Disclaimer: Not mine. All the wonderful characters belong to Bioware. Sadly enough.
Archiving: Only with the permission of the author.
Author's Note: Lots and lots of swearing...
* Plus, it cannot be taken seriously. I warned you. Silliness ensues...
* I'm replaying the game, so I will update when I find the time to actually PLAY.
* Short, short chapters, just so you know.
* Constructive criticism and other reviews are always welcome :)

"The Order dictates!"

Stepping in front of Bethany I make it clear there is no point in pushing the issue. If he so much as breathes on her, he'll have one sword hand less. My blades would cut through Templar bones as they would through a delicate flower. My eyes dare him to say anything more, as I yearn for the opportunity to put my blades to good use. Templars. They are all the same.

Carver of course hasn't moved a muscle. Stupid jerk. I have to reassure him at every corner, endure his cowardice and whining ... and now he's too much of a craven to even protect his twin. Might be the Darkspawn are the least of my problems.

This Aveline might prove of use, though. I'm not sure whether to trust her or not, but for now, she has my respect.

Provoking the Templar while talking to the strange pair turns out to be a lot of fun. I can't help but make some snide remarks, knowing Bethany appreciates them as much as I do. When I look at her, I can see a tiny smile creeping onto her face. Marvelous sight.

"If the options are south or die ... I'll take my chances with south."

Of course, Carver doesn't like that. I can feel his glare on my back, and I just know he's pissed off now. Good for him, it might even give him an edge in battle. So far, he's only proven one thing: that a huge blade means nothing in the hands of an imbecile.

I chuckle. It almost gives me pleasure to see him frown.

As we press on, Bethany, the dog and I make quick work of the darkspawn. Aveline helps a little, to be honest.

Sure enough, as I attack some Hurlock Bolters that are perched on a ledge, stupid fucking Carver decides to leave Bethany's side, rushing after me. Fucking jackass. I don't even have the time to yell at him, when I see several darkspawn appear out of nowhere to attack my sister. She uses a Mind Blast, the clever girl, but that will only help her so much; there's no one around to catch the Hurlocks' attention.

I leave the last of my Bolter's to Carver, it's his problem now. Jumping off the ledge, I rush past Aveline, who's busy fighting off three Hurlocks that seem to have fallen out of the sky.

"Sister!" Bethany is running towards me, Hurlocks on her feet. I dodge her and use a Miasmic Flask to slow the creatures behind her down, let's see how they like that!

Lucky shot. I've stunned them all. Slitting their throats one after the other, I'm glad to see a Fireball flying past me, exploding when it hits one of the beasts. I evade the blast it causes and walk back to my favourite mage, bumping shoulders as I reach her.

Her golden eyes sparkle with gratitude and mischief as she smiles at me lovingly.

"You could have left some for me!"

"Oh, excuse meeeeeeee, Miss, I thought you had your hands full already."

"With what? Fire? I sure did."

"You mock me."

"I do? I'm sorry I didn't hear you there..." Walking off, Bethany winks at me, before she checks on our dog. But Athena seems well, she's already ripping darkspawn corpses apart. Wait a minute ... when did I last feed her?

"You stupid stinking bastard, the fucking Fade take you! Who in the name of Andraste's tits told you to run after me?!" Pushing the surprised craven who calls himself my brother, I strain to keep my temper in check.

"Language!"

"Yes mother." Oh how annoying she can be at times such as this. All I want is for my brother to die a painful and slow death right now. For leaving the side of a bloody mage!

"So?!" I'm furious. Never mind that Bethany is fine, he's not supposed to run after me like a damned dog on a leash!

"What? So you can rush off and I cannot?" Kill. Him. Now.

I shove him again, harder this time. Ignoring mother's protests and muttered "Manners!".

"Yes, you brainless nug! You said you'd protect her!" Shove.

"I'm fine, really." Bethany. Of course, she doesn't like me jumping down his throat. At least not when mother's around.

"No one's talking to you!" Oh, hat might've been a bit harsh. Will have to make up for it later. No matter. First things first.

"You blighted fool, do you really have no idea that she was in danger?! You can't just leave a fucking mage unprotected! She's fragile!"

"I am not!"

"By Andraste's fires, would you shut up, woman?!"

"Oh, to the Void with you two!" And she storms off. Wonderful. I can't even give my brother a mental spanking without her going off the deep end.