Disclaimer: First, My name is not Jo it is Kenn. I work at Sears and am in the PA Army National Guard, not a professional writer with more money than the Queen of England. There for I must not be the goddess who created Harry Potter and cannot make any money off of this.

Second, I may play the drums, guitar and drive my family crazy when I sing, but I do not tour around the world or have 4 amazing albums and the voice of a goddess. Therefore I must not be the beautiful Hayley Williams and talented crew and cannot make any money off of this.

Third, this is a song fiction that got out of control for better lack of words. I happen to be a very one dimensional writer, which is good for "one shots", they never get too confusing. Problem is it makes chapter fics dreadful to read so if this gets to be too much to bear, please let me know and I will kill it in its sleep.

Last, I love feedback. I hardly consider myself a decent writer and often misspell common words. I only ask you forgive me in advance if something slips through my many editing sessions.

I bid you all a happy reading!

Paramour

:A lover, especially one in an adulterous relationship

Chapter 1: All I Wanted Was You

Ginny sat inside her room, sulking behind the dim light pathetically radiating from a candle she would soon need to replace. It had been nearly a month since she had been outside of her "Cave of Sanity" as she called it. 29 days since she had felt the sun warm her skin. 696 hours since she had spoken to anyone. Roughly 41760 minutes since she had made the hardest decision of her life. The last thing she should ever have done happened, and now her life was simply, over.

Looking over at one of the few possessions that meant anything to her, a still photograph Hermione had given Ginny of the two of them, she could feel herself growing weaker.

"Why aren't the pictures moving" Ginny asked with the most confused look on her face.

"It's a muggle photograph love, our smiles in this picture mirror the way I love you. They will never change. Just as how I feel for you could never be anything less than how I feel at this very moment, completely and intoxicatingly in love with you."

She knew Hermione meant it at the time. The girl probably had no idea what the redhead was capable of. How much she could be hurt by Ginny. How much Ginny knew she could never deserve someone as whole and beautiful as Hermione.

Thinking about this only gave Ginny more reasons to hate herself, something she had become extremely good at over the last month. If she could only just show her how sorry she was. How much it pained her to look into that picture and know she changed something unchangeable. She lost the only thing that would ever give her life meaning. Hermione.

"You were my greatest gift, and my hardest sacrifice." She gently spoke to herself.

She knew her life would now be a shadow of what it used to be. Who she use to be. Ginny knew from the moment she saw her lovers heart break to this day, 29, that she would never be the same. Hermione would go on and act as though nothing was wrong with her. She wouldn't give a thought to Ginny; she wouldn't let her mind wander long enough to dream about her red hair in the moonlight. Everyone would treat the genius with the utmost respect possible, not that she was due anything less. Ginny could beg and plead to be seen by her, but her world, Ginny's one and only love would never accept that. Ginny had completely convinced herself that Hermione would never acknowledge her again. This is exactly the reason Ginny locked herself up in the bed room of her 2nd story apartment for the last 29 days. This was the exact reason she did it to begin with.

Looking back at the picture, seeing those smiling faces she couldn't help but let a well fought back tear slip through the cracks.

"All I wanted was you." She said to the smile that stole her heart.

Looking out the window again she smiled sadly holding back the remaining tears fighting their way to the surface.

"All I wanted was you." She said to the moon, and to the girl she'd never see again.

Back at Hermione's flat there were dishes all over the place. Parchment thrown about, broken quills, dried out inkbottles and at least a million paper balls littered around a trash can they never seemed to make it into.

It had been 29 days since she had slept in her bed. A bed now drenched in lies and deceit. A bed soaked in mornings of love making, "breakfast in bed for dinner" and heated discussions of quidditch tactics or house elf rights. Sheets polluted with another woman's sweat, sex, and satisfaction. Memories of pure happiness, of promises, of love and devotion. It was all too much for this young witch to handle in the middle of the night. For 29 days the few hours of sleep that she allowed herself to have came in the form of a burgundy couch she had fashioned to look like the one she loved so much in the Gryffindor common room. Right now however the brunette couldn't sleep for the world. It was 2 in the morning.

The dead hours of night were when the lawyer would always become restless. The hours between 12 and 3 were always reserved for time with Ginny. Between Ginny's early morning quidditch practices and her own late nights at the office interviewing and placing elves, or writing new legislation, this was the only time they could spend together every day. It was like Hermione's body couldn't stop moving once it hit 12 AM. She couldn't sit still or concentrate on anything remotely productive, not that she hadn't tried every night, as evident by the many crumbled pieces of parchment littering the floor by the can in the corner.

It was around this time that Hermione found herself pacing her flat like a mad woman. Only was she able to get any precious sleep after tiring herself out enough to collapse on the blood red couch. The only sound within miles coming from the light buzz of the muggle television set her parents bought her on her 21st birthday.

It came as no surprise to her a few hours later when she awoke in a cold sweat screaming for Ginny to get off of that slut and get out of her home. 29 days she spent replaying that scene in her head trying to figure out how she didn't see it coming. They were so happy, the perfect couple. 29 nights she'd awoken panicked from reliving the worst moments of her life, and it was starting to take its toll on her.

Hermione's heart had become hardened from the nightmares. Each night she felt her heart break all over again making her increasingly colder to the world around her. Waking up in a cold sweat, cussing at the top of her lungs, crying her eyes raw; these were all symptoms of Ginny now. This is what she would wake up to for the rest of her life. That and old black and white cartoons.

"Popeye again?" Hermione questioned the television set. She had loved watching the old black and white cartoons that came on after 3. It was something her father would do with her the summers she would spend with her parents early on in her Hogwarts years. An activity she continued to do occasionally with Ginny after a particularly long day in court or after a bad loss for the Harpies.

Flipping through the channels only to find old cartoons or infomercials she quickly shut of the tele and threw the remote down on the coffee table, missing it by a few inches.

"Fuck it." She mused to herself. Getting up she grabbed one of the many mugs on the table in front of her knowing there wouldn't be any clean ones left and went to the kitchen to make a really strong cup of tea. She would have to get ready for work in an hour and these days doing so took infinitely more time, patience and strength than ever before.

Hermione found herself startled by the whistle of the water kettle not realizing she had been on auto pilot the last few minutes of her life. Taking the pot off the stove she was ready to pour the water into the mug she had grabbed off the coffee table. She was not how ever ready to see Ginny's favorite tea mug sitting next to it with a tea bag ready to be seeped.

"Fucking auto pilot! I'm not with her anymore, can you just stop making this so bloody hard for me!"

Realizing she was yelling at herself and holding a very hot kettle of boiling water she took a deep breath and proceeded to pour herself a mug. Waiting for the water to turn into tea she cast the smallest look of distain at the offending mug beside hers.

After fixing her tea the way she liked it Hermione glanced over to the well used "Holly Head Harpies Captain" cup with a frown knowing full well the girl would always have the same impression on her. She would always be the one haunting her dreams. Always be the one who had stolen her heart with nothing but a mere glace. And she knew Ginny would forever be the girl that broke it just as quickly. Giving up she placed her half empty mug on the counter and proceeded to put her ex lovers' mug away.

"All I wanted was you." She said out loud preying there was no way Ginny could hear her speak those words.

Making her way to through bedroom she couldn't help but look at the sheets thrown about her bed like the passionate massacre had taken place only moments ago. After only a second she could feel the pathetic nothing she was able to consume earlier working its way out of her stomach as quickened her pace to the washroom.

Head against the toilet crying and panting from the burn of bile and stomach acid making its way out of her and into the water bowl she couldn't help but think "All I wanted was you." hoping this time that Ginny could hear her, and feel her heart breaking over again in her chest.

If there was one thing Ginny regretted it was her inability to feel sometimes. She could love like no other, but there were times after the war where it was easier to not feel than to fall apart. She wanted nothing more than to go back to the beginning. Before the dark lord had taken half her family, friends and mentors.

When the war was over, all the honors where handed out, the dead counted and buried, and the ministry rebuilt the girls went back to school to finish up their education. Their best friends and brothers were off trying to "find themselves". This really meant Harry needed to find himself. Ron being far too in love with him had no choice but tag along. Neither of the girls held this against them or really blamed them.

During this year Hermione turned to her NEWTs studies to coop with the stress and Ginny turned to quidditch to manage her anger at the world for taking away her favorite brother, and so many others she loved. But in the middle of the night when the books were all read a thousand times over, and the qwaffle was thrown and caught till her hands were sore, they would turn to each other.

At first it started as a way for Ginny to feel something. Hermione would watch her every moment she could and would study her every move. She could tell the younger girl was in so much pain she had shut off completely. She would do things on auto polite 24/7 and would hardly ever speak to someone unless asked a serious question. Her eyes were so full of anger, and when they weren't they were filled with nothing. This nothing was in Hermione's eyes, so much worse.

She would hold Ginny's hand when they walked in the halls and play with her hair as she fell asleep. When Ginny got so angry she would shake and convulse Hermione would wrap herself around the girl and hold onto her whispering how beautiful she was, or how much she was loved by her. It always seemed to calm her down enough to get in bed and safely in Hermione's arms.

One day after a really tough quidditch practice Ginny came up to the head girl's room muttering a quite "Believe" to the lion's head that guarded the "Head girls" room Hermione shared with Ginny.

The red head could see Hermione sitting at her usual spot in front of her desk writing notes like a mad woman. She acknowledged how beautiful her friend looked when she threw herself into something. It was one of the very few things Ginny could still find beautiful in this world.

Quietly taking her team robes off and hanging them on the chair to her own desk she was taken by surprise when the girl who was sitting across the room only seconds ago was right behind her breathing on the back of her neck heavily.

"Ginny…" Hermione spoke so softly she could hardly make out her own name.

"Yes herm?" she decided was the best way to acknowledge the girls presence. She could feel heat coming off her friend and it made her shiver.

"Can you feel right now?" Hermione was only met with silence though.

"Can you feel your beaten up hands? Can you feel your broken heart? Can you feel anything at all?" Hermione practically begged these questions to the stiff form in front of her.

Turning around Hermione knew the answer the second she was met with the most beautiful dark green eyes she'd ever laid her sight to. Beautiful, but completely empty.

"No. I can't feel right now." She stated simply. She wasn't going to lie to Hermione. She was the one who held her every night. Who made sure she ate at least once a day. Who reminded her that if she failed her classes this year she wouldn't be able to keep doing the one thing she still loved. She wasn't going to lie to the most supportive person she had left.

Hermione kept searching those green eyes begging to see something other than hollow nothing. Without thinking anymore she closed what little distance that remained between the girls and kissed the young witch as hard as she could.

It took a moment for Ginny to recognize what being kissed felt like, but this wasn't like kissing harry or dean or any boy. This was hard but soft. Needing but giving. Desperate but loving. It was everything she was always told a kiss should be but never experienced. In her shocked state Ginny quickly composed herself and pulled away from Hermione enough to figure out what that was for.

"Herm… what are you doing?" she asked confused but not put off.

Without answering Hermione jumped her a second time pushing her up against her work desk to keep her from getting away again. Having decided these lips were too good not to kiss back Ginny gave the girl her mouth in its entirety and soon fought with her for dominance.

Hermione could sense the redhead's displeasement with their current positioning so she grabbed hold of her tank top and pulled her back till they both hit the bed they had been sharing platonically for 3 months. Before Hermione could even register her thoughts the young athlete had already pulled the girls shirt off as well as her own leaving her torso in nothing more than a sports bra.

Taking a moment to admire the subtle curves of Hermione's body Ginny began to slowly undo the brunettes slacks till she had them off her legs and forgotten on the floor. Hermione quickly sat up and stripped the girl of the sweats she wore under her practice robes during the winter, revealing the most athletic body she had ever seen. It was as if this feelingless beauty had carved her body to perfection since her heart was so far from it.

Ripping the girl's underwear off Hermione pulled her in and straddled her prey on the bed. Running a hand down the red heads cut abs she could feel gin's core radiating heat for her. In the midst of engaging Ginny in a hard passionate kiss she was surprised to feel 2 fingers being pushed inside her pulling every inch of the girl's body closer. Hermione wanted nothing but to make this wonder feel as incredible as she did at that very moment and took Ginny's sex in her hand, not at all surprised to feel it soaking for her.

After Ginny inserted a 3rd finger Hermione decided to up her game and went from touching her to full on fucking the redhead senseless. Ginny latching on to Hermione's neck with her lips letting her teeth dance playfully across her lovers burning skin. Ginny tried to keep pace with her friend but was fast approaching the best orgasm she would ever have. Hermione started to shutter and tremble holding onto her muscular companion as tight as she could while thrusting into the quivering walls of her friend.

With I low moan on Hermione's part and a husky growl from Ginny the girls reached their orgasms, riding each other's hands as they pathetically tried to keep their lips latched to one another. Ginny was done before Hermione and held her close as the girl trembled under her touch.

Once Hermione came down she looked into the beautiful girls eyes and saw something. What it was she wasn't sure but it sure was something which made her happier than could be.

"All I wanted was to make you feel something." Hermione said with a content smile on her face. This was quick lived as the look in Ginny's eyes went quickly from something, to anger and pain. Before Hermione could explain what she meant Ginny was already half dressed and moving towards the door with her shoes in her hand.

"Ginny! Where are you going?" Hermione almost yelled out of shock.

The redhead turned her head to the side; Hermione could still see the look of pain in her eyes as she spoke softly.

"Hermione, all I wanted was you."

With that the witch was gone. She left Hermione half naked in the bed they just fucked in feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

"Ginny! Please don't go!" she cried grabbing the sheet off their bed and running after her now lover.

The brunette finally caught up with her friend in the common room and grabbed Ginny's hand violently jerking her to face her destiny.

"That's not what I meant. I… can we… go back to the beginning?" Hermione pleaded with her eyes.

"You can't just do that herm. You can't just relive the start of something and expect to make the past go away. I felt something. Happy now?" she yelled ripping her hand out of Hermione's grasp.

"Gin please! Let's just… slow down for a second. I just need to…AH! All I wanted was you. I want you Ginny. Not this hollow shell. I want you!"

"It's not that easy mate, I can't just be happy for your sake. You have to make me happy, for me to be happy." Ginny tried to reason with the girl.

The look of need was so evident on Hermione's face that Ginny had to let go of all this pain. She had been waiting for Hermione to love her like that for too long to just push it away.

"Go back up to bed. I'll be back with some tea." Ginny spoke softly so Hermione new she was no longer as angry. One moment Ginny was kissing Hermione softly, the next she was through the portrait hole leaving the genius to figure things out for herself. Lost in her own thoughts she went back up to her room thankful that only a few other 7th years were still up. The chances of this incident becoming gossip were slim to none.

That's was the first clue Ginny decided. She had never been able to get rid of that emptiness. She often found herself doing terrifying things just to feel when she became a shadow. Flying at top speed through dense forests, experimenting with hallucinogens, even the occasional cutting binge. Hermione didn't know about any of this though. She could never bring herself to tell her she couldn't be Ginny's savior. There was no fixing her. Loving Ginny was the best gift a girl could ever have. She was well taken care of, and above all always loved. But she was still broken. That's why she slept with Flure Delecore at Hermione's flat. She was damaged goods and Hermione deserved better than a liar.

Ginny got up from her perch by the window and decided 29 days was long enough. The new quidditch season was starting in a couple weeks and if she was going to out fly all the young girls she would need to be in peak condition.

Just like that she went from loving Hermione to not knowing what love was. She was empty Ginny. But this time she was going to try her hardest to stay that way. Making her way to the shower she grabbed the new bottle of fire whiskey ron had dropped off for her that morning and took a swig from the bottle.

"All I wanted was you Hermione." She toasted to the air before taking another swig.