A/N: I missed writing fanfic. Good to be back. :D
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh. Please don't sue me.
Vince has been sitting with the sick antelope for three days. It's been getting medicine, but doesn't appear to be improving, and Fossil has threatened to get rid of it if it doesn't get better soon. The antelope hasn't been saying much, and this worries Vince, because no one would pass up a chance to talk to him unless there was something very, very wrong. So Vince has been trying his hardest to get the antelope to talk to him. He's shared every bit of relevant zoo gossip he can think of, and the antelope hasn't shown any interest.
But there's one thing he neglected to tell it. It's a secret of Vince's, and it's a bit embarrassing, but Vince is willing to sacrifice his reputation for the sake of the noble antelope.
"There's one more thing…" he says. The antelope feebly lifts its head, displaying interest.
"You know Howard Moon?" The antelope is silent. "Tall, mustache, small eyes?"
"Oh, yes," it says.
"Well…" Vince scratches the back of his neck and whispers, "I think he's rather endearing. I make fun of him all the time, but I actually…you know…I like him quite a bit."
"Vince," the antelope says weakly, "I know for a fact that he feels the same way."
"Don't lead me on," Vince says, but he's glad the antelope is talking, and secretly pleased to hear a confirmation.
"Trust me," it says. "Animal intuition." Then it falls silent, its head resting on the ground once more.
From the entrance to the enclosure, a voice says, "Vince?" and a few seconds later, Howard appears in Vince's line of vision.
Vince starts when he sees him, but quickly regroups. "The antelope," he says sadly. "I think we're gonna lose him."
Howard looks down at the animal. It breathes slowly. "I'm so sorry, little man," Howard says, and he reaches for Vince's hands.
Vince looks up at him, questioning, and then takes his hands and allows himself to be pulled to his feet. Then he's wrapped in a hug, and it's all very warm and soft and pleasant.
Despite the situation, Vince finds himself smiling into Howard's collarbone, and then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees the antelope stand up.
Vince gasps, and Howard lets go of him. "What?"
They both turn to stare at the antelope, which appears to be smirking. It nods at Vince, says, "I told you so," and walks away to join its herd at the other end of the enclosure.
"Wow," Howard says. "What happened?"
"I think the power of our mutual love healed him," Vince says quietly.
"Oh, right." Howard nods, then backpedals. "Wait, what?"
Vince looks at the ground and smiles sheepishly. "The antelope told me you'd return my feelings. Was he right?"
"You have feelings? Involving me?" Howard pauses, then says, "Then, yeah, yes, he was right."
Vince looks up. They smile at each other. Then there's a rustle from around the corner, and Fossil emerges. "Is that stupid thing better yet?"
But Howard and Vince don't look at him at all. They're looking at each other when they say "Yes" in unison, and their answer is true for all counts.