A/N: Hello lovelies!

I'm not sure if Anthony ever did fight in the trenches but I thought I would give writing this a go. He thinks of his romance with Edith before and after he is shot.

Thanks for reading!

He was so very frightened and hoped the small group of men would think he was shaking because of the cold. Yes he was so very old but the looks in their scared young eyes said that they were glad to have him, glad to have someone so much older to look out for them. He had never been a father, he hadn't even been a husband for very long and it was only now, now that his face was covered in mud, and when the sound of gun fire filled the air that he realised how very important that was. How much he was missing home and hoping that someone there was missing him too. A silly thought yes and he would never want to put that pain or worry on anyone but still a nice thought. Hearing the younger man who sat on the crate next to his in their dug out talk he turned to him. The glow of the lamps were almost comforting and reminding him of home. The sound of rats and occasional shouting reminded him it most certainly was not.

"What's her name?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't pretend you don't have anyone. Everyone has someone at home."

He smiled at him weakly shaking his head. How did he know he was thinking of her? Edith. He loved her so very much and what a fool he had been to leave without even talking to her first. He hadn't even spoken to her. Not a word. Not even the chance for a cold shoulder for he hadn't seen her. It was only now in the thick of war did he see how important it was to set right the wrongs. What he would give now to talk to her but he couldn't, wouldn't. Not until the war was over he wouldn't want to put her through what all the other men's wife's and sweethearts were going through. Their letters from home showed such strength but still their worry and pain shined through. He loved her enough to let her think that he didn't care that he didn't want to propose. If the worse came to worse than there would be nothing drawn out, nothing left. The man spoke again shuffling some cards in his cold hands.

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"No."

"Sometimes memories are best."

He winked slyly at him almost dropping the cards shaking his head slightly. Anthony envied these men more than anything. They were so young, so full of life. They had not only the courage to fight but the strength to have a life at home too. It was so awful and he would always pretend that it was the rats or the cold keeping him awake at night. In truth it was home. How would he go back there? How would he go back there and be normal? Still Edith was on his mind nothing he could do would make her go away. He knew that meant he truly loved her if he turned to her to give him comfort in his darkest moments but how could he write to her? How to start it? It wasn't just the past he lingered on. It was the future. How she would kiss him, what she would say to him if she were mad, what she would want to call their children, what she looked like in the morning. He wanted to talk to her more than anything and was sure he was going to break into a million pieces. Would he ever feel like a whole person again? Did she want to talk to him or was she still so very angry? He should be there with her now telling her all of these things not stuck here dreaming like a silly old fool.

He was torn from his thoughts seeing Harry enter the small make shift room. He recognised him well, he always brought the post. He never got anything very important and hadn't received anything personal in just over a year but this time was different as he handed over a letter. He turned it over in his shaking hands almost as if the letter with the familiar writing on the front was just a cruel trick.

"Honestly Anthony anybody would think you didn't want someone waiting for you at home."

Anthony looked away from him feeling his face burn. The thought was enough to make his heart ache even more. He didn't think someone could make him feel so alive and so angry at the same time. She could put more bullets in him then the Germans ever could. He opened the latter carefully unsure if he wanted to read it when he was surrounded by so many people. Realising he would never be alone to read it and knowing it would keep him going for god knows how many more months he took a breath and tore it open. Edith did not speak of her self nor of home in her short letter. It simply sent well wishes. So formal but so full of love and broken feelings. Refusing to re read it anymore he tucked it away in his pocket closest to his heart. Almost as if the ink and sentiment would sink through his chest to his heart and keep him well for a little longer. Hide the pain a little longer. He wanted so much to reply but he would not. Not yet. Not until he was safe and was sure he could provide for her. Hearing the sound of gunfire they all wearily jumped to their feet ready to fight again. Anthony took the first step out the door wanting to feel that he could do something to help those behind him. So they weren't going into what ever it was unknowingly. He stepped out into the dark night unaware that his next moment would be the moment that would change his life for ever and even Edith's well meaning words wouldn't keep him safe, not even in their future together. He had not realised he had fell until he saw the same man that had sat next to him minutes earlier standing over him, helping him, keeping him safe. Shaking with cold and leaning down to him resting a hand on his shoulder he finally spoke.

"Harry said your lady friend, the one that's waiting for you, went to a lot of trouble to make sure that letter got to you safely. You never did tell me her name."

"Edith. Her name is Edith..."

Anthony said his voice trembling and coming out as an almost shout, unable to finish his sentence as the assault on the Germans continued. He didn't even know this mans name yet here he was keeping him safe. The pain was almost unbearable and he was sure this was it. Had Edith's letter been an omen of some kind? He didn't want to think of her right now, not now it was growing ever so dark and cold. As the young man faded away into the crowd that looked all the same in their uniforms the darkened sky felt like it was crashing above him and he was unable to move. God he missed her and now he was so alone and he wasn't sure he could do it. So scared of the change that was about to come, the change that could be permanent. Permanent to his life, permanent to Edith's love for him. The tears slowly escaped his tired eyes as he spoke again so quietly and to him self finishing his sentence.

"...but I doubt she's waiting for me at all."