Summary: Gin enlightens the espada of human nursery rhymes.

A/N: Hi! Demon again. I dunno why, but nowadays, I'm starting to think more like Gin. And by that, I mean thinking up of practical jokes that he would pull. Or whatever you would call this. Mortification?

Oh. And if my story in general will have a bunch of mistakes. Grammar, spelling, whatever.

Please tell me if there are some.

Disclaimer: Bleach is non mine.

I'm a Little Tea Pot

I relished the fact I was sitting in Aizen's seat at the head of the table. I felt almost as conceded as the bastard himself. Anyways, the espada were also seated around the table. I couldn't help but grin at their puzzled/pissed off faces.

"What the fuck is going on?" grumbled Grimmjow irritably.

"Yes, Ichimaru." Ulquiorra surprisingly agreed, "What is the meaning of this? I thought Aizen-sama called together this meeting."

Honestly. What a teacher's pet.

I merely smiled, "Well, Aizen's birthday is coming up soon. I was thinking that we should surprise him!"

"How so?" inquired Hallibel.

"I thought you would never ask." I replied with a grin, "Well, he just loves nursery rhymes, so I thought we should throw him a concert!"

"Concert?" repeated Nnoitra, "What the fuck is that?"

Alas. I forgot how stu…..errr…..ignorant espada could be.

"Well, a concert is an event where an individual musician or a group of musicians, e.g. a choir, band, or orchestra, performs in front of an audience. In this case, our audience will be Aizen."

Szayel appeared mildly interested. Actually, scratch that. Very interested, "So I can sing K-pop?"

I fought down the urge to gag, "Umm…no. Nursery rhymes. Only nursery rhymes."

"So what the fuck are nursery rhymes anyway?" asked Yammy.

I sighed. Ignorant and foulmouthed. One of these days I'm gonna wash all their mouths with soap. A lot of soap, "A nursery rhyme is a short song or poem for young children, especially one that has become traditional."

"It sounds like you memorized the dictionary definition." remarked Aaroniero.

I still can't get over how creepy he is. She is. It is. Whatever. I smiled sweetly, "Oh, no. It's all up here." I point at my gorgeous skull which contained my brilliant brain, "Anyways, I'll start with this one." I even did the hand motions that went with it.

I'm a little tea pot

Short and stout

Here is my handle

Here is my spout

When I get all steamed up

Hear me shout

Tip me over and pour me out

"What the fuck…." began Grimmjow with a disgusted/annoyed expression on his face, "…was that?"

I ignored him, "So who's gonna sing this one?"

"You seriously think anyone's gonna sing that shit?" asked Yammy incredulously.

I ignored the tenth espada also and just stared at him.

This resulted in a Yammy with a rising pique, "What the fuck are you staring at me for?"

"You should sing that song." I finally decided, pounding my fisted hand into my palm.

How cute (::cough::not in the least::cough::). He started spluttering, "Wh-what the fuck?!"

"I mean, you don't have the short part, obviously, but you sure are stout." I continued as if he never spoke. I was never good at hearing idiots anyway. And for those of you who are wondering if I value my life, I am an expert at fleeing.

Yammy growled, "Do you wanna die?"

"Nope. Not in least." I replied cheerfully.

Grimmjow appeared thoughtful, "You know something, I can actually see where the foxy creep is heading at."

Me? Creepy? How rude. There are people tenfold more freaky than I can ever be. For example, at the current time I am surrounded by them. And a fox doesn't represent me at all. I'm more of a….I don't know….A…..An albino naked mole rat! That's it. (And yes, it must be specifically that sort of creature.)

"What the fuck do you mean?" growled Yammy.

Nnoitra was the one who answered, "You have a fucking temper."

"And Ulquiorra is usually the one who soothes your temper tantrums." added Szayel with a sugary smile, "Or, should I say, tip you over and pour you out?"

I grinned. This was turning out better than I thought.

Ulquiorra looked confused, and clearly not on the same page as the rest, "Why would a human want to be a tea pot?"

A/N: Okay, there's my first chapter! Please review and stuff if you want me to continue with the concept. Oh, and if you have any ideas of your own, like which nursery song would match which espada, please let me know! And don't forget. REVIEW