Title: The Time Warp Gone Wrong
Fandom: Glee
Pairings/Characters: All club, no pairings
Summary: Written after seeing the clip of next week's glee. The kids do the time warp, but what does Mr. Shue think?
A/N: Yeah, it's me hating on them. Poor Mr. Shue had to suffer first hand, though. Meant to be taken humorously-I LOVE GLEE, but it was just HORRIBLE! OOC-ness and slight crack. REVIEWS WELCOME.
Mr. Shue sighed and folded his hands in his seat. "Alright, show me what you got!"
The music started and Mr. Shue was pleased when Kurt successfully opened up the number (accurate costume, too, compared to everyone else, Mr. Shue noted.) Then Quinn popped up in a square-shaped Magenta dress. Mr. Shue cringed. Then Finn started leading the song. Mr. Shue opened his mouth in what the kids thought was a good type of shock, remembering that this is not at all how the choreography went.
"But it's the pelvic thruuussts, that really drive you insaaaaane!"
No, it isn't, Mr. Shue thought. It's this performance.
But soon Mr. Shue realized that the worst was not over yet.
Quinn sang Magenta's part WAAAY to high, like most pop artists sing a love song. Mr. Shue put his hands over his mouth with his eyes wide. Thankfully, Kurt saved him from his misery, but only for a second though.
Okay, okay, Mr. Shue thought. I think Quinn's done. Columbia's part is up next. Tina's good, Brittany, too. Let's hope they don't mess this up.
But, alas, they did.
They continued to prance around the set, attempting to sing, and failing. By the time they fell to their end, Mr. Shue was hugging his knees and rocking back and forth. He jumped in surprise when they all stood up and yelled, "FINISHED!," Rachel especially loud.
Mr. Shue rose slowly and faced them all in turn. "Kids," he started in a stern voice. Keep calm, Will, keep calm. Keep calm. Keep calm…
He tried, he really did, but…
It was SO. BAD.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT CRAP?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Sam jumped into Quinn's arms, who was surprisingly able to support him. "I SPENT HALF OUR BUDGET ON THE SET FOR THAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"
"Mr. Shue-" Rachel started feebly.
"RACHEL-DON'T TALK. YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I WANT TO HEAR RIGHT NOW. I COULD STAND HERE AND LIST OFF ALL THE THINGS YOU DID WRONG, BUT IT WOULD TAKE FOREVER, SO I'LL JUST POINT OUT THE BIG ONES. QUINN!"
The cheerleader was so shocked that she dropped Sam right on the floor. He curled up in fetal position and sucked on his thumb.
"YOU WERE SINGING WAAAAAY TO HIGH. I WANTED TO STAB YOU IN THE THROAT! AND WHAT'S WITH YOUR DRESS? THIS AIN'T NO LADY GAGA IN CONCERT!"
She hung her head in shame, and Rachel tried to speak up again. "But-"
"RACHEL-I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU HAVE NOT AND MOST LIEKY NEVER WILL WATCH THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW IN YOUR HOPEFULLY SHORT LIFE. AND YOU MAY ACT LIKE IT, BUT LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT-YOU. ARE. NOT. A. THEATRE. CONNISSEUR. YOU'RE A TEENY BOPPER. SO GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND LISTEN TO KELLY CLARKSON."
"AND FINN! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LEAD THEM! YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BRAD AND JANET WERE STANDING IN THE BACK THE WHOLE TIME, ALL SCARED AND FREAKED OUT. NOT ONCE DID THEY UTTER A SINGLE NOTE DURING THAT SONG-NOT ONE I TELL YA! AND ALSO…YOU'RE TO UGLY TO PLAY BRAD."
"Wha-…what? Why?" Finn sputtered.
"BECAUSE HE WAS THE BEST LOOKING ONE IN THE WHOLE SHOW. GEEZ, NO WONDER YOU AND RACHEL ARE TOGETHER!"
"KURT!"
The boy's head shot up as he prepared for the worst.
"YOU WERE FABULOUS! THE ONLY ONE UP THERE WORTH GIVING A DAMN. IT'S LIKE YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO WATCHED IT AND HAD TO SUFFER THESE ABSOULUTE IDIOTS!"
Kurt smiled super wide. Mercedes looked a little upset at being called an absolute idiot. Mr. Shue noticed as Kurt took her hand. "MERCEDES!"
She retraced her hand. "YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THAT ROLE. I THINK YOU SHOULD BE…MAGENTA."
She gasped and faced Kurt excitedly. "You mean?"
He nodded. Kurt and Mercedes held hands and jumped. "QUINN, THAT MEANS YOU GET TO BE DR. FRANK N FURTER. YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM CLINING AND DROOLING OVER SAM LIKE SOME PROSTITUTE."
"But Mr. Shuester, that's a male role."
"Yeah, but you look so much like one already, no one will be able to tell the difference. Kurt, Mercedes-let's go discuss the changes."
The followed him happily out of the theatre, leaving several teenagers in crying heaps.
But little did they all know, one Sue Sylvester had been peeping in on their performance.
And got one Mr. Will Shuester suspended for two months. And made to take some serious anger management classes.
THE END!
A/N: Do you hate me? I kinda hate me, but it was SOO much fun! Lemme know what you think!~