Disclaimer: Not mine, blah blah blah.
A/N: After a ridiculous spelling mistake, I have changed it! l I must have lost my mind. Thanks to those who pointed it out:P
Spoiler: None. Post-"Role Model". House and Wilson discuss the implications of Cameron leaving.
Dr. Gregory House sat at a round stone table in the sunny court-yard of the hospital cafeteria, glaring intently at his 'tuna-noodle casserole'.
Placing a tray across from his, Dr. James Wilson took a seat, blocking the sunlight from Houses' grim face. He poked a fork at his own meal and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully.
"It's really not that bad you know" he said at last.
House exhaled sharply and looked up, as if noticing Wilson's presence for the first time.
"By the looks of that tie, it's apparent you lack taste in every area" he said dryly.
Wilson chuckled quietly and took another bite, examining House who was seemingly preoccupied with a nearby shrub.
"I realize how jealous you must be" House said, not adjusting his gaze, "but I find your ogling unnerving. I have half a mind to tell Cuddy".
Wilson raised his brow and followed his friends' gaze to... nothing.
"Okay…" he said at last.
"What is it?" he put his fork down.
House looked at Wilson with irritation.
"What? Don't I seem my chipper self?" he scoffed.
"Not really" said Wilson, sipping his iced tea.
"You've only made one comment about my tie and have said nothing about my haircut. Frankly, I'm a little concerned" he said pleasantly.
Houses' eyes flicked upwards, taking in Wilson's recently-cropped hair.
"You should sue" he said coolly.
"Happy?"
Wilson frowned slightly, peering at his companion.
"Okay. You won't talk, I'll ask Cameron. She seems to have developed quite a knack for figuring you out lately".
He rose to leave.
"What makes you say that?" House questioned shortly.
Wilson smiled slightly and returned to his seat.
"Ah-ha, so it is her" he jeered.
"How can they even call this food?" House grumbled, poking at his casserole.
"This is a hospital for godssake, the people are already sick".
Wilson looked across the table at his friend, trying to decipher the confusion flying within Houses' head.
"What happened?" her persisted.
House shoved his tray away and reached across the table and stole half of Wilson's turkey sandwich and took a bite.
Wilson laughed.
"What? No mustard?" House commented dryly.
Wilson knit his brow and stared at his difficult friend.
House sighed loudly.
"Why would you say something like that?" he demanded.
"Like what?" Wilson questioned innocently.
"That crap about Cameron 'figuring me out'? I'm hurt— I pride myself on my ability to perplex and confuse" he said, taking another bite of the sandwich.
Wilson shrugged.
"I don't know. What little time I've spent with the girl, she just... seems to get you— as much as anyone can get you, anyway".
House blinked, visibly unnerved for a brief instant.
"So you two discuss me?" he questioned.
"No!" laughed Wilson.
"No, no— we're intelligent people, well aware of the consequences of such a foolhardy act".
He watched for Houses' reaction and received none.
Undaunted, Wilson continued.
"No, she just... 'gets' you— your moods, what you're really thinking. She's stuck up for you on more than one occasion" he added.
House let out a single, explosive laugh.
"Poor girl" he said, slightly more honestly than he'd intended, "I knew there was something wrong with her".
He polished off the sandwich and looked up to see Wilson offering him the other half.
"So what did you do to her?" Wilson finally got at the root of the problem.
"Oh, you know" House accepted the sandwich.
"Ruined her emotionally, crushed her fledgling hopes and dreams, the usual" he bit into the dry bread with a slight grimace.
Wilson frowned at him.
House put the sandwich down and sighed heavily.
"She asked me if I 'liked her'" he said at last.
"And...?" pressed Wilson.
"And..." House mocked. "I said no."
Wilson's eyebrows shot up.
"You lying putz!" he chuckled.
House frowned at his friend.
"What was I supposed to say?"
Wilson chewed his salad.
"How about, 'of course, Dr. Cameron. In fact, why don't we pop into a nearby supply closet and I'll show you just how much'?" Wilson teased.
House arched a brow.
"Now... where have I heard that recently..?" his brows shot up in mock surprise, "That was you?" he joked dryly, shooting Wilson a withering look.
"I couldn't very well tell her 'yes'" House said at last.
"Why not?" Wilson questioned, "it's obviously true."
"What would you know?" House ground out, biting into the sandwich once again.
"Enough to set you up to take her to the Monster Truck Rally" Wilson smirked.
House narrowed his eyes, fixed on his friend across the table.
"You cancelled, and Cameron is a far more appealing choice than either Foreman or Chase".
"And you had a good time..." Wilson urged.
"I didn't have a bad time" House said flatly.
"But there was a fire-breathing 'Truck-a-Saurus'. The company was irrelevant".
He finished off the half a sandwich and brushed the bread crumbs from his fingers.
"But your attracted to her?" Wilson pressed.
"That's hardly a neutral question" House scoffed.
"Who's not attracted to her?" He shot a knowing look at Wilson, who did not react.
"So you admit you're attracted to her then?" Wilson smiled.
"I'll admit that she does for me what she does for every other man and I assure you it's purely chemical" House grumbled.
Wilson laughed.
"Fine. Keep lying her yourself, but you don't fool me— I've known you too long, your tricks don't work on me".
"A 'trick' is pulling a quarter out of your ear" House said flatly, "this is simply an attractive woman in front of a man who hasn't been laid in six years" he replied gruffly.
"I still don't see the problem?" Wilson continued.
"She asked if you like her, you lied, end of story. Or are you..." Wilson stifled a laugh, "regretting it?"
Wilson leaned forward, reveling in Houses' obvious discomfort.
"Got a little ache in your stomach?" he smirked.
"You know, I've been meaning to get that checked" House said dryly.
"I believe it's called your 'conscience'" Wilson said flatly.
House knit his brow.
"Damn— I thought I'd finally gotten rid of that thing."
Wilson chuckled, watching his friend out of the corner of his eye, still unconvinced.
House looked up at him.
"Ah damn. What do you want?" House demanded, frustration dripping from his voice.
"I want to know why this bothers you so much" Wilson replied.
"Since when do you care what people think? What? You told her 'no' so now she hates you?" he laughed, "Big deal".
House scoffed: "I wish" he murmured.
"Excuse me?" Wilson asked in a heightened whisper.
House looked at Wilson and shrugged.
"So, she likes me. Like you said— 'big deal'".
Wilson's eyes widened.
"You mean to tell me that that... beautiful, warm, enchanting, talented" House narrowed his eyes at Wilson, urging him to get to the point.
Wilson stopped, "charming young doctor told you she has feelings for you and you... pushed her away!" he was incredulous.
"I always knew you were a little eccentric, House, but this is full-blown insanity!"
House nodded.
"Well, I saw it coming but there was little I could do. You know how I feel about self-medicating".
Wilson stared in disbelief.
House rolled his eyes and popped a couple of vicodin.
"It doesn't matter anyway" he said dejectedly.
"She's leaving. Tomorrow's her last day."
With that, House rose, dumping the contents of his tray into the garbage and stalked off.