I felt you touch my hips and my heart stood still…my skin grew cold, Finn Hudson. I felt so very alone, but then you were there…touching me. Why? I was deeply convinced that no one would ever like me…slowly I was becoming very content with the thought of dying alone but here you've gone and changed all of that. Everything I thought I believed in, gone down the drain from every touch, kiss, caress you've given me in the past two months. What've you done to my body now? It longs for you…it begs for you to touch it, and kiss it every second you're in my sight.
Being alone is now a hard thing. Whatever room you're not in, whatever bit of you I don't see…I crave you. I crave to kiss your lips and I crave to have you inside of me again. I need you. I think I'm falling in love with you. I just want to scream to everyone how much I hate you now.
But I can't hate you my love, I can't even be angry at you and not feel guilty. I say I want to scream I hate you, but really the only thing I want to scream is about how you were driving me crazy, about how you were my first and you're the best kisser ever.
Even my father knows what you're doing to my mind. He hears me scream your name in my sleep and he knows something is wrong. He's asked me one thousand one times probably why it's your name I scream. Still I love you. I still can't shake this feeling like a warm blanket wrapped around a freezing body…so much comfort and so much warmth.
I'll take the promise to my grave that no one can fill the empty space my mother has left in my heart…but Finn Hudson you are ruining me. You're making me whole again and everything I stand for is shattered. I need you to let everyone know I love you, that you love me. Why are we a secret? Why can't I love you freely and shout in the middle of school that I love you more than air? I need you much more than air. Finn Hudson, you are my precious oxygen.