AN: this is a dumb thing I'm writing to deal with my crippling depression lol please don't hurt me, I'm just a lowly stats major with no talent for writing

There were things that even the esteemed Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise could not detect with the most thorough medical exam. Sicknesses of the brain, the turmoils of a heart—not physical, but emotional. He looked over to the patient currently lying unconscious in one of his sickbay's biobeds. When he had taken her from Scotty's arms, McCoy had instantly recognized her as the girl Jim Kirk affectionately called Goldie. Not that the girl was a ray of sunshine or anything; she wouldn't be in this situation if she was. As far as he could tell, she was quite the opposite.

He often saw her in the mess hall chatting with the captain, if she wasn't already in the company of the Chief Engineer and Keenser. But McCoy noted that her smiles never reached the corner of her eyes, her body language gave away that she was always a bit uncomfortable. Before he knew it, he had made a habit of observing the girl while he waited for Kirk to join him back at their table. McCoy guessed Jim probably wasn't talking to her to flirt and make advances. She was rather plain looking, McCoy admitted. Her short, straight black hair and makeup-less face left much to be desired, at least in the physical department. She also opted to wear the same shirt and trousers the male officers did. For an engineer, it was a logical and practical decision.

Jim seemed to enjoy his short interactions with Goldie, much to the annoyance of fellow female crew members. He would crack a dumb joke and she would cover her mouth with her hand for an awkward laugh. After they split ways, she grabbed a meal from the food synthesizer and always made it over to a small table facing a corner of the mess hall with her food and PADD in hand. McCoy wondered what she studied so intensely as she ate, though it really wasn't any of his business.

Some odd day while he and Jim sat in the mess hall where they carried conversation as usual, McCoy couldn't help but raise the topic of the mysterious girl.

"So… who's your friend back there?" he pointed over Jim's shoulder.

"Oh, that's Augustine Rand. Her name's kind of a mouthful so I just call her Goldie instead."

"That clashes with that red shirt of hers," McCoy commented.

"It's clever though!" Jim's face lit up. "Aug? August? Doesn't sound good. So I thought, how about A-U? Like the element? Get it?" He was so proud of himself.

"Yeah, yeah. But still, it's not like you to take time to hang out with just some random crew member."

Jim shrugged. "She was with Scotty one time I went to talk to him, so I figured it was only polite of me to introduce myself. She already knew who I am, obviously." He scrunched his face. "I asked her to call me Jim. 'Captain Jim,' she says."

McCoy scoffed. "Have you ever considered she might not want to talk to you? She seems kind of… uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about it Bones, Goldie's just shy. She's quiet and mostly keeps to herself but she's observant and has a lot of interesting insights. You'd enjoy talking to her too, I think. She even dabbles in a bit of medicine on the side! You two should get acquainted. Aren't you sick of being so grumpy by yourself all the time?"

"Jim, I'm not exactly pleasant company. You want me to spread my grumpiness to some undeserving girl I don't know?"

"That's my point, Bones. Get to know her!" Jim paused, a smirk forming on his face. "Then maybe you can unload something else into her if you catch my drif—" He received a smack to his head. "Ow, it was just a joke!" he complained.

McCoy threw him a dirty look. "Joke, my ass. I see what you're trying to do. Besides, why aren't YOU the one trying to work your oh so famous charm?"

"I mean, does she look like the type to go around looking for hookups? No offense. She has her nose in that PADD all the time and I'm surprised she ever socializes. Not exactly the most approachable person. Anyway, she gets regular physics like everyone else, I'm sure you could just look into her files. She's probably had to disclose that she hasn't had sex in awhile… Maybe ever," Jim's eyes widened.

"That's none of my concern."

"Oh it will be." That earned Jim another smack in the head. "Yeah, I deserved that."