I originally wrote this as a song fic for I saw goodbye in her eyes by the Zac brown band but have since realised lyrics aren't allowed unless they are public domain. I've rewritten it using the same basic plot using different John Lennon music and have deleted the other one. If anyone is interested in reading the other one PM me and I'll e-mail it to you.

Of all these friends and lovers

there is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

As Jem's lips left his fiancé's, he pressed his forehead against hers, muttering "I love you". It was a new and exciting experience for Jem, although somewhat alien, forbidden, if he said it out loud, loud enough for Tessa to hear, it might break. He loved people before but never anyone like Tessa, she made his past meaningless with the promise of their future. His mind inadvertently flashed to Will, she made his past bearable. He knew Will loved her too, and he loved Will, but as selfish as he felt Jem loved Tessa more than anything.

All about the girl who came to stay

She's the kind of girl

You want so much it makes you sorry

Still you don't regret a single day

Jem stood facing Tessa in her golden wedding dress, brown curls cascading down her back, a hesitant smile on her lips. He wanted her so much, and he knew he wouldn't regret but she would. His mind kept flashing back to the conversation he had overheard between Tessa and Sophie, earlier that day. "I love Jem" Tessa cried "but I can't bear not being with Will. If I were Catherine from Wuthering Heights, Jem would be my Edgar, the boy I'm supposed to marry, who treats me right and is well mannered. But Will, Will is Heathcliff, passion and love, the one I should really be with the one who will die missing me and I'd be willing to die just to spend a few minutes with. But what does it matter Sophie…please help me into my dress."

Jem could feel two pairs of blue eyes trained on him, waiting for his answer a simple I do. Instead he leaned into Tessa put his lips to her ear "You can't marry Edgar". He turned and walked out.

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink

I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink

I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink

No no no

I'm so tired I don't know what to do

I'm so tired my mind is set on you

Jem was sitting on the edge of his bed starring at the silver snuff box, he could feel his body withdrawing from the drug. His hands started to tremble, and his lungs began to collapse he was barely breathing. He opened the lid looking at what little he had left, in defeat he used it. In a few moments his breathing returned to normal and he regained control of his body. His box was now empty, Jem grabbed his coat and a dagger and left in search of an opium den.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Jem starred at the Yin Fen and then at the men lying on the beds at the back, he looked at the man who was handing out the little brown bags. He walked up to him asking for opium. After being sized up the man handed him a bag and directed him to a bed.

Picture yourself on a train in a station

With plasticine porters with looking glass ties

Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile

The girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Jem smiled at the girl the longer he looked at her the more he could see her eyes turn blue. A pricing blue the colour of ice, Jem was suddenly cold he sat up panicked she was freezing him, freezing him with her impossibly blue eyes and her ice chant "Cecily". "STOP IT!" Jem yelled "stop trying to freeze me, STOP IT!". She reached out to touch him, her hands brought warmth, she was giving it back giving him back his heat. He let her guide him.

I was dreaming of the past

And my heart was beating fast

I didn't mean to hurt you

I'm sorry that I made you cry

Oh no, I didn't want to hurt you

I'm just a jealous guy

Jem wasn't sure if he should go to the weeding or not, he'd been invited of course but he wasn't sure if he should go. Making up his mind he slipped in just in time to see Tessa drawing the runes on Will. Tears started to fill his eyes as he felt a warm body sit beside him and a pair of soft arms wrap around him. He turned his head to see pricing blue eyes and for a moment he thought he was looking at his parabatai, until his eyes focused on Cecily. He leaned into her arms and let her comfort him.

Spending our lives together

Man and wife together

World without end

World without end

Jem looked at Cecily, in her gold weeding dress as he said the following:

Grow old along with me
Two branches of one tree
Face the setting sun
When the day is done
God bless our love
God bless our love

Ok so I just want to let everyone know I used the following songs by John Lennon: In my life; Lucy in the sky with diamonds; Grow old with me; Girl; Women and I'm so tired.