It was a regular sunny day in Equestria.
All the little ponies were having a fun happy day
Yet somewhere in the outskirts of Ponyville, I roamed the forests
"How did I get here?" I asked myself trying to remember how exactly he got sucked into this crazy world. Yet it was all a blur.
As I was trying to remember, I suddenly tripped on something
"Oof," I said hitting the ground with a thud
I looked back to see what had tripped me.
It was a statue of some odd creature.
A chimera that had the body and left foreleg of a griffin, a lion's right foreleg and paw, the head and neck of a pony with an over-sized tooth, a goatee beard, a mismatched antlers and horns of deer and goat, asymmetrically-sized eyes, a pair of wings – one bat, one Pegasus – the left hind leg of a goat, the right hind leg of a green lizard, and the tail of a red dragon.
"Wait," I said "I know who this is. It's Discord!"
Once, I had been forced to watch an episode of "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" while babysitting my little sis. I also remembered this guy was pretty cool, for a kids show bad guy.
"Wow," I remember saying said as I touched the statue of Discord
Just then the sky became dark, and red lighting shot down from the sky and zapped the statue. When this was all over, the chaotic chimera was standing before me. In the flesh
"What the?" Discord said seeing he was freed "How can this be? I've been freed? Have the Elements been transferred again?"
"Those element of Harmony things?" I said "No I think those girly ponies still got them,"
"Who are you?" Discord asked
"I'm guessing I'm the guy that freed you," I said explaining what happened when I touched Discord
"Truly you must be a chaotic soul," Discord said
"Nah, I'm just a dude in his 20's," I said
"That makes perfect sence," Discord said
"Huh?" I said
"Everyone knows people in their late teens and early 20's have rebellious spirits that cause them do all form of impure chaos," Discord said "Your chaotic self freed me from my stone prison,"
"Your welcome," I said "I guess,"
"Now I shall once again rule Equestria and..."
"Whoa," I said
"What?" Discord said
"Think about it," I said "You go on a chaotic rampage again, then those girly ponies will come and stone you up again. Wouldn't it be smarter to steal those element things? Then destroy them and cause untold chaos and vengeance upon those ponies?"
"Wow..." Discord said "Why didn't I think of that before?"
"Cause you're a kid show bad guy," I said "Dudes like you are usually so confident in victory that they overlook some big detail. Or your just destined to loose because that's what the people who make this show want,"
So after some sneaking around, Discord and I found, stole and destroyed the Elements of Harmony
"Yes!" Discord cheered "Now I shall rule again?"
"Wouldn't it be more cool to destroy them?" I suggested "I mean what kind of bad guy wants to rule over a bunch of tiny horses?"
Discord thought about for a moment
"Ya," he said "That dose sound lame,"
"You could eat them maybe," I suggested
"GREAT IDEA!" Discord said using his magic to grow very large.
"It's lunchtime!"
Meanwhile, in PonyVille. Apple Jack was eating some apples
"Gosh I love apples," she thought
Yet just then, a giant hand picked her up
"Hello tasty morsel," Discord said "You shall be my first snack,"
"Discord?" Apple said
"Yes," Discord said then laughed evily
"But..? How?" the oragne pony said
"All thanks to this chaotic soul," Discord said pointing to his shoulder, where I was
"Hi," I said
"And goodbye," Discord said tossing Apple Jack into his mouth and swallowing her whole.
In the end the macro chimera ate all the ponies. Not even Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle could stop him.
"Burp!" Discord burped after he ate all the ponies "Gosh their were so tasty,"
"Can you make it rain chocolate milk again?" I asked "I'm kinda thirsty,"
Meanwhile, inside the belly of the evil creature
"We've got to get outta here!" Twilight Sparkle cried
Yet not even her magic, or Rainbow Dashes super speed and power could free them from the chaotic one.
Thus, all the bronies of the world then became "Discord Dudes!"
"Discord rules!" I cheered my new favorite kids show bad guy.
Discord Dudes Forever!
The End