Vicissitude

A Twoshot

The basic premise is that Sam and Dean were born in reverse order. They still have most of their original personalities, so instead of John having Dean, a responsible oldest who followed all ordered, he has Sam put under the pressure who still wants to be normal.

edit- Formerly known as "Older Brother, Younger Brother"

Sam was smart. Dean grew up knowing that he could never be as intelligent as his big brother- which irked him because Sam cared a lot about school and being normal. Dean had tried with school, he really had, but it bored him like nothing else. He couldn't handle sitting at the same desk for hours just like he couldn't get along with the other kids. He sometimes found some girls he could hang around but rarely ever, on his lifelong travels across the country, could he make nice with other boys. Dean had a smart mouth that usually got him beat up, which meant dragging Sam into things.
Sam who was good at school, and being normal.

Sam would always stand up for him but Dean didn't miss the way that he shook his head and then yelled at Dad afterwards.

Dad was strong. And loud. And Dean loved him.

He never knew if he should.

Sam was always fighting with Dad, refusing orders and arguing. His older brother always pointed out that their father was never dependable, that he was wrecking their chances of ever having a normal life, and obsessed with revenge.

Dean had never heard Sam say their father was a hero, and it'd been years since something vaguely resembling a compliment had passed through his lips. His brother got all huffy if Dean pointed out that Dad did save people's lives, always responding with how he put their lives in danger. Sam always tried to keep him away from Dad, sending him to another room or by starting another argument.
Usually an argument based on Dean himself.

Dean never knew whose example to follow. He always followed Dad's orders to the letter, much to Sam's disappointment, but didn't argue with Sam's commands either.
When the two's directions conflicted with each other he had to make a choice. Usually he chose Dad's- trying to make him slightly proud of him by demonstrating he could do what was asked of him. At least he knew Sam loved him, or rather loved to argue about him. Sometimes he chose Sam, out of loyalty. Other times he was so tired of their fighting he chose neither. That was the rarer choice but at least that way they would be equally mad at him instead of each other.

After all, Dean did deserve it.

He was the reason that his mother was dead, that Sam couldn't be normal and Dad was obsessed with revenge.

For ruining his family's lives Dean supposed that he deserved everything he got.
But it was still hard.

…

"Sammy, take Dean and get out of the house! Now!"

…

Little Dean sat at the table, clicking his heels together, unable to stay still.

"Do I haf ta eat the spettios Sammy? I won' Lucky Charms!"

"Dean," Sam gave his younger brother a look, "You just asked for Spagettios. I already made them! It's too late."

"But tha' was before I 'membered we haf Lucky Charms!" Dean nodded his head sagely as if this was an important part to a peace talk to two warring countries, "But then... I 'membered!"

He gave his big brother the smile that would eventually save his life in a particularly bad situation. Dean was an adorable kid.

However, as an older brother, Sam was used to it and his own hunger gave him immunity against his charms.

"Dean? Eat the Spagettios." Sam ordered. He got out the box of Lucky Charms and poured them all into a bowl. Dean watched hopefully, waiting for the cereal to be placed in front of him. Unfortunately, the little kid's hopes were dashed when Sam started eating it.

"Sa-am!" Dean's lower lip wibbled pathetically.

"Eat your Spagettios." Sam ordered, not one to give into the teary green eyes- especially since Dean almost always did what he was told. Like he thought, the kid started mournfully scooping the canned pasta up with an unsteady spoon. The Spagettios were more healthy for Dean anyway, Sam quelled his conscience.

…

Sam had to get away. Just- leave. His father was driving him crazy and Dean, well... Dean never understood. No matter how hard he tried, Dean never understood that it was wrong for John to treat them like he did- leave them alone for weeks with the barest minimum to get by. And now, now he was starting to drag the littlest soldier into his hunts.

Sam was used to training, he had even grown accustomed to tagging along during hunts, but he was not used to John bringing Dean as bait or 'backup'. Dean was just a kid! Too young, or too soft to even realize that having their father put his life in danger was wrong.

Dean never understood. Sam knew he tried- he listened to Sam and tried to obey him, but that was the problem! Dean always obeyed! Sam knew some of it was his fault, Sam never had the patience to let Dean do anything else, and John was the same way. They'd both convinced him that he had to do whatever they said to make them happy. Only recently, Sam had noticed that it went too far, that Dean never questioned an order. Someday, that was going to get the kid killed- and it would be John's fault.

Even when he told Dean to fight back against John, all the Winchesters could tell that his heart wasn't in it. John could silence him with a look if Dean didn't do it himself from reluctance.

Sam may have adored his little brother but wanted a fellow rebel to talk with, not a brainwashed kid who thought that having to get stitches all the way up his back wasn't Dad's fault when he left him completely defenseless on a hunt.

Dean's injuries were only going to get worse.

Sam couldn't handle that.

Not when they both should have been allowed to have normal lives. Mom would be horrified about how they'd had to grow up. Sam still remembered, only days before the tragedy, his parents had fought even then about how to raise their boys. Dads transgressions then were nothing compared with the freakshow he'd turned their lives into.

A few days later the young teenager had his own trailer with a dog.

His little brother left alone, too broken to cry.

…

Dean worked on his homework quietly, glad that it was almost summer. He knew that Sam didn't like if it was left unfinished.

His new teachers were always surprised when the loud mouthed troublemaker always turned in his work on time. Sometimes they even accused him of copying, unable to believe that a brat like him could put effort into anything. Sometimes Dean didn't bother to correct them, just gave them a smirk that told them they could never prove it.

Sam was never happy when he mouthed off in school. His older brother never seemed to understand that Dean tried to behave, but he just wasn't good with people. He wasn't intelligent and friendly like Sam, or even intimidating like Dad. Dean was never sure how to interact with civilians- people who he could never tell the truth to, innocents to protect, people with different interests, and choices.
So he tried to be friendly, like Sam. He tried to be fearless, like his father. He tried not to be condescending to all of the civilians wrapped up in their comforting truths, tried to understand the type of people that Sam thought they should be.

What came out was his frustrations- biting comments and cynicism that he couldn't stand to keep to himself anymore. Charming smiles that got him attention, as well as smirks that got him trouble. A fake apathy for the normal populace's feelings towards him. If these civilians, who he'd only have to know for a few weeks, didn't have the strength for the truth then he wasn't going to show any fake respect by putting on some kind of normal mask.

If he got in a few fights- whatever. Sam was in High-school now anyways, he didn't have a chance to fight his battles for him anyways. Sam was never happy if he found out about his brawls, but Dean hid them well and learned how to win without getting caught. It wasn't as if Dean tried to make enemies, he just didn't try not to.

Plus, even if he did get beat up, it wasn't like he hadn't had worse.

He could suffer Sam's disappointment and their father's anger because it was better than acting for seven hours, five days a week, like he could actually stand bullies. If a kid was gonna yell at him- fine, then he'd get what was coming towards him. If a group of chumps decided to pick on the short kid- again, they deserved it.

But two weeks! Two weeks until glorious summer came once more and he didn't have to worry about getting along with people or studying to make Sam happy. In fact, Sam himself graduated in a week. Everything was looking pretty good.

So when Sam and Dad started getting into it, Dean was confused. As far as he knew, he hadn't done anything that would make them get that loud. Even Dad acknowledged that getting a good grade on his finals was desirable. Unable to concentrate, he abandoned his review flip chart on early American history and crept to the open doorway.

"Stanford, Dad! I got a freakin' fullride to Stanford, don't you know what that means?!" Sam was waving a letter around.

Dean knew what Stanford meant. College. He gasped, he had never even considered that Sam would leave. Dad would never let him go. He couldn't.

"You're so selfish Sam! How can you even think about that when the thing that killed your mother is still around? And how could you leave your brother?!"

Very easily, Dean remembered. He wasn't anyone worth sticking around for, experience had taught him that.

"And how can you drag your children on your hopeless quest of revenge?! You've ruined Dean's life John! For a woman he can't even remember. Mom would have been ashamed of you!"

"Don't talk that way about Mary!"

Dean watched as they both spewed poison at each other, words so hateful Dean started to tear up. He found himself unable to speak, he felt trapped as observer- powerless and weak.
The time Sam had run away Dean hadn't been able to speak until he came back. It was a horrible feeling. He couldn't think of the right words to say, and didn't have the confidence to say the assuredly wrong ones. Even a direct order from Dad couldn't get something as simple as a 'sir'.

"IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR, DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK!" John bellowed,

Sam screwed up his face, tightened his lips together, his eyes as big and vulnerable as ever, and turned to face the door.

With an increased wave of helplessness, and an inability to trust his voice, Dean depended on the one thing he could trust- his body. Just as Sam's palm clasped the brass doorknob, he was enveloped in a tight tackle-like hug from Dean. It was childlike and useless but Dean didn't care. He didn't want his big brother to just walk out on him.

Dean had tried to be good! If Sam would stay he'd put more effort learning to get along with the people at school! He'd respect his teachers! He wouldn't fight! He'd get normal friends! Couldn't Sam see!

But Sam, Sam already with a tear rolling down his cheek, shook his head no.

"I'm sorry, Deano. If you ever need help- call me. Don't get yourself killed. Don't let John sacrifice you for a stupid monster. I love you, but I need to go." With that Sam left, not slamming the door but not closing it gently either.

"SAM! SAMMY! SAM COME BACK!" Dean wailed, but it was too late.

Apparently he wasn't good enough. Apparently, he was "ruined".

…

Sam called Dean twice from college- both birthdays.

…

Dean became silent around home and bitter around everyone else. Sir was barely ever around, Dean only saw his father when they hunted together. During school, Dean didn't even try on his best subjects.

Some of the family friends tried to help. Bobby fed Dean's interest in cars, one of the only things able to draw the kid out of his shell until he hit drinking age. Pastor Jim offered stability if Dean ever wanted it, but Dean would never take him up on it.
He obsessively threw himself into hunting, scared that if he messed up, his father would also walk out on him.

It didn't matter anyway. When Dean dropped out of school to be a better hunter (and to never be offered a full ride anywhere), John started assigning him solo hunts.

At least he had the Impala.

Maybe if he caught the monster who had killed his mother, his father would forgive him for being so...

Ruined.

…

It was Halloween and Sam was two days off from an interview with his dream job. He had the schooling, he had his perfect fiancée, and everything was looking like a perfect apple pie life.
That was until his little brother barge in during the middle of the night to ask for his help.

He'd barely even recognized Dean- it'd been eight years after all. The scrawny eighth grader had grown into a 6 foot something 22 year old.

Even if it was to help find John, Sam couldn't say no to his little brother. Really he just wanted to talk, to see what kind of man the kid had grown to be.

…

When Dean first saw Jessica, he was a little freaked out. After the fire, he really didn't want to admit to Sam that he'd been dreaming about his older brother's fiancée dying, weeks before it happened.
It made Dean feel guilty, but he could help it. He didn't want to mislead his brother but if he told him, Sam would surely leave again. Dean couldn't stand being alone again.

…

Sam was horrified that Yellow Eyes had preformed some satanic ceremony on his little brother. He didn't care if it had technically made Dean part demon, but he hated that this evil was just another person who wanted to order him around. Dean didn't need that. As socially awkward as his brother already was, after their Dad's death, Dean had finally started to loosen up again.

Dean wouldn't obey a demon, especially the one who killed their parents.

Of course, Sam hadn't ever had the heart to tell Dean that John didn't share his confidence. But Sam had never obeyed their father, and wasn't about to listen when he said to kill Dean.

"You won't win."

…

"Why should I trust you? You're nothing but a black eyed demon!" Dean was tempted to shank her with her own knife but somehow he couldn't find the motivation. Not with Sam's soul where it was.

"We can bring Sam back." Ruby whispered breathlessly,

"How? I've tried! Not a single crossroads demon will even speak to me. Why are you any different?"

"Because we both have a score to settle."

…

He still wouldn't drink demon blood. He may be weak, worthless, and ruined but he wasn't that far gone.

He had to switch hotels before the body was found.

…

When Sam came back, Dean was greatful. He even tried to be pleasant to the angels.

Apparently he was an abomination.

A ruined human, an abomination.

…

Sam, had always been in awe of the angels. It didn't take much for him to say yes to Michael. He said yes before he found out that Dean was supposed to be Lucifer's vessel.

…

Dean never said yes, couldn't say dead, and had absolutely no self worth left. He had convinced Cas to help him try to prevent the apocalypses foretold conclusion, but neither of them had much hope. Team Free Will as it was called also gained Gabriel, the archangel who surprisingly wasn't a trickster, Bobby, and with reluctance Dean also let Crowley, a demon, in since times were just that desperate.
As long as he continued saying no to Lucifer, the devil wouldn't win, but Dean didn't particularly want the angel wearing his brothers skin to win paradise either.

..

Talking to Chuck was illuminating. Apparently, Dean was really the Michael Sword- not Sam. The birth order and the blood lined up, but the personality types were too dissimilar.

He couldn't believe that he, the abomination, could be anything other than Lucifer's but in some ways, he was comforted.

When Dean put that together with Crowley's ring key to the Cage, he came up with a plan. An impossible, one in a million plan.

…

It was the biggest trick in the history of tricks. No wonder why Gabriel consented to helping.

Dean said "Yes!"

Yes to the angel who thought that he was their true vessel. Michael had been informed of the truth by his brother and Lucifer had been miraculously been kept in the dark.

With a rush, both beings tried to possess Dean, too busy and confused to notice the rings that had been dropped on the cemetery ground. As the brothers fought for dominance, Dean let the loss of his balance suck him into the now swirling pit.

…

Sam stumbled to the car, stunned at the recent events. He let himself fall into the passenger seat.
Dean.

This was Dean's car, and Dean wasn't here anymore. Dean had just saved the world and he didn't have his car anymore. Dean was his little brother, and he didn't have his little brother anymore just his car.

Sam couldn't stop the tears that streamed from his eyes. Didn't want to either. He had lost his little brother. Not Dad. It wasn't Dad's fault. Sam had messed up, and now his little brother had to pay for it.

On the dashboard, there was a small note in Dean's handwriting. Sam snatched it up, expecting to to be something like a grocery list. Instead, it read thus-
"Sam,
Was that enough rebellion for you? I wish that I could have been a better brother. I'm sorry for everything.
-Dean Winchester"

A/N: Wow... that ended on a depressing note. Sorry for any weird stuff in the text itself- I wrote this on my phone will having a fever, so their you go. I tried to fix the spelling issues and grammer but knowing me, I probably missed some too. I don't think I'll continue this. I suppose I could- Either by continuing forward or elaborating some of the parts I skimmed by. I don't even know if anyone's interested.

Also, I hope I didn't portray Sam too harshly or Dean to angst-ily. Dean is different because he was pretty much raised by two different John's with polar opposite values. Without Dean to lean on, Sam didn't grow up with the support that cannon!Sam did. Instead, Dean becomes a target of complication. Dean isn't sure which figure in his life to latch on too, not with Sam always badmouthing John and John never wanting to be around. He tries his hardest to make them both happy but it rarely succeeds because they are both too similar as well as too different. Also, as Dean was never given even responsibility, he has nothing else to base himself on. He may have been good at hunting but Sam disliked it, and he tried to work on school but John didn't care. Basically the kid grew up not being able to do anything right. Sam on the other hand couldn't stand the pressure, was protective enough over Dean to make him an argument, but not responsible enough to actually help him instead of getting mad and leaving. Hopefully, my choices and the reasoning's behind them could be obtained from the story- but if not, here you go.

Also, has anyone else seen any fics with this premise? I'm curious how other authors have portrayed older!Sam and younger!Dean, if it's ever happened before. Although, I presume it has because this fandom does about everything...

Anyways, thanks for reading! I'd appreciate reviews as well, but I'll understand if you don't. Bye!