Listen, this is my first fic, so please be gentle!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all *sigh* Harry Potter and the whole gang belong to J.K. Rowling

Summary:

Harry Potter has been waiting patiently for two years anticipating the arrival of the fifteenth year of his life. He finally gets fed up and decides to take matters into his own hands….

Everything with a ~* is what Harry is typing.

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Waiting…and Waiting...and Waiting…

It was another ordinary day at Privet Drive…in fact there had been two years worth of the same ordinary day over and over again. Harry Potter sat in his room gazing out the window, hoping for an owl to swoop in with a letter for him. A loud "tut tut" from Hedwig reminded him that this wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Harry glanced at his once-beautiful owl that now was starting to resemble a large pillow due to lack of exercise. Harry suddenly stood up so fast that even Hedwig got dizzy and announced, "I've got an IDEA!" Hedwig just rolled her large amber eyes and proceeded to her 5th nap that day. "You may not have faith in me," shouted Harry to no one in particular, "But I know just what to do!!!"

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Harry sat down in front of Dudley's old computer and thought of what he was about to do. The computer was no longer broken thanks to the old 'Repairus' charm (he had managed to convinced the Dursleys that his wand was merely a homemade friend of his, appropriately named "Stick"). He took a deep breath and began to type.

~*Harry's Fifth Year

Chapter 1: The Dream

Harry Potter, the boy who lived, awoke with a start.

Harry looked at his screen with disgust "I just need to spice it up a bit" he said once again talking to himself.

~*Harry Potter the really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking boy who lived awoke with start.

'Much, Much, better' thought Harry smugly.

~*He had just had another nightmare, the same one he had been having for so long. The vivid images replayed in his head over and over. He would never again think of marshmallow PeepsÓ the same way again.

Harry shuddered as the memory resurfaced, yet he continued to type.

~*He shook his head and walked over to the mirror and stared at his reflection. In fact it was hard not to stare, considering how hot he was. He began to sing his own rendition of "I'm Too Sexy" to himself "I'm too sexy for my broom, too sexy for my broom… yea zoom zoom…I'm too sexy for Quidditch too sexy for Quidditch…" he stopped singing as he suddenly remembered his slightly less handsome than him best friend, Ron Weasley.

Tan and freckly Ron had always been there for Harry even though he was considerly less popular than Harry was.

Harry wiped away a tear as the thought of Ron wafted through his mind. "I've got to keep going!" he decided, and once again began to type.

~*The memory of Ron stirred a memory of Hermione and Harry was saddened once again. He missed that girl with her enchanting smile, her beautiful eyes, and her great legs. Hermione was always there for Harry that is unless he wanted her to do his homework for him. A sudden tapping sound brought him back to reality as he walked over to his window. A tall, gangly redhead and a skinny brunette were looking up at him.

"Harry!" shouted Hermione, "Ron and I have come to get you!"

" Best hurry mate!" added Ron, "the limo's a-waitin'!"

"A limo??" yelled Harry, "How'd you get a limo?"

"We won the wizard lottery, now HURRY UP!!" said Ron who was getting very impatient. Harry hurriedly grabbed his trunk jumped out of the window. This would've been very stupid if Harry was a normal boy, but he wasn't normal. He was a wizard, and a very handsome one at that.

Harry sat back and admired his handi-work. He'd start chapter two tomorrow, right now he had a lot more of gazing out the window to do.

Sooooooooooo………Do you like? I hope so!!!!! This is a parody, please don't be offended, and I know it's a little OOC but I like how it turned out.

If you liked it PLEASE REVIEW, if you didn't like it PLEASE REVIEW anyway!

I love you all! I will continue if I get at least 10 reviews, its no use writing something that no one reads!