A/N: Okay so the first few chapters are set between civil war with a twist. I was going to give a detailed description of how he gets to the point he's at but I figured that we should just jump right in so I'm just going to give a quick recap before the story begins. Enjoy! P.S. They're will be times they speak in Xhosa the language of Wakanda I will try and be as accurate as google translate will allow but if I make a mistake I apologize.I will also put the English translation in bold parentheses. Last but not least to clear up the burning question yes killmonger will be in this story but not as you think.
Being the black panther means that sometimes you get feelings that won't go away. You're not sick but you don't know what's going on. T'challa feels that way in the wake of him and his father going to Vienna for the Sokovia Accords. He wants to tell his father but he fears that he'll be seen as weak in his eyes as he sometimes struggles with feeling worthy enough to be the black panther and one day king.
He goes to talk to his mother as she is very understanding with her eldest child. She tells him that he is the black panther and that his father is an understanding man and will listen especially if T'challa feels so strongly about this.
He kisses his mother on the cheek thanking her before heading off to his fathers chambers too consumed in his thoughts he doesn't see his little sister Shuri on her vibranium hover board bumping into her. He chastised her a little partly joking partly serious telling her to watch where she is going. "Nguwe othe wambetha umzalwana wam othandekayo" (It is you who bumped into me my dear brother) she replied in the wakandan language Xhosa before laughing.
He didn't reciprocate too lost in his thoughts to respond. Sensing this Shuri grasped his hand "Oko kukukhathaza umzalwana oyintanda" (what is troubling you dear brother). T'challa looks at Shuri she may only be thirteen but she understood a lot "UBawo ubelokhu engqondweni yam kungekudala ukuze uhambo lwethu e-UN ndiloyiko lokuba usemngciphekweni omkhulu"(Father has been on my mind lately more so our trip to Vienna I fear that he is in grave danger).
Shuri looked to her brother and saw nothing but strength "Uyi-panther omnyama omkhulu kwaye uza kwenza ubaba omkhulu ukumkani uya kuqonda" (you are the great black panther and you will make a great king father will understand).
T'challa gave her a proud smile "nini na udadewethu omncinci wayenobulumko kangaka" (when did my little sister become so wise). "Ndandinomfundisi omkhulu" (I had a great teacher) she responded looking at him with pride "Ndingahamba nawe ukuba ungathanda" (I can go with you if you like) she offered sensing his nervousness. "Akukho nto okumele ndijamelane yedwa" (No this is something I must face alone).
T'challa hugs his sister having stalled the conversation with his father long enough before heading to the royal chambers. His father sat reading the reports sent by the border tribe; T'challa knocked before entering crossing his arms in an "x" shape as a sign of respect to his father the king. T'chaka stands imitating the motion back before allowing his son to have the floor. "Father I come to you not as the black panther but as your son; I fear that you will be in grave danger if we travel to Vienna for the Accords" T'chaka looked at his son not as his king but as his father.
T'challa continued "I know I am the black panther who will one day be king when Bast calls you to the Great Plains and I know that I should not be afraid but this feeling I- I pray to Bast I am wrong" his father looks at him once more before speaking "My son you are the black panther heir to the throne of Wakanda but a great King doesn't rule on training alone, I've had doubts before my son you are not weak" T'challa looked down ashamed to feel as he did.
"Look at me my son" T'challa obeyed that may be his father but he was still the king "If you feel this strongly then we will not go" T'challa bowed to his father thanking him before leaving. Upon his exit he ran into his younger brother N'Jadaka or as he preferred to be called Erik since his short time in America.
-Flashback-
A few years after T'challa was born T'chaka was enticed by another giving birth to his second born son N'Jadaka. He couldn't let the other tribal leaders find out about this shameful infidelity so he sent his second newborn N'Jadaka to live with his brother N'Jobu in Oakland who was there on an outreach mission with a young Zuri. Skip ahead to when N'Jadaka is about nine N'Jobu gets killed for trying to sell vibranium weapons and attempting to shoot Zuri. T'chaka takes his son back home to Wakanda but speaks of him as if he was his nephew to keep up the appearance of that lie all those years ago. N'Jadaka's mother is long gone she died giving birth to him but Ramonda treats him like her own if only she knew the truth. T'challa knows about Erik being his brother as he overheard his fathers talk with Zuri upon their return those many years ago but he never asked about it or told Erik.
- End flashback-
"Yo T what's up" said Erik in his American accent which he always used to get T'challa to laugh but today it didn't seem to be working. "I had a talk with Baba about the Accords something feels off about them." Erik laughed "you really think they trying to help us it's a rouse to make us comfortable then they're going to enslave us all". Erik was always one for being in tuned and outspoken when it came to politics maybe it was because of their late Uncle N'Jobu and his short time in America who was to say but his statement didn't make T'challa feel any better. "Cheer up bro;what's really got the big cat so down" Erik smirked referring to T'challa being the black panther.
T'challa sighed and slid down the wall. "I feel that I am weak that there should be no doubts in my mind because great warriors and Kings do not doubt they lead" he put his head in his hands Erik's demeanor changing from playful to concerned in seconds he sat down next to his brother bringing T'challa's head to his side hugging him the best he could.
T'chaka hearing commotion peaked out of his chambers and smiled at the sight. "Listen bro your the panther something I'm never going to be hell I don't even think I'll get to be king thanks to my father but all that doesn't matter I'm happy to stand by your side through it all your father wouldn't have picked you if you weren't ready". T'challa looked up and whispered " There is a chance you could be king I just pray to bast it never happens"he chuckles. Erik heard him and slapped his arm grinning "Bast don't listen to him" he whispered back grinning the desolate mood lightened even if only for a moment. T'chaka quietly closed his door as to not be spotted by his sons before smiling to himself.
Days later it's the day of the Accords but T'challa and his father would not be attending they have asked that the documents be sent to them instead. T'chaka valuing his sons fears and thoughts enough to listen. They watched the Accords in his chambers when suddenly that feeling in T'challa's chest came back the room seemed smaller to him and he couldn't breathe; as if on que a bomb exploded killing people in its wake. T'challa's father was set to be on that stage when the bomb went off;had T'challa just saved his father or had he put him at an even greater risk.