Syrio Forel, the first sword of Braavos, clenched his teeth as one of the Lannister soldiers managed to land another blow. It was only a graze across his back but they were beginning to add up. He spun around and slapped the Lannister soldier across the helm with what remained of the blade his practice sword. The soldier looked daze for a moment before he fell to the floor in a heap. He had only risen moments before and was now back on the ground. It was how Syrio managed to stay alive for so long. Meryn Trant had tried to go for the finishing blow when Syrio was distracted by his men and had been forced to back off when Syrio had knocked them all to the ground. It gave Syrio a brief respite to catch his breath and he was thankful for that. He grinned at the Kingsguard standing before him now.

"What's the matter Ser Meryn? Is the First Sword of Braavos more trouble than you thought?" He was back on his stance and stared into Trant's helmeted eyes even as he checked on the men he had knocked down. They still held their swords in their hands and he hadn't dared go for another one. Trant had almost taken his head off when he had tried.

"Foreign scum!" the Kingsguard shouted at him. "Get up you worthless shits!" he shouted to the men lying around him even as he kicked one with an armored boot.

"Ah so you truly can't fight me without their help."

"Quiet!"

"You will have to do that yourself Ser Meryn. The First Sword of Bravos only listens to his lord." Syrio turned his head to see the last man behind him as he heard his armor pieces hit against one another as they moved.

It was too late for him to do anything but block the first strike though and the man simply barreled into him. the armored man knocked the wind out of the First Sword of Bravos and even as he was trying to get it back he managed to see Ser Meryn raise his sword to cleave his head in two. He used his legs to throw himself to the side and shoved the man who had knocked him down away at the same time. He kicked up to his feet and almost cursed when he didn't have his only weapon in his hand. The remains of the practice sword were on the ground near where he had fallen. Right by Ser Meryn's boot. The Kingsguard saw this and grinned under his helmet before bringing his foot up and down on the piece of practice equipment. He stomped on it over and over again with glee until only splinters remained. The Lannister men got back to their feet with more assured looked on their faces. Seeing the Braavoosi disarmed of his only weapon. They started to jeer and taunt him now that the fear of being sent to the ground wasn't there. They branched out to encircle him as they had done before when the girl was still with him.

"Grab him!" Ser Meryn shouted and the men lunged forward to obey.

They mobbed him and even though he tried to fight, it was useless. The men outnumbered him and that meant they had far more strength than him. He fought them all the way and eventually they wrestled him from the ground to his knees as Trant approached them. An all too amused grin on his face as he sheathed his sword.

"I'm going to enjoy this Braavosi." Syrio's head reeled back from the first hit before a Lannister soldier held it in place. "More if the wolf bitch was still here."

Syrio ignored his title for Arya and the thought of her safe and away from this brought a smile to his face. Even as he was being assaulted by Trant's armored fist he was glad the girl was away from him. Syrio Forel would never let a man like this lay his hands on Lord Stark's youngest daughter. The girl had run as he had bid her to and had found her way to men loyal to her father or someplace else safe. The girl was resourceful. Far too resourceful to be caught by men like this.

'Syrio's helpless here folks. Trant has got him right where he wants him!'

'He deserves it. He should've handed her over.'

'No one would.'

'I would've 'cause to save him now it'll take a miracle.'

'With the Lannisters things like miracles don't happen though.'

'Maybe this'll teach 'em and all the others to not challenge the guys who sign your paychecks.'

'We need some help out here right now! They'll kill him!'

'I say it's what he deserves. H's got no business in what the Lannisters do.'

The pain bringing voices to Syrio's head was new to him. The voices seeming to have a conversation about what was happening was even weirder.

"Syrio!"

His eyes widened and Trant stopped his assault to look towards the new arrival. Arya Stark had returned with her own sword drawn. Syrio cursed to the Many-faced-god at her actions and tried to get free again. He couldn't let these men get a hold of her.

"Grab her!" Ser Meryn commanded the men who weren't busy holding Syrio.

Syrio struggled against the men holding him down as others advanced on Arya with Trant among them. He seemed to have entirely forgotten about Syrio with a new prize in sight. Syrio tried to gain momentum using his legs but the Lannister soldiers had those restrained as well. He was helpless and could only watch. A rage unlike any other overtook him when Trant waved off the laughing soldiers and drew his own sword to fight Arya.

"Let's see what you've got girl."

"So you would fight a child but not the First Sword of Braavos Ser Knight!" Syrio shouted at him hoping to insult his pride and return his attention to him.

"What do we say to the god of death?" Arya asked Trant as she slowly backed up back towards the entrance of the room.

"Doesn't matter."

"We say 'Not today'!" Arya shouted as she charged Trant.

Ser Meryn laughed at her attempt and let his armor take the blow from her sword. It didn't break through it and he shoved the girl to the ground at the shocked look on her face. She hadn't let go of her sword but the confidence that was in her eyes disappeared as she quickly backpedaled back where she had come from.

"Let the others handle her lads!" he called out to them as he laughed and he turned back towards Syrio. "Now let's see how much more I can do to you before they bring her to me."

'God Arya never stood a chance!'

'She had no business in the ring. She's a spoiled brat and deserved what she got.'

'How can you say that? Syrio's her teacher and her friend. I'm appalled to know you think that way.'

'Not my fault the kid's stupid. All that cold up North ruined her head.'

The others in the room turned their heads to the sky as the voices talked and Syrio spoke what they were all thinking.

"You hear them too right?"

"Yes." Ser Meryn answered hesitantly. Other mummers of agreement followed.

"Good thought that I was going crazy."

Suddenly the beginning of a song no one had heard before. Some string instrument seemed to be playing but none of them had heard it before. Whatever it was though they still found themselves nodding their heads to it. Some otherworldly force making excitement stir within them. The lyrics soon followed.

"When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside..."

Arya came back, guiding a man who was dressed in the strangest attire anyone, including Syrio who had traveled the Free Cities, had seen. He had a confused look on his face even as he let Arya guide him into the room. She was frantic in her efforts to bring him into the room though and he followed her out of what could drive a girl to need him with such urgency. Once he saw what was happening in the room, something awakened within him. Something that hadn't been seen in years yet the songs and ballads composed for it had not stopped. A fire was visible in his eyes and he looked towards the girl for direction.

'Oh my god she's got Hogan! She went and got the cavalry and boy can she pick 'em!'

'This is an outrage! The man has no business here!'

'Shut up! You were fine with the Lannister's having an advantage and the moment things look better you call cheating!'

''Cause it is!'

Arya wasted no time at the voices bickering though as she pointed to Meryn Trant and the Lannister men.

"Them! They hurt my friends and me!"

"Don't worry little Hulkamaniac. Me and my twenty four inch pythons are here and ready to help!"

Hogan ripped the shirt from his chest and charged the nearest stunned Lannister soldier with an outstretched arm.

"I don't under…" the soldier never got to finish because he collided with Hogan's 24 inch python. The force of such a collision with such an unrelenting force sent the man spinning head over heel in the air before he crashed down onto the ground face first. He started to gather himself and get back to his feet before his arms suddenly gave out beneath him. Hogan placed a triumphant foot on the man's back as he curled his arms across his chest. The power from his mighty 24 inch pythons causing a strong wind to whip around and against the Lannister soldiers, many using their arms to shield their faces from the wind.

'By the Seven did you see that?! Did you see that!?He almost took his head off!'

'Yeah I saw it! I saw that cheapshot! Poor guy didn't even see it coming. Just wait until Ser Meryn gets his hands on this bastard!"

'Yeah Ser Meryn's going to be a lot of help against that. I hope Ser Meryn's got all his affairs in order.'

'Ser Meryn's going to destroy him.'

"What the Seven Hells is he?" one soldier shouted as they backed away from the man who had just laid out one of their own with a move none of them had seen before.

"I don't know! I don't know!"

"Well I know what you all will be if you don't get past him and grab the Stark bitch! Dead!"

"We aren't ready for this Ser Meryn!"

"I'll show you ready." Trant growled as he shoved the soldier towards the man.

The soldier didn't even have time to react before his face met the bottom of Hogan's raised boot. He joined his compatriot on the floor after they had been introduced.

"That's no way to talk to the little Hulkamaniac brother! I can't let that slide!"

"The seven hells are you talking about!"

"Watch it brother!" Hogan commanded with a warning in his eyes.

"Get the crazy bastard!" he commanded as the Lannister soldiers rushed forward, knowing Trant would simply push them forward if they didn't do it themselves.

Hogan threw left and rights at them, each one knocking a soldier to the ground. He grabbed one soldier by the top of his helmeted head and brought his fist back slowly, measuring the punch for maximum power as everyone looked one powerless to do anything under his sheer aura. Hogan launched his fist forward with all the power his 24 inch pythons could offer and the Lannister soldier went soaring over the floor, the balcony, and out the room, into the city below.

'Oh my god! Did you see that!'

'Yeah I saw that cheapshot! Shame on you Hogan! Shame!'

'I say that was the fairest shot any Lannister ever saw!'

Hogan laid out the other Lannister soldiers easily and some seemed to fall without him having touched them. The sheer aura of power he put out being enough to send them to the ground. Then finally there was only himself and Meryn Trant. Arya helped Syrio over to the steps to watch the clash as Trant's lips pulled back in disgust at the mere sight of Hogan.

"What is some filthy bastard like you even doing here?"

"I told you to watch your language brother!"

"Or what?" Trant demanded as he unsheathed his sword and held it at the ready in front of him. The idiots on the floor had somehow forgotten about the weapons at their sides. He hadn't though and knw exactly how he would end this fight. He sent a smile at the girl and Syrio that made him shield her behind his injured body. "You're going to try those fancy moved on me."

'I'm not sure Trant knows what he's doing here.'

'First off it's Ser Meryn for you and everyone else. Second off he's got a bloody sword! Hogan can parade around with those pythons of his all he wants but a swords beat 'em.'

'I'm not so sure about that.'

'No right now there a few certainties in life. Firs, a Lannister always pay their debts. Second, Ser Meryn's going to beat Hogan right now.'

"I'm warning you one last time brother!"

'He's warning him!'

'He should be asking Ser Mrryn to let him off easy! Matter of fact he should get down on his knees and beg Ser Meryn to forgive him!'

Neither man paid the voices any mind anymore. They slowly circled each other, waiting for the other to strike first. Ser Meryn was the first man to move. He came out Hogan with his sword rising up over his head to lodge it in his collarbone. The man didn't wear any armor, not even Dornish leather, and would pay for it. Hogan dodged to the right far too quick than a man of his size should've been able to. Hogan's face briefly became the Mountain's helmet before he shook his head to banish the illusion. Trant stopped his sword before it hit the floor and brought it towards Hogan's side, trying to cleave him into upper and lower halves. Hogan stepped back to dodge the attack and the wild look came in his eyes again. The look that had frozen him before was back. This time it didn't though. He moved forward with his sword trying to impale Hogan. He would follow him if he tried to dodge and get him this time.

Hogan saw what through Trant's plan was and stepped towards him while angling his body to avoid the thrust, Trant was easily turning it into a slash though. Hogan used an overhead axe handle strike into Trant's forearms to knock the sword out of his hands. Trant quickly backed away from Hogan after the attack, bewilderment in his eyes. He wore armored gauntlets and somehow the strike had still hurt him. Hogan should be holding his hands in pain.

'Trant's trap didn't work! It didn't work and Hogan made him pay for it!'

'Hogan only has the advantage right now because he hasn't ever fought someone like Hogan before. Seven hells I don't think anyone has.'

"What the seven hells are you?" he demanded.

"I'll tell you what I am brother! I'm who this little Hulkamiac came to find when you attacked her friend! I can't turn a little Hulkamaniac away brother!"

"You're a sellsword? I can promise you double, no triple whatever the Starks are paying you!"

"No brother, I'm Hulk Hogan and there's no way I'm going to let you get away with what you've done brother! I can hear all the Hulkamiacs calling out to me, all the little dudes and dudettes want me to beat you brother! I won't let 'em down."

Trant lowered his hands back to his sides and wished his sword wasn't behind Hogan now. He still had his dagger but he needed to be closer to use it. He kicked one of the men near him to see if he would wake up and cursed when he didn't even stir. He saw the girl ad foreigner were still watching the fight with rapt attention even if he had threatened them and the foreigner looked like he would rather see the girl somewhere else. It was like a lightbulb going off in Trant's head. The girl! If he could grab her he could get out of here.

Hogan saw his plan too late and when Meryn ran to them he thought he was trying to run away first. It was only when he saw him shove Syrio away and reach for Arya without heading up the steps did he know what was going on. Arya shouted for him to leave her alone as she kicked his outstretched hand and when that didn't work she aimed for his face. His helmeted took the brunt of the blows and the girl managed to knock it off his head before he grabbed the foot and pulled her towards him. He hoisted her up with one arm holding her in place in front of him and the other grabbing his dagger. Hogan stopped dead in his tracks once he saw the dagger to Arya's throat.

'Look at Trant's dirty trick! Look at it!'

'It's called seizing an opportunity you damn fool! Ser Meryn saw a chance to end this fight and he took it.'

'He's holding a knife to Arya Stark's throat. That's no way to win a fight!'

'Yeah well Ser Meryn doesn't care about what you think. He cares about winning.'

'That's still a dirty trick!'

"Let her go brother! Let her go!"

"I'll let her go." Trant was backing up the steps now. "I'll let her go when I see Queen Cersei and not a moment sooner."

"Let. Her. Go." Hogan's entire body was shaking in rage as he watched the little Hulkamaniac be carried away.

"Go to seven hells!"

Trant had won. He could get the Stark girl to Queen Cersei and be done with this. He didn't have to deal with any of this anymore. He could see the gold the Queen would give him for this and could retire from the Kingsguard if he wanted to. His future was literally in his hands and he was happy at what he saw to come.

All that shattered when he felt a pain in his arm. He shouted out in pain as the Stark girl saw her opportunity and got away from him and towards the one who had just stabbed him. Syrio grin was from ear to ear as he pulled Needle free from Trant's arm. He had aimed for the elbow joint and was happy to see his work as the lower arm of Trant's golden armor was slowly being painted red with his blood. Arya and he somehow managed to pull his broken and bruised body away from Trant before he could lash out in revenge. Trant gingerly held his arm in his hand as he seethed in fury. At the last second the Stark girl had gotten away. He cursed everything he knew and turned to flee the room and away from anything else. He found his way barred by Stark men who pointed their bloodied swords at him. He turned around to look at Hogan who had begun to pace on the floor, furiously shaking his arms and head up and down.

'The old gods and the new, he's Hulking up! He's Hulking up! Trant's in for it now!'

'Get out of there Ser Meryn! Get out of there and don't look back!'

'It's too late for that!'

'Gods help that brave knight.'

Hogan's head turned to look at him. His shaking stopping as he raised one arm into the air with a single finger outstretched. His body straightened and he seemed to suck in a massive breath, a breath that stole all the noise from the room. Dead silence would precede his announcement. Hogan's hand reached its apex and Trant could only look on dumbfounded. He couldn't move. He should be trying to tear through the Stark guards and make for the Queen. He couldn't move. His feet wouldn't obey him. His lungs seemed like they had forgotten how to breathe. Hogan had stolen his breath from him with his own. Syrio had stolen his future. He had been robbed of everything. His eyes went to Hogan's outstretched finger and he saw it as a harbinger of doom. The finger shook in the sky with all the power of a storm as he stared at it. The end all, be all. Armies would tremble at the sight of this finger and he only found himself not trembling, because his fear had paralyzed him.

Hogan brought the finger down and all was silent for less than a second as the impact of what had just been done was observed by all. Everything stopped but Hogan as his voice exploded into the silence with a single word.

"YOU!" the heavens opened, oceans drained away, mountains split asunder, and Trant felt like he was already dead when Hogan shouted the word.

He was a dead man now and was going to at least go down fighting. Let them sing songs and ballads of how Ser Meryn charged into the abyss. His first strike was blocked and Hogan delivered one of his own, stunning Trant as his body unwillingly turned and he tried to get his bearing back. Hogan wasn't done with him though. He grabbed Trant's white cloak and spun him around to face him. Another right landed and Trant was almost unconscious on his feet. He felt Hogan let him go and saw his back through blurry vision. He looked to be moving away from him and Trant counted his blessings. He vowed to become a brother of the faith in repentance of his actions under the Queen's orders.

Hogan turned around, launching himself off of some object with new force added. Trant couldn't see anything other than Hogan's boot when he drew close enough. It felt like his head would fly off at the force behind Hogan's foot and he found himself falling. He didn't hit the floor and was instead caught by the Stark men who had originally blocked his path. They threw him back, dead on his feet as he was, to Hogan who grabbed him and lifted him into the air. His armored form seemed to be nothing to Hogan as he brought him over his head before slamming him into the ground.

Hogan looked to Arya for approval on whether or not he should follow through with that last move and Arya smiled as she nodded her head with a thumb up. Hogan ran away from Trant's prone form, hopped over it, and hit the force none of them could see but him. He came back at Trant and as he drew nearer he prepared the most powerful move in his arsenal. He had looked to Arya for approval and she had given it. He didn't doubt the girl in her judgement of character and what he saw from Trant had warranted the move. Hogan delivered the leg drop to Trant and saw as the force from the move rushed through the man. Hogan's leg kept Trant in place so that he didn't move but they all felt the power of the leg drop.

The Stark men didn't know what took over them but they found themselves counting to three out loud with Arya's voice being the loudest of them all.

'He hit him with the leg drop! He hit him with the leg drop! By the gods it's over! It's over!'

'That was uncalled for and you know it! Hogan should be arrested.'

'Coming here with a dozen soldier was uncalled for!'

'They thought they were fighting a sword master and came prepared.'

'I say Hogan evened the odds.'

'You can call it whatever you want. Hogan stuck his nose into something that wasn't his business and he'll pay for it.'

Hogan stood back to his feet and found the Stark men helping Syrio to his own. They helped him to stand in front of Hogan and he managed to get one of his arms from around their shoulder and held out the hand to Hogan.

"I thank you my friend."

"Nothing to it brother." Hogan said as he clasped the hand. "I'm always here to help."

"You have me in your debt good sword." Syrio would've bowed to the man but the Stark soldier keeping him up held him in place. "Now perhaps I can let my rescuer thank you."

Arya came running up to him and Hogan deftly caught her before placing her on his shoulder.

"That was amazing. You beat him even without a sword."

"I would've been fine had he not broken my wooden one."

"He did it without one."

"Lady Stark we need to get out of here. I know not of what has happened to your father but things are not safe here."

"Are you telling me the little Hulkamiancs dad's in trouble?" Hogan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We have not received any word from those who had accompanied him so we assume so."

"Well then let's go and help him."

Hogan didn't wait for anything more as he strode out of the room with Arya on his shoulder and the rest of the guards following.

"Hulkamania's running wild brother!" Hogan threw his head back and shouted when a group of Lannister soldiers came into view.

"All over you!" Arya took up the rest of the cry as she pointed Needle at him.

"Hulkamania's running wild!" the rest of the Stark guards and Syrio shouted as Hogan attacked.

AN : Well that happened. I'm not really sure where it came from but hopefully you enjoyed it. Expect more to come and leave any suggestions you want to see. And yeah before anyone thinks this is actually serious, it's pure crack.

P.S. Inspired by Laying the Smackethdown : Uzumaki Style by Vesvirus.