Written as a present to myself for my birthday! Enjoy, teehee!

Rated M for later chapters.

Ron had thumped her on the back – for the billionth time during their conversation with Harry. Hermione mentally reminded herself to not be surprised to see Ron's red handprints on her back and all over her shoulder the next morning. Ron's grip was positively bruising.

Great, she was marked – but not in a romantic way (love bites, etc.), sadly.

"Yeah, man, you're right!" Ron laughed at what Hermione had said, following his hard thumps.

There was that word, again. Man.

Honestly, does she look like a man? Does she talk or act like one? Hermione huffed indignantly in her head.

"But," Hermione said immediately shook off Ron's painful ministrations, to add "I honestly thought that the Harpies actually stood a chance against Cannons, you know, what with the close call with the snitch."
"No, man!" Harry protested passionately, accidentally sloshing some of his wine in the process.

This time, Hermione was sure she flinched visibly.
Harry paid no notice. Instead, he continued defending the Cannons' victory but Hermione tuned him out, and stole glances at her friend and Harry's current fiancée, Ginny Weasley and Ron's current girlfriend, Lavender Brown.

There they were, perched at the dining table in The Burrow, giggling heinously at something the other had said and making gentle waves with their hands as they tried to describe something. Hermione looked them both over – Ginny with her flaming red hair falling gracefully down her back, Lavender's blonde tresses shaping her lovely face … both were wearing effeminate colours, Ginny was wearing a pastel pink dress that showed off her curves greatly (or lack thereof, but Hermione didn't want to be mean), and Lavender was wearing, ironically, a lavender blouse that also fitted her form nicely and tight jeans that showed off her rather well-endowed bottom.

Hermione caught her own reflection at mirror not too far from her and she looked at herself. She had tamed her curly chestnut curls, it was no longer frizzy, and she had miraculously developed a rather girly fashion sense after leaving Hogwarts. If anything, she was a woman with womanly bits – the only thing puzzling her until this day (even her prodigious brain can't seem to figure it out), is the fact that every man, especially her best friend Harry and the other best friend slash ex-boyfriend Ron, seem to treat her like a man. The way they speak to her, the way they see her … It was as if she was the only one who sees herself as she is – a woman, and that everybody else sees her as a man … a guy … a dude!

She doesn't even possess a certain part of anatomy on a male that would categorise her as a man, for crying out loud! Well, two, if you include the prominent Adam's apple. And oh yes, a shallow mind-set.

While staring at the ladies in contempt (where had that come from?) she noticed Ron had disappeared from her side to go talk to Lavender, and was now busy caressing her face gently as she pouted and protested weakly at something Ron had said, making Ron grin fondly in return.

She fumed at the sight.

Of course she was jealous. Of course she wanted to be in Lavender's place. Of course she still wanted Ron – after their messy breakup because of his attraction to Lavender, Hermione had developed an issue with her self-image.

And of course she was entirely aware that she had the same thing Lavender had that Ron truly cared about – breast and arse!

Really, what was missing?

She stared down at her shoes. Was it her voice? Her vibe in general? Her thoughts? Her opinions?

She was shaken out of her reverie rather painfully, by Ron's very painfully hooking his arm around her neck and Ron positively jumping into her as if trying to go through her.

"Where's Harry?" Ron almost-shouted in her ear.
"I don't know, Ron," she shrugged, noting Harry's absence.

"Why are you looking sad, mate? Something bothering you?"
"Nope, not at all."
"Great! Do you want to join us later at the pub?"
"Who is 'us'?" She questioned him.

"Harry, me, Seamus, Dean … Just us guys," he answered.

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows.
"All guys?"
"Yep!"
"Ah, no, I don't think so … I mean it's an all-guys thing, right? I wouldn't want to be a bother."
"Nonsense! Come on, 'Mione, you know you're like one of us," he winked, and untangled his arm from her neck, "Don't need to be so awkward about it."

"I'll … I'll think about it," she sighed crestfallenly.

And think about it, she did.

She thought about it throughout dinner at The Burrow, and throughout the pub session, until she fell asleep and until she went to work the next day.

She was staring into space, thinking about what was wrong with her.

"You're so cool to talk to … you think exactly like I do!"
"Wow! You're the first girl I've ever felt comfortable with!"
"You're amazing, I feel like I'm not even talking to a girl – I feel like I'm meeting my old best friend!"

Gathering the past conversations she's had with men before, she worked herself into a sour mood, so much so that she didn't notice when someone entered her office. Snapping out of her reverie, her eyes focused on the intruder.

"Before you start complaining, I did knock. Five times," came the voice of Draco Malfoy.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Malfoy," she said meekly, "I was just … lost in thought."
"Yes, I would say unfamiliar territory, but I think it wouldn't work on you," Malfoy jibed good-naturedly, "Probably would have worked on Potter or Weasley."

Hermione laughed at this and regarded Malfoy. They had become civil after Hogwarts and had to be even friendlier after knowing that they were working in the same department in the Ministry – what used to be plain high-school rivalry had turned into friendly rivalry within the walls of the Ministry.

"What do you need, Malfoy?" she asked.
"I was just reminding you to have that case on Pomona Reid by tomorrow, I need it," he said.
"Oh, right – I almost forgot. Here you are," Hermione waved her wand and a file from her desk flew towards Malfoy.
"Much thanks," he said without a hint of sincerity, catching it and peering into the file. Satisfied, he nodded and looked up at her, "Well then, I'm off."

"Okay," she said, ready to resume her lost-in-thought position again.

Silence.

"If you don't mind me asking, what has got you so bugged, Granger?" Malfoy's amused voice startled her again. "I doubt you would be looking like this, unless you're trying to figure out what you liked about Weasley during Hogwarts."

She hadn't realized that he was still there, standing at her doorway.

"Huh? Nothing … just … something really unimportant," she said lamely.
He raised both his eyebrows and shrugged, reaching for the knob and meaning to close the door.

"Malfoy …" Hermione began, still half-lost in thought.
"Granger."
"Do you … do you think I'm pretty?" She asked quietly.

There was a pause.

Hermione looked at him.

Malfoy looked at her seriously and then said, "I think you're a very beautiful woman, Granger." He gave her a nod and shut the door.

Hermione smiled.

Malfoy said I'm a very beautiful woman … very beautiful! Not just pretty or sexy or anything – but beautiful! And he said I was –

"A woman?!" Hermione's eyes widened, "Draco Malfoy is the only man I know who sees me as a woman, really?!"

The wheels in her mind were turning wildly.

She scrambled out of her chair and the desk and opened the door strong enough to rip it off the wall, and caught a flash of white-blonde hair down the corridor.

"Malfoy!" she called out to him.

He stopped in his tracks and could hear him sigh from the other end of the corridor. He turned towards her, looking mildly annoyed, "What is it this time, Granger? Fishing for more compliments?"

"No! Not at all, but umm, I have a favour to ask you," Hermione said as she rushed towards him.
Malfoy looked at her coolly and kept his mouth shut, waiting for her to say something.

"I … I need you to teach me how to be a woman."

Malfoy raised a fine eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" he said.
"I umm … have this problem where all the guys I know tend to say … that I'm like a guy to them … and it's frustrating really, so I … so," she stopped mid-rant, feeling her face heat up and knowing that she was red as a tomato. She had blurted out her dilemma to Draco Malfoy!

"And you think I'm the best person to help you?" Malfoy said calmly, "I'm sorry, but do I look like a woman to you?"
"No, that's not what I meant, Malfoy, you git!"
"What is it then?" Malfoy said, irritation lacing his voice, "You don't really need help, you know, you already have the necessary assets to pass off as a woman!"

"It's just that – it's the first time in so many, many years that someone had actually called me a woman, much more that you see me as a woman," she blushed, "I just need … you to help me shine more, as a woman …"
Malfoy kept quiet for a while.

"Malfoy?" Hermione pressed.

"Well, well, well," he smirked, reminding Hermione of the smirk he used to give everyone else in Hogwarts, "Fancy some bloke, Granger?"
"Yes," she answered immediately without thinking.
"What am I getting in return?" He asked, ever the Malfoy.
"We can discuss that later, after you've agreed," Hermione answered smartly.
"Very well, I agree. Who is the bloke?"

Hermione bit her lip.

"Ron."
"You're joking."

Reviews are much appreciated!

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