For now, this is just a one shot. But one day, once I finish my ongoing story, I plan on writing more of this. Until then, this is just a one shot for my partner, and put up here to see if anyone's interested at all. I hope you like this, short though it may be
When Sam Winchester said Yes to Lucifer and threw them down into the Cage, he had known that there was no way his mind would ever be able to even imagine what was waiting for him. He'd known that he was condemning himself to an eternity of pain and torture at the hands of a furious archangel. It was a necessary price to pay to save the world that he had almost ended with his mistakes. What he hadn't planned on was dragging yet another archangel down there with them. Bringing Michael along hadn't been a part of the plan, yet he couldn't regret it. He could only give thanks that Michael hadn't been lying when he'd said that Adam—Sam's half-brother, and the meatsuit that Michael was wearing—was no longer there. The boy's soul didn't belong down here. He didn't deserve the furious attention of two archangels who had nothing better to do than fight with one another and torment the one they held responsible for this.
The torments of the Cage were beyond anything he had ever known. Not even listening to Dean's nightmares of Hell, or hearing the little scraps that his brother gave out in those late nights where his walls were too low and he was too raw to hide, could've prepared Sam. Demons were masters of torture but they had nothing on a fallen angel driven insane by years of pain and rage and self-loathing. Sam fully believed that Lucifer had gone insane during his imprisonment. Left alone with nothing more than his own thoughts for so long would damage anyone; even an archangel. Maybe, if it had been just he and Michael in here, there might've been a chance for them to work out their problems. For them to fight and get it all out and then to, eventually, heal. But they weren't alone. They had Sam.
Time was endless down there. Sam had no means of measure it, no way of judging its passage. Everything boiled down to two things for him. Pain, and not-pain. The moments of not-pain were so rare and far between. Sometimes, the moments of not-pain only served to make the moments of pain worse. Taunting him with a time that he was no longer a part of. A time where things were better.
Eventually, even that word lost its meaning.
Then, one moment, one not-pain, something changed. A light came in the world of not-pain that was only ever dark. It came for him and it wrapped itself around him. But Sam was afraid. This light, it was familiar and yet not, reaching to a part of him that insisted he knew it. That it was—something.
Safe, a part of his mind whispered. But that word, too, had lost its meaning to him.
He cringed back from it, because here, light was pain, light was them, and they only ever brought Pain. They took away the not-pain. This new light held on to him and Sam went still, went small, because now he could feel it. They were coming. The new light held him and Sam felt it carrying him away, away from them, from Lucifer and Michael and all the pain. And Sam felt something, something he wasn't sure of anymore but that part of his mind whispered might be hope.
That hope was lost when a light as cold as ice grabbed him. The parts of Sam tore and his screams echoed through the dark as body and soul were yanked in to different directions. Sam's soul was caught in ice and he watched as his body was taken away, as this strange sensation called hope went away with it. Wrapped in the grace of the devil, he wept.
Time became meaningless once more. The cycles of pain and not-pain continued on as they would go evermore. There was nothing left but this.
Then, again, in another rare moment of not-pain, something changed once more.
This time, it wasn't a light. Not a light like Them. This was different, brighter and more vast, and ancient. They didn't come to it. Didn't even try to fight it. This time, as this strange Different took hold of him, he didn't pull back, didn't fight. He let it take him up and away.
Sensation returned slowly for Sam. He had no idea where he was or what was going on. His mind felt clearer than it had for so very long. The pain that had come to define his existence wasn't there. It wasn't clouding his thoughts or tearing through his soul. In fact, he felt almost—normal. Human. Clearheaded enough to know that this wasn't right. He should be here—wherever here was. He shouldn't be able to feel the sun on his face or the wind lightly brushing over his skin. This isn't Hell. This isn't the Cage. There was no room in the Cage for anything like this.
A low warm laugh washed over him like water over rocks and drew an immediate smile to Sam's lips. "You're right, Samuel." A warm voice said from somewhere to his right. "This is not the Cage."
That voice—it was deep, a low rumble, and carried a weight to it that Sam had heard a hint of in the angels, but nothing like this. And Sam's brain was already running with that, pairing it with the only thing that could've made that kind of light, a light that neither Lucifer nor Michael had dared touch, and one that was strong enough to quiet Sam's soul and bring him out of the Cage and to here.
Again, another laugh, so warm and easy. "You figured that out much quicker than I thought you would. That mind of yours, it never stops, does it?"
Sam forced his eyes to open. Somehow, it was no surprise to find that he was lying in Stull Cemetery. Or, a place that was made to look like it. But it wasn't his surroundings that he focused on. They weren't important. As he sat up in the soft grass, he looked over at the only important thing here. His eyes went straight to the elderly man sitting cross legged just a few feet away. Kind eyes looked at him from a wrinkled face and Sam found that he couldn't look away. Those eyes were ancient, made of every color and none, staring not just at him but in him, through him. "You're God."
"I am." He said kindly. Lifting His hands, He gestured at His body. "I thought this image might ease you."
"But, but what…"
"What am I doing here?"
It was a valid question, Sam thought. God hadn't stepped forward even once to help during the apocalypse. Why was He here now?
The sad smile that He gave Sam reminded him that this was God and He could probably hear every single thought that Sam was having. "A Father has to let His children grow." God told him gently. "What is free will when it's handed to them? What do they learn from that? What do they know? Free will means nothing when given away. It has to be earned." Folding his hands down into his lap, he caught Sam's gaze and held it, staring at him until Sam shifted. "I've pulled you out of the Cage, Samuel. Your soul is no longer there, though your body walks the earth. Castiel tried to pull you before but he wasn't strong enough and Lucifer held tightly."
The other light. The one that had come during the not-pain. The one that had made him afraid at first. The pain that came after made sense now. "So my, my body's up there, walking around without a soul?"
"It is. There are big things at play. Things that will be devastating." God sounded so sad then that it made Sam feel as if his heart were breaking. But those eyes, those ancient eyes were staring at Sam, pinning him there. "I rescued you from there, Samuel, and I can send your soul back to your body. I can make you whole again."
"Or?" There was no doubt in Sam's mind that there was an 'or' here. If God simply intended to make him whole again, He would've done so, not brought him to this between place.
God smiled at him like a proud parent. It was both strange and warming. "Or I can give you the chance to go back in time and stop this all before it started."
That froze Sam in place. He went completely still, unable to say anything. His heart leapt in his chest. The chance to go back, to fix his mistakes? It sounded too good to be true. How many times had he wished for that? Prayed for it?
"I heard your prayers, Samuel, and I'm willing to grant you this chance. But it won't be easy. For this to work, you're going to have to remember. Everything."
The way He said that left no doubt as to His meaning. He wasn't talking about his life before the Cage—He meant the Cage as well. If Sam did this, he was going to do it with his memories intact. He was going to remember everything. It seemed too much. How was he supposed to function with that? Sam knew here, with a detached air of one who knows something but doesn't quite feel it, that the things he had felt there, the horrors he'd lived through, could destroy him. They had destroyed him. They'd reduced him to nothing. A broken and shredded soul that had understood only the cycles of Pain and Not-Pain. The idea of taking all that on terrified him. Yet, weighed against the chance to stop this all, the chance to fix what he'd broken, there was no other choice he could make. He sighed out a breath and pulled on his best smile, strained though it may be. "I guess redemption has to be earned, right?"
The smile that earned him warmed him straight through. God looked pleased and kind in that moment, just as Sam had always pictured him, always hoped he would be. "I will heal the damage done to your soul so that this won't destroy you or drive you insane, but the memories are still going to be there. You need to remember, so you know, and so what happened once doesn't happen again."
"Where will you send me?" Sam asked.
"Where you need to go. There are some things that have to happen, Samuel. Some things that can't be stopped." And oh, he looked so sorrowful over that, so heartbroken. "I'm so sorry. Some things can't be changed. But some…some of it can."
This was too much. It was insane to ask this of him of all people. But they were his mistakes that had to be corrected. Still, Sam knew his strength and he knew his weaknesses, and hadn't he proved so many times already how weak he was? "I can't…I can't do this alone. What if I mess this up?"
"You won't be alone. Give a message to my Messenger. Maybe more than one redemption can be earned. I would see my children happy." God leaned in, cupping Sam's face and pressing a kiss to his forehead, and inside his mind Sam heard whispered words low and musical in a language Sam didn't understand but that he could feel like love and life and beauty against him, sinking down into him. When God pulled back once more, He was smiling and there was love in His eyes. "Be well, Samuel Winchester, and go with my blessing."
Fingers brushed over Sam's forehead and the world went dark.
How far back to you think God sent him? :)