She sighed. It was another day surrounded by people talking down to her. She looked down at her notebook to find it once again scribbled with nonsense. There was no point in actually trying because it's not like she can focus long enough to anymore and when she tries she just gets laughed at. The only person who never laughed went ahead and left her behind.
Sure, Santana wasn't the first to leave her, but definitely was the one to hurt the most. Her parents had given up on her at an early age and now focused on her sister. The whole family acts like she's still the youngest. Whatever.
Sam passes her a note. It's a poorly drawn heart with an "I love you" written in the middle. It's tiny writing that she can barely read but it's nice to hear. Even if Sam thinks he knows what love is, he doesn't. He's infatuated. The only love she wants came from perfect loopy letters with a weirdly drawn unicorn or something. Hearts were too cliché for their liking.
She doesn't want to compare Sam to her but it comes out naturally. Everything was easier with Santana. Sex, being silly, trying, crying. She was never laughed at when it came to her best friend. Ex-best friend. Ex-girlfriend. She doesn't even know what they are anymore.
She dives for the waistband of her spanks to pull out her cell phone when she felt the vibration against her hip. She doesn't know why she does this. It's all stupid hope and once again she's disappointed when the sender name starts with an S but end in AM and not AN. She needs to change that. Too many times now she's messed it up and read it as the name she wanted to and her heart inflated with the I love you or I miss you and suddenly everything was okay again.
But it wasn't. The world is tough enough with friends but now who does she have. It's her against the world surrounded by people who don't even know her like the only person who ever tried to know her. Her dancing outlet was taken away when Finn started helping with the Glee club. Dancing was suddenly not so important and when it was it, it was all handed to the new kids. Sure they need to learn but why does that mean it gets taken from her.
This is why she can't have nice things.
The teacher's been talking to long and she keeps scribbling on her paper. So much shit in her head she needs to get it out. She's been so numb lately that she doesn't even really see what she's drawing or writing. It all comes out like vomit.
The bell rings. Sam immediately snatches up her books, playing the gentleman, as always. He follows her out of class like a puppy, too busy staring at her ass to notice the paper flying away from the pile under his arm.
The teacher reaches down to give it back but the kids are already long gone. He notices the name in the corner, written in crayon writing so familiar. He's about to crumple it up and throw it away when he notices something amid the odd drawings of two girls, one blonde and one brunette. He gasps as he digs out some old college textbook. "Jesus. How in the world? I've got to get this checked."
Two weeks later, Brittany answers the call from M.I.T.