A/N: This is a Lenny one-shot that I've been wanting to write since the finale. It's part fanmix and part fanfiction. I hope you like it.
It had taken two different medications and four hours, but Leonard was now relatively certain he could unpack without throwing up. It helped that he hadn't been able to keep anything down since he had gotten on the boat. His cabin was small, but at least he didn't have to share with anyone else. The bed folded down from the wall and there was a small set of drawers for his clothes. There was also a fold down desk for his computer. The room had obviously been designed for efficiency.
Leonard got up from the bed and folded it back up. He didn't have to start working until the next day, but he thought it would be a good idea to unpack, have dinner with his new colleagues, and go to bed early. Spending much of the day trying his hardest not to throw up had been pretty tiring.
Unzipping his duffel bag, Leonard saw a CD case lying on top of his clothes. He didn't remember packing it, and when he pulled it out, it was clear why. The CD's cover was a copy of the photo of himself and Penny of them that Penny kept on her refrigerator. Leonard opened the CD case and on the back of the photo was a handwritten note.
Leonard,
I couldn't think of a good way to give this to you, so I just slipped it into your bag. I wanted to make you something so that you could think of me when we are so far apart. I've got a copy of this CD, and I'll listen to it every time I miss you. I hope you'll do the same. Maybe we'll even listen to it at the same time.
Four months might seem like a long time, but I'll be waiting for you when you get home.
Love Always,
Penny
Leonard felt pin pricks in his eyes signaling that tears would likely be on their way. His throat felt thick and he tried to swallow, but he just felt stuck. "Leonard, you are a grown man. You can handle being away from home and your girlfriend for four months," he told himself. He grabbed a bottle of water and tried to get himself under control.
He also grabbed his computer, set it up, and put on the CD. It started playing while he started putting away the layers and layers of clothes he brought to keep him warm. It was summer time, but the highs in July only reached 64 degrees. It could get much colder than that, and he didn't have much tolerance for the cold. At least not since the years when he lived in New Jersey.
The first song came on. He didn't recognize all of the bands when he quickly skimmed the playlist, but that made sense. Penny had a much different taste in music than he did. The first song was fast and he stopped to listen for a moment. The song was called "Still Into You" by Paramore. "I should be over all the butterflies..." Leonard liked that because that was how he felt when he saw Penny. They'd been neighbors for nearly seven years and been dating on and off for half that time, but he still felt butterflies in his stomach when he kissed her.
The next song was slower. It was "Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City. This one tried his ability to not cry again. It was about missing someone and even though it was just the beginning of their time apart, Leonard missed Penny already. He gave up on putting his clothes away and just sat down at his computer.
He pulled up the file of photos that he kept on his computer as the next song started. It was "Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers. He suspected that this song was chosen for the chorus, "Keep your head up, my love." The photos started running as a slideshow on his computer and he just watched them for a moment. There were a few from his childhood, but most of the photos were from the last few years.
One from a Halloween party years before came up as the song changed to "San Francisco" by The Mowgli's. He stared at himself dressed as a Hobbit with Sheldon dressed as the Doppler Effect on one side and Penny dressed as a cat on the other. It was long before they dated, but Penny kissed him that night. He remembered it fondly while the song spoke of love binding two people together. It would be over a year before Leonard would get up the courage to ask Penny out, and another year after that before they actually started dating. Still, that kiss gave him hope that she might see him as a potential mate.
At first, Leonard didn't even notice when the song changed again. The photos had changed a few more times. Each one was another memory of Penny and his friends. "I Believe in Love" by Matisyahu was playing. He heard, "I'm on my way to you..." and he wished it was true. The photo on the screen was the two of them right after they started dating the first time. That was just after another long research trip away. It had worked out that time, and he hoped it would work out again. Like Penny had told him before he left, he was a lot more likely to screw things up back in Pasadena than here.
The next song was slower and sweeter. It was "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran. That was one that he actually knew because Leonard and Penny had done their fair share of kissing to it. Still, he listened to the lyrics and felt a mixture of sadness and yearning for Penny. He thought about the day when he got up the courage to ask Penny out again after they were broken up for over a year. It was one of the bravest moments of his life and he would never regret it. He didn't believe in psychics, so he didn't know how the future would turn out, but his relationship with Penny could never be a mistake.
"Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros started playing. This one made Leonard start crying in earnest. He realized how much Penny was his home. He had his friends and his work, but Penny was the one who he really missed. She was the only reason that he even questioned for a moment coming on this trip. There were so many reasons why their relationship shouldn't work. She was definitely too beautiful for him, and he was probably too smart for her, but they worked. That she included this song on the playlist meant that she felt like he was her home too.
The last song started, and Leonard hadn't done anything other than look at photos and listen to music. He checked the time and he still had time to get dinner with everyone else, but it would probably be obvious that he'd been crying. It wasn't the kind of first impression that he wanted to make. Especially since most people on the boat knew that he had spent most of the day trying to not be sick. "5 Years Time" by Noah and the Whale was playing, and the photo on the screen was one of Penny in her work uniform. She looked just as she had when she told him that she loved him the first time. Then it moved to a photo of the whole group, taken on the day of his going away party. All of his friends were gathered to see him off.
He realized that he wasn't worried about the future as much. Sure he missed Penny, but there wasn't much he couldn't do with those people around him. His friends gave him strength and Penny loved him. He didn't need much more than that even if he was thousands of miles away. The tears stopped, and he started finally unpacking his stuff. Then the computer chirped to let him know that someone was calling him on Skype. It was Penny.
"Hey, Sweetie, did you get settled in yet?" Penny asked, then she got a better glimpse of his face. "Are you crying?"
"They are very manly tears. Plus, it's your fault. I found the CD you made me."
Penny smiled. "I'm sorry it made you so sad."
"It didn't. It just made me miss you. I love you," Leonard told her.
"I love you, too," Penny said back without any hesitation.
