As the ship docked into the small port in Anchorage, Ford walked underneath the deck to wake his brother.

"Stanley, wake up." He shook him roughly on the shoulder.

The larger twin game growling groan as he turned to his back and placed a hand on his stomach.

"We'd better be in Anchorage or a siren is trying to hypnotize you."

Ford laughed a little ruefully. "We're in Anchorage, Lee."

That's when Stan's eyes shot open and he sat up.

"Why the hell didn't you say so!"

And with that, Stan set to getting dressed and ready to go pick up their mail as they did every month. It was a promise that Stan and Ford had made to Wendy, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel. It had been four months now, and they got letters from each one of them every month.

As Stan walked downstairs, he laughed at his brother's sideburns. They were beginning to trail his chin.

"Time to get those things cut off, already," voted Stan he accepted the cup of coffee Ford handed him.

"Trimmed," Ford countered, "I happen to like these. Besides, you're starting to look like 1982."

Stan had just taken a sip of his coffee and did a spit take at the image in the mirror. Ford snickered.

"Do I see a-"

"Shut the fuck up," Stan spat, "We won't get back on this ship until we go the barber."

The two stared at each other, frozen.

The laughter ran through the little ship and into the cold air as they stepped unto the dock.

As they walked into the post office, the familiar service woman smiled at the two old sailors.

"Is your mail always this full?"

The brothers chuckled and nodded. The woman smiled bigger and pulled out their mail.

"Oh, that's odd..."

"What is it?" Stanley asked.

"You have to read them in a specific order."

Ford's eyes widened. "That's what the envelopes say?"

She nodded and handed them off into six-fingered hands.

"Have a nice day!"

The twins waved as they walked out of the building to wind up in one right across the street. The barber had very clear instructions. Trim the sideburns and get rid of the horrific mullet.

Ford stood patiently waiting for his brother.

They went to eat at a small diner on the same street. As they took two stools at the bar, they went to opening mail. They were surprised to see that Dipper and Mabel's letter was not labeled as first. They'd always read the twins' first. But, in respect to their reasoning, they picked up Wendy's first.

Stanley nearly choked on his food. Stanford simply let out a deep breath of remorse.

Hey, Pines. So, everything's kinda gone to hell for me. Dad and most of my brothers were killed in a wildfire. Only me and my middle brother, Wes, made it out in time. We're staying with Soos and Melody's from now on and I got back with Robbie. So I'm trying to piece together what is left of my life. Sometimes I think I'm doing a shit job. I dunno. So everyone wanted to call everything off for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I told ' em that was stupid. So they've all got good news but me. Don't worry about their worries. I'm fine. You'd better still come.

-Later, dudes-

"Oh, God," whispered Stan, shaken to the core. He knew Wendy was tough. But...almost her entire family...

"Will she be okay?" asked Ford, more than concerned for the young teenager's mental state.

"Soon. She's hard as stone, but I know she's torn up."

"Anyone would be," reasoned Ford quietly.

"Yeah...say, have we taken care of all the anomalies?"

"Just about. Why?"

"Just wonderin'," said Stan as he mindlessly picked up Soos and Melody's letter.

Hi, guys! Good to talk to you again. How are you? Look, we have a huge favor to ask. We found out last week that we're expecting. We are ecstatic. But Soos's grandmother is concerned. She wants us to be married to help atone for our 'sins' and I agree. Not about the religious part, being married. I know it shouldn't matter, but I would feel a little better if Soos and I were married, to be good role models, you know. We've been engaged for several months now and saved enough for a small wedding. Nothing real fancy, but better than a court house. The thing is, Soos wants Stan to come to the wedding ( I think he'd like you to be the best man), but it's in January. Late January. I understand that it would be too expensive to swing back around after Christmas, so the favor is that you'd stay through month. Please let us know when you come back to Gravity Falls.

-Soos and Melody-

"Hmm, that puts a damper on the sea monkey colony..."grumbled Ford quietly.

"We're doin' it, Sixer," Stan finalized.

"Well, obviously, Stanley," Ford smiled, "Simply stating facts."

He chuckled as he picked up the last envelope and chuckled at the expensive parchment he'd gifted Dipper with before they'd left.

"How's he doin' with that calliga-whatever?" Stan asked.

"Very well," said Ford as he refused to correct his brother's grammar or his lack respect for the art of calligraphy.

Hey,Grunkle Stan! Hi, Grunkle Ford! We can't wait to 'sea' you guys (I bet you have manly beards by now)! I finally passed my math homework (Thank you, Grunkle Ford)! Anyway, we'll be in town a week before you guys. Yeah, they have to fumigate our school! It's gonna take months! I (Dipper) have grown almost six inches and I (Mabel) have only grown one. It finally happened:( Dipper just said I wasn't allowed to do that in fancy writing, but I don't care! Ugh, sisters. You guys don't understand the horror (or the fantasy) of having a sister! Melody is a really good cook according to Soos so we can't wait! Also, Mom and Dad can't wait to see the grunkles who sent us home with a pig. Sorry, Mabel threw you under the bus. Did Not! I wasn't done explaining when they wildly jumped to conclusions (I have to start using adverbs more, my teacher hates me!)! So, hurry up and get here, the hug monster inside Mabel is getting stronger, she nearly broke Wendy's neck. FEAR ME!;)

-Dipper and Mabel-