The scream echoed loudly in the large room, resonating for a few moments after it had left the little child's lungs. It was as if the scream was physically hurting Lily - tearing his heart apart.
He leaned over the small bed in the middle of the dark room, his gaze focusing on the sobbing child buried under a heap of blankets.
"Hush... It's okay. I'm here, alright? Everything's okay now... Come here," he whispered as he picked the crying child up into his arms. The vampire sat down onto the bed, cradling the little girl and slowly stroking over her hair.
"It was just a bad dream. Everything is alright, I'm going to protect you... Don't worry..."
The crying got gradually more quiet until the child was only sobbing silently and after a few more minutes of Lily whispering sweet nothings into her ear and rocking her softly back and forth, she fell asleep again. Carefully he got up and laid the child down without disturbing her sleep or waking her up.
When the vampire straightened up again, he already missed he warmth the gir's body was radiating.
It felt as if something was missing in his arms and chest now. With one last look at the sleeping girl, he turned away and and checked if any other children in the room had woken up from the screaming.
A wave of relief washed over him when he looked at their serene faces, sleeping without any nightmares disturbing them - at least for the moment.
Every single night in which a child woke up from a bad dream was like torture for him. If he couldn't get them to feel better and go back to sleep, he would make them a hot chocolate and hold them in his arms.
And the children would start telling him about the dream they were having.
Most of the dreams were nightmares in which the child died or was heavily injured.
Lily was able to see the fear in their eyes and feel how their bodies were trembling and it felt almost like someone was jabbing a knife through his heart.
He knew that those weren't only dreams, but in fact the actual memories shortly before Lily had turned the child into his subclass.
He didn't know how he could still do this.
Every time he "saved" a child something inside of them changed. They were a lot quieter, and more withdrawn than children of their age should be and even though they were all alive, Lily felt as if he hadn't been able to truly save them.
He just didn't know what he was supposed to do anymore. He couldn't stop saving children, he absolutely couldn't let them die if he had the ability to save them.
But the children that he saved had horrible nightmares and couldn't leave the mansion during the day.
And they needed blood.
Lily wasn't so sure if the children wanted to continue living like that.
He thought about this every day, but he had never once found a solution and today wasn't an exception.
He didn't know how he could keep doing it.
With one last glance at the sleeping girl in her bed, he quietly left the room. He walked through the doorway and closed the big oak doors quietly before he leaned back against them, eyes closed.
He slid down the wooden surface of the doors until he sat on the ground and buried his face in his arms.
For Lily, it felt as if only seconds had passed before he heard someone clear his throat in front of him followed by a light touch to his arm.
His head immediately shot up and he could make out Misono's face in the dim light of the candle he was holding.
"Misono, why are you here?" He asked, confused about why his Eve would be at this place in the middle of the night.
"And why are you holding a candle?"
Misono blushed a bit.
"My flashlight broke and I couldn't find another one!" He cleared his throat, obviously feeling a bit embarassed. "Anyway, I am here because I heard one of the children cry and wanted to check, but I guess you were here before."
"Ah, right," Lily said, "It was just a nightmare, nothing for you to worry about, Misono. You should go back to bed since you have to get up early."
He stood up and forced his mouth into a smile.
"I guess I should be heading to bed now too."
He knew that Misono was studying his face intently and he just hoped that he wouldn't realize just how fake his smile was.
"Lily, what's wrong?"
Of course Misono would have noticed something was up. But he couldn't drag him even more into this.
"Hm? It's nothing, Misono, everything is okay. Just go back to your room, it's late and you need your energy for tomorrow."
While saying this he put a hand on the boy's back and pushed him gently forward. All the while the smile didn't leave his face.
Misono seemed like he knew something was up, but he still let himself be led back to his room by Lily.
When they arrived at his room Lily opened the door for him and ushered him inside.
He was about to turn around and leave, needing to be alone. He couldn't keep that smile up for much longer.
It was then that Misono spoke up again.
"Lily."
He would just stay like this with his back turned towards Misono.
Like this nothing could happen.
He could leave at any moment.
"Snow Lily."
Misono was calling him by the name he had given him.
A shiver ran down his spine as he turned around.
Just smile. Keep it up. He won't notice.
"What's wrong?"
Misono's voice was filled with concern.
"It's nothing. Why do you ask?"
Now, for the first time that night, Lily looked into Misono's eyes.
They were filled with worry, concern and a deep sadness and they were focused only on him.
"You're crying."
He was crying?
He brought a hand up to his cheek and could feel how wet it was.
Lily could feel his smile falter until finally his whole facade shattered.
More tears started to flow down his cheeks and his legs gave out. He slowly sank to the floor in front of Misono and covered his face with his hands, bending his head downward.
"Misono... I can't... I can't save them..."
One sob after another left his is throat as a feeling of helplessness and futility spread throughout his body.
He couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
The dam was broken and all the past years of him turning children into his subclass came rushing back to him.
He felt Misono move in front of him and suddenly he was embraced by a pair of small arms and the other's body was pressed against his.
Misono's head was lying on his shoulder and Lily could hear him whispering to him.
"It's okay, Lily. You did nothing wrong. It's okay."
These words helped him push away the helplessness and fear for a moment and he slowly raised his arms to wrap around the other's body.
They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity to Lily.
He was just holding Misono, feeling his warmth. It was as if he was keeping him stable, grounded.
He could ignore the regret and fear for now.
When Misono lifted his head from his shoulder and stood up, Lily was about to break down again.
But when he felt a hand holding his own he looked up at Misono's face. The face that was usually scrunched up in anger or annoyance was showing a soft look, filled with so much love directed at him that Lily felt as if his heart stopped beating for a second.
"Come."
Misono pulled him up and led him inside his room. He closed the doors and then walked towards his bed, all the while never letting go of Lily's hand. He sat down and pulled Lily with him, the two of them sitting so close to each other that their arms were touching.
They just sat there for a few moments before Lily felt like he needed to say something.
He needed to tell Misono what was going on, he had to tell him, as much as it pained him to say it out loud.
"Misono, I..."
"It's okay."
"Huh?"
Misono let out a quiet sigh and leaned against Lily with his whole body, his head resting against Lily's upper arm.
"You don't have to say anything. You're worried about the children. I know how much it pains you when they cry and have nightmares."
He let himself fall back onto the bed and slipped under the covers. After that he lifted one corner of the blanket up and looked at Lily expectantly.
When Lily hesitated, Misono took his hand and pulled him under the covers and immediately covered them both with the blanket.
Misono was lying directly in front of him, his body radiating warmth and Lily felt himself yearning for that warmth. He needed to hold it, protect it from everything that tried to hurt it.
His body moved on instinct and suddenly he was hugging Misono to his chest, chin resting on top of his head.
The smaller boy didn't protest as he was pulled into the embrace and Lily was unbelievably grateful for that.
After a moment he could feel how Misono encircled him with his own arms and something ignited inside of him. There was a warmth spreading through his body that he hadn't felt in a long time.
He felt accepted, understood.
He didn't have to tell Misono in every detail what he was afraid of. The boy had picked up on all the small things and had understood what was going on. He had told him it was not his fault.
That he had done nothing wrong.
And that was exactly what Lily had been longing to hear for so long.
Only now did he notice that tears had started to flow from his eyes again.
He pressed a kiss on top of Misono's hair, not bothering to wipe the tears away.
"Thank you. Thank you so much, Misono," he whispered.
By the way he was breathing, Lily could tell that Misono was already asleep and didn't hear what he just said, but that didn't matter. He would be able to tell him over and over again as long as they were bound together.
He closed his eyes and held Misono a bit closer.
He would never let Misono get hurt. He'd always protect him. And all the other children.
He would protect his family.