Beca had a list. The List was full of things that would seem an everyday activity to any person. If you were to read them you would think, "I just did this yesterday," or "We could go outside right now and do this." But in Beca's case, she just didn't want to do these things on her list alone. And that's how Aubrey Posen got herself into specific situations involving,
- Go skinny dipping at a beach
- Sleeping on previous mentioned beach (clothed)
- Taking a photo in front of a sunrise and sunset
- Get in a fist fight (and not get arrested)
And last but not least,
- Sleeping for a whole 24 hours
Aubrey's eyebrow rose at the last one because she couldn't remember a time where it seemed Beca didn't sleep for 24 hours. But then again, if she wants to do the List. Then so be it.
-
They decided to start with the things that they knew would be difficult, they saved the easy ones for last.
Aubrey decided that they'd get the fist fight over and done with. Beca seemed uncertain about it. Beca could see the doubt in her eyes.
"You're the one who wanted to do this, yes?" She asked Beca as they lined up for entrance to the club.
It was dodgy, there was someone passed out on the sidewalk with a busted lip, a black eye and a small cut on their forehead. There were people leaning against the wall smoking cigarettes and of course there was those stumbling around with a bottle in a brown paper bag. It was dodgy, but what do you expect the outside of a fight club to look like?
"I know I wanted to do this, it's just that these guys are all serious and stuff. Whereas I'm a little bunny compared to them." Beca said, her wide eyes keeping watch between the sidewalk person and the drunks.
"Well remember that we've been training for this, so you won't be totally useless. Just remember what I taught you. Defend your face with your hands when you aren't throwing punches. Try to find their weak spot and when you do, specifically keep throwing shots there. You already know the other punching crap so." Aubrey grabbed the shorter girls shoulders and shook her slightly.
"You can do this, Beca. I believe in you."
Seeing the confidence and excitement in Aubrey's eyes made what was about to happen all worth it. Or so she thought.
Being in the fight ring was very unlike training with Aubrey. With Aubrey there was encouraging words being yelled at her whereas here, people were yelling horrible things at her. But within all of the discouragements from the small crowd surrounding the cage, Beca could pinpoint Aubrey encouraging her on.
The girl she was fighting against sure knew her way around the ring and obviously, this scared Beca. Why did she want to do this in the first place? This was stupid. When she meant a fist fight she meant a drunken bar one where she actually had a chance of winning, not cage fighting! Which Beca was pretty sure was illegal. How did Aubrey even find out about this place?
"You see Beca, that wasn't all that bad." Aubrey poked Beca in her cheek but drew back when the shorter girl let out a painful hiss.
Moving the ice pack away from her face, Beca turned to Aubrey and spat at her, "Yes it was. I almost died."
Aubrey rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic, Becs. You lived, you're here now. Plus, you've got one thing crossed off your list."
Aubrey held up the list and showed her the big red cross on "Get in a fist fight (and not get arrested)."
Beca flashed a small smile, sure what she went through was like Hell 2.0 but hey, she did it, she got in a fist fight and even though it was illegal, she wasn't arrested.
"Yeah I guess you're right, but just know this. I'm never doing that again."
With a laugh and an arm across Beca's shoulder, Aubrey just said, "Wouldn't want you to anyway, Becs."
The next thing to be crossed off the list would be doing three things at once. They'd get a photo with the sunset, go skinny dipping in the dark, so they couldn't see each other obviously. Then they'd get out, get changed and just go to sleep. They'd wake up before sunrise and get a photo of that. Instantly, they've crossed three things off of Beca's list. It didn't seem like much, but they've forgotten some important things for this event.
Like, towels, food, water, a change of clothes and blankets.
When the girls had arrived at the beach they unpacked everything they had and realised that they left things behind.
Unfortunately, sunset was a few minutes away, so somebody had to stay behind, obviously it was Beca being it her list and everything.
As Beca watched the sunset and took a photo. She just stared into the sky and thought about everything. Why she decided to do the list and why now. Why she chose Aubrey and not any of the other Bella's. Even though her and Aubrey had fought a lot last year, they finally started to get along. And Beca wanted Aubrey to have some great memories with herself. Sure, Chloe was her best friend but they have plenty of memories together.
A few hours later when the girls had all of their resources and it was finally dark, except for the town lights glowing in the dark behind them, which left a small glow amongst the beach where they sat. It would make it a lot easier to see in the water, sadly it didn't hide everything they wanted it to.
By the time the girls had grown the courage to actually get naked and get into the water. It was 11:30pm. They were getting tired and they knew they had to do this now or never.
So, they stripped, and they dipped. Sure, it was awkward, and they'll never talk about it again but it got crossed off the list so who cared? Now all they had to do was sleep on said beach and get a photo of the sunrise.
-
When the alarm went off in the morning, half an hour before the sunset. Aubrey looked over at the sleeping girl beside her and smiled. Last night was awkward but Aubrey was just happy that Beca got something else crossed off her list. Beca didn't know why the list was so important to Beca and why the girl suddenly wanted to do it but if she wanted to do it so badly, then why not help her to?
Slowly shaking her shoulder, Aubrey woke Beca up. Ten minutes later they had breakfast ready and they were just waiting for the sun. They bought some sandwiches for breakfast, maybe not the healthiest option for breakfast but who cared.
As the sun began to rise, Beca rested her head on Aubrey's shoulder with a sigh. Aubrey got a photo and showed the smaller girl.
"It's beautiful." Beca whispers. Aubrey glanced down at the girl on her shoulder and just faintly smiled. Beautiful.
All that was left on the list that they could do easily and locally, was sleep for 24 hours. Aubrey had no clue how Beca would accomplish this. Would she have to knock her out with a pan or what? Aubrey was hoping Beca would have a plan for this because Aubrey was completely plan less.
As Beca downed some sleeping pills, Aubrey stood aside and just watched her with wide eyes. Surely that wasn't safe?
"Becs? Are you sure that's a safe dose?" Aubrey asked, Beca could hear the worry and hesitance laced in her voice.
"Yeah, I talked to my doctor about it and he said if I take an appropriate dosage of these sleeping meds then I should be able to sleep for 24 hours safely and unharmed." Beca smiled at the girl from across the room, she could see the concern on the girls face but she herself wasn't worried one bit. She'd finally get a good sleep since she was born! It'll be amazing.
"But remember Bree, you have to check on me every three hours, just to make sure that everything is normal."
"Uhm, I thought your doctor said that it was safe?" Aubrey asked.
"Yeah but he also said to do that just to be safe! Anyway, I know your sleeping schedule is about to be messed up for the next 24 hours, so I just wanted to say," Beca stopped. Aubrey raised her eyebrows for the girl to carry on.
"I just wanted to say you should drink a lot of coffee." Beca finished.
Rolling her eyes, Aubrey pushed off the wooden desk and walked out of the room. Beca just watched the girl leave. She could feel her eyes getting droopy, feeling a buzz of excitement go through her body, she quickly got under her blue covers and shut her eyes. Sleep eventually consumed her.
When Aubrey came back two hours later, she was greeted with Beca half draped off the bed side. Rushing to sort the girl out she stopped right before she reached her. Grinning like a moron she took a few steps back and snatched her phone out of her pocket. After taking a few pictures that she was sure she could use as ammo against the girl eventually. Putting her phone back in her pocket, she helped Beca back into the middle of the bed, the girl didn't even stir. AUbrey smiled. She then went back downstairs and planted herself in front of the TV. She looked at her watch, ok, 22 hours to go.
When Beca woke up 23 hours later, she could barely open her eyes. It was hard, they were shut for so long and now she couldn't even open them properly. Eventually when she could open her eyes, she looked around the room but stopped when she saw Aubrey folded in half on her desk chair. She looked so uncomfortable.
"Aubrey?" Beca called, her voice was so scratchy it actually hurt to talk. She looked to her left and saw a glass of water already waiting for her. She smiled.
After drinking all of the water, she looked back over at the girl just to find her staring at her, sitting upright. Beca didn't even hear her move.
"How was your sleep?" Aubrey asks.
"It was the best I've ever had. Except maybe a little too long." Beca replied, really, she was pretty sure she was getting a headache.
"Well you don't have to because it's crossed off your list." Again, Aubrey picked up the list and showed her the big red x right on "sleep for 24 hours". Beca had never felt so accomplished in her life.
She had finished the list. And all it had taken was a week. She started to cry, she knew she could do it but why did it feel so good to have actually done it? And why was she so sad? Probably because it was over. Aubrey was by her side all week and it was the first time it had ever happened. She loved spending time with Aubrey and now that she'd had some, she craved more. Except it was a craving she knew wouldn't be fulfilled. It made her sad.
Seeing the girl all of a sudden crying, Aubrey rushed to her side and immediately enveloped the girl in an embrace.
"Hey hey, what's wrong Beca?" Aubrey's soothing voice calmed Beca.
"It's just that, we spent all week together and- and now we won't be you know? And it ma- makes me sad." Beca whined.
"Becs, it's okay, we will be spending time together. Most days, maybe not every day but hey, that's okay. As long as we see each other often nothing is wrong with that!" Aubrey soothed the younger girl.
If only she knew, Beca thought.
-
Aubrey didn't see it coming. One day her and Beca were laughing over frozen yoghurt and then the next she was crying at her bedside. She didn't understand what was happening, all she got was a phone call from Chloe telling her to get down to the hospital. It was a call that she was not expecting.
She was always wondering why Beca wanted to do a list. She kind of understood now, Beca wanted to do the list because she had never done them before; it's the kind of things you see people do in movies and books. Go skinny dipping in the ocean or sleep on the beach. But Beca was sick and dying. She didn't have a lot of time to do these things. Other people probably won't even do any of those kinds of things in their lives whereas Beca had done them all before she was even 25, so she had already accomplished more in her 19 years of life then other people ever would.
When Aubrey had arrived at the hospital, she had no clue where to go. All Chloe had said was for her to get to the hospital as soon as she could. Seeing the nurses desk, she rushed over.
"I was just called, uh Beca Mitchell where is she?" Aubrey asked the nurse at the desk frantically. The nurse smiled at the blonde girl and did a quick search on her computer before speaking.
"Ward 2d, room 34." Aubrey quickly thanked the nurse before making her way to the elevator. Anxiously, she pushed the up arrow and waited for the elevator to open. Once it did, she waited for the people exiting to get out before she went in and pushed the second-floor button.
The doors shut and Aubrey tapped her foot impatiently. The music playing in the elevator just agitated her even more. It was like it was telling her "Calm down. Everything will be okay. No need to stress." Well, the music can shove it where the sun doesn't shine because Aubrey was stressing out.
Her stomach felt uneasy with every second that passed. Each second without seeing Beca and knowing if she's okay. She shut her eyes and waited for the ding.
When it sounded, she opened them and waited for the doors to open. As she passed rooms that didn't have the right number on them, the uneasiness in Aubrey's stomach grew. Once she got to the 34th room, she placed her hand on the handle and took a deep breath. She had to calm down, she couldn't walk in there all stressed out and freaking out Beca. Once she felt her nerves and stress calm down a little, she opened the door softly.
As she placed her first step in the room, she heard chattering, she had her eyes on the floor, but she recognised the voices of Stacie and Chloe. She was glad her other friends were here, Aubrey knows that Beca would appreciate it. She raised her eyes as she heard the voices quieten.
"Hey Bree, I'm really glad you got here as soon as you could." Stacie whispers to the blonde as she finally got to Beca's bedside.
Aubrey just absently nodded in response as she looked at the girl in the bed in front of her.
Beca looked so pale. Aubrey knew the girl was pale, but not this bad. Aubrey could see pass the oxygen mask, she could see that Beca's lips were tinged blue and Aubrey couldn't help but let a tear fall from her eye.
Quickly she wiped the tear away when she felt a hand on her elbow. She knew that it was Chloe, so she didn't say anything. She just looked over to the redhead who also had tears in her eyes.
"Please don't cry." Chloe said as she brushed away more tears that had fallen down Aubrey's cheeks.
Aubrey heard sniffles coming from Stacie and she looked over to the taller brunette, Stacie just laughed with agony.
"I can't believe this is happening. Why does stupid shit have to happen to the best people?" Stacie said.
"I know Stace, but sometimes there's things that can't be preventedā¦" Chloe trailed off as Aubrey stopped listening.
Aubrey felt a pang in her chest. Did Beca know that she was sick? It seemed to make sense that she did, after all, she did get Aubrey to do all those things with her.
Aubrey couldn't focus on much really, she could see Beca laying in the bed, but she couldn't hear the steady beep coming from the heart monitor, or the now crying Chloe who was wrapped in Stacie's arms.
"Can I have a minute alone with her?" Aubrey asked the other two women in the room. She heard a quiet yes coming from Stacie who helped guided Chloe out of the room.
Once Aubrey heard the click of the door behind her, she started to speak.
"Hey Beca, I don't know if you know I'm here or not because the doctors said you're pretty much gone already but there's a piece of me that's hoping you're in there somewhere, hearing what I'm saying. Feeling, what I'm doing." At this, Aubrey grabbed Beca's hand with her own and stilled a little at the coldness of the girl.
"I know we haven't always been the best of friends, especially your first year. But I would like to think that we are a lot closer than that now. I'd like to think that you're one of my best friends and I'm yours. I want you to know that I love you Beca, I want you to get better. You have to get better, we can do a whole lot more in the short amount of time that we had. The things we did when you wanted to do that list of stuff, we can do more things like that. You know that list was a good idea I think, not only because you got to do those things but because without it, I don't think we would have ever gotten as close as we are now. Without that list I wouldn't recognise my feelings for you, Beca." Aubrey took a deep breath in; her hand was trembling now and tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"I know it sounds pathetic, but I wish we could go back to when you first joined the Bella's, there would be so much I would change, I wouldn't be a dick to you, I would have listened to you when you wanted to change the set list and I wouldn't have been so hard on the other girls. I would become your friend I'd like to think. I feel like we're similar in what we wanted, we both wanted to win and yeah, we did in the end, but it wasn't as good of a journey as I wanted. We could go back to when you were healthy, free and vibrant. When you could keep up with the choreography and stuff. I wish we could go back to the beach and watch the sunset together just once more together. I'm pretty sure that's when I realised it you know, when I realised that I liked you a lot more than I probably should. And I know it's pretty much useless telling you this all now, but I'm glad I at least got to tell you. I love you, Beca. And I hope wherever you end up you find peace. I'm going to miss you every day. Goodbye Beca." Aubrey just stared at the brunette, she couldn't believe this.
She looked at the soft rise and fall of Beca's chest, the black chipped nails that Beca never repainted. The messy hair and the pale skin. The sunken cheeks and bony hands. Aubrey looked, she wanted to remember what Beca looked like in her last, however long. Aubrey knew it was going to be the last time she saw Beca. She didn't think she could stand seeing Beca like this again. Sure, it was selfish, but she just couldn't do it. she didn't want to remember Beca as a sick person, Beca wouldn't want that. She would want people to remember her as the person she was before she became ill.
After a few minutes of just looking, Aubrey decided that it was time to go. So with a few words of goodbye, Aubrey left.
"Goodbye Beca, you can rest now. I love you."
Beca didn't last till the end of the week, when Aubrey received the phone call. Her heart shattered, the light had been sucked from the world and the birds stopped singing. Chloe had told her on the phone because she knew Aubrey would wan to grieve on her own, it's what she does.
Aubrey didn't sleep until the funeral, she couldn't, because all she would see was Beca's smiling face and the sunset. It haunted her.
They had the funeral on a Friday. It was a bittersweet day. Bitter because Aubrey had lost her close friend and they didn't even get to live their lives together. She will never get to see Beca meet someone and fall in love, she'll never see her get married or be a bridesmaid for Beca. She won't see her ever again and this planted a bitter seed inside of Aubrey. It's like all the colour was sucked from the world now that her friend was gone.
Glistening green grass had become plain grey. The bright blue sky was now just grey and the people around she took no notice of. She lost a friend and she couldn't get her back.
The day was also sweet, Aubrey was glad that Beca finally got to rest, the pain had stopped for the girl and Aubrey couldn't be angry because of this.
Her heart broke along with the other Bella's that day. They all said their piece of what they remembered about the alt girl. But none of them could even shine a light on what Aubrey had spoken that day. Those words will haunt everyone for as long as they can remember. Aubrey knew that they would haunt her, they already were before she had even spoken them aloud at the ceremony.
As she read on, her heart broke a little more with each word. Her gut twisted with each sentence and her throat clenched as the realisations of what she would miss out on occurred to her.
She lost her friend and there was nothing she could do to change that.
I know I said I would update every week but that was a stupid promise to make as it's the start of the last year of high school for me (I'm from NZ), so stuff's been stressful. But here is another one shot! I may do a part two, it kind of depends on the feedback etc.
Thank you š