Disclaimer: Unless I will suddenly become very rich, cool, blond and British I think I will keep saying I didn't write Harry Potter.
Why Did Sirius Black Really hate Severus Snape?
"OH MY GOD!" Severus heard a shriek from behind. He turned around slowly, dreading what he knew will come. "This is despicable! WHAT are you wearing?! The terrible crime!" continued the voice that belonged to marauder extraordinary, Sirius Black.
Severus never enjoyed Black's comments so he definitely didn't find them soothing to his ear after the exhausting day he had been through. He hates Mondays. "What are you talking about Black? And for heaven's sake don't whine in such an insufferable voice!"
Black didn't seem to be offended, more like frustrated: "But how can you not understand?! I mean, look at you, you are obviously a colour blind fashion victim and as such you need to be cured or PUNISHED!" he said a bit manically.
Severus groaned, realizing he was talking to Sirius Black, an idiot. Sighing he asked one more time: "Since when are people punished for not being in style?"
Maybe talking as if the listener was four was the way to deal with Sirius because suddenly he turned pale and asked in a frightened voice "you mean you... you haven't heard about the new police?"
"Police?" he asked startled. The colour returned to Sirius' face and that made Severus quite upset considering the fact that a happy Sirius is a very annoying one. Severus preferred his Black sad, gloomy and only partially cooked. Right now, thanks.
"Why yes!" Sirius started screaming like a mad man "Our job is to keep Hogwarts as stylish and fashionable as possible!" He then raised his hand in a very superman-ish manner.
Now it was Severus' pale face turn to become paler. "Who gave you the authority to found such a thing?" The famous grin had appeared on Sirius' face, God! Severus hated that grin.
"It was the most fabulous person in the world," Sirius cried doing a little twirl "Dumbledy! But that is of no importance right now. Your fashion sense however is! MAKEOVER" he said, clearly excited. Severus started to run as fast as his legs could go, not before thinking: that was so gay.
It seemed like Sirius finally realized Severus was running away as he yelled: "No, no, no! We start with the cloths and only then move to weight defects". He was still for a moment but the fact that Severus continued to run caused Sirius to chase him. Only he, quite obviously, was way faster then Severus, catching up with him quickly.
Severus turned his head and shouted while panting: "Go... away.... you... lunati-" he was interrupted as he suddenly bumped right into Professor Dumbledore' beard "Sorry Professor! It's just that-". "Dumbledy, he is refusing the makeover!" Sirius cut in, not panting at all, noticed Severus, damn him and his spectacular fitness.
Well, that was it! He had an extremely horrid day, found out he has absolutely zero fitness and now on top of that he is supposed to have a makeover done by Sirius Black and sponsored by the Headmaster? Severus couldn't take it anymore. "I won't have a makeover and that's final!" he screeched.
"Think Sirius. Remember what we said? One student refusing and your plans are canceled." Albus said in a calm voice as if no one bumped into him, called him Dumbledy, started screeching in front of him etc.
Severus could feel the drama in the air. Sirius' mouth opened slightly, eyes wide like tennis balls then he fell to his knees, wailing: "NO, WHY GOD, WHY???"
That's why Sirius Black really hated Severus Snape.
A\N- It took me only 20 minutes to write it (mostly in the bathroom) but it took me a month to actually type it. Wow! I'm lame. When I showed this story to friends and family they said: "That's a really good one"- A, my best friend, "Why is Sirius so gay?"- B, a friend, "How could you dishonor Sirius like that?! Shame on you!"- E, supportive brother. What do you think? Review! (c: (Such a cute smiley).
She Who Named Her Coat
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