It was not Dogmeat crawling into MacCready's too-small bed, nor the green lighting and clicking of the nearby Geiger counter that woke him up. Both of those common nocturnal annoyances barely registered with him. Interestingly enough, it also was not the nightmare where Lucy screams in agony and pain while the ghouls devour her either. Rather, it was a faint metallic shriek that seemed to emanate from everywhere in the small valley.
Sitting up, MacCready counted the occupied beds in the communal sleeping shack. There were the nine other companions and the 14 settlers of Sanctuary Hills, but in the faint light he could not be sure. He sat up in his bed and noticed Dogmeat pacing by the door, his ears back and head low.
That is when he noticed the empty bed. A flash of lighting illuminated the room and he could tell that the bed closest to the door was empty and stripped of its threadbare sheets and blankets; they lay on the floor off to the side of the bed, as if the occupant could not get them off fast enough.
"Sh…oot! Crap, crap, darn it!" Trying to suppress his rising panic, he threw on his boots and raced into the storm. Rushing next door to the workstation, he found it unoccupied and not a single tool out of place. He glanced across the street and saw nothing moving in the house surrounded by the barbed wire fence
Whistling sharply for Dogmeat to heel, he scratched the dog behind the ears and kneeled in front of him.
"Okay boy, want to play a game?" Dogmeat's tail started to dance. Derek had recently discovered Dogmeat's incredible ability to track people across unheard of distances and now MacCready hoped Dogmeat could work another miracle. He pulled out a small bundle of old-world money that Derek had kept with him for quite a while and held it up to Dogmeat.
"Okay boy. Find Derek! Find!" Sniffing excitedly, Dogmeat turned in a few circles before trotting along the road. Following the road down a ways until they came to a small dirt path blocked off by a padlocked gate – installed at Derek's insistence that it would stop raiders from attacking. Alarmingly, the padlock lay broken on the ground and the gate was wide open. Although the vandalism worried MacCready, the pool of blood around the gate scared him.
Looking around, MacCready realized that Dogmeat had already abandoned him at the gate and had run farther down the path into the green haze. Following the trail – and the blood – MacCready crested a hill onto the remnants a small military encampment. Mercenary instincts kicked in and he scoured the numerous bins and containers for med kits, but found nothing but rotted books and rusted remains of metal apparatuses.
"Maybe Derek would want this crap." Frustrated, he threw a broken microscope back into a box and looked around for Dogmeat. Calling him, the excited barking drew MacCready back to the center of the lot, onto a raised platform where Dogmeat stood in the center, pawing at the concrete floor and whining. Finally, the iconic gear shape painted in the middle of the platform pulled up a memory from MacCready's youth.
"Oh man. This is a vault, isn't it? How do I open it?" No sooner had he finished speaking than did Dogmeat race off into a small trailer nearby. There was a faint click and then a jarring shriek as the platform started to drop. Dogmeat loped back onto the platform and patiently stood by MacCready as the platform slowly dropped down the shaft, the darkness lit occasionally by the sickening green lighting of the radiation storm overhead.
After several minutes, the platform reached its end and a chain link gate lifted allowing MacCready and Dogmeat to get off. Taking a few hesitant steps off the elevator, the gate sung close behind them and a click from a nearby console sent the elevator shrieking back up the shaft.
"Spooky. Dogmeat stay close, alright?" MacCready glanced to his side but Dogmeat had already ran off, the faint clicking of Dogmeat's nails as he raced deeper into the vault taunted MacCready. Soon the clicking faded and MacCready was alone in the still quiet of the vault.
"Ass…dummy. Freaking dummy." Pulling his pistol out, MacCready walked further into the vault.
After a few fruitless laps looking for Derek or Dogmeat (and nearly being killed by the nuclear generators), MacCready collapsed into a chair in a shabby office in the back of the vault. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he noticed that the terminal in front of him had a blinking command line. He pressed a key and a list of report title flashed up on the screen. Habitually glancing around to make sure no one was watching he began reading the reports, his horror growing with each one.
"What the hell? No!" Stumbling back from the computer, he tripped and fell over the chair. He pulled himself free and saw Dogmeat standing at the doorway regarding him with an impatient look.
"Hey! You abandoned me, jerk!" Issuing a thin whine, Dogmeat turned, and with a quick glance over his shoulder started down the hallway. Taking his hint, MacCready quickly scrambled to his feet and followed suit.
As they moved away from the humming reactor, MacCready finally heard the crying, weak, quiet, and occasionally broken by a series of incoherent sounds. The hair rose on the back of his neck as MacCready rounded a corner and saw a sight straight from one of his horror comics.
Derek hunched over what appeared to be a frozen body on the stimpak littered ground, his body blocking the head and upper body. As MacCready tried to take it all in, Derek grabbed another stimpak from his pocket and plunged it into the half-frozen body, his hushed pleas for the woman to wake up finally coherent.
"Oh god, no, no no! Nora, Nora, please honey, please get up! You're okay, you're okay. Nora, please, please, please. C'mon, c'mon. Nora!" Derek's voice broke on the last Nora and he started sobbing again. MacCready cautiously picked his way down the walkway closer to his friend, Dogmeat following close behind him.
"Hey, Derek? You okay?" Derek startled and pulled his silenced pistol from its holster and pointed directly at MacCready's face. Sinking to his knees in an attempt to reduce his profile, MacCready stole a glance at face of the fabled Sole Survivor of Vault 111, where he had always seen warmth, a slight smile, and a zeal for life. Instead, the eyes of the stranger in front of MacCready were dead and empty – they were the eyes of a man gone from the world. Dogmeat's low growl set MacCready's nerves on edge, and he tried to remain as low and as calm as possible.
"Derek, it's me, MacCready? Okay? Come on, Boss. Put the gun down please." The stranger's face twitched and the gun jerked away for a second. But it came right back again, wavering and untrained.
"Help me, please! It's my wife, she's not breathing, help!" Derek dropped the gun, lunged, and grabbed MacCready by the arm. Yanking him over to Nora's corpse, MacCready finally got a look at the woman. The first thing he noticed was her delicate face frozen permanently into a state of frenzied panic and the blood from a bullet wound splattered in her dark brown hair, but looking beyond all that, MacCready could see that she was beautiful – just like Lucy. MacCready's heart sank as it finally dawned on him just who Nora was.
They had all heard the story, how Derek witnessed his wife's murder and his child's abduction, but Derek had made it sound like it was a long time ago and that he had moved on. From the amount of trash in the room, however, MacCready knew that Derek spent a lot of time here.
"Derek, listen. She's…she's not going to wake up. She's dead, Boss. I'm so sorry." Derek made a strangled sound and collapsed onto the ground, violently jerking and shaking while screaming in agony and despair.
"Oh god, Derek! Dogmeat, find a stimpak! Go!" Dogmeat raced off, leaving MacCready alone with Derek.
MacCready had known his friend still grieved. It was in the way he would spend no more than a few hours at Sanctuary Hills and how he still wore his ring. But MacCready had no idea how deeply the grief ran – or if Derek could understand what was going on around him. Scared and unsure, he let Derek continue. After a couple of minutes, the shaking stopped and the rocking lessened.
"Hey, Boss. You doing okay?" Derek stopped rocking and shot up to his knees, his eyes bright and a wide, toothy smile plastered to his face.
"Oh thank god you're here! My wife is right over there, Doc. Please, just tell me what's wrong with her!"
"Derek. That's not why I'm here. It's me, MacCready. Boss, are you okay?" The smile stayed fixed on Derek's face but his eyes dimmed and shuttered again. Before MacCready could react, Derek picked up his gun and pointed it at his temple.
"Oh shit! Derek, don't!" A brown blur raced in and lunged at Derek, knocking him down. His head hit the walkway; the impact hollowly rang out through the vault. Underneath the hollow tone, Dogmeat trying to lick the tears from his master's face interrupted Derek's sobs.
MacCready kicked the gun away and confiscated Derek's knife. Satisfied that Derek was safe, he plunged the stimpak into Derek's arm and waited as the meds raced into his system. Tossing it aside, MacCready recalled Dogmeat and tucking a note that said, "Bring Help. Fast", sent him to find Piper. Eventually the squealing of the elevator began again and MacCready finally took a breath.
Once the noise of the elevator reduced to a more manageable din, MacCready stuck his hand out and smiled when Derek took it. Pulling him up, the two rose and stood in the dim room surrounded by frozen bodies and chilled air. An automated message relayed that the life support system had failed and that all vault occupants were to evacuate the vault immediately. Letting out a pained laugh, Derek sank to his knees and bit his arm bloody as he shrieked hysterically.
Fighting every instinct to silence him, MacCready slowly sat down beside his friend and gently laid an arm over Derek's shoulders. He let Derek scream until his voice gave out and found himself talking to Derek about the first thing that came to mind; Lucy.
"You know, I did the same thing when Lucy first died. All I could do for a while was sit there, scream, and cry. And drink." He pulled out a small flask and offered it to Derek. The contents inside might have been strong enough to strip paint, but the burn had helped ease MacCready's pain and it seemed to help Derek who, sputtering and gasping, drained the flask.
"I won't sit here and tell you it'll all be okay. Or that you'll feel better one day. I don't think that's what you need or want. But, I know you need to hear that it's okay to cry." Swallowing his own tears, MacCready shared of his story of grief.
"It was hard, really hard. There were weeks where it was all I could do to wake up, grab Duncan, and keep walking for hours. But Duncan would get so hungry, and he would cry so loudly. Eventually I'd have to find him food." MacCready smiled as he remembered some of his first attempts at cooking.
"And at night, when I was so tired I couldn't move, that's when it was the worst. My gun was always right there, always loaded with at least two bullets. I figured we both deserved to be with her, you see." He sighed and shifted so he was leaning against one of the cryogenic pods.
"But then I'd hear Duncan crying in his sleep or babbling at whatever little thing he had seen and suddenly, the gun was just too heavy. The bullets just…so final, you know?
"Now, I know your boy Shaun's missing, but I swear we'll find him. And until then, I just want you to know, I'm always here if you want to talk."
Derek looked up, and even though his eyes were red and swollen, MacCready could see the faintest glint of happiness again. He rose and offered a hand to Derek, who did not take it; but rather shifted around and ran a hand through Nora's frosted hair.
"Her name was Nora." His voice, usually so loud and warm, was weak and quiet.
"She was everything I had ever wanted in a wife. She was smart, funny, patient, and had the kindest heart I had ever seen. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. I used to call her my Lady Justice. She hated that stupid name, but I loved her passion for helping others, for wanting to better the world." Derek reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of folded leather, opened it, and pulled out a picture. It was faded and creased but it showed Derek and Nora at a park, looking into each other's eyes. MacCready almost felt he was intruding into this life, but seeing the warmth and love in the lovers' eyes MacCready felt tears start to well in his eyes.
"Derek, I wish I could say something more than I'm sorry." Derek smiled sadly at the picture and put it back into the folded leather case.
"Thanks MacCready. I guess I forgot how just much I hurt." The pair stood and MacCready found himself unexpectedly wrapped in a hug. He panicked at first, but found himself relaxing and returned the embrace warmly. It was not until he felt moisture on his cheek did he realize he had been crying on Derek's shirt. Embarrassed, MacCready stepped back and sniffled, wiping the tears off his cheeks.
"Hey, MacCready." Derek wiped the tears off of MacCready's cheeks and pulled him back into a hug.
"Thank you for being my friend. It…it really means a lot." Choking back the lump in his throat, MacCready managed to nod. The pair parted as the familiar screech of the elevator started again.
"By the way, how did you know that Dogmeat could operate the elevator?"
Shrugging, MacCready sheepishly replied, "I didn't. Just hoped." Derek let out a snort of laughter, but soon the pair doubled over laughing on the ground as the entirety of Sanctuary stormed into the room. Taking in the stimpaks, the frozen corpse, and the laughing men, Piper summed it up the best, "the hell is wrong with you morons?"
This, of course only sent MacCready and Derek into even deeper hysterics, and soon the entire group was laughing.
A few hours – and a hurried visit to Curie – later, Derek stepped out onto the porch of his old house and invited the town inside. He walked them through the remnants of his life, the bedroom he and Nora shared, the kitchen where they shared every meal, and even Shaun's room. The whole time he shared memories of his neighbors, like Miss Evans who was Shaun's godmother and Mr. Roberts, Codsworth greatest rival in the "Best Sanctuary Lawn" competition, but the closest friend of the family. He talked about how they lived – and how they died.
Codsworth shared his own stories and anecdotes about his experience as the pair began walking the group through the neighborhood, fleshing out the hollowed houses and describing the neighborhood as they remembered. As they walked, Piper began writing down their stories – vowing to turn it into a book they could all remember it by – and Valentine began sketching the houses as they looked before the bombs dropped.
Derek took them to Vault 111 and talked about surviving the bombings. Taking them down the path he took to his pod over 200 years ago, he showed them the corpses of his friends, neighbors, and Nora. The gathered town bowed their heads as Derek told their story.
He started with their brief courtship, her graduation, and his sudden deployment to the wars. Then Shaun tumbled into the story and Derek talked of their hopes and dreams for the future.
He was going to get a job with a factory and she was going to start working at a law firm just outside of Boston. Shaun was going to start at a home daycare with a neighbor and Derek was going to take night classes to get a technical degree. They were going to get a dog, and then they were going to celebrate their anniversary with a… but he could not go any further and let his voice die. Concerned, the townspeople stood around him in the chilled room, silent save for the occasional announcement from the PA.
Derek turned from the group and walked up to Nora's pod; laying a hand against it, he took a shuddering breath and leaned his forehead against the frosted glass.
"I want to give them all a burial. No more ice, no more darkness. They deserve a proper funeral." Derek picked his head up and stared intently into Nora's closed eyes.
"I need this. No more secrets, no more hiding it away. They're dead, and I want to honor that." Strong moved through the crowd and clapped Derek on the back.
"Strong help Der-rek. Der-rek is friend, Strong help friend." Not wasting a moment, Strong ripped the door off the pod nearest him releasing a great cloud of steam and the body trapped within. The group stared at the body on the ground with shock and horror on their faces. But Derek smiled and grabbed Strong's wrist.
"Strong, thank you." Derek wrapped his arms as far around Strong's body as they could go and, surprisingly, Strong returned the gesture. The crowd cheered and began trying to pry open the doors, hacking the terminals to override the lockdown, and helping to cart the remains to the elevator.
Preston and Hancock quickly took charge of the operations, directing people and organizing timelines of when the project would be complete. Deacon, Valentine, and Codsworth began trying to find a way to circumvent both the electronic locks and the locked down panels beside the pods while Danse and Strong either shot or ripped open the pods that would not release. Curie enlisted Dogmeat and Cait to distribute food and water to the settlers and with checking in on Derek who sat alone in the office, reading over the logs on the computer. However, Piper and MacCready stole off to the side, grabbing Valentine as they found a secluded corner.
After about three hours, the pods lay bare and their occupants were loaded onto the elevator. The companions, save Danse, MacCready, Piper, and Valentine, all rode the elevator up with the settlers and corpses. After the elevator started the long journey up, the four companions found Derek still in the office spinning his wedding ring over the scarred desk as he read over the reports again.
"Hey, Boss? We wanted to let you know we got all the pods emptied." Derek's shoulders dropped and he put his ring back on.
"Well, almost all the pods, Blue." Piper gestured Valentine forward and he pulled out the metal contraption from behind his back.
"You see, Blue, we know that you try and act like all of this – the vault, the cryosleep – doesn't bother you, but we know that is a load of shit." Derek spun in his chair and stared quizzically at the four of them, Valentine handed him the metal loop.
"You see, Derek, although you can smile and act happy for most of us, some of us know you too damn well. We see the bullshit, but we didn't know what to do until now."
"That's why we made this. It's a bracelet for you, Boss. You wear that, and we know you're okay. But if you ever need help with anything, you just take it off. Don't even have to give it to us. Just take it off, and we'll know." As Derek rose to take the bracelet, Danse saluted his friend, "you're not alone in this fight. Not ever, soldier. Understood?"
Derek examined the bracelet. Woven out of a series of wires and tubes with various items and baubles woven within it, Derek realized each of the items represented someone. There was a piece of a pen, some fine filament, pieces of caps, wires twisted into various shapes, even a few lengths of chain. Derek slipped it on and was surprised how light it was, shaking his wrist, he was pleased at how little the bracelet slipped and how quiet it was.
"Thank you. I guess sometimes…I forget that I'm not alone. I'm sorry that I worried you all." He pulled them into another hug and led them to the final body in the vault. Gathering on the elevator once more, Derek punched the button to start it and looked over his tomb for over 200 years.
"I hope this place caves in."
"You know what, Blue? So do we all."
"I wanted to personally thank you all for helping me. 200 years ago, I thought I was loved, happy, and in an unbreakable streak of good luck. Though I was loved, and I was happy, Fate proved that nothing is promised to any of us, ever. In the space of less than two hours, I found not only my future, but my life stolen from my loved ones and me. The bombs fell, and I watched as their fire swept over everything. A few minutes later, Vault-tec told me my future was safe as they closed the doors over our pods.
"But it wasn't. Nothing was safe. Vault-tec lied to us, and locked us away in the dark for the rest of time. In spite of the depravity of that action, not even that was the end of my suffering. I later found myself awoken by a man who not only killed my wife, my love, but also stole my son, my life, managing to do what Vault-tec couldn't and ruining my life. I later escaped and found myself surrounded by violence and death. I saw first-hand just how badly the world was hurting.
"But instead of finding only darkness, I found sparks of hope and of life. I worked with a man who fought to help the helpless. I met a woman trying to bring light to the injustices no one knew about. I was saved by a mayor trying to be the best man he could be. I teamed up with a soldier trying to save us from ourselves. I found my oldest friend working tirelessly to keep order in his home. I rescued a dog who only wanted a friend. I recruited a fighter seeking a better life and a warrior seeking enlightenment. I even teamed up with a robot to save a boy's life! I was helped by an outcast who brings closure and answers to those who need them most, and I joined by a man campaigning endlessly for the slaves of a cruel master. I also found a man who needed to find hope, like me. Through these women and men I am honored to now call friends, I learned that the world I left behind was not dead, but dormant. And by sharing it with all of you, I found it waking up piece by piece.
"There's still so much pain in the Commonwealth, and the world. But, that is for tomorrow. Today, you brought light and healing to a man torn out of time against his will. That man didn't want help, but he needed it.
"From the bottom of that man's heart, thank you all. You did not have to save him, but you all chose to. That is how we will eventually repair the hurt that surrounds us. Not by saving the world, but by helping those who need our help whenever we can." Derek stepped down from the small dais next to the graves and picked up the shovel. Throwing a bit of dirt onto the tarp covering the corpses seven colonists let out volleys of shots.
Those not participating in the volley grabbed shovels and began filling the large grave with dirt. By sunset, the task was completed, and the settlers wandered off to get ready for the night. Soon only Derek, MacCready, Piper, and Danse stood at the graveside in silence, the darkening night revealing the stars and the moon.
"You ready to head back Boss?" Derek smiled and pulled out the bracelet from a pocket. He slipped it on a smiled at the waxing moon.
"Yeah, let's go home."
EPILOGUE
"Dad, what is this place?" The small voice echoed around the empty vault as Derek walked down the walkway.
This is where everything started."
Derek had avoided taking the boy to the vault but a nagging feeling of doubt still clung heavily to him. He knew what the recording said, but he had to be sure.
"What started Dad?" The voice, made strident by the silence, caused Derek to grit his teeth to stop from snapping.
"Shaun, Derek means that this is the vault you, he, and your mom were frozen in." MacCready took Shaun's hand and kept walking down the walkway as Derek took deep breaths to calm down. He knew it would be hard to return to the vault, but he had not realized how furious he would be. The Imposter's ignorance, MacCready's tenderness, even the coolness of the air was aggravating to him. Lost in thought he did not hear the footsteps until they stopped just in front of him and a hand ran softly up his arm. MacCready's gentle voice cut through the din in Derek's head, "hey, Boss. You doing okay?"
Unable to speak, Derek laboriously took off his bracelet and put it in his pocket. MacCready pulled him into a hug, softly murmuring and humming as Derek began to cry.
"Dad! Dad are you okay?" Finally responding to the insistent tugging on his sleeve, Derek knelt down in front of the robot.
"I don't know what to do. I want to be your dad – I really do. But I'm not your dad."
"What do you mean? You are my dad!" The Boy's eyes started to gleam with tears and Derek smiled sadly, feeling unexpectedly protective of the boy.
"No, you're a young man now. You've become your own person by now, and I don't know how to feel. I wanted to find you earlier, but I was too late. You're not my baby boy and I don't know what to do about that." Shaun looked down, unsure of himself. Sensing the tension, MacCready knelt down with Derek.
"Listen, Shaun, a lot has changed. And I know your dad still loves you – but what he's saying is that, if you want to, one of us could watch you until you're both ready. Your dad still loves you, but it might be hard for the both of you for a while." Shaun looked directly into Derek's eyes and Derek could not help but to be moved by the genuine look of fear and sadness in those artificial eyes.
"You really do love me, even though I'm not the right boy?" His voice was so weak and timid it broke both men's hearts.
"You are my son. Now and forever, Shaun. I'll never stop loving you – ever. What I'm saying is that I need to learn to love you, the real you in front of me." Wrapping his son in his arms, Derek held Shaun as tears and sobs wracked his small body. The tears eventually stopped and the sobs faded into occasional hiccups.
"Okay. I want to stay with you Dad. I'm sorry I'm not the right boy, but I still want to be your son."
"Shaun, you are the right boy. You were stolen from me and grew into this incredible young man. Never forget that I love you, no matter how old you are. Now go ahead and meet us at the elevator, I'll be right there." Rising from the ground, Shaun ran ahead to the elevator and MacCready wrapped his arm around Derek's waist. Derek instinctually leaned into the comforting firmness of the man beside him.
"I think you did the right thing, for what it's worth." Derek did not respond, only sighing as his actions over the past 48 hours washed over him again. Not only had he slain his friend's commander, but he had also killed his biological son and countless scientists and soldiers – how could he live with that?
"Listen, Derek. I was thinking. I want to go back to the Capitol Wasteland and bring Duncan here, with me. I think it's past time to really move forward with my life, no more hiding behind half-truths and fears."
Derek stepped away from MacCready and began rocking slightly, muttering and violently shaking his head.
"Hey! Are you guys coming? I want to play with Dogmeat!" MacCready waited for Derek to respond and when Derek only continued rocking, MacCready shook his head, "think about it, alright? I don't leave a week anyway, so we have some time." Getting no response, MacCready gave up and fled to the elevator.
Finally alone, Derek let himself finally breathe. He counted down the breaths and counted up the time held, practicing the exercise Curie had taught him. Eventually the panic passed and he found he could move again. Joining the others at the elevator, he closed the gate and listened to the screech as they climbed up the shaft.
"MacCready."
"Boss?"
"I like your idea – one catch." MacCready arched and eyebrow, confused by Derek's sudden change of heart.
"What is that catch?"
"I want to come with you. You need someone to watch your back. Plus," he pulled out the wedding band he had been carrying since the moment he had stepped out of the vault and slipped it onto MacCready's finger, "you're mine. And I don't want to be alone ever again."
MacCready gaped at the ring, "But what about Nora? I thought you said…"
"I said I still love her, and I do. I always will. But I love you too, and I've learned that sometimes we just need to swallow our fear and take a blind leap. Will you catch me?"
"Always." Pulling him close, MacCready kissed him chastely. However, Derek grabbed him and pulled him closer, the both of them finally finding a way to communicate everything they felt.
"Dad! That's gross! Eww!" Blushing furiously, the pair parted and blushed deeply. Clearing his throat, Derek spoke first.
"Well…want to head back?" Whooping, Shaun raced ahead of the pair, shouting for Dogmeat. Derek started to follow him down the path, but turned and held out a hand for MacCready.
"You coming, MacCready?"
"You lead, I follow. That was our deal, right?"
"Always."