Someone Like You.
I own nadda. I'm just playing with some characters I love.
For Shelby and Els and anyone else who read my Stargate fics way back in the day.
(This is a re-edited version thanks to some constructive feedback I received on the day of posting originally. Thank you peoples! Havent written SG fic in years!)
Samantha Carter stood quietly at the window of the ornate room in which she had spent the previous evening, nervously watching the day unfold in the breathtaking grounds outside. The long white gown that she was now wearing made her seem almost ethereal as rays of sunlight filtered through the painted glass, hitting the delicate crystals that framed the flowing skirt and the perfectly sculpted bodice and making them sparkle wildly, while her stunning golden hair - full of soft curls and adorned with tiny pink flowers - was pinned up carefully at the back of her head; loose ringlets framing her beautiful face.
She couldn't believe that the day was finally here. The day that they had waited for, for over twelve years, which at times had seemed like it would never come...would never be possible... would never quite be in their grasp no matter how much they wanted each other...loved each other more than words could ever describe. For so long they had been unable to act upon the feelings that were developing ever more deeply between them, unable to acknowledge the love that had blossomed and continued to grow in the face of adversity which at times had made carrying on seemed almost incomprehensible. Yet here she was after those many torturous years of waiting...of aching for the man whose brown eyes had always held the capacity to make her legs feel weak underneath her and to make her heart race, watching him through the window of the hotel in which they had chosen the grounds to hold their wedding ceremony; the man for whom she held such love that it was incomparable to anything she had felt for anyone else in her life. She was watching him knowing that in minutes she would be walking down the aisle in which he now stood entertaining the arriving guests, pledging herself and her life to be intertwined with his own. The only moment she ever thought that she had been happier had been on the Christmas Eve past when she had opened up a beautifully carved box that he had made by his own hand and left under the Christmas tree for her with a little note that said 'open me' and seen a simple yet stunning diamond ring ensconced inside. 'Marry me?' He had whispered as he nervously knelt down on one knee in front of her. 'Yes.' She had replied in a matter of seconds, before she found him carefully placing the ring upon her index finger and after which he took her into his arms and held her close for hours, unable to believe that his dreams had finally come true.
As she saw a wide smile appear upon the gentle face she was watching, a wave of fear overcame her and not for the first time that morning she felt herself tremble. It was a fear that had set into her heart just hours after she had woken and a fear which had refused to leave her...a feeling accompanied by a sadness so crippling that it was all she could do not to cry. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry him. She did. Oh God she wanted to marry him; she wanted to be with him for the rest of their days...to grow old together...to share the life that so many of their counterparts in alternate universes had tried so desperately to obtain...but things were more complicated now and she wasn't sure that he would be ready to commit to marrying her if he knew just how much his life was going to change after having done so. What if he married her and then walked away when she gently broke the news to him? What if he stayed out of obligation when really he wanted to run a mile? What if he considered himself to be just too old for what she needed so desperately to tell him? She knew that she needed to speak to him before the ceremony. She needed to know where things stood after she turned their world on its axis in a way that they hadn't yet considered despite years of being in the most committed relationship either had found themselves in, in their lives. Why on their wedding day did things have to become such a beautiful mess she wondered as her eyes took in the form of the man she very much wanted to marry, and why on the happiest day of her life did her heart feel like it could break into a million tiny pieces?
Carefully Sam walked over to the bed, and even more carefully she sat down on it so as not to crease the beautiful gown that Vala and Cassie, her Maid of Honour, had helped her to choose. A lone tear rolled down her cheek as her hand fell to her abdomen and she thought of the girl who had been so lovingly raised by her late best friend until her untimely death, something which had torn so many in the SGC apart. Not only was she worried about the news that she had for Jack which might just drive him away from her , from their relationship on the day they were due to marry, but there were so many people absent that day that she would have liked to have been there, who should have been there...who she could have spoken to about her news and had some comfort from before she found the courage to broach the subject with her fiancé. It tore her to pieces that they weren't there with them and her thoughts went to wherever they had found themselves. She truly hoped that they were looking down on proceedings, that she had their blessing and most of all that they were with her on the day that she needed them all the most.
As she subconsciously traced her fingertips in circular pattern over her belly, the patterned gown slightly rough against their soft skin, a figure entered the room to which Sam was oblivious; one who became worried for her immediately when she didn't respond to his softly calling her name. It was only when the mattress dipped beside her that she saw that Daniel had entered the room which had been her home for the last thirteen hours and taken residence at her side; his blue eyes sparkling and a concerned expression appearing upon his tired yet attractive features.
"Thought I'd see how you were holding up. Not long to go." He commented, his eyes firmly on her and his calloused hand taking hers into his own as she tried to suppress a sob. "You're not holding up are you?" He then asked her as she failed miserably to battle against tears.
Sam shook her head. The hand Daniel wasn't holding now trembled in her lap.
"Oh Sam...If this isn't what you want, it isn't too late to..." He started, reaching out to her and rubbing her back in circular motions.
She shook her head wildly.
"It's not that. I do want it. I've wanted this..."
"For as long as we've all known each other?" Daniel offered; a glint in his eye.
"About that long yeah." Sam replied with a blush and a small smile, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I just...I wish they were here...General Hammond...my Dad...Janet..."
Daniel looked a completely different man – a broken one – as she mentioned Janet's name. She felt a distinct twinge in her heart for him at that moment for she could see that the loss he was feeling was just as great as her own.
"Sorry...I should have thought... I know how you felt about her..." Sam apologised softly but Daniel shook his head.
"Don't be sorry. We need to talk about her. To keep her alive. I wish she was here too. She would have loved to see you and Jack finally married. I would have loved to have her here at my side...to have married her one day even...not that I don't love Vala, don't get me wrong I do...but Janet..." He sighed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
"I really could have done with her here today Daniel." Sam responded desperately as Daniel looked at the carpet, a tear rolling down his cheek. "General Hammond and Dad too of course, a father should be part of his daughter's wedding right? and the General...he was like a second father to me. To all of us. But Janet...? There's this thing going on right now that I would give anything to talk to her about...anything to hear what she had to say..."
Daniel studied her carefully.
"I'm here." He reassured her. "If it helps."
Sam took a deep breath and looked at her friend, more tears threatening to fall.
"I'm just not sure that marriage is going to be what Jack wants when I tell him what I found out this morning. In fact I think he's going to run for the hills...or the nearest Stargate." She added with a sigh.
"He loves you Sam. He worships the ground you walk on. Why would you think that? If you could see the way that he's talking to the guests about the wedding...about spending his retirement with you...the rest of hi s life..."
"That's the problem." Sam responded promptly, looking at the floor. "I don't think either of us banked on his retirement being filled with dirty diapers and a crying newborn..."
She looked up at the wide eyed, open mouthed expression of her closest friend and couldn't help but smile slightly at the shock so evident on his face.
"I did a pregnancy test this morning. It was positive. Can you look me in the eye and tell me that he's still going to want to marry me when he finds out that the peaceful life we planned at his cabin isn't going to happen for at least another eighteen years?"
"You're...pr...wow...really? Jack...wow..."
"Way to be reassuring Daniel." She replied to his incoherent mumblings, her mind playing back over the moment when she had shakily found herself looking at the positive sign on the test she had taken just three hours ago, both fear and joy gripping her simultaneously in a way that she had never thought possible. She walked back over to the window, her eyes falling to her lover once again. He looked so happy as he greeted their friends. Was her news going to change that? Would she be walking down the aisle that day to meet a happy Jack O'Neill at the end? Would she be walking down the aisle at all?
"Sam..." Daniel called quietly, his heart aching due to the palpable fear that she felt.
"Can you go get him for me? As terrified as I am of him walking away he deserves to know about the baby before he commits to our relationship even more than he already has..." She whispered, not even turning around.
"He's not going to walk away. You know Jack...he'll be stunned to silence for a while and then he'll be ecstatic. This child is part of him. He would never begrudge it and he would never leave you."
"He wants a quiet life. After everything we've been through these past twelve years. This baby...it's going to change that. It's going to change everything."
"Maybe that's not a bad thing." Daniel reassured her, walking up behind her and putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "When Charlie died Jack lost his chance to be a father to his child. This is a second chance. .. a precious second chance for him to do it again."
"I never thought...I never thought I'd fall pregnant...after Jolinar...after years of gate travel. It's a miracle. A terrifying miracle that we never even discussed." She admitted turning around, a smile forming on her lips as her hand again rested on her stomach but then quickly evaporating. "But we should have discussed it Daniel. We should have spoken about it, because then if we'd gotten to this point and I'd found out...I'd have known where we stood instead of having to tear him away from our wedding to possibly break his heart."
"This isn't going to break his heart. Knowing you're worrying yourself sick about it is." Daniel comforted. "That man down there has loved you from almost the moment he laid eyes on you. He's been there through everything trying to protect you and take care of you. I'll get him up here so you can tell him and give him the choice to walk...but he won't. I honestly believe that he won't." Daniel added, placing a hand on her stomach. "You'll make a wonderful mother Samantha Carter. Congratulations." He told her quietly, kissing her on the forehead before leaving her alone with her unborn baby and her thoughts.
So lost in them was she that once again she didn't hear anyone enter the room. It was only when a gentle touch brushed a stray hair from her face and a tender kiss was planted behind her ear that she realised that he was behind her. Her heart began to pound.
"Danny boy told me that you needed to talk to me. Said it was important. I...this...are we still...? We are still gettin' married right?" He asked her, his voice shaking.
The absolute fear in his voice touched and tore at her heart in equal measure and a whimper quickly escaped her lips. Strong arms immediately pulled her against her lovers body which then began rocking her comfortingly as he nuzzled his face against her neck.
"What's goin' on sweetheart?" He whispered with so much emotion that it was all she could do to stop herself from completely breaking down.
She turned herself in her arms that she was facing him, her face streaked with tears and her body trembling.
"You look beautiful." He told her, his mouth agape as he took in the figure hugging dress and beautifully feminine hair.
"So do you." She whispered in response, drinking in how handsome he looked in his black tuxedo and thinking how lucky she was to have the only man she had ever truly wanted waiting to marry her that day...unless...
"I prefer to think I'm handsome." He replied with a smile. "Oh Sam." He stated as her face crumpled. "Please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded, angling her face by placing gentle fingertips under her chin so that blue eyes met brown.
"I found out something this morning which we never...we never really spoke about and I am so terrified it's going to make you run." She admitted, fighting against his hand so that she could look at the floor.
"What could ever make me run from you after twelve years?" He asked her honestly, taking her hands in his and squeezing them gently.
"Oh I dunno. The fact that your quiet retirement and our quiet life together is no longer going to be quiet. The fact that I'm carrying the baby we've never even discussed conceiving and now everything's a mess." She admitted, pulling her hands to her abdomen, his still enclosed in them.
Sam still found herself unable to look at him and when he didn't respond and stood rigid in his place the fear she had felt that morning multiplied. She had truly lost him. He didn't want them if it meant bringing up a child. He no longer wanted to be with her. She tried to pull away from him as sobs again so easily overcame her but he wouldn't let her go. He wouldn't move.
"I'm sorry." She told him sincerely. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think it would...I mean I always thought our chances of conceiving were going to be pretty slim. I wanted to tell you before the wedding so that if you didn't want this you could go...so I didn't marry you and then tell you something that you didn't want to be part of..." She rambled. "I'm sorry Jack..."
"I'm not." He whispered so quietly that she almost didn't hear it. "I already knew."
Sam stood there stunned and after a minute brought her blue eyes to meet his sparkling brown ones.
"You've been tired, irritable, nauseous... I've been through it before remember? I'd already guessed about the baby." He admitted a little sheepishly. "I just didn't want to push you. I wanted you to get used to it...to find out for yourself and come to terms with it before I broached it with you."
"You knew? You knew and you let me worry like this?" She almost shouted, hitting her fists against his chest. "Why didn't you say something? If I'd have known before...do you have any idea how scared I've been that you'd not want to marry me today? That you'd want to leave?" She shouted.
"I would never, ever leave you. Never. Pregnant or not pregnant. " He replied calmly, not wanting to agitate her anymore. Not wanting to do anything to risk the child whom he had already grown to love so much. He took her trembling hands in his and held them at her sides.
"I've stuck around for this long. Do you really think I'd run away now...from you and from you carrying our baby of all things?" He asked, placing a palm on her stomach.
"But your retirement..." She whispered softly.
"Is overrated. It's nothing compared to dirty diapers and wailing babies..." He teased, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes as she frowned at his highlighting the negatives. "And being a stay at home father who wants nothing more than to hold that baby you're carrying inside of you and sing her to sleep, to hear her first words, to see her crawl, to see her first steps...and to see just how much of a mommys girl she's going to grow up to be."
"You want this."
"I want this." He mirrored, bringing her hand to his lips and gently kissing her knuckles. "God Sam I've never wanted anything more than to marry you and be a daddy to what's going to be a beautiful baby."
"She might not be beautiful. She might take after you." Sam teased, smiling through her tears.
Jack smiled in response.
"With our genes she's going to be stunning." He replied, pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead. "I love you." He whispered against her soft skin, then kneeling on the floor and kissing her stomach through her dress "And daddy loves you too." He whispered to their child, looking up at Sam happily, his joy now mirrored in her own.
"But I have to ask. You want this too right? If you don't then we can discuss it. Having a geriatric father for your child can't be a thrilling prospect for a breathtaking beauty such as yourself." He tried to joke, but she could hear the seriousness in his words.
Sam ruffled his hair and knelt down so that they were both on the same level.
"There is no one else I could imagine wanting as a father for my baby. I want this Jack. I want to have our child and for you to be her father without worrying about your age or that you're not good enough for her. You are going to be fantastic and she will be so lucky to have you."
"Us. She'll be lucky to have us." He told her taking her hands in his and Sam knew once again that she would never be alone. "Now what do you say I get down to that altar and meet you there in say ten minutes? Then we can have a double celebration at the Reception. Celebrate our long overdue marriage and wet baby O'Neills head?"
"I'd say that sounds perfect." She replied truthfully, smiling as Jack helped her up and sighing contentedly as he once again pulled her into his arms. "Thank you." She whispered into his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
"No thank you...for coming into the life of a grumpy old man and never leaving it even when you could have...so many times."
"You're not grumpy. Old...but not grumpy...much." She teased, reluctantly letting him go so that he could rejoin the wedding party and prepare himself for the day that had already changed his life so much.
"Love you too Carter." He responded with a warm smile. "I'm gonna be a daddy." He then whispered, a huge grin crossing his lips as he reached the doorway and turned to face her; winking playfully at her before he walked down the corridors to join his concerned best man outside.
"And I'm gonna be a mommy...and Mrs Samantha O'Neill...finally." Sam responded quietly as she walked to the mirror and reapplied her makeup, her happy smile turning into a gasp, for in the mirror behind her she swore that she could see as clear as day the forms of General George Hammond, her father Jacob Carter, and her best friend Janet Fraiser smiling joyously at her. Maybe the ones that she loved and had lost were there with her after all.
The End.