A/N :: Alright everyone, this one's for Pain in the Heart. Slight spoiler warning. Brennan nailed Booth in the face pretty hard at his 'funeral' right? So where's the bruise? Did we ever see one? This little tidbit is on the stairs, after the last scene of the finale.
He let his head fall to cover hers, which was nestled on his shoulder. He secretly hoped she would cry, to let it all out, to show him that she did in fact have some sort of way to let it all out.
Suddenly she lifted her head, staring at Booth. Her wide eyes were swimming and all he could do was stare back.
"Sorry about that," She said softly, gesturing to the circular bruise that was forming near his left eye.
"Oh it's not that bad," He raises his hand and instinctively touches the bruise, his eye flinching in pain. Without wanting to belittle her fury he continues, "I mean, you know, it does hurt."
When her eyes flash with regret he goes on. "You should see the other guy," He jokes.
She smiles lightly. He kept talking.
"You see, I pissed this girl off, which was not a smart thing to do… She's my partner." They were different people. Sitting there, having a conversation as if they were strangers in a bar.
"Tell me about her." She prodded. The doctor had no idea why he was speaking as though they were no long Booth and Brennan. The woman was curious to see where the conversation was going.
"Well, she's a genius. A forensic anthropologist, a bestselling author…"
"Keep going." She smirks then pulls her knees up, resting her elbow and holding her chin in her hand.
Booth lets out a small breathy laugh. "Well she's tall, she's funny," He pauses hesitantly before meeting her gaze. "She's beautiful. And amazing. She's … my Bones."
He studies her face. Her lips are parted slightly, her eyes wide and shifting. She looks shocked, concerned, surprised, confused. He never really has been able to get a read on her this way. His stomach is falling because he has no idea what she'll do. He clenches his jaw and lets his head droop, breaking their eye contact.
She can't breathe. She can't will her lungs to work, someone is squeezing her heart. She's never understood why, but now her heart hurts. For him, for her, for what they were, and what they're going to be. She can't see the future and she can't remember the past. At this one moment in time, they're changed. Without giving it another thought, she dives into the darkness he's living in.
With one deep breath in, she is able to let out a few words. "I'm sure she…"
He looks up, his face knocking her breath away again. Softer now, she carries on. "I'm sure she feels the same way about you ... the way you feel about her."
"Really?" Booth croaked, his eyes wide, hopeful, and young.
She wants to say yes, wants to get it over with. She wants to just be there, be at the place that they both want to be, together. She hates the journey, the talking, the emotions. She finally just wants to be with him, no more circling.
But she can't say yes. Instead she drops the charade. She doesn't know what to say so he just opens her mouth and lets the words fly out.
"You know, when you uh, died … I couldn't um, compartmentalize it. You know I couldn't just accept that you were gone." Her voice cracks on the last word. "You died saving me, and I couldn't even cry over you."
His confusion overwhelms his expression. "You didn't cry?" She didn't grieve over him?
"No Booth, I wanted to but I, I just, I didn't believe it. You were gone but I still talked to you like you were always next to me." Her voice fades and she tries not to cry.
"I always thought that after my parents and Russ left, that I, I would never let someone else make me feel that way again. I mean, I'm finally able to let people, to get close to people and suddenly its… it's like Zack makes my head hurt, but you're making my chest ache."
She says it like an accusation, but he understands. And it makes his heart break. He promised he would never leave her, that he'd always be there, and he failed.
She sees the look on his face. The self-hatred because he thinks it's his fault. So once again, she reaches out and saves him.
"But you came back." Her voice is cracked and broken. But her eyes are shining, with one tear that won't fall.
"Yeah." In his mind, that's not enough. He can't be responsible for breaking her heart over and over again before it finally shatters. He wants to show her. He's got to prove to her, that he'll be there, that he'll always come back.
"Come here." He nods and she scoots closer to him, trusting him.
Sitting side by side on the stairs, he uses both arms to wrap around her completely. She follows, closing her arms around his stomach, his around her shoulders. He breathes in the scent of her hair, she smells his shampoo. He shifts, one hand moves up to the back of her head as he pushes it forward, giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head, his eyes squeezed shut.
"I'll always find you Bones. You save me, I'll save you."
And she finally begins to cry.