This is my first ever fanfiction. So go easy on me please.

Now, I know the title doesn't really make sense to the story, but in time it will. But this is NOT a ONE OFF STORY. I'm hoping to make a good long story out of it, so there will be a few chapters.

The Italics is this chapter are the character's writings, just so you now.

It was like any ordinary day, summer had finally arrived at Kadic after a very long and cold winter. The sun was shining, the birds where singing. And love was in the air. Everyone was happy, well, almost everyone.

Xana had been defeated and the Super Computer was finally turned off forever just 6 months ago. At first it was odd, not having return to the past nearly ever week or fighting Xana on a daily basis, but life goes on. Aelita Stones and Jeremie Belpois had started dating just a few weeks after, LOL. I remember Aelita having a very 'special talk' with Yumi about dating and love. Nowadays though, Aelita and Jeremie could be found walking hand in hand around the school. And they seem to be really happy.

Odd Della Robbie's one and only real crush Samantha Knight, or just Sam as she prefers to be called, moved back to Kadic and enrolled in Kadic Academy. It didn't take long for them to start dating; anyone could tell that they really liked each other. It's been weird though, not hearing Odd going on about a different girl every week. But he seems to be in love with Sam and she seems to love him back. LOL. I never thought I'd see the day when Odd would be dating a girl longer than 2 weeks. They're off somewhere, probably making out as usual.

Yumi Ishiyama, well she's probably out somewhere making out with HIM. I should have made a move after we defeated Xana, but I didn't. I was too scared. Now look where it landed me, she's out dating William. William Dunbar of all people, like, come on! The whole god damn School knows he is in love with her for heaven sake. And in my nightmares she sometimes even loves him back, and not me. But the worst part is, she loves dating him. Not likes, or enjoys even, but LOVES dating him. I'm even beginning to think that maybe she is in Love with him. Maybe William was right, why would she want to date a person who's a year younger then her. She probably thinks of me as a little kid with a crush. She probably finds it really funny, her and William probably laugh about it all the time. God I've lost her, I've really really lost her. Since she started dating him I've been crying myself to sleep at night. Every night, just wishing this was some kind of nightmare. That I'll wake up and all it will be just a dream.

They started dating just after Christmas, that's when my life went downhill. My so called 'friends' kept saying we can't let relationships get in the way of our friendship. You now what the worst part is, the worst part is, that I believed what they said. I actually believed them. Now look, it's only been, what, 4 or so months since then and they don't have the time for anyone but their own boyfriend or girlfriend. I hardly talk to Jeremie and Aelita, if it wasn't for the fact that we share class I'd probably go an entire week or more and not hear anything from them at all. I only talk to Odd because we share a dorm together, when his not eating, sleeping, in class or out with Sam. Then there's Yum. If I'm lucky, I'll get a 'Hello'. Usually she's with William. They eat together, walk to class together. They do everything together. The daily phone calls from Yumi stopped just after she started dating William. I'm lucky if I get even one call or text a week from anyone.

Sissy even stopped bugging me, I think she finally realised that I don't like her. I won't lie, I'm happy it stopped, really happy, its just now I don't think I'd mind as much if she was bugging me every ten minutes, at least it would give me someone to talk.....

RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG

Putting my pen down, I checked the caller ID before answering my phone. 'Great' I thought.

"Hello Dad"

"Ulrich, we just got your results, and what do you have to say for yourself this time? No let me guess it's those good for nothing friends of yours, isn't it?"

"No Dad it's not them, and they're not good for nothing friends. I tried and failed, what else can I say."

"You could try to explain how you've done worse since your Christmas Tests, I didn't actually think you could possible do any worse, but you did. And now you've been removed from the school team until your grades improve as well, that's what you could say?"

"I just did, alright. Look, I don't want to talk about it. I already now what you're going to say. If my grades don't do any better then it's off to Military school for me. That I'm letting you and mom and the Stern name down with my bad results and how, at my age you where top of your class."

"And don't you forget it either. Don't think I'm joking when I saying I'm going to send you to Military school, because I will if I have to. I already have one picked out back here in Germany. If you can't learn something at school then at least you can learn something for your country."

Then he hung up like usual. I noticed that when I first came to Kadic and my grades were good my father would at less say 'Bye'. But now, now he just hangs up on me. I don't care though; I'm used to my family not caring about me. I can actually hand on heart tell you that my mother and father haven't told me they love me in what must be over 4 years. I decided to just forget about the phone call and picked back up my pen and continued to write.

So where was I, Yes wishing Sissy would bug me so I could have someone to talk to? Even that could break my normal boring daily routing of getting up, getting dressed, waking odd. Eating breakfast, lunch and dinner on my own. Going to class and then returning to my dorm alone. I've even started to sit on my own in class too. When Sam arrives, Odd asks could I let her sit next to him sometimes. Nowadays though, she just does.

The worst part is though; I've started to do what I'd never thought I'd do. I remember talking to the gang about it and saying why would someone be so stupid to do it. LOL. To think those words would come back and bite me on the ass. But now, now I know why people would do it. Somehow it just helps to releave the pain inside me. Seeing the blood flowing free from my arm seems to help me in some scary way. It makes me feel that all the pain and sadness is flowing away in the blood. It makes me feel happy. But not for long though. It makes me feel worse; it makes me cut myself more and more to try and get rid of this pain and sadness that is inside me.

I'm just tired of it all now. My family hates me, my friends have forgotten about me, no one needs me anymore, and no one loves me. I'm failing nearly all my classes; I've been removed off the school team until my grades improve. I'm in HUGE fear of having to repeat this year. But none of that seems to be getting to me. The one thing do that I can't handle anymore, is the fact the women I've loved since the first time I saw her, loves another. And I don't know how long I can keep going, until I just decide to end it all.

My arm is killing me now; all that cutting it makes it hurt a lot when it comes to writing nowadays. Well I'll just leave it there.

I put my pen back down and closed my notebook, (AKA Diary). And continued to sit on my bed knowing that I should start on getting my homework done, but I can't think about that right now. I need to relax, to make the pain and sadness go away, even just for a little time. I took out the knife from my pocket, and held it in my hand. How did I come to this? But I thought nothing more of it as I brought it to my arm and start the slow and painful process of cutting my self, again and again. Until the pain and sadness just went away.

More Chapters to come! And I do not own Code Lyoko.

So what do you think? If you have any questions just ask. Please Review.