**This was written as a commission for mizjoely, who I adore. For more info about my commissions follow the link on my profile.
Prompt: Weird bucket list items; Warstan
This was a lot of fun. At first I accidentally almost started writing this for Sherlolly - before rereading it for about twentieth time - but the bucket list items I figured out (thanks to whclocked (tumblr) for the help with that) worked even better for our two thrill seekers. So I hope you enjoy this.
much love,
day
EXTREME HONEYMOONING
John Watson had come to run with things when Sherlock had said weird things like 'think of it as an overdue break from me' to goad him into doing things. Being able to take a trip with his wife away from murder and mayhem was a selling point but he hadn't really had any idea of where they could go. "Anywhere you want." Sherlock had tacked on as if that was supposed to be helpful.
He was grateful that Mary was his partner in life. She had quickly come up with an alternative method for their trip away. "It'll be like the honeymoon that we didn't exactly have."
"Okay, but it still doesn't answer the question of where?" He mumbled as he jostled their baby girl in his arms as he burped her.
"You know how usually when people are about to die they want to do all these things. How about we do that but on our own terms?" She quipped as she turned the page in the book she was reading.
"Are you seriously suggesting we check things off our bucket list for our honeymoon?"
"John, think of it this way it doesn't have to be strictly normal things. I mean we both like danger - don't deny it - how about some things that other people wouldn't normally do."
John mulled over it for a second. It wouldn't be so bad. "Who will keep Rosie when all of this going on?"
"I already asked Molly and she said she didn't mind. Plus Sherlock said he'd take her when Molly had to work. They've basically worked it out."
"They work together though." John insisted.
"Not all the time. You're not getting out of this John. We have friends who are willing to give us a vacation for a week, don't you dare ruin this."
John Watson knew when enough was enough. He knew it wasn't going to be bad. They had always had a good time no matter where they were or what they were doing.
It would be a good trip, if not a little bizarre.
He had no idea how much he was right about that.
They traveled to Italy first up. Hitting up all the touristy portions that they could before somehow they had grown in popularity with a very dangerous crowd. John had been nervous, but Mary thought it would be fun to get to know them. They were introduced to the owner of the vineyard that they had passed by a handful of times. Mary had mentioned wanting to have a wine tasting and so they took a peek on their second day there.
"You are from London, yes?" The woman who owned the vineyard had a thick accent that almost made it hard for Mary to understand.
Mary nodded, knowing that the best way to get what she wanted was to play along. "Yes, you have a beautiful vineyard."
"You are kind. It was my grandfather's which he passed to me and my brothers." She paused her face lighting up as a newcomer came to the light. A brutish man possibly in his late thirties slipped in to give the brunette a hug and a kiss on each cheek. "I didn't know you were giving a tour today, boys and I were going to have a meeting."
He tried to keep it hush hush while also eyeing John and Mary as if they were an unexpected nuisance. It made Mary smile. "Not to worry, um, sir we were just inquiring about the vineyard. It's nice."
"Thank you. It is the pride of our family, and the resting place of people who don't know when to go away. You understand if I am how you say uncomfortable at my second home?"
John understood perfectly, however he knew his wife and she would not let a challenge go unfulfilled. He let out a sigh before trying to coerce his dear wife into coming back the following day – their last day in Italy before heading off to Washington in the US.
"Mary, it's been a long day. We need to have dinner and call Sh-Harold to see how Rosie is doing." Mary gave her husband a bored look but caved anyways. She was going to do some recon in the morning before they returned.
"Very well then. Can we come back tomorrow?" She asked John, slightly putting on a show as if she was used to being let down. She just wanted to put them off guard.
John opened his mouth to go along with her but the brutish brother was grinning. "We would love to have you back. Perhaps the whole family will be around and we can all get to know each other a little better."
John was the least comfortable with this idea but nodded anyways. "Yes. Good."
He and Mary knew he was going to hate his willingness to go into these murky waters without his trusted gun. Mary still had some tricks up her sleeve though.
When they made it back to the bed and breakfast they had checked into the day before John couldn't not become an explosive time bomb. "Of course the one vineyard you needed to see had to be involved with the mafia. The Italian mafia."
"How can you tell?" Mary laughed.
"You don't make threats like that unless you're involved in some seedy business. It's the first and only thing that makes sense in my head."
Mary patted her husband's shoulder affectionately. "You're right but I think we'll be okay. If all fails we can run with her tails between our legs and head for the airport early."
John would much rather leave tonight than have to face a group of ruffians who didn't want them on their land. He was a different man that he used to be. He was still scared of things; of people wanting to kill him but when his wife was with him he was a much more confident scaredy cat.
The meeting between the Watsons and the Moretti family that included several non Moretti's – the phrase family doesn't end in blood ran through his head as Mary jovially chatted up several gun wielding men as if it was nothing. John stood close to her muttering very few words doing his best not to fuck up. Unfortunately for this it made he seem very suspicious to those closest to the Moretti siblings they had met yesterday.
"I think he got a death wish." He heard one of the younger ones mumble. This in turn started a chain of events that involved a knife, a candle and Mary knocking out six of the fifteen she had already noticed carrying weapons when they arrived.
"RUN JOHN FOR FUCKS SAKE RUN." Mary mumbled as she took off in a sprint ahead of him.
John cursed as he dodged and punched his way out into the maze of vines. They had all but sealed off the way they had come in. This was worse than he thought.
"Don't tell me this was on your list, Mary!" He yelled as he saw brief shots of her blonde hair as she continued running through the maze trying to find an easier way of getting out besides climbing the furthest wall when they got to it.
She had tucked a few pieces of paper in her shorts when she had the men distracted by talking about their weapons. Guys enjoyed a good shop talk. She had always kept a set of matches on her in case she needed them for reasons she rather not discuss at this moment in time.
"I didn't want to tell you because you'd get upset but it might have been."
"MARY WHAT ABOUT US NOT DYING A PAINFUL DEATH FOR ONCE?"
She had managed to ignite a fire with the tools she had. She threw it towards the center of the maze hoping that it would distract the majority of them while John gave her a boost. In a way it had. There were a few stragglers but they did what they could whilst climbing for their lives.
"See. We didn't exactly die."
"THERE THEY ARE." Came to their right as they hopped down.
Mary cursed, grabbing John's hand and making a dash in the opposite direction. They used the crowds as disguise in order to get to their place of rest to grab their things. Thankfully John had a mind to pack.
They paid a man over hundreds more than they should have in order for him to get them away from the mayhem.
John tried not to be to upset when he watched Mary cross off the line in her notebook that read: Laugh in face of danger before running like hell. Points if the Mafia is involved. (John will hate it.)
He closed his eyes as the plane rose off the ground. "You are maddening but I wouldn't want to be in this mess with anyone else." He mumbled.
"Agreed, sweetheart." Mary echoed as she reached over and clasped his hand in her own, she gave it a firm squeeze.
When they touched down in Washington is was clear that they would be doing nothing the first day but sleeping and perhaps eating before that. John was irritable, Mary was quiet but they both knew what to do to get to their end goal of falling into bed together.
The next morning they still felt out of sorts but John insisted they try to do one thing that day. It happened that tonight was a town hall forum for the small town of Port Townsend. Of all the places they had chosen this was the least luxurious. That would be a nice change of pace from the liveliness of Italy.
Certainly nothing murderous could happen here.
It was a harbor town built in 1792.
The Watson had decided to find a place to get breakfast first thing before joining a small queue of people waiting for the town hall to begin. Considering the crowds within the town were thick during days like this it took them much longer to get their meal and consume it without many interruptions. By the time they joined the fray the meeting was already in progress and somehow they had come across a problem.
John had been hustled up to the podium in the center of the square.
"There we have it, our new mayor is this nice fellow."
"Oh no." Mary tried to hide her giggle as her husband looking very confused yet proud for about a millisecond tried to find her in the large crowd of onlookers. Once he did he mouthed the word HELP as if she could have seen this coming.
They just kept getting themselves into situations like this. She hadn't a single clue how they had picked him. Or how they could have known he would be there? Not unless it had been planned.
When she finally allowed herself to rejoin her husband on the stage she spoke lowly to him. "This will take some time. You'll have to be patient."
"Mary. I'm the bloody major in a country we don't even belong to."
His wife smiled out at the crowd waving her best royal wave, "Smile sweetheart, you'll frighten the children."
John as his habit as of the past few days did put on a smile…for the children. When John had more or less been sworn in by officials he had preceded to panic all the while Mary seemed to be lapping up the attention. He wouldn't be surprised if she had been a royal in one of her many aliases. Perhaps why it didn't bother her that he was the one having to deal with it?
He tried not to direct his aggravation at her but once they had been left alone in a singular office it had been difficult not want to shout but the former army doctor slumped in his chair behind the large desk that was now his for a spell.
"How long exactly do you expect it'll take for this to be seen as a mistake?" He said tiredly as Mary took to sitting on the edge of the desk.
"A day, or two at the most. I'm talking to Mycroft right now."
"He's laughing isn't he?"
"Have you ever heard him laugh, John?" Mary scoffed. The Ice Man was amused, certainly but he had never out right laughed at the expense of someone he didn't rightly hate. John was something close to a brother of Sherlock's – beyond blood – that is. It would be silly of him to let him stew in this for too long.
Beside Mary was scared what would happen to this lovely city by the sea if John was here too long. He was a man of order while also leaning on a simple life. This was probably the most unorganized thing he would have to endure. He was expected to run a city that was foreign to him.
"What am I supposed to do in the mean time?"
"Look pretty." She said with less enthusiasm than he expected. He thought she would be thrilled.
"What is it?"
"It's not the right office." She said as if he was supposed to know exactly what she meant. The look he gave her told her to get on with it. He was drained from the hours that all the politics of this took. There had been people glad to have him while there were many others that wanted to toss him out. When a mayor was chosen he was meant to do by the people not run away.
"Well, I always wanted to have sex in a government official's office." Mary said as she hopped down.
John sat up straighter.
He had not be expecting that.
"Call it a perk of the job." He said as he pulled her onto his lap.
Mary was glad she had locked the door when they were left alone. She had not imagined he would have gone along with this.
To be curt, it had been some time. They would blame it on the jetlag later. Mary put it in her top five favorite times her and John and defiled a place and expected to not see it again.
They did endure it for one more day. After being rather bold in his first day in office the second day went smoother. John would not admit it but it may have turned his perspective to something brighter. If being mayor aroused his wife he wasn't going to not reap the benefits of it.
They made use of it one more time much to the chagrin of Mycroft Holmes who got to hear it from the mouth of strangers the sounds that were being made behind closed doors.
John laughed at the British man citing, "Perhaps you should try it, Mycroft. Might loosen your top a bit."
He was met with dial tone but he didn't care.
"That was fun." Mary mumbled as she slipped her head from under the cover to lay her head on John's chest.
"Both times." He commented.
"Four. One yesterday, one last night, and the two now. I think it's the sea air."
"Or the position I held for almost three days."
"You'll never know."
"Hey, you're the one who said…" He stopped. "You didn't just say that to get me to loosen up did you?"
"No." She said quickly. "I meant it. It's actually second on my list."
Use your wiles to be elected in a high position.
It hadn't gone the way she imagined but she wouldn't change the past forty eight hours for anything.
They decided that the third part of the world that they needed to visit in order for them to check off another part of the list was Japan. You could get sushi just about anywhere but for John to fulfill something on Mary's list with her knowing he wanted it to be the best. Or at least on the soil of where it originated.
Once again using their first night to grab some food – ramen at one of the many stalls – and then to get some rest in a very high end hotel. This part was paid on behalf of Mycroft Holmes. They had been booked elsewhere but he had gone ahead and changed after they had embarked on their flight. This one had discretion of the highest priority.
If that wasn't a loosely veiled warning they weren't sure what was.
They spent most of the day taking in activities that the Japanese had to offer. There was a festival going on so there was plenty to do and eat.
John was adamant that they go for the sushi first seeing as that was why they came. They could devour the rest right after she had her first bite.
"Raw fish was the turning off point, I remember why I never did try it."
"You put it on your list." He pointed out as he took to eating one of the California Roll.
Mary watched him for a moment before picking up her set of chopsticks. She had used the utensil a different way before but today she was dining. She picked up one that looked like it had several different meats in it. She gazed it as if it was an enemy she wanted to take down, in this case eating it.
She looked at John who was looking at her with a somewhat hooded gaze and smiled. "You'll never know until you try." He commented as if she was a child.
In some way she supposed she was acting like one. She decided to just plopped the whole thing in her mouth. It took some time to chew through all the variations of meat on the Rainbow Roll. "What do you think?" John asked once she had finished chewing and was reaching for a shot of sake.
"Not bad. Hm. Which one should I try next?"
She looked at the array of choices and then decided to let fate decide. It went on like this for quite some time. Eventually ending up with both of them stuffed a little drunk from the nearly filled bottle of sake they consumed between them.
They managed to make it to their room within another hour, carrying to walk leisurely towards the looming building. Along the way Mary had picked out a set of kimonos to take home to Rosie and Molly. Those two deserved something nice. As far as she knew the young girl hadn't been here before either. There was a first time for everything.
This thought proved fruitful as they settled in for the night hoping to sleep off the food and the sake. Instead Mary found herself in the strange bathroom and everything she had eaten or drinking spewing out like lava.
John wasn't too far behind her, quickly alarmed that she was sick.
They spent the morning in the bathroom with John wetting a cool towel to help cool her down in between the retching. This was an entirely different affair than the pregnancy morning nausea.
"Food poisoning." He told her when she all but emptied out her stomach.
He had called for some extra towels and a bucket of ice which Mary eat in small doses. They never left the bathroom.
"I hate sushi." She concluded.
John smiled slightly at that. She did look terrible but he bent forward and kiss her temple anyways.
John had fully expected her to want to cut their trip short after dealing with that for a day and a half, but no she was not to be deterred. They still had one more bullet point on the list to get to and this one was all John's.
"I still can't believe you've never gone skydiving. It's a blast." Mary beamed happily as they walked down the familiar streets of London. They weren't to come back home. That had been forbidden until later this night so for the last thrill seeking portion of the trip skydiving was on the agenda. At least for John since Mary was well enough to not be throwing up water, she still didn't trust herself if she got onto a plane that she wouldn't end up in a similar state once more. She was glad that John was going to experience this for the first time in his life.
"I was an army doctor, not an idiot."
"Call me an idiot one more time and I'll give you this bug I have." Mary joked.
"Not humanly possible but alright. I'll bite. What should I expect for this last adventure of ours uninterrupted?"
Mary slipped her arm through his. She was really excited about this one. "Oh, you'll see." She goaded him on.
They had to take the tube to the reach the center where they were to meet up the professional skydiving instructor who was going to be with John every step of the way. John was a bit nervous now knowing that his wife wouldn't be going him. That was going to be the selling point of this all, and he told her as much as they reached the doors that took them inside.
"Once you do it the first time we can come back with Sherlock and Molly and do it as a group. It gets more intense when there is a group." She told him as she spotted the thirty four year old instructor named Brad who she had spoken on the phone with the night before when they had touched down at Heathrow to remind him that he would only be taking one of them up with him due to some food poisoning.
"You must be the Watsons. Glad to meet you in person. Sherlock Holmes was adamant that I do my very best for his two favorite people on the planet."
Mary laughed. "Did he really say that?"
"Yes. In a very outlandish tone." He paused. "I've met him several times. He had a case here a few years ago. Took him on his first jump."
Sherlock's thought process was not lost on the two blondes. That was why he suggested this place. There was always one thing or the other with that man.
It wasn't long before the pleasantries were over and John was suiting up to head 10,000ft in the air. Mary stayed with him as long as she could. "I'll be able to watch you from the cameras they have on the suits to record everything. I'll be there when you come back down."
"Okay." He wasn't sure how else to respond to that.
"It'll be fun. Don't worry so much." She said while rubbing his arm in a soothing gesture.
"You'll owe me for this, later." He told gruffly.
"Later. Sure." She told him noncommittally.
John snogged the life out of her before he followed Brad out to the plane. Mary bit her lip as her husband retreated away.
She thought that wasn't very gentlemanly of him. Then she thought about it, he was John Watson. A very emotionally charged man that she loved every piece of. She smiled to herself before going to the small room that had a monitor to show what was happening once John jumped off the plan.
John himself was jittery and Brad could tell. "It'll be over before you know it, John. Just relax. Think of it as a dream. At the end you get to be with your wife."
He had a point. So John took a deep breath as the pilot told them they had reached optimum height. Brad asked him if he was ready and with a quick nod they jumped out. John let out a yell of the initial pressure of the wind flapping all around him. It was not the best option of only being able to look down and around the sky.
He had no idea what was below only that he was plummeting further.
The landing was the easy part but also more intense than the drop, but John zoned in on Mary who was grinning at him as Brad withdrew from his position behind him giving him the room to hug his wife. "How was it?" She asked with a laugh.
"Not sure I have the words. It was…an experience."
Brad laughed. "I don't think I've ever heard it said that way but as long as you had fun."
John nodded. "Thanks Brad. It was a good first attempt."
It seemed like some light had been ignited in Brad's eyes. "Challenged accepted was all he said before returning to the center.
"Oh boy, you stirred his loins for sure." Mary quipped.
"Off with you." John nudged her.
Mary rolled her eyes. "You did look like you had fun. Next time we'll do our own drop."
"Is that a promise?"
"Just as long as you don't get me sick again." Mary teased as she walked ahead of him.
"How is that fair?" John called after her.
All he heard was her laughing.
Upon entering their home once more John and Mary weren't so surprised when Sherlock immediately handed off Rosie much to Molly's annoyed glare. "They just got back, Sherlock. Is that anyway to greet your friends?"
They already sounded like an old couple and they hadn't quite gotten together yet. Or at the very least John hadn't been made aware if they did. "Do we need to see you on a vacation next?" John shook his head before looking down at his baby girl who was cooing for his attention after the nearly two weeks of missing her father.
"No." Sherlock mutter while Molly's exasperated 'yes' overshadowed his.
"Not together obviously. I think I need a break from you for a few days." Molly sighed.
"You don't meant that Molly." Sherlock pouted hoping to remedy the situation quickly.
Mary didn't miss the sudden change in her other child's demeanor. He did always get a bit saucy after Molly grew upset with him in some regard. If she didn't know any better something else had happened while they were away.
She hummed to herself.
Molly never really gave him an answer verbally, but considering she did end up in Baker Street for drinks with everyone and was smiling at Sherlock that they must have worked through whatever had gotten her upset.
They had even witnessed a very small moment between them. Very minuscule but enough to sedate Mary's curiosity of what was going on. A tuck of a curl of Molly's hair behind her ear and shared smiles of a more than friendly nature.
Mary decided that she would try to get real intel about this when she and girls went out next. She was happy to have experienced some amazing things with her husband who was her light in often dark times. She was grateful that they had friends who went so far from them.
"Thank you, Sherlock." She told him as he passed by to head into the kitchen.
He stopped short and nodded. "You're quite welcome, Mrs. Watson."
She smiled at his retreating figure. He loved them. She could tell.
They adore him too.