Notes: This started as a little challenge to myself after I finished Living In Limbo, just to keep my hand in. Hadn't done any drabbles for quite a while either, but they proved the perfect vehicle to accompany Sky One's decision to screen Season 3 with a new ep every day! So… a hundred words per episode it was, with the added thrill of somehow including the title! And if it seems like there's a preponderance of Jesse-centric ones, well, he was just the one shouting loudest at me…
Thanks as ever to Chya and Jen for the encouragement and being there to share with.
Spoilers: All 22 Season 3 episodes, in varying degrees!
Disclaimers: Sadly, none of the Mutant X team belong to me. I've just borrowed them briefly from their owners and promise to put them back exactly (well, almost... particularly in Jesse's case!) as I found them. No profit is being made from these stories and I don't have anything worth suing for...
-o-o-o-
A DRABBLE A DAY…
By JillyW
They're gone. And their unheralded absence has banished those left behind from hope-filled days into the moonless night they now inhabit. Black, empty, enough to tear apart the fragile bonds holding them together.
At their darkest hour comes a bringer of light. But hers is a harsh, brittle brilliance, challenging everything they believe in an effort to re-focus their wavering sense of purpose.
One rejects, only to find a bleaker reality beyond Sanctuary's walls.
One mistrusts but, true to her nature, does what's necessary for her pride.
And one is drawn past the surface glare to seek the soul within.
-o-
Unseen in the shadows he watches, hoping to understand the dichotomy he's been sensing in her
There's a sadness, a vulnerability hidden under the diamond-hard surface of her public persona, and her continual rejection of his olive branches just makes him more determined to find out why.
She's no saint – she makes no bones about that. But whatever the unpalatable truth of her secretive past, she seems the embodiment of the old adage that the wages of sin really can't buy more than the most fleeting happiness.
So he'll work to gain her trust. And maybe then she'll smile again.
-o-
"So," she said, smiling knowingly, "looked like you enjoyed butting heads with those army guys."
His return grin said it all.
He'd hated seeing his friends head into danger without him, confronting the ugly face of the breed of being so misguidedly created in there. He had to admit, though, he'd relished the challenge of driving the show from outside, running interference for those within, searching for solutions.
Successfully.
It was just a shame Adam wasn't there to see it.
But… "Thanks for getting us out," she whispered. And her fierce feral hug was all the recognition he really needed.
-o-
She blames herself.
Lying alone, eyes open to the knowledge of the worst that even the very best of us can be driven to do. And yet she still believes she could have, should have made a difference.
Experience should tell her how hard it can be to see where evil dwells, especially in the eyes of a friend. We've all faced it before. But this time the corruption was unconscious, the victim unaware of its insidious spread until ultimately there was no escape.
Except through death.
Inside, she knows this. But guilt demands tribute and, for now, she's paying.
-o-
What was it with him?
He'd put his life on the line for her, and she couldn't in all honesty understand why. She knew she'd treated him – all of them – with the casual indifference a farmer might set about the taking of crows infesting his fields, purely as a means to an end. Yet he kept coming back for more.
Personal feelings matter, he said. And without them, she'd be dead. Maybe so, but she couldn't afford them. Not now.
Not yet.
Perhaps later, mission complete, she could allow herself to prove him right. Until then he'd better steer clear…
-o-
Cemeteries. Spooky at best. Worse at night, especially when grave-robbing!
Inured as they might become to the effects of man's inhumanity to man, the callous exploitation of the young and innocent still chilled. And the shadows of darkness fell nowhere more heavily than around a child's grave – particularly a child dead through misdeed.
Except the child has gone.
Impossible? No, nothing is impossible in the twilight life they lead.
So, is he now a ghost? Or one more akin to their own otherworldly talents?
Time will tell. But it may still never bring him the lasting peace they all crave.
-o-
Sometimes I think the Helix hates me. When she's down and hurting she can be vicious as a cornered feral – she certainly spits and bites like one, anyway.
And survives hitting the ground from great heights, though not without serious damage.
Luckily for both my girls they had saviours close by – though our healing techniques couldn't be more different. But the hand of God moves in mysterious ways, and while one of us goes on to save another day, the other proved the better man by sacrificing himself so that my friends could live.
At least now he can rest…
-o-
No-one sees how much it hurt to let her go again. How badly he wanted to make up for all that had happened between them before, all the lost time since.
But it's too late to go back, he knows that. His path set, his role defined, his belief in the vision that drew him to this life in the first place untarnished by passing years, it's unfair to hope an innocent could share it. Even her.
So he hides the pain, convincing himself it's for the best, praying that the barren wasteland his heart has become will bloom again.
-o-
Came damn close there – too close, really.
It hit pretty hard to find there was no way out, no exit from the place that's meant to protect us, keep us safe from exactly the kind of threat that almost took us down.
But it won't happen again. Ever. Not if old Nerd-wonder here has anything to do with it.
(pause)
Did she really call me that?
Is that how she sees me? Just a super-hero's sidekick, with nothing more going for him than an affinity with technology?
She obviously doesn't know me as well as she thinks.
She will, though.
-o-
He's dead.
Two words. Two small words that nonetheless weigh down her soul like a whole lexicon. For without him she's nothing. Without him she has no purpose, no driving force, no reason to be.
No reason to be here.
But if not here, then where? Is there anywhere she can go that won't remind her of what she's lost?
Though she'd never tried to be her brother's keeper, she'd promised to keep him safe, to rid him of his demons. And in the end she'd failed.
Or had she succeeded in giving him what he'd yearned for – his freedom…?
-o-
Breaking the introspective quiet, he asks, "How many times did he say we died?"
A cat-like blink of surprise. "What does it matter? We don't remember it anyway."
"No. But he does."
A pause, then softly, "Yes. He does."
"You'd think with the infinite number of possibilities, we could have made one where everyone lives happily ever after."
The blonde head shakes sadly. "No. This couldn't have ended happily for all of us. One of us was always going to lose."
A long silence, then, "Temporal physics always did make my head hurt. But… I'm gonna go check the milk."
-o-
Think I've spent too much time lately playing X-Files – that could explain the suspicious turn my mind's been taking.
Why? Well, Lexa's suddenly looking more comfortable about being here than I've seen her. And Jess is walking around with that smug look he gets when he's won an argument. Not that he's saying anything, of course.
Brennan thinks I'm imagining things, but I'm working up my own conspiracy theory – that something big happened here while we were out saving the world from 'alien invasion'.
Knowing the two of them, though, got some serious detective work ahead to find out what…
-o-
"What's with Jess and this thing he has for Lexa? He's acting like a high school kid with a crush."
"You're saying you wouldn't give her a second look if she walked by?"
"Well yeah, of course. But I wouldn't make it obvious."
"I think it's sweet. He deserves some fun – it's not like he gets much playtime these days."
"She's way out of his league – she'd eat him for breakfast."
"Don't be so sure. I think she kinda likes it."
"Likes the puppy dog approach? Get serious!"
"Honey, you have a lot to learn about the art of attraction!"
-o-
Secrets. She hates them. Hates the power they give the control-hungry, the toll they take on the weak-willed, the relationships they destroy.
Yet here she is, keeping the biggest one ever.
Adam's alive. She can hardly believe it, unsure whether to embrace that knowledge joyfully or curse him for the pain he's put them all through.
For putting her in this situation…
She knows she should tell the guys - they deserve the truth. But she'd given her word, and that still had to mean something. Didn't it?
In a normal life, anyway. In their precarious existence? Maybe even more…
-o-
The past has called out to him once more. And once more he's answered.
Old habits die hard, making it frighteningly easy to slip back into the criminal mindset. And old allegiances die even harder, especially those forged in an environment where to trust was to invite betrayal. So when his old life beckons, luring him with seductive promises of one more walk on the wild side, he can't ignore it.
This time he's lucky. Despite his divided loyalties, he came through for his friends - both old and new.
Let's hope the future won't force him to choose between us…
-o-
"William OK?" greets his return.
A small smile. "He's dancing."
"Dancing?" she queries, eyebrow raised.
"Yeah." A pause. "I can see why he'd want to stay there. He's from a different age. You know? Like… an age of innocence, that even wartime couldn't destroy. The world's a much more complicated place now."
She nods silently, no reply necessary.
"What's that?" she asks eventually, indicating the object he holds in his hand.
"His Medal of Honor. Can't believe he'd give it away – it always meant everything to him…"
Warm fingers squeeze his. "Well, maybe he's found something now that means more."
-o-
It's not quite the homecoming he'd envisaged. They've grown without him, matured, and his position there is more uninvited guest than trusted leader.
They've accepted the newcomer, though, helped her start to pull together the fraying strands of her emotional and moral fabric. But now it seems, against her will, she's come undone again.
Master and apprentice work as equals to save her, and though the self-doubting boy the younger man once was surfaces briefly, the final decisive action – and the success - is his.
And fatherly pride conflicts with the growing realisation they might not need him any more…
-o-
For a smart guy, it's amazing how little faith Jess has in himself sometimes. Even hanging there, in between life and death, he needed reminding of his worth, how strong he's proved himself to be.
That's the difference between us, though. Growing up on the streets taught me to trust in myself. Whatever his silver-spoon upbringing gave him, it wasn't self-belief.
And discovering he's not as bullet-proof as he thought sure didn't help.
But, though he was hurting enough to give up on his own survival, he found the will to fight for mine. If that's not strength, what is?
-o-
Mischievously: "You're in big trouble, dude. Lexa's never gonna let you off with kissing and not telling!"
Smugly: "Well, what can I say? She should have kept a closer eye on her other self. Besides, she was the one doing all the kissing."
Musingly: "It was pretty spooky, though, wasn't it? How good the clones were? I mean, watching two identical Shal's duke it out was… well, scary."
Knowingly: "Ah. Scary, huh?"
Airily: "Well, yeah! You know…"
Wryly: "Yeah, sure… Still, gotta say my perfect dream lover would come without the murderous intentions as standard."
Fervently: "Amen to that, brother!"
-o-
I guess Ashlocke was destined to haunt us forever, given he's been our nemesis right from the start.
And now we're supposed to believe he's been reborn in this child? Worse, technically Brennan's child – along with that woman and those others careless enough to leave their DNA lying around.
I thought he might go with her. The idea appealed, I know, but by staying he keeps the prophecy alive. Four will begin this final challenge. Love may well call, if we're prepared to take the chance.
What's frightening me is who'll do the betraying – and which of us will fall…
-o-
For once in her life she's afraid. Adrift in self-condemnation, she sees only that she's jeopardised all she's fought for, all those she's come to care for, and that knowledge renders her helpless and alone.
How can she believe wonders never cease, when the Cirque des Merveilles has taken so many?
But then he's there, the one she'd once thought weak, proving yet again that he's the toughest of them all. Far from diminishing him, his compassion just makes him stronger and, despite herself, she starts to believe he'll make everything right again.
And her fear makes way for hope.
-o-
The world turns full circle as they emerge from the rubble once more, all still standing bar one. One not what he seemed.
Rocked by the physical and emotional battering they've just endured, they struggle to absorb this new truth. But the assault on the very foundations of their existence is yet too fresh.
An existence destined to be brief, at least for three.
But the one who holds the key to the future survival of his kind bears the heavier burden. For until he can unlock the secret he carries, everyone's lives will hang in the balance – even his…
THE END