Authors note: In the aftermath of ep 12 season two the job. I felt really bad for Linda in this episode and I wanted to try to make story about what she might have gone through.
Disclaimer : I don't own Blue Bloods and I don't own any money from it.
Never let go
Linda sat there almost in shock next to her husband as he was rambling on about how he was going to get the shooter. The man that had fired against him while she and their little ones were in the car. She couldn't take his rambling right now, not after a bullet had gotten through the window, making a hole in the seat between her two boys.
'How could he go on like this?' she wondered in her silent mind. Forcing herself to not break down in tears.
She lost it right there, snapping at him to shut up, that right now she couldn't take it, and he did. He looked at her with confused eyes, but still he kept quiet for the rest of the drive.
When they got home, she put the boys to bed, making sure to stay with them longer than usual, to make them feel safe. She watched Jack until he was sound asleep as he seemed really scared. The young boy had even been shivering.
Linda knew when they got married, being married to a cop would give her worries, she however never anticipated she would be in the middle of it. He had defended them of course, but that hadn't stopped the fear that went through her, afraid she would loose him, not being able to do anything to shelter the boys. Startling when the bullet went through the window and in the back where they were. Her heart at that very moment stopped in pure fear of losing on of the three boys she loved the most. Turning she saw they were fine and the bullet was lodged in the back between them. Her heart, that had speed up as she turned her head, took some time to slow down.
Linda walked into their bedroom, sitting down by the end of the bed, kicking of her shoes, before she let herself fall backwards on it. Kicking herself higher up so her feet wouldn't be outside the bed. She lay to rest on her side, the left. Laying there shivering, curled up in fetal position, looking at the wall beneath the window.
"Sweetheart," Danny's dark voice interrupted her.
"Go away," she wanted to snap, but the words came out as a whisper.
"Linda," he said, coming closer, she knew him to come into bed and put his arm around her anytime soon.
Danny sighed, knowing his lady to be upset with him, but he also knew she needed him, so he got his shoes off, crawled into bed, wrapped his arm her and held her closer.
She turned around, only to hide her face in her chest as she started to cry. He held her close and soothed her as he always would do, no matter how much they should happen to disagree on the matter in hand. Hiding in her shoulder, so extremely glad she was okay, alive, not having been hit by the bullet that had penetrated the car's front window.
"You're sometimes so stupid," she whispered with a sigh.
"I may have went to far," he admitted, even if he was trying to do the right thing, putting his family in harms way was never the solution.
"I'm not happy with you just yet," she whispered, that much was true.
"I know sweetheart," he said, kissing the top of her head, he didn't expect her to be either.
"Just don't dare to let go," she whispered, closing her eyes to try to get some rest, suddenly feeling so very drained.
"Never, I'll never let you go," were the last words she would hear escape her lips that night, before she fell asleep.
The were to wake up early the next morning, still dressed, she gave him a quick peck on the lips, before getting out of their bed. Glad he hadn't let go of her during the night, as she needed their closeness. He didn't wake from it though, she wondered if he had even noticed her soft lips, brushing upon his rough.
Sighing, she went towards the bathroom, to get a shower, then getting back to get dressed. By that time he had woken up, he looked at her as she changed clothes and said, "Good morning, beautiful."
She didn't answer, unaware of if she should be mad at him or not, unaware on how she was going to handle it all. Slowly Linda let the room, leaving a puzzled Danny behind, but only for a second though as he needed to get up as well. After all he did have to work.
Linda were to wake up the two boys, making sure that they got dressed while she made their lunches and prepared breakfast. Danny were about to leave when she yelled, "You need your breakfast."
"I don't have time," he called back.
She came to him where he stood in the hallways, giving him a sandwich and an apple saying, "You'll need it. Please be careful out there."
"I will, see you for dinner?" he asked.
"Always, I'll call if there is anything," she said.
He nodded, bending to kiss her forehead, nose and then lips, making her blush shyly. He looked deep into her eyes, and she into his as they were having a conversation without words. She sighed, backing away and he slowly left.
Linda was cleaning the house and going through so bills when the call came from Jack's school, he had broken down in class due to the events from the day before. She would of course pick him up and once. She tried to talk to her, but it seemed like he was shutting down, so she called Danny. She knew she shouldn't interrupt him at work, but to her this was at the moment far more important.
He answered at once, saying he would be right home, which he also was. She wondered how much trouble it would be for him to just leave like that, then again they knew what had happened. She said what was needed and let her boys, talk amongst themselves. She figured it was better that they talked it out man to man, as it didn't seem like Jack wished to talk to her.
The shock however came when she came down the stairs and saw her husband teaching her son about his gun. How could he do that the day after? How could he do that at all when he knew all to well how she felt about the subject?
Linda were to snap at him, sometimes she just wanted so badly to hit him, for not thinking, for not showing any consideration to her feelings about the matter. For not at least discussing it first. She knew he was right about they should be taught about the gun, but this soon...
She just wanted to scream out load, and go at him, instead she somehow managed to keep cool and let it slide, inside she was boiling.
Linda like any other cop's wife loved her husband, even when she worried like crazy wondering if he would come home to her, she didn't want to ask him to quit his job for her and the children, all she wanted was for him to be more careful, and sometimes think a bit further than the tip of his nose. Was that really too much to ask?
It was the morning of the funeral, she hadn't let him hold her that night, she was too pissed off. Danny had laid up thinking the whole night, figuring out what he had to do to make her happy, to make her feel safe and loved. Then he knew, he had to offer her to give up his job, what he loved, as he loved her and the boys more.
He put his badge in a box and gave to her, leaving her without words, due to the gesture. She couldn't have predicted it, not in a million years. It was like he finally saw her, saw what she had been trying to tell him. To her that at that very moment meant more than anything else, that he was willing to give it all up for her. Of course she would tell him not to, but the fact that he did that...
They sat beside each other listening to Frank talk, it was beautiful, the speech really moved her. When she came home, she knew she needed one thing, to feel him, to feel alive. For once she was glad the boys were at school. Dragging him to the bedroom, laying down on the bed, it was a clear signal and he wouldn't deny her. Not then or not anytime after it. He would take her with great passion, making her come ever so hard, shaking in his arms. Making her feel, twice, before he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as she wept. He didn't ask why, in the end he didn't have to.
He held her close, kissing the top of her head, whispering, "I love you, beautiful."
"And I you," came out between the sobs, kissing his bare chest to confirm. The sobs would soon die away as she would fell asleep, safe in his arms. He just let her, there would be no need for more words, sometimes they were best unspoken. He was just glad he had managed to med the mess he had made. At least for now, glad he had her in his arms, feeling wanted and needed, by whom he held most dear. He sighed of happiness whispering, "I'll never let you go beautiful, never."
He meant every word.
Thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated :o)