A Cry On Deaf Ears
Jayfeather still remembered Dawnpelt's accusation. "Jayfeather was there when Flametail drowned. We all saw him struggling in the water beside him. Why do we believe his story that he was trying to save Flametail? Since when has Jayfeather shown compassion for cats in other Clans? I believe he deliberately drowned Flametail in front of all of us!" Jayfeather tried to calm his mind; he tried to calm the confusion, despair, and rage that he held within him, but he couldn't control it. He couldn't control his emotions. How could this be? A medicine cat was accused of murdering one of his own, and the cats believed in this folly? Jayfeather vividly remembered of how he had become a full medicine cat apprentice with a name, and of how all of them had been happy for his success. Now their unspoken code was shattered, and they were against him and each other. The ShadowClan leader and warriors alike were convinced that Jayfeather had murdered their medicine cat apprentice, and his cries had gone onto deaf ears. No one in ShadowClan believed him. "I believe in what my sister says. Jayfeather murdered our littermate, and he must be punished." Tigerheart, Flametail's brother, had supported Dawnpelt's accusation. Jayfeather wondered if Tigerheart simply wanted to believe that Flametail didn't die for any reason at all. He suspected that Dawnpelt felt the same.
Jayfeather knew what it was like to lose a littermate. The grief over Hollyleaf's "death" had been as sharp as thorns. He and Lionblaze had blamed Leafpool and Squirrelflight for her death, because if they hadn't created a web of lies and deceit, then Hollyleaf wouldn't been lost. Jayfeather didn't know how much sorrow and detest he held under his pelt until Hollyleaf had returned. A feeling of relief and tranquility had overcome him as he drank in her scent. Jayfeather had told his littermate that he and Lionblaze would never forget her. "We would never have done that. Never." He had missed her, more deeply than she would ever know. That wound was healed, and now another was open. Perhaps Dawnpelt and Tigerheart were angry by the fact that Hollyleaf, his sister, was alive and well when their beloved brother was not. Flametail was forever lost, never to return. Jayfeather had remembered the feeling of fear that Flametail had within him as he drowned. Jayfeather had tried to save him, but Rock had told him that he must live.
"Let him go! It is his time to die, not yours. Let him go!"
Jayfeather would always remember that moment, whether he lived to be an elder generations to come or if he died in the battle with the Dark Forest. He would always remember the life fading out of Flametail's green eyes. Some that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. How is it that you know who dies and who lives, Rock? Jayfeather was innocent, but no one except his Clanmates were willing to listen. His cry was on deaf ears. "Dawnpelt, I was there when you're brother died. But I was trying to save him. That I failed is a tragedy for all of us. I had no reason to want him dead. And the water would have killed him on its own; he didn't need me as well." Dawnpelt had the revenge she wanted, and her intention had been dark. The ShadowClan warrior had dark intentions, and those intensions had succeeded. As Jayfeather thought about what happened, he found it hard to breathe normally. His head swam with memories. Jayfeather remembered when he had become Leafpool's apprentice and of how Spottedleaf had told him that it was his destiny to become a medicine cat. He remembered the births he had witnessed, and the cats he had healed, and of the dreams he had. He remembered his questions, his search for answers, and thirst for knowledge. Cherrypaw and Molepaw were now ThunderClan apprentices, and Seedkit and Lilykit were perfectly healthy kits. Briarliglt had not died under his care, and ThuderClan was grateful to him. He had wondered how long the she-cat would live. Leafpool or Spottedleaf couldn't have foreseen this. He didn't foresee this, and the pain that come with the accusation was the hardest pain yet to bear. Lionblaze had told him that lightning had flashed when he had denied his fellow medicine cats. A sharp thunder had echoed in his sensitive ears, and it seemed to him that StarClan was angry. Angry at whom he did not know. Jayfeather had listened listlessly as his brother tried to comfort him.
One of his first memories was sensing a leaf flying towards him, and pouncing on it. His tiny claws had grasped it, and he remembered wanting to be a warrior, despite being blind. It was not his dream to be a medicine cat, but Spottedleaf had convinced him otherwise. "Accept your destiny, Jaypaw." Squirlflight's words echoed in Jayfeather's ears as he lied in his nest. "Don't worry. No cat believes Dawnpelt. She's been driven mad by grief, that's all." Briarlight's calm breathing did not soothe him as it normally did. He opened his eyes, and saw nothing. Only blindness. He wondered if the reason why the Clans believed the accusation so quickly was because he was blind and because he was half-Clan; the son of a former medicine cat. His hated half-brother's words were recalled. "You have no right to be a medicine cat. No right to even live among the Clans!"
"Other cats have been hurt too! You're not the only cat suffering. Your pain is not the hardest to bear." At that time, Jayfeather had thought that the truth and the results of it was the worst pain to bear. He had thought that Hollyleaf's death was the hardest pain to bear. He thought that being a former medicine cat's son was the hardest pain to bear. He thought that having a father from WindClan was the hardest pain to bear. He was wrong.
No. This is the hardest pain to bear.