Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, unfortunately. I do this for fun.
Author Note: This is based on a very weird dream I had. It's slightly slashy, but mostly bizarre. Be kind, it's my first fic ever.
House blinked groggily in the early morning light and looked at clock. If it was 5 AM, what in God's name had wakened him? Was that his shower running? Bizarrely, he thought of Stacy. That couldn't be her- could it? Then he heard the shower stop, and after a few seconds, the door handle began to turn, but the door seemed to be stuck.
He dragged himself out of bed, alarmed in spite of himself. He grabbed his cane, thinking that he could possibly use it as a weapon, and limped to the bathroom door. Pushing on the door with his shoulder, he stumbled into the room.
And saw Wilson, dressed exactly as most people when taking a shower. The oncologist screamed and grabbed for a towel. House also screamed, hating himself for it. He turned around quickly and limped back to bed. Thinking better of it, he walked back to Wilson, who was still clutching the towel.
"Why the hell are you taking a shower in my house at five am? And why don't you have any clothes here?" House demanded.
Wilson blushed. "I... I... My hotel had a water main break and we all had to leave immediately. I took a walk over here, to seem if maybe you wanted to get coffee or something-"
"Naked?" House said, still incredulous.
"I'm getting there!" Wilson snapped. "I was walking here, and some homeless man came up and just... took all my clothes. I didn't get a good look at him and he didn't hurt me, so I just ran over here instead of going to the police."
House smirked. "Sure, Dr. I-Watch-Telenovellas-And-Can't-Keep-A-Wife. Sure. Now, where do you want to get coffee?"