a love like war.

title: a love like war. ((or, nico di angelo and why he wants to punch love in the face))
author: theromandisaster / andromeda_0301 / idkmanyoutellme /
author's note: I don't own these characters. Rick Riordan does. I don't want to be sued I just want to hug Nico ok.this was originally a one-shot, but some of you guys have been asking for a second chapter and I was bored, so I decided, hey, why not continue this? so yeah, welcome to my first percico/jasico story (ha. still can't decide.) and I guess I'll give you the ship warnings. (sorry guys, there will be no valdangelo! personally, I can't stand that ship.)
pairings: one-sided percico, one-sided jasico, slight percabeth, slight jasper, slight frazel, slight leyna ((shut up)), and mentioned caleo.

At first glance, you would think that Nico di Angelo's the teen who's going through his emo phase. While he doesn't want anything to do with the word emo, he'd rather describe himself as a pessimistic loner who usually sits by himself during lunchtime in the school cafeteria. With his depressing and all-around gloomy nature, no one really pays any attention to him, but, to tell the truth, Nico's fine with that. He always likes being alone.

He has a reason to be disappointed on how his life turned out. His dad's busy with work and he doesn't care about his children. His mom's dead. His stepmom's an annoying little shit who doesn't care about him and Bianca. The light of his life was formerly Bianca, his older sister, but one of her friends invited her to join a Catholic camp in a nearby church and she has actual friends now and it's almost like she has no time for her younger brother now. He has no ambitions, absolutely nothing worth living for, and he locks himself in his room, scrolling through page after page on the Internet and blasting his favorite Bring Me the Horizon songs aloud because why the hell not. He likes this kind of music a lot more than he should.

Nico didn't really think that it would be possible for his life to become even worse enough as it is, but his life became twenty per cent shittier when he started falling in love with Perseus Jackson.

He's never had romantic feelings for anyone in his life, but he's overheard Bianca on the phone and witnessed her break-ups with her ex-boyfriends before, and he can tell that liking anyone ever sucks and come on, he's seen the couples in his school argue and scream profanities at each other in the hallways. The only thing he knows about love is that it probably hurts, and he'd choose to die than to love someone else any day. At first, Nico was confused, because honestly, what kind of shitstorm did he miss because Percy Jackson is completely out of his league. He's insanely good at sports and he's smart and adorable and charming and he's a couple of years older and he probably makes fun of Nico behind his back, because let's face it, who doesn't, and goddammit Nico's just confused alright. He has absolutely no idea why he even likes him.

Percy Jackson isn't even gay, goddammit.

And most nights, he sits in his room, completely freaking out, because oh my god what the hell am I supposed to do does he even acknowledge my existence wait does he even think I exist does he like me does he think I'm okay I mean please tell me he thinks I'm at the least okay like that would be the best thing ever oh god what do I do I don't know what to do. He hates that he considers these thoughts normal and he's grown to hate his romantic feelings for him and goddammit he can't even call it love because love is one-sided and Perseus fucking Jackson doesn't return the feelings but honestly –

Why would he?

He has no other choice. Nico continues to sit beside Percy during English class and when the boy of his dreams starts talking to him, it's almost as if he's about to faint because he actually knows he exists and he can always smile around him and Percy is just goofy and dorky and dammit too bad he has a girlfriend and he's nice and Nico actually does feel comfortable – to an extent … at least – when Percy looks worrisome about the subject on the board and it's like, well, you know, at least he has feelings. At least he's human.

"I'll see you later," Percy flashes a smile at him and he's the first to leave the room and Nico's heart beats inside his chest and goddammit he can't hide these feelings any longer because it feels as if he's about to pop and although he's usually good at hiding his feelings, he has to tell him.

"Percy, wait!" Nico turns to look at the door to stop Percy in his tracks and just tell him how he really feels and get it over with, only to find out that he's the only person left in the classroom aside from his English teacher, who happens to be looking at him curiously as if it's the first time he's heard the lovesick teenager talk. Then again, it probably is.

Nico grabs his books and runs out of the classroom. He doesn't know where to run to because hell, how is he supposed to know where the boy is – he isn't Percy's stalker or something, he doesn't know what the guy even does in his spare time – but he runs anyway. He pushes past people in the crowded hallway, muttering apologies, and usually the crowds make him feel like he's being attacked or something (if that even makes sense) but not today, he runs anyway. It's the perfect time to tell him – it's Friday, Percy has plenty of time to think about it during the weekend, and Nico just has to tell him, and this probably has to be the most spontaneous thing he's ever done all his life.

Well, he's been on a rollercoaster once, but still.

He finally spots Percy in the crowd, and before he can stop himself, he calls his name. And when Percy turns around and smiles at him, it seems like the best thing ever, and he's glad he's finally telling Percy after crushing on him big-time since the beginning of the school year and –

"Percy!" a pretty blonde girl comes up to him and laces her fingers with his and the intimate act just … it pains Nico in a way that he's ever imagined and when she's kissing him … that's when he feels sick and he remembers a tiny detail – Percy has a girlfriend, and the two of them symbolize love itself. Percy's eyes light up and he looks as if he's visibly, honestly happy with her and –

How could he come in between the two of them?

Nico's not selfish. He doesn't want to ruin anyone's relationship, and Percy would probably be happier off with Annabeth than he ever will be with Nico. If he's happy with her … he's happy with her, and for the first time in his life, the di Angelo boy cares about someone else's feelings more than he cares about his own and in that moment, it dawns on him. It worries him what he would do for this boy. All because he thinks he's in love with him.

"Hey, Nico. How's it going?" Annabeth asks him, taking her eyes off of her boyfriend for the first time since she met up with him at the hallway and smiling at the di Angelo boy.

"Huh?" he probably looked confused. "You-You know me?"

"Of course!" she smiles at him – probably only to be polite, he thinks, because honestly, no one else would smile at him for another reason – and now he understands why Percy likes her. She's gorgeous. "We share Math class together! Well, I've never heard you talk until now, but it's actually nice to meet you."

"I-Yeah," he mutters in a reply.

"Uh, so … did you need anything?" Percy suddenly asks, and Nico contemplates on telling him one last time before he shakes his head in reply. He's about to apologize when Percy mutters an "oh," sounding disappointed, but it must've been just him. "Well – would you like to sit with us on our lunch table? I remember you sat with us once with Thalia, you two were talking about bands, right? That was cool. I mean, if you'd–"

It was becoming too much and he interrupts Percy mid-sentence. "No thanks," Nico declines, waving a hand. "I-Sorry, I like eating alone." And before either Annabeth or Percy could say anything else, he turns on his heel and walks away. It disappoints him that Percy doesn't say anything – doesn't stop him – but he thinks that Percy probably doesn't want anything to do with him.

Nico likes him. He really does. But he doesn't want to cause any drama and he has a girlfriend and as much as it kills him, the di Angelo boy knows when to shut up when it's necessary because it's the only thing he's good at doing besides over-thinking and he's doing Percy a huge favor. Nico's feelings will slowly disappear until they disappear completely and he'll forget about it over time because you know what they say – time heals all wounds – but for now, it's killing him and he can't do anything to stop it and the di Angelo boy just wants to slam his head repeatedly against a wall and maybe put on his earphones and blast Suicide Silence songs until his eardrums burst.

He'll tell Percy one day, but, for now, he has no problem with scrolling through posts of bands and pessimistic sayings on his Tumblr dashboard and listening to sad Sleeping With Sirens songs about heartbreak.

It's a better option than telling Percy, anyway, because it's like he wants the Jackson boy to hate him.