Tapping my thumb against the laptop, I try in vain to focus on the screen. Screwing my brows together, I glare at the blinking cursor on the still empty status bar.

"This is so…." Sighing I stand up and begin to pace the room.

"Come on Tori, you can write this."

Walking back and forth my eyes stay trained on the carpet.

"Just get it out there. How hard can it be to do this?"

Stopping my movement I look at the still blank bar.
'Harder than you think.' My mind answers back.

Groaning I fall onto my bed.

"It can't be this hard. It shouldn't be this hard." Biting my bottom lip I stare at the opposite wall.

For months I'd been trying to do this. In all honesty it shouldn't be that hard. Right? But then again, coming out is never easy. When I came out to my family I almost had a panic attack before I even got the words out.

But I know what the reactions of everyone will be. Well, I'm pretty sure what everyone's reactions will be. It's that uncertainty that's been gnawing away at me and taking away whatever courage I have to do this.
Letting out another deep sigh I look back over to the open laptop.

I almost feel as if I was coming out as a lesbian would be better than coming out as bi. I've heard the comments people have said. "You need to choose." "Bisexuality isn't real" "You're just being greedy."
Even in the things I've seen in the online LGBT communities there's still a stigma. All of this just makes me not want to even say anything.

'But you'd be lying to yourself and friends.'

Tapping my fingers against the bed I look away from my Slap page.

For a long while I'd been questioning myself. Back in middle school I'd started to notice my interest in girls, but I had pushed it aside. I knew I liked boys and I thought it had to be one or the other. And even then I didn't want to acknowledge my attraction to the girls in my classes. It wasn't until my first year at Sherwood that the feelings started to grow. And then it wasn't until my first day of Hollywood Arts that it hit me like a falling brick.

"Friggin Jade." I mumble irritably.

She'd been quite the sight. An angry young women who wanted to rip my arms off but wow did she look beautiful. As the year went on she looked even more so. It had gotten to the point where if she came to school looking exceptionally gorgeous, it was hard to focus in class. I don't blame her or anything, I'm the one who can't control my raging hormones. It's just…

I bit my bottom lip again.

I have no plans to ever tell her of my attraction. She's with Beck and that would just be, well, disrespectful. Plus there's no reason to tell her.

"Not like she'll reciprocate the feelings or anything." My heart gave a slight twinge.

I'd be lucky if she didn't mercilessly tease me every day until graduation.

Is it even worth it to come out?

There's only a year of school left. In theory I could just wait it out and not say anything. Come out after high school and not worry about it. Of course, the gang would still know and really they're the reactions I'm worried about most. But then again I wouldn't be seeing them every day so if they had a problem with it I wouldn't really have to worry about it. But if I come out now and they do happen to have an issue with me being bi, then I have to deal with it for the next year. But what if they don't have a problem and I'm worrying for nothing? I could come out and find a great girl to go out with at the school and not have to worry about hiding it from everyone. Then again, what if I'm ostracized from everything?

Rubbing my temples I let out a groan. I've been going in circles about coming out for months now and all my arguments are "what ifs".

What if everyone hates me?

What if everyone still loves me?

What if this ruins my future career?

What if I'm seen as a freak?

What if I'm stoned to death by rogue overzealous religious people in the Asphalt Café?

All in all I didn't really have answers to these questions.

Standing up I walk back over to my desk and sit back down. Staring at the still empty status bar, my heart begins to race.

This is something I need to do. I know that. There's no easy way to go about this so I may as well just do it.
Brining shaking hands up I place them on the keyboard. I moment passes before I begin typing. After a few seconds I stare at the words making sure this is what I want to do. After a few more tense moments I let out a sigh.

"No turning back once I press post."

Cursor hovering, my leg starts to shake anxiously and my heart races even faster. My stomach starts to feel like it's in a vice; I feel like throwing up. Teeth clinched I close my eyes.

"Just do it Tori." I tell myself again.

Another rolling bout of nausea runs through me and I begin to think that I shouldn't be doing this. That I can't do this.
Opening my eyes I look at the screen for a final time.

"But if I don't do it now, will I ever do it?"

Sucking it a sharp breath I click "post status".

Staring at the words "Status Updated" I sit frozen.
I did it.
I told everyone.

And now I wait.

AN: All right ya'll. It's been a good 3 years since I've last written anything. Last time I even posted anything was Novemeber 1, 2011. So actually, a little under 3 years.
But either way, it's been a while. I'm sorry if Tori is OC. It's been some time since I've written in her pov so it'll take some getting used to to get her mannerisms correct. I also didn't proofread so sorry for the mistakes. I might make changes to the story in the future.