Shinichi Kudo looked up at the old detective agency. The signs that shouted "Mouri Detective Agency" in black peeling paint were altogether too familiar for his tastes. An open window above the sign with bluish smoke floating through it told him that Kogoro Mouri was home and by the sounds of exasperated groans, was listening to the racehorses again. Shinichi shook his head as he started up the staircase towards the agency, 'gambling and drinking are that uncle's only good points', he thought to himself.
He paused at the first door and peered cautiously through the tinted glass. He could see the shadowy figure of Kogoro, with his feet up on his desk and a beer in his hand, as he tipped back and forth precariously in his chair. The glass displayed the same message as the building outside did, "Mouri Detective Agency". Shinichi stalked by quietly. He knew how easy it was to see silhouettes from either side of the glass. He continued up the stairs to his actual destination, the Mouri residence.
He pondered as he walked up the narrow stairs, how different everything really was from a taller point of view. Yes, he could actually hold onto the railing and not have to stretch. He nodded to himself that his original body really was better. He continued up. Appreciation of his original body in old settings was not the reason he had come here.
He finally reached the front door that had a brass number 12 nailed to it. He raised a hand to knock but stopped himself. How many times had he just pushed the door open, calling out "I'm home!" to hear the casual response of "Welcome back!" from the one who cared for the most? How many times did his heart break when she called him Conan-kun instead of his actual name. He felt his chest pound painfully in memory. How many times did he lie to her, to save her?
He felt his hands tremble and broke out into a cold sweat. He gently leaned against the wall opposite to the door and wiped his brow with his handkerchief. He recalled what Haibara had said, "Don't strain yourself." She had scoffed, "Though the antidote works, you'll be weak for months. Don't get too excited over reuniting with that onee-chan."
She had chosen to remain in her small body, reliving the years that were wrongfully taken from her by the Organization. She still lived in Professor Agasa's house and continued to attend the elementary school with Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko. Shinichi felt a slight pang of remorse for the three lost friends he had made. Despite the fact they were annoying at times, he had grown to care for them and truly thought of them as his friends and maybe even fellow detectives, though very amateur ones at best.
He pulled himself back to the present moment, and focused on the case in front of him. The case of the girl he loved and what he was supposed to say to her and how he was supposed to tell her the truth and oh god, she was going to kill him. He felt his hands tremble with a newly found tremor and gently slapped his face a few times. "Damn," he scolded himself, "Stop being such a baby. The only thing is to tell her the truth and hope she doesn't kick me too hard in the chest. I'm not well enough to withstand that yet." With a shaky sigh, he shoved his handkerchief back into his pocket and strode towards the door.
He lifted a fist, hesitated then knocked firmly three times.
At first, no one answered and for a brief moment, Shinichi considered the fact that he had never bothered to check if Ran was even home. She could be out with Sonoko or Kazuha for all he knew.
But his anxiety was cleared in a heartbeat when a soft voice called out from behind the door, "Just a second!".
Shinichi felt his heart thud against his ribs. His knees felt weak, his palms sweaty. Regardless of whatever he had gone through in the past years, this was the most anxious he felt. He cleared his throat and thought of what he was supposed to say to Ran when she finally opened the door.
"Yo Ran, I'm back. Sorry i made you wait." No, no. Too informal. For making her wait for him for so long, that was too impolite and hardly considerate of her feelings. He frowned.
"Ran, I'm back. And this time, for good. No more cases." Uhhhh too short... There were a million words that went unsaid between them and his first proper conversation with her had to encase all of them, to make up for his absence.
Before he could gather his thoughts, the door swung open and Ran was there before him, pushing the hair out of her eyes. She didn't look at him right away, her eyes trained on the stove. She had been cooking dinner. "Um, if you're looking for the detective agency," She started, "It's the first door on the left, down the stairs."
Shinichi figured as much. People, in their hurry, often mistook the door to the house as the door to the agency. He often shook at his head at their ignorance but understood why. Cases were often drastic enough, in the client's opinion, to resort said client into a useless mess.
Shinichi stood there, before Ran, her eyes still turned towards the lit stove, brow furrowed. The smell of curry wafted through the air and despite himself, Shinichi's stomach growled. He cleared his throat and said, "Ran" in a low voice.
Ran froze. She slowly turned to face him, blue eyes growing wide.
"Sh-Shinichi?" She whispered. Her eyes began to glisten, she repeated herself, tearfully, "Shinichi? Is...is that you?"
Shinichi never broke eye contact with her. He nodded, "Mhm." He murmured. She reached out a trembling hand and he held out his own so she could gently press her fingertips against his palm. He clasped his other hand over hers and said quietly "I'm back. Promise."
He mentally kicked himself, "Way to go, Kudo. So much for planning out what to say."
Her eyes filled with tears and threatened to spill over. She mumbled his name again and again, cheeks flushed. He began, "Ran, I-I'm so..." but was interrupted when she leapt at him and wrapped her arms around his torso, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.
He flushed at the sudden contact and stuttered, "R-Ran!" he protested weakly. She tightened her grip around him and wailed, "Shinichiiii. You stupid prince of fools. You detective loving freak. Don't ever leave me again!" He felt her clutch his shirt and lifted his arms to hold her close.
He leaned his cheek on top of her head and whispered, "I'm so sorry." He repeated it, apologizing over and over again.
When she finally released him, he wiped the tears from her face with his sleeve and gently teased her, "Miss me much?". She pouted a little and blushed, "Who missed you? I was just worried." She insisted. He smirked at her, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."
She stared at him pointedly, "But Shinichi, where did you go? You just disappeared out of nowhere. Did you solve that big case? You got into lots of trouble I bet, that's why you had to hide. Don't make me worry like that..." She rambled on a bit before stopped and smiling apologetically, "Ah... never mind." She mumbled, the gleam in her eyes when he announced himself to her disappeared, replaced with a sad sheen. "Off limits, right?"
Shinichi opened his mouth but couldn't find the right words to say. "Ran, wait, I..."
She interrupted him, "I waited for you..." She lifted her head, tears streaming down her cheeks again, "I'm really glad you're back." She said softly.
Shinichi felt overwhelmed and fought the urge to kiss her right then and there. But no, he had to explain himself first, she deserved that much, if not more.
He tried to start again, "Ran, listen, I..." She grabbed his hand and tugged him inside, "You can explain inside. Do you want anything to eat or drink? You look kind of sick..." Shinichi shut the door behind him and watched as Ran bustled around the kitchen, getting juice from the fridge and pouring it into a glass. He slid into his regular seat at the kitchen table, his regular seat as Conan, while his eyes followed her movements. He missed her, even though it was less than a week since he had last seen her.
He heard a door creak open but didn't take notice until Ran smiled widely and said, "Conan-kun! Can you believe it? Shinichi's back!"
Shinchi froze, a chill went down his spine. Conan? But how? He had turned back three days ago. Edogawa Conan, no longer existed on this earth. He turned his head slightly and came face to face with a very shocked, very real Conan. Without a doubt, both faces had the same fearful expression.
Conan stammered, "Ran nee-chan?". Shinichi's blood turned cold. How was this possible? This kid had to be an impostor. Conan blurted out in a high pitched voice, "That's not Shinichi, I'm..." The child stopped himself and clutched his small hands into tiny fists.
Ran bent down by the boy and looked at him in concern, "You're what, Conan-kun?"
Conan shook his head furiously and stared up at Shinichi, disbelief and mistrust in his eyes.
Ran straightened and moved towards Shinichi, placing a cool hand on his forehead, "You're burning up! And you're so pale... Are you feeling alright?" She asked. He moved away, leaving her hand floating in the air, a surprised expression crossing her face. Shinichi muttered, "I'm fine."
She shrugged and gestured to an empty chair at the table, "Conan-kun, do you want to join us?" She smiled at the little boy as he clamboured into the chair and continued preparing snacks.
Conan and Shinichi eyed each other through narrowed eyes. They both thought, this has to be an impostor. The work of the Organization? Someone who has a grudge against me? This doesn't add up... What is going on?
Suddenly, Conan fell out of his chair with a gasp. He writhed on the ground, clutching at his heart. Ran hurried towards him, food forgotten, "Conan-kun!" She cried out. He gasped and opened an eye. He smiled weakly at her, mumbling her name as she picked him off the ground. 'Exactly what I would've done.' Shinichi thought suspiciously to himself. "Shinichi," She mumbled, "Help me get Conan-kun to the hospital."
Shinichi raised himself from his seat. Just as he got to his feet, he felt a searing pain in his chest and dropped to the ground as well. "Shinichi!" Ran wailed. She got to her knees, Conan in her arms and shook Shinichi by the shoulder, "Hey! What happened! Shinichi? Shinichi!" She called out.
Shinichi struggled to keep both eyes open. His breath felt trapped in his chest and he was sure his lungs were about to collapse at any second. His body felt like it was burning and the floor was oddly cooling. From the looks of it, Conan had already passed out. Shinichi slid his bleary eyes to her pale visage. She looked so frightened and she had begun to cry again. Shinichi raised a hand to gently cup her face.
'Ran...' he thought, 'I wasn't supposed to cause you anymore pain and yet here I am, making you cry. I really am a fool.'
She yelled at him, 'Shinichi! Stay with me! Don't close your eyes! Please.' She cried. He felt her place her head on his chest. "Please..." She whispered.
He opened his mouth to speak, to comfort her, anything, when Conan started to spasm in her arms. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he began to scream incoherently.
Ran tried her best to hold onto him, "Conan-kun!" She bawled. He fell to the ground, flailing his arms.
Shinichi felt the world go in and out of focus. Ran's voice seemed peculiarly far away. He felt drowsy, his eyelids drooped and before he knew it, the world went black. The only thing he remembered was Ran's voice calling out Conan's name desperately. As he faded away, he wondered if Ran ever regretted becoming his friend.
Someone shook his arm. "Conan-kun!"
Shinichi's eyes flew open and he bolted upright. "Ran!" He yelled.
Ran grabbed him by the shoulders, "Conan-kun! Are you alright? I think you were having a nightmare."
Shinichi spun his head around, taking in his surroundings. He was small again, sitting in his futon in Kogoro's room. It was dark in the room, save for the light spilling in from the living room. The alarm clock read 3:20am in red LED numbers.
He felt his pajamas, they were soaked with sweat. Ran felt his forehead, "Are you alright?" She asked soothingly. "You had a bad dream? You were screaming in your sleep..."
Shinichi felt disappointment slam into him. He was Conan still. It had been a dream. Nothing more than a horrifying nightmare.
"Conan kun?" Ran asked again, concern creeping into her eyes. She didn't like the glazed look in the little boy's eyes. Topped off with the fever he had been fighting for the past few days, she felt exceptionally worried about the child's health. He seemed to be getting sick more and more often, coming down with random bursts of colds that forced him to wear a face mask and often drastically changed his demeanour altogether.
Just as she was about to repeat his name again, Shinichi looked up at her, through Conan's wide eyes and gave her a tired smile and shook his head. "I'm fine." He said hoarsely. "Just a bad dream."
Ran relaxed visibly and gently hugged the little boy, "Don't scare me like that." She scolded gently then smiled, "Alright, back to bed. It's really late, you know. I'll stay until you fall asleep."
Shinichi, no, Conan began to protest but figured there was no point in arguing with her. He laid back his head on his pillow as Ran pulled up the covers and settled them around him. She gently stroked his head and started to hum a lullaby they had learned from high school. Shinichi recognized it as the only song he could somewhat sing. He struggled to keep his eyes open, he wanted so badly to tell her what was going on, to tell her everything he wasn't able to in the dream. But knew deep in his heart that it was not the right time and place.
Eventually, he fell asleep, the last thing he saw, quietly singing and looking at him with tender eyes, the girl he missed the most.