Chapter 1

"All I can say is it's a good job it's the women that have the babies, if it were up to men the human race would be in serious trouble….." Penny remarked as she washed her hands in the restaurant restroom

Bernadette nodded in agreement the events of that afternoon had certainly paid testament to that fact where their partners Leonard and Howard were concerned. The Lamaze class that they had attended had been an unmitigated disaster. The two women sighed simultaneously as they gazed at their reflections in the mirror; they were now both a little over seven months pregnant, their due dates only a week apart.

"Howie won't admit it but I know he's scared about the birth, making all those wise crack jokes at the class was just his way of dealing with his unease…" Bernadette explained

She understood her husband better than anyone although in truth she had been majorly embarrassed by some of the remarks and jokes that he had made. There had been moments during the class when she would have been quiet happy for the ground to open up and swallow her.

"So are you worried that Howard won't be able to handle it when the time comes?" asked Penny before beginning to reapply her lipstick

"Yeah a little..…are you worried about Leonard?"

"Yeah a little" Penny replied echoing Bernadette's response

After practicing breathing techniques and birthing positions the teacher had shown the class a DVD of a caesarean section. Howard had fainted and Leonard had wound up tripping over a birthing ball and colliding with the refreshments table as he made a dash to the bathroom to throw up. Penny had always known that Leonard had a phobia of needles and the sight of his own blood, but up until now it hadn't occurred to her that he might have difficulty with being present at the birth of their baby. The two women exited the restroom and headed over to the table where Howard and Leonard were seated.

"You know Leonard we could be suffering with Couvade syndrome; you know when the male partner experiences symptoms of pregnancy…." Howard was saying

Penny rolled her eyes it was typical of Howard to come up with a lame excuse

"How's your head sweetie?" Penny asked Leonard who was studying the menu intently wishing that they could change the subject. Before he could reply Penny's phone beeped indicating a text message had been received. Taking her cell phone from her purse Penny beamed as she read the message

"Great my birthing tub is being delivered next week" she announced casually

"You're having a water birth?" Bernadette questioned with raised eyebrows

"Actually I was going to just use it for pain relief in early labour but then I did some reading up on it and I think a home water birth is for me…."

Leonard put down the menu he was holding and looked over at his girlfriend this was the first he had heard of Penny's plan to give birth at home

"And WHEN did you decide this Penny?" he asked

Penny saw Howard and Bernadette exchange a glance, they had been witness to many of Penny and Leonard's fights and all the signs were that this was the beginning of another one.

"I thought you'd love the idea sweetie you know how much I hate hospitals. Did you know that having a planned home birth reduces your chances of having a medically assisted birth?" Penny stated proudly she had spent the last month doing research on home birth on the internet but had only recently made her mind up.

"And what if something DOES go wrong and we're miles away from the hospital?" Leonard questioned "What then?"

Although he was trying to remain calm and didn't want a scene in the middle of a restaurant he was so angry with Penny for not including him in the decision and for the way she had so casually informed him.

"Nothing will go wrong honey I've had a normal healthy pregnancy and..…"

"Oh and who told you that nothing will go wrong Penny? Your psychic?" Leonard interrupted in an intentionally condescending tone "I'm sorry but it's totally out of the question"

In an ideal world that would have been the end of it, but Leonard knew very well that that was nothing but wishful thinking; he had never known Penny to back down on anything once she had set her mind on it. If anything he had probably made her more determined to do things her way.

"Excuse me? Out of the question?" Penny repeated

"Penny it may have escaped your notice but this is my baby too, so don't you think you should have discussed it with me before you made a decision that affected us both?"

The waitress arrived with a tray of drinks the conversation paused while she served the drinks and resumed after she had walked away. Penny drummed her fingers on the table angrily

"You always think you know best don't you Leonard? Just because you're the physicist with the fancy PhD and I'm just a community college drop out. Well in this case I'm the one who's pregnant and if I want to give birth at home then you're just gonna have to live with it!"

"Will you listen to yourself?" Leonard snapped "Do you know how childish you sound right now?"

"Bite me!" Penny spat back

Bernadette was shifting awkwardly in her seat she hated being caught up in Penny and Leonard's fights and wished she had some means of escaping. Penny folded her arms across her chest and refused to speak.

"You know what I've lost my appetite" Leonard said as he got up from his seat and tossed his napkin onto the table "Howard will you drop Penny home when you're done eating please?"

Howard nodded

"Sure no problem"

Penny scowled as she watched Leonard stomp out of the restaurant almost knocking over a busboy

"Ahh! He can be so unreasonable…. he ALWAYS has to be right!"

Bernadette and Howard exchanged another glance, neither of them wanted to get involved in this argument particularly as their sympathies lay with Leonard. In the end hardly anyone spoke during the meal and Bernadette was careful to ensure that the conversation was steered away from the topic of pregnancy or childbirth. As promised Howard gave Penny a ride home. She was still fuming as she climbed the stairs to the apartment that she now shared with Leonard. Not long after she had discovered that she was pregnant the tenants in apartment 5A above Sheldon and Leonard's apartment had moved out. It had been a perfect opportunity and had meant that Leonard and Penny could keep an eye on Sheldon as well as Leonard still giving him a lift to Caltech University where they both worked.

Entering the apartment Penny found Leonard slumped on the couch watching TV. From the look on his face she could tell he was still in a foul mood. She hung up her jacket and deposited her keys in the bowl by the door

"Hey" Leonard said without looking up

"Hey"

Penny wandered over to the couch and sat down

"Leonard…" she began only for Leonard to interrupt

"Have you come to your senses yet?" he asked his eyes fixed on the TV screen

"If you mean have I changed my mind about giving birth at home then no" Penny answered quickly

"Ok fine if that's what you want go ahead" Leonard said switching off the TV and throwing the remote down onto the coffee table "Just don't expect me to be there"

"Now who's being childish?" Penny retorted

Leonard shrugged

"Sorry Penny you can have your 'water birth'" he said making speech marks in the air with his fingers which only served to exasperate Penny further "But you'll be doing it without me"

The words hit Penny like a stab to the heart and she found herself needing to hold back the tears that were starting to sting in her eyes. Leonard marched off to the bedroom returning with a pillow and a blanket which he threw in temper down on the couch. The truth was that the idea of a home birth terrified him, the thought of complications arising that could potentially put Penny and the baby's lives at risk scared him to death. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and feared for her wellbeing somehow his anger was stopping him.

"Suits me just fine at least I won't have to watch you throwing up!" Penny shouted before stomping off to the bedroom making sure she slammed the door

Howard awoke that night and rolled over in bed to cuddle his wife only to find that her side of the bed empty. The alarm clock read 3am and he could see light from the lounge creeping in from under the bedroom door. Getting up he wandered out to find Bernadette sat at the dining table on her laptop.

"Are you ok honey? Its 3am" Howard said as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and gave a yawn

"I couldn't sleep" Bernadette replied "Sorry did I wake you?"

Howard shook his head and took a seat at the table beside his wife

"Is something bothering you? You were very quiet after we got back from the restaurant" he asked reaching for her hand

Bernadette bit down her lip. There was another reason other than the baby doing somersaults as to why she had been unable to sleep.

"Nothing's wrong but I do have something I want to discuss with you" Bernadette replied "but maybe it can wait till morning…."

Howard insisted that she tell him now otherwise he too would be unable to sleep. Bernadette cleared her throat

"I've been doing some thinking and I'd like to hire a doula"

"You mean like a birth coach?" Howard raised his eye brows "Why? Are you saying you don't want me to be at the birth?"

Bernadette shook her head vigorously the last thing she wanted was for him to feel rejected, but just as Howard was fearful of the birth so was she and she needed to have someone around her who was experienced, calm and able to support her no matter what happened.

"No not at all, this is our first baby and I just think that having a doula could be good for of us" Bernadette answered "It's not like we can't afford it…"

Bernadette's salary far out-weighed Howard's earnings, something which often bothered him. Picking up the information that she had printed out from the Internet Bernadette began to read aloud the potential benefits of having a doula and also personal accounts from couples that had used a doula. Howard listened patiently but deep down couldn't help but feel that somehow he was being side lined. In the end Bernadette seemed so enthusiastic that he felt he couldn't object, he didn't want to get into a fight particularly having witnessed how Leonard and Penny had fallen out over the issue of homebirth earlier that evening.

"So what do you think? Shall I call the agency tomorrow and have them send us the details over?" Bernadette asked excitedly

Howard took a deep breath and hoped that what he was about to say would sound sincere

"Sure honey if this is what you want then I'm behind you 100%" he flashed his best fake smile and slipped his arm around Bernadette's shoulders allowing him to pull her close and to kiss the top of her head.

"Thank you Howie" Bernadette exclaimed "This means so much to me!"