The Night The Sandaime Went Crazy
By: The Forsakened one
A/N Alright this was something I did just kinda to get back into the swing of writing again. I got this idea listening to the song The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al along with ch3 to Escape Artist Uzumaki.
Not too sure if this is any good but oh well. Naruto is around 12 or so in this so that gives you idea about ages for everyone.
Tell me what you think
It was that fucking clock again. Sarutobi gritted his teeth in annoyance at its constant ticking. He wanted to smash it so dearly but it was a gift from his son's wife Kurenai so he wasnt able to without making her feel bad.
He had run out of Sake long ago and his only available copy of Icha Icha was ruined via a nose bleed from earlier that day. Now all he had was the mountain of paperwork that sat before him.
"Minato…sometimes I think you died just to escape all of this…" He twitched again at the sound of the clock. "If only I could break you…" Sarutobi growled a little and eyed the clock with a dangerous expression. "Maybe if I made some excuse…no, no I cant do that…but then again maybe Naruto-kun could…no I couldn't do that to the boy…Kurenai is rather scary when she gets angry and she would no doubt flay the boy for breaking the clock." He sighed into his hand.
"Hokage-sama, we brought the newest paperwork." Sarutobi felt his blood freeze at those words.
"Please for the love of…Why cant I just suffer a fatal heart attack or something…Ah, thank you. You can put them over by the other stacks." The two assistants piled the paperwork onto the several large stacks that had grown to completely cover the chairs that resided in front of his desk.
"will there be anything else that you need Hokage-sama?" Sarutobi waved the two off.
"No, no…that will be all." With a small bow the two assistants left the office. When they were gone the Sandaime glared and focused a mild shot of killing intent at the paperwork. "I hate you…I hate you so much…" Then there was that damn ticking sound again. Sarutobi flashed the clock a mild dose of killing intent as well. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you…" Sarutobi smashed his face against the desk repeatedly. The clock ticking in the background continually echoed in the background while the piles of paperwork flashed through his mind with no end in sight. Then he saw the image of his ruined Icha Icha. That was it. A red hot fury bubbled up in his chest and a fire burned in his eyes. Jumping up from his desk he ripped off the Kage's robe, revealing his battle armour and let out a war cry.
"KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!!!!!" His desk along with all of its contents went up in flames. He took great pleasure in watching the paperwork curl up and change colors as it burned. He took an even greater satisfaction in hearing the dying sound of the clock, consequences be damned. All of a sudden the double doors to his office flung open and his two assistants ran in.
"Hokage-sama, what's wrong!?!" Sarutobi wheeled around and leveled a glare at the two while pointing an accusing finger.
"Damn you! Damn you both to hell for bringing all of this damnable paperwork!!!" He tossed one of the burning chairs at them and then jumped through the window to the streets below. The two assistants looked at each other and then back at the burning room.
"What the hell just happened?"
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"Now, now where is our young little friend…lets see its roughly about noon so he should be…ICHIRUKA!!!" The Sandaime hopped up onto the rooftops and raced towards the small ramen stand.
Uzumaki Naruto was on his twelfth bowl when someone grabbed his shoulder.
"Oi! Who the hell ar- Jiji?" He was surprised to see that said hand belonged to the Hokage.
"There you are Naruto-kun. Ive been looking for you."
"Jiji why do you look like your about to go to war?" His eyes lit up. "Are we going on a mission together!?" Sarutobi chuckled at the young boys mindset.
"Unfortunately not Naruto-kun, however I thought that maybe once your finished eating we could play a couple of pranks…"
"You want to prank people?"
"This place is far to bland for my tastes so why not. It'll spice things up." Naruto was beaming at Sarutobi's words. Here he was practically being given permission to play a couple of pranks by the Hokage, who had said he wanted to join in on said pranking. This was too good to pass up.
"ALRIGHT! Give me a few minjutes and I'll be done." Sure enough within two minutes Naruto had managed to scarf down three more bowls and was now patting his stomach happily. "So jiji, what pranks are we going to pull?" Sarutobi looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I know, how about we play a little trick on the counsel!? Never did like those arguing little rats." Naruto could only nod his head in enthusiasm.
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And so it went. They completely redecorated the council chamber so that the walls were now a bright neon pink, there chairs replaced with fuzzy purple bean bags and there table was replaced with a like replica made entirely out of Icha Icha books.
They didn't stop with the council. No they also played pranks on the Hyuuga clan which involved dying all of there white clothing a mishmash of bright random colors. Hyuuga Hiashi however was given the honor of having all of his clothing replaced with adult sized matching orange jumpsuits.
And so the day went with a prank being played on nearly everyone in the village. There grand finale however involved the Hokage monument, a large amount of paint and a very creative mind.
The first and second were painted up to look like clowns who had been suffering from severe hangovers.
Sarutobi painted his own stone face up to make it look like he was angry and shouting at the fourths stone face.
And last but not least, Naruto had the pleasure of painting up the face to look like a Chinese prostitute named ming li.
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Sarutobi stared up at the sky watching the clouds slowly roll past with a look of utter satisfaction on his face. Naruto laid next to him with the same shit eating grin. It wasn't everyday one got to prank so many people with the Hokage included in on it.
"Hokage-sama, please we request that you come with us." Morino Ibiki said as he and a few popped out of the trees.
"Please Hokage-sama we are only thinking about your personal well being.
"Wellbeing? If you were thinking of my wellbeing then you shouldn't have sat me behind a desk to do paperwork twenty four hours seven days a week. Now shoo, im busy." The gathered Jounin passed a glance towards one another. Instantly there was a net in each of there hands. "Umm…Ibiki…why do you have a fishing net?"
"As I said Hokage-sama, we are here for your wellbeing." Sarutobi shot to his feet and took off as the first net was tossed.
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" The net landed on one confused looking Naruto who immediately tangled himself up in the net trying to escape.
"H-hey, let me out of this! Jiji get me out of this thing!" The Hokage was already long gone as well as the group of jounins. "damnit to hell…"
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It would be the day that went down in infamy as civilians and shinobi alike were able given the pleasure to see a hog tied Sarutobi wrapped up in a fishing net being dragged through the main road with an escort of several highly trained Jounin.
When the Hokage was questioned the next day about his actions he merely grumbled and turned away from them.
Naruto managed to escape the netting but was unable to escape the Sadistic Kunoichi named Anko that Ibiki had let loose to round him up. When brought before the group he was sporting several bruises and was bleeding from many small incisions although still sporting a shit eating grin.
When Anko was questioned, her only response was a blush that enveloped her entire body.
Oh yes, that day would surely live in infamy indeed.
A/N Well there it is. It was originally longer but my roommate decided to play around with my laptop. Oh well.
Not much to say other than why anko was blushing…(^^) I leave it up to your perverted little minds to figure out.