Bravado
by TheKittyRin
Summary: It began with the same palpitation in her veins. She found she couldn't breathe. Could it be she was dying? Warm hands shook, stirring her gently awake. She screamed. (Set during S3 finale, hints of Korrasami)
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Light.
Fade.
Agony.
It began with the same palpitation in her veins, the same skyrocketing pulse.
Korra could feel her heart thudding loudly and her hands trembling uncontrollably. Her saliva was thick and her hair damp from the humidity in the air. Even now, she could hear her chest rising and falling rapidly, the wooden bed creaking under her weight. Her mind went numb.
She felt hot tears blur her vision as she gasped for air.
The flashbacks came to her all at once. Shadows haunting every memory, ever instant of her life. His hand, grazing against her skin ever so lightly, the poison infiltrating her blood system and making her relive the horror...
There's no place in world for you anymore, he had murmured viciously.
You're weak, they had all said to her.
She screamed.
Was she dying?
She wished she was.
She wanted the pain to end.
What was the use of living again?
She felt warm hands shake her, stirring her gently awake. Korra blinked, letting a loud sob escape from her mouth.
She opened her eyes, her wet eyelashes tickling her skin.
She was panting heavily, her fingers holding on dearly to the blanket to unleash her emotional turmoil. She gulped, her eyes frantically searching around the room. Her breath was short and fast and it became exceedingly hard to concentrate.
"Korra." a familiar voice called out, brushing the bangs out of her eyes. She realised how comforting those fingers felt. "Hey, you're alright."
The young Avatar glanced at the woman leaning next to her, her dark curls stroking her wet skin; the experience made her shiver with pleasure and reassurance that she was now safe. She inhaled, her breathing uneven despite her newfound security. The sensation was mixed with the aroma of the woman, her jasmine scented perfume infiltrating Korra's senses.
Korra sat up, glancing at her.
"Thanks Asami." She gulped, wishing her body would stop shaking so violently. Asami gave her a soft smile, but her worried expression did not leave her side. She sat down next to Korra, squeezing her arm with care. "I just can't seem to get it out my system," Korra added.
"Where you dreaming of... him again?" Asami asked, her voice sounding hesitant but still concerned. There was no need to mention a name, both women were very aware who 'him' was. Korra looked down at her hands and clenched them to canalize the overwhelming emotions. She felt empty.
She wished she could end it all right now.
Disappear forever.
She couldn't speak, her heart still sore, so instead, she nodded in confirmation. She was panting now, her nostrils flaring, trying to catch another glimpse of Asami's scent.
"Korra..." Asami said as she touched Korra's hand, gripping it with force and conviction. "Everything is going to be alright."
Korra desperately wanted to believe what Asami was telling her, really. It was just an impossible task. Everything was not alright. She no longer lived in paradise.
There was no lie, no truth now that could heal her wounded soul. She felt distraught, and didn't believe she could be mended, not even by the healing hands of her friends.
"I'm broken..." Korra muttered, her voice cracking as she let out another sob, her vision growing blurry again. She broke out of Asami's touch and used her hands to cover up the ugliness of her face. Another wave of pain entered her and she felt herself shivering.
Pain.
Agony.
How could she endure it any longer?
"Ssh..." Asami began to stroke Korra's shoulders, her fingers drawing circles on her bones.
Asami Sato was never a particularly outspoken woman; she usually let her actions speak for her thoughts. Still, what Korra needed now was a friend by her side who would aid her into finding the motivation to stand on her own two feet and move on.
Asami understood. Depression was an obscure monster to fight.
She continued to press down on Korra's arm, sending her a wave of reassurance.
"It's fine to be broken, sometimes," Asami explained, "it's okay to be weak."
Korra took a deep breath, her throat making lots of small gurgling noises, "But I'm the Avatar..."
The worst Avatar.
"Korra, you have especially the right to be broken," Asami insisted. "Nobody expects you to always be strong all the time-"
"But the people," Korra gritted her teeth, burying her face into her hands, "they expect me to bring balance to the world."
Asami stopped massaging her and shook her head, "The people are selfish, Korra. They don't know you or what you had to go through."
Korra snorted, cracking a goofy smile, "I'm really undeserving of the Avatar status."
She wished she could give it up.
She wished she could live a simple life without all this pressure.
Without the pain.
"No, you're not. I've seen you for who you are." Asami whispered, her eyes aloof and disconnected from the reality.
"Oh yeah? And who's that?" Korra grumbled, tightening her lipS in discontent. Asami sighed.
"You're the most extraordinary person I know. You're brave, beautiful, smart and you're not afraid to speak your mind," she explained, putting her arms over her chest, looking more determined than ever, "This isn't the moment to doubt yourself. I won't give up on you."
Korra blinked, a little taken aback, trying to ignore the headache. She felt heat rush through her cheeks as she cracked a small smile, "Hey, it's nice to know someone has a high opinion of me."
Asami smiled back, "Of course."
Korra blinked, taking a deep sigh, "Hey, you know, you're pretty cool too."
The dark-haired woman grinned and resumed her massage, moving on to Korra's shoulders. The young avatar seemed to melt at the touch.
When she was done, Korra looked disappointed that it was already over.
"Tomorrow is Jinora's Ceremony. You should probably try to get some sleep." Asami said, her own exhaustion starting to get a hold of her.
At the mention of sleep, Korra seemed frightened again and Asami regretted instantly her choice of words. She saw Korra's lower lip quiver from fear.
Pain.
Fear.
Alone.
It began to be hard to breathe properly and Korra had to grip the side of bed to not lose her balance. She couldn't do it by herself, not tonight. She was afraid, so afraid of what happened in her dreams.
"Hey, um, Asami?" She felt herself say, her breath short and panting.
"Yes?"
"Do... do you think you could spend the night here? I mean, sleep near me? I..." I what? She didn't know what to say, how to explain the situation to Asami. What if she decided to leave? She felt another rush of nervousness get a hold of her.
She wanted to die.
"Of course, Korra," Asami smiled, beaming inside that Korra was asking for her help.
Surprise.
Relief.
Korra's beating heart stopped momentarily and her stress seemed to dissipate, lethargically. She took a long breath, bewildered that she wasn't spending the night alone.
She had friends, after all.
She wasn't alone.
She sighed, letting all her worries wither away.
Asami was pleased.
Korra had a long journey ahead and this was the first step towards it. She would be facing her fears, but not alone. She would be low, but not without being pulled up.
Korra was on her way to heal.
It would take time.
She would not come out the same, but that didn't matter.
Because she wouldn't be by herself.
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I'll find my own bravado ~ Lorde
You guys don't understand my excitement for season 4. I didn't hate the past season but there were some elements that irked me but I love (probably not the best word to describe my sentiments) how broken Korra has become because it will allow for some serious character development, and me love that so much.
As for this story, I'm a mega shipper of Korrasami but it just wouldn't feel right if anything romantic occurred in this scene. Feedback is always really loved and appreciated!