Noises of happiness
DISCLAIMER: not mine, though I often indulge on pretending...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is an idea I had this morning while going to work, listening to the radio in my car: the song is Che rumore fa la felicità by Negrita. I know, italian song, difficult to find, but it's a great song, it's worth it. I provided a literal translation of the verses, not very poetic, but if you don't speak Italian you might loose something... feel free to ignore the whole thing if this bothers you.
I'd really appreciate any constructive criticism to this effort of mine... I'm trying to write better, and your contribution would be very important. Thank you all!
SUMMARY: Temperance muses on things while jogging in the park.
She wasn't so fond of jogging: too much time needed, sweat and sore muscles, other people running on your same path. Somebody thought jogging was a lonely sport. Well, it was not.
But today she was taking her chances.
Sunday has come after an uneventful week of work, during which they had no cases and she merely struggled with unknown bones long forgotten in Limbo. Staying home wasn't as appealing as it always seemed when working on rough cases, she needed the distraction, longed for some outside activity.
The park was almost deserted, very few people were facing the new day so early in the morning, all joggers with their iPod headsets, seeking isolation in their music. She, however, was not listening to any music, she was letting her mind find its random paths.
Thinking freely had been hard, lately. Every thought tended to focus on Booth's death or on Zach's situation. Not good, that's why she kept her mind busy with her work and her novel, both leaving no room for spacing out on other issues. But it was becoming difficult to keep the focus on things, and she knew she had to face her own thoughts sometime soon, or she would not be able to handle them in a rational and logic way.
Given the possibility, her mind tried to handle subtle and purposely hidden issues.
Che rumore fa la felicità. Which noise does happiness make
She was confused about her reaction to Booth's fake death. She was extremely happy he wasn't actually dead, but she still was furious because he wasn't dead and he didn't tell her. Her brain offered her a very detailed recap of the time he was missing. She had been void, empty. She drowned herself in her work, not eating properly, not sleeping if not worn out in exahustion, not feeling anything at all. Why? She couldn't quite grasp the reason and that bothered her. So she let her mind drill down and dissect this anomaly.
Come opposti che si attraggono, Like opposites attracting each other,
come amanti che si abbracciano. Like lovers holding each other
Camminiamo ancora insieme, We still walk together,
sopra il male sopra il bene, Over good and bad
She and Booth were like opposites: where he was the heart she was the brain, where he was a people person she was a science person, where he was caring and sensitive she was cold and detached, ... the list could go on forever. But she cannot deny that they completed each other in ways nobody else could ever dream of. They were always arguing, their banters like tennis matches, but trust and respect and friendship were always there.
It really was amazing that, given the differences, they still were together, partners against all odds, fighting crime. The FBI was extremely proud of their success rate, they were one of the best teams ever. She also was proud of them, and he was too, but they both were more modest when coming to count winning rounds: they knew the victims suffered, died and were broken in many ways. She often wondered how they still seemed to maintain their ability to care for their families and friends despite all the crap they had to face day by day... they still were able to smile to each other before going home after a long and awful field day, to make fun of their therapist during mandatory sessions, to bicker over dinner and enjoying small things in general.
Ma i fiumi si attraversano e le vette si conquistano.But rivers can get crossed and peaks can be conquered
Corri fino a sentir male Run til you feel sick
con la gola secca sotto il sole. Your mouth dry under the sun
In perspective, their relationship was a long road of small conquests. She never let anyone near her like she let Booth, not even Angela: he knew things about her that nobody else did. And she was fairly certain that she too knew more about Booth than anyone else. Every unfolded truth was painfully given and equally painfully taken. They had learned the other the hard way, the only possible way. Their friendship was permeated with feelings that ran so deep they could even pretend nothing was there. But thinking about it now that she had the necessary insight to explore her true feelings, she had to admit that she did have feelings for her partner.
Mentre i sogni si dissolvono While dreams dissolve
e gli inverni si accavallano And winters overlap
quanti spilli sulla pelle How many needles on the skin
dentro il petto sulle spalle, In my chest, on my shoulders
ma amo il sole dei tuoi occhi neri But I love the sun in your dark eyes
più del nero opaco dei miei pensieri Darker than the opacity of my darkest thoughts
e vivo fino a sentir male And I live til I'm sick
con la gola secca sotto il sole. My dry mouth under the sun
Corri amore, corri amore. Run, love, run
Her running had slowed down just a tad while she tried to understand how she felt. Frowning slightly, she considered her reactions to Booth's death. She had missed him to the point that she stopped even attending to herself, to her basic needs like sleeping and eating. How could the death of a friend affect her so much? She felt like she lost interest in everything, like her guiding light had turned off leaving her completely in the dark. When did she let Booth become so important for her? And suddenly she had her answer: she needed him to show her how it was to live, really live and sense things and people. How to enjoy life, not only let it pass. She had learned from him how to live. And, in the process, he apparently managed to teach her how to love, because now, as she kept running, she could muster the courage to admit that she loved Booth. Yes, that had to be it. Because it was the only logical conclusion.
Insieme, la vita lo sai bene Together, you know well that life
ti viene come viene, ma brucia nelle vene e viverla insieme Comes as it comes, but burns in your veins and living it together
è un brivido è una cura It's a shiver, it's a cure
serenità e paura Serenity and fear
coraggio ed avventura, Braveness and adventure
da vivere insieme, insieme, insieme, insieme … a te. To be lived together, together, together … with you
She had never contemplated her life without Booth before his death: that's why she was clueless about actually living without him. She guessed she owed Sweets, in a way, to let her see the light. God, this really was twisted.
Due molecole che sbattono Two bumping molecules
come mosche in un barattolo Like flies in a jar
con le ali ferme senza vento With still wings without wind
bestemmiando al firmamento. Swearing to the firmament
Mentre il senso delle cose muta While the sense of things changes
ed ogni sicurezza è ormai scaduta And every confidence is now expired
appassisce lentamente Slowly fades away
la coscienza della gente. People's conscience
Her mind changed course of thinking, and she ended up grieving for Zach, despite the fact that the boy wasn't even dead at all. He might as well be, because his genius had been secluded in a mental institution. Accepting a serial killer's logic, even understanding it and finding rational motivation to help him with his sick plan could certainly convince people you're mad. Zach had betrayed them all, and still they loved him nonetheless. Strange how principles could bend when related to loving ones. She even helped her father to escape a lethal injection for the murder of the Deputy Director of the FBI... wasn't she a wicked person? She wasn't supposed to justify murders for the mere fact they were family... but she did, and she certainly would do it again in a heartbeat. Well, her father had had his way out thanks to her trick... not that she would let Booth testify in court again like that, she would find another way to give the jury its shadow of the doubt. However Zach was an entirely different matter: she couldn't save him from his punishment. That really was eating at her, but she knew nothing else could be done that hadn't already been done. The mental institution wasn't jail, and jail would have broken Zach in no time, Hodgins was right. Zach was lucky that Caroline decided to intercede. She resolved to go visiting Zach as soon as possible, she didn't have the time to really talk to him during his 'escape'. She really missed conversation with him.
Che rumore fa la felicità. Which noise does happines make
Che sapore ha, quando arriverà sopra i cieli grigi delle città Which taste does it have, when will it come over the cities' gray skies
che fingono di essere rifugio per le anime. That pretend to be souls' refuge
Corri fino a sentir male Run til you feel sick
con la gola secca sotto il sole. Your mouth dry under the sun
Corri amore, corri amore. Run, love, run
The sky was slowly clouding up, she already felt the first drops coming down. She headed home, forcing her brain to give her a full summary of her train of thoughts. Well... a) she had realized she loved Booth, b) she would do just about anything to have her father in her life, c) she had forgiven Zach for betraying her.
Insieme, la vita lo sai bene Together, you know well that life
ti viene come viene, ma brucia nelle vene e viverla insieme Comes as it comes, but burns in your veins and living it together
è un brivido è una cura It's a shiver, it's a cure
serenità e paura Serenity and fear
coraggio ed avventura, Braveness and adventure
da vivere insieme, insieme, insieme, insieme … a te. To be lived together, together, together … with you
Now the question was: what was she supposed to do with this newfound knowledge? The first, instinctive reply her mind offered her was to ask Booth. She frowned: she could talk to him about her twist in logic allowing her to care about murders, maybe... but it certainly would be awkward talking to Booth about what to do with her love for him, one hell of a self reference...
Dove sei ora? Where are you now?
Come stai ora? How are you now?
Cosa sei ora? What are you now?
Cosa sei? What are you?
Dove sei ora? Where are you now?
Come sei ora? How are you now?
Cosa sei ora? What are you now?
Cosa sei… cosa sei? ma… What are you… what are you? but…
She let her thoughts drift for a moment, glancing around and taking in the rain, the smell of wet grass in the park, the soft noises of the city in the background. A flash of her conversation with Pritchard, back in London, popped up. "I'd encourage you not to forego Everest". Precisely. She wanted to just climb the damn mountain and have the breathtaking experience herself. A smile blossomed on her lips. With a new spring to her pace, she jogged home to walk up to the base camp.
Insieme, la vita lo sai bene Together, you know well that life
ti viene come viene, ma brucia nelle vene e viverla insieme Comes as it comes, but it's fire in your veins and living it together
è un brivido è una cura It's a shiver, it's a cure
serenità e paura Serenity and fear
coraggio ed avventura, Braveness and adventure
da vivere insieme, insieme, insieme, insieme … a te. To be lived together, together, together … with you
So??
I'm not planning to write a sequel, but I might consider it if you guys are very convincing...