The rain pattering against the windshield drowns out the sound of my heaving sobs. But what it doesn't drown out is my pain, my humiliation, the disgust. The images shoot through my brain like bolts of lightning striking my heart each time.

"Why is he doing this to me?" I wail pounding my fists on the steering wheel of my blue Honda. The feeling of his body on mine still lingers.

Tears in my eyes blur my vision.

'BEEP BEEP.'

I blink the tears away just in time to swerve and avoid the SUV I almost hit head on going 60 mph. I pull to the side of the road- turn off the car- and whip out my cell phone. It takes me two times to dial Hayleys number correctly due to my shaking hands. Knowing Hayley she will pick up a call even at 1:45 am.

"Hello?" I instantly recognize her tired voice. I tell myself I can hold steady for five minutes while talking to her but I can't. I burst into tears. She's my best friend I just can't do it.

"Remy? Hun is that you?" Hayley asks frantically. "Remy Williams answer me damn it!" I compose myself enough to where I can speak.

"I-I need a place to stay. Can I crash at your place?"

Hayley releases a sigh of relief.

"Yes. Of course you can." She's 18, a year older than me. She has her own studio apartment which I stay at frequently.

"Where are you?" She asks snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh uh pulled over on I-5." I mutter, slightly embarrassed.

"Are you okay? Can you drive or do I need to come get you?"

Okay no matter how much I am screwed up at the moment it warms my heart so much to know she's always there for me, always has my back.

"Yeah I'm good. Just let me compose this wreck I call a face and I'll be there in like 15 minutes." I say.

"And you're sure you're okay to drive. Cause if you call back saying you're stuck in a ravine I'm gonna come down there and kick your ass!"

I release a sad laugh.

"Don't worry," I say my voice still hoarse. "If I get stuck in a ravine I'll walk to your house so you can kick my ass there, just to save you the trouble. Okay?" Hayley laughs, and then turns serious.

"I mean it careful. Promise."

"Promise. See you soon." I hang up the phone and toss it onto the passenger seat.
"Okay Rem now to fix your face." I dig through my duffel bag and pull out my makeup. I don't need to look in the mirror to know that my face is red and blotchy, and that my eyes are twice as green. I know this because it always happens when I cry.

I quickly apply my makeup to where I look decent. Taking the hair tie off my wrist, I pull my long black hair into a ponytail and freeze. My hair hid it before but now with it pulled back, nothing is hiding the hand like bruise on my neck.

"Oh my god." I whisper touching my neck gently, but still wincing at the touch. I rip the hair tie out of my hair and look in the mirror one last time before I start the engine. My eyes burn, my face is red, and I feel as if I have swallowed a fist of clay.

"Okay." I say. "Ready to go." And start the car.

I get to Hayley's house at 2am. I turn off the car, grab my duffel bag and head to the front door. I see that the bedroom light is on which means Hayley is waiting for me. This routine has been going on since I was 16. Whenever I need to get out of my house Hayley lets me crash here. Her boyfriend Rick doesn't seem to mind either just as long as I leave his Red Bulls alone otherwise… it's going down.

Hayley and I have been friends since I moved here in 2nd grade. She was outside playing with her sprinkler when I first saw her. She called me over to play with her and just like that we were best friends. Hayley always said my family was picture perfect. Hard working dad, stay at home mom, foot ball star for an older brother, and the pretty younger sister (me). At least that's what Hayley thought. And I guess this was true for awhile until my 16th birthday at least.

My mom decided it would be fun to take me out on a shopping spree for my big

1 6, and I was so excited to get out of the house away from my brother and his sweaty nasty friends. You would think okay older brother + foot ball player = hot friends…uh how about not. They were such pigs it wasn't even funny. They found it intensely hilarious to ruin my life by putting me in a choke hold under there sweaty arm pits, or mooning me as I walked upstairs into my bed room. I mean really? Some white guy's hairy ass is so not the image I want in my head before I go to bed. So the day of my 16th birthday my brother invited all his 'buddies' to come over for my birthday to 'celebrate' so getting out of the house for a couple of hours was like heaven.

"Okay Remy this is your day. Today your whole life is going to change." When my mom said this I was assuming she meant for the better but at the time I didn't know how wrong I really was.

"So honey, where to? Old Navy?" I was grateful that she was taking me out but Old Navy? I tried to hide the "ick" look on my face but she saw right through me.

"No, your right you don't have to say anything. I mean come on this is your 16th birthday I can take you wherever you want."

"Thanks mom." I said leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. I looked out her window as we passed by Old Navy. I would give up anything to be able to just go back and say "Mom, Old Navy's perfect."

We decided Woodburn is where we would go shopping. I remember this day perfectly. The sun was just starting to peek through the clouds above us, and the sky was a smoggy gray color but still beautiful.

"Remy, I just can't believe how fast you are growing up. It's like it was just yesterday that I could hold you in one arm." I could see the tears building up in her eyes.

"Mom, please no tears."

She sniffed and wiped her sleeve across her eyes.

"I'm sorry it's just that-,"

"MOM, look out!" She whipped her head to her right to see what I was yelling at. A large semi was out of control. My mom slammed her brakes to avoid the swerving trailer but it was too late. The back of the trailer hit the front bumper of our car, causing us to drive into the median at 60mph. We flipped in the air several times before we actually hit the ground. My head slammed against something hard almost making me black out. I could only hear the sound of metal against concrete. When we finally came to a stop I looked over to see how my mom was.

"Mom," I said trying to nudge her arm but almost screamed in pain. Every bone in my arm was shattered I could tell.

"Mom!" I yelled feeling helpless. Only able to move my head I looked at her chest to see if she was breathing but I couldn't tell. I tried ramming my door open with my semi good shoulder but the door was dented in. Tears burned the cuts on my face, I needed to get out, and I needed to get my mom help. Everything was spinning; I was dizzy from all the blood rushing to my head, in pain, nauseous from the smell and taste of all the blood from whom I didn't know.

The last thing I remember before passing out was the sound of sirens.

My mom made it all the way to the hospital but died the next day from internal bleeding. The worst part of all of this was the way my dad looked at me when the doctor said she was dead, the moment he looked at me I knew from my eyebrows to the soles of my feet, He blamed me, hated me and would never forgive me as long as I lived.

I was diagnosed with a skull fracture; my arm was shattered, and had bruises over every inch of my body. My life went even further into downward spiral since then.

My dad started drinking almost immediately. He didn't even sober up for her funeral. Jake Williams my 'dad' had never really terrified me before; spanked me, grounded me yes that scared me but he had never terrified me…until the day of my mother's funeral. The day of the funeral my dad wouldn't look at me, talk to me, or even breathe in my direction. When he finally acknowledged my existence he was going to give his speech.

"Kennedy Marie Williams was an amazing friend, daughter, mother, sister & wife." Okay he started out good, like a normal husband grieving would.

"Most of you who came here today think that my wife was in a terrible car accident," My breath stopped in my chest.

"But that's a lie she was murdered." A gasp left the crowd, and then the room fell silent.

My dad started laughing.

"You think that's bad well guess who murdered her." His head swiveled to a pew, then to my brother then stopped at me.

"Ben do something." I hissed to my brother. His hand tightened around mine.

"Her own daughter." Another gasp sailed through the crowed. At that exact moment it felt as if the world literally revolved around me…and I didn't like it.

"Okay that's enough!" Ben yelled shutting the crowed up.

"Remy did nothing wrong. It was an accident that's all. It was no ones fault." Ben gave my hand a quick squeeze, popping a few tears out in the process.

"Shut the hell up. She was MY wife and I will speak!" My dad yelled so loud that the mike sent screeches through the speakers making everyone cringe.

"This is a funeral for Christ sake!" I screamed finally catching my dad's attention.

"Mom was an amazing person as you said dad and for that she deserves to be buried in peace not like this, not with her wasted husband ranting like a lunatic. So go sit down and let the service continue…please." Everyone hunkered down and didn't say a word.

"No!" My dad said yelling breaking the silence. He took his arm and knocked over a vase of flowers which shattered across the floor.

"Dad stop!" Ben yelled trying to take him in his grasp.

"Get off of me!" My dads flailing legs kicked over the podium causing it to bump the table in front of it… which held my mothers vase of ashes.

"No!" I screamed running to catch it before it fell crashing to the ground. But I was too late; the vase broke spewing my mother across the marble floor.

"No no no!" I whispered trying to scoop the ashes into a pile; my tears making the ashes clump together.

I looked up at my dad and behind the tears was pure hatred.

"You bastard!" I seethed.

When he hit me, I didn't see it coming, it was just a quick blur, a flash out of the corner of my eye, and then my face just exploded, burning, as his hand slammed against my cheek.

When someone hits you the first thing that is supposed to come to mind is hit them back twice as hard…well not in this case. So I just said,

"Oh my god."

After that moment he was no longer my dad, he was no longer my mother's husband; he was Jake Williams the man I truly hate.

Knock knock knock.

I hear running feet, a large thump, and then an "Ow!" Hayley opens the door in frenzy then starts patting me down.

"Looking for a bomb?" I ask sarcastic. She looks up at me impassively.

"No. I'm looking for bruises, wounds any reason to go kill him right now." I shake my head and laugh.
"Yeah you always say that but he's still there every time I go home now isn't he?" I say brushing past her into the house.

"Oh so you're bringing that up well as long as we're doing this. How many times have you said "Hayley I swear next time I'm going to call the police" hmmm?"

Okay she got me there.

"Oh come on. Okay you're right I have said that a million times but I am 2 months shy of 18 and if I can just wait it out I will never have to deal with him again." I throw my bag in the guest room and head for the fridge.

"Fine but if he ever touches you again I'm going to make him infertile."

I pop open my diet coke; take a sip then reply,

"Sure you are." Her intense glare is interrupted by Rick.

"Is she here yet?" He hollers from his room.

"Hi-ah Rick." I holler back.

"Hey Remy. Hal come back to bed." Hayley lets out a large groan then turns in my direction.

"You okay here?" she asks coming into the guest room which I escorted myself into.

"Okay…as rain." I quote from her favorite movie.

"Nice."

"Thanks. I thought it was pretty good myself." I say back.

"So full of yourself." She tsk's at me.

"Wouldn't you be?" I say.

"Good night queen of sarcasm." Hayley says before shutting my door.

"Good Night." I yell just as it shut.

An hour later I can't get to sleep.

"Ugh!" I mutter punching my pillow trying to get comfortable. But I know it isn't that, it just I can't get to sleep on my own.

I jump out of bed and go to my bag.

"Where is it…ah" I pop 1 Benadryl in my mouth hoping it will make me fall asleep soon.

I flop around until I can find a comfortable spot. 30 minutes later the Benadryl starts taking affect. My eye lids feel heavy as they start to close…finally I fall asleep.

Knock knock.

"Who is it?" I asked slightly scared.

Knock knock knock.

"WHO is IT!" I said fiercer.

"Open the damn door!"

Question answered.

"Go away Jake!" I said logging off my computer ready to start packing my duffel bag.

"This is my house now open this damn door before I open it myself." Part of me knew he wasn't bluffing but being the teenager I was I talked back.

"Oh really I'd like to see you try."

Wrong answer.

The large BANG startled me right out of my shoes.

"Go away. PLEASE!" I begged knowing it was my only shot now.
BANG.

What ever he was using to get through the door was working. The door started to burst open.

I ran to my closet and got my duffel bag and shoved as many clothes as I could into it in 1 minute. Next I ran to my bathroom and shoved my toiletry bag in.

I went to go open my bedroom window and repel down but I forgot my i-pod and cell phone.

I looked at my door, almost busted open, then at my dresser with my cell phone and i-pod.

How long would I be gone? How long could I live without it. Its summer and I NEED my i-pod.

"Uh." I grunted and shoved my leg back into the room. I ran to my dresser and grabbed my i-pod and cell.

Shoving them into my bag quickly, I started to run back to my window but was yanked back by my hair.

"Ah." I screamed. Jake threw me against a wall making my head crack against my mirror.

"Let go of me." I screamed trying to push him off of me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he kissed it. He leaned in to kiss me on the mouth but I spat in his face.

Taking what ever moment of weakness I could I shoved myself out from under him and headed for my window.

"No you don't." Jake yelled taking me back into his grasp.

His large hand wrapped themselves around my neck squeezing harder and harder until I couldn't breathe.

"Let." I gasped. "Go."

The look in his eyes sent shivers through me. A look of pure hatred was bestowed across his face.

"If I can't have you." He rammed me against the wall. "No one will."

Using one hand to pry his hands off my neck, I used the other punching him in the groin making him bend over in pain.

With him hunched over it made it VERY easy kneeing him in the face.

"You'll never have me." Whispering the only sound I could make from the lack of air.

Hearing him moan in pain gave me a sense of victory but I knew it wouldn't last long so I grabbed my bag, kicked him one last time then ran for it.

I shoot straight up in bed, the dream making a cold sweat erupt on my neck. But it isn't a dream it was a flash back of earlier before I came to Hayley's…what my dad did to me. What he always does to me and always will.

I walk out of my bedroom and into the bathroom. The cold water against my face feels amazing. All I want to do is take an icy cold shower. I splash my face one last time then look in the mirror. It takes all the power I have to not scream. Seeing my brother's face plastered on the clear glass makes me want to keel over in pain. I whip around looking for any signs of him…but there is nothing.

"Remy you're finally losing it." I whisper to myself.

"Remy!"

I scream, tripping as I do so into the bathtub.

Rick pushes open the door trying not to laugh.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you." He says helping me up.

"Well you did." I say trying to breathe.

"Like I said sorry. But I got to get ready for work so out." He jams his large fingers towards the door.

"Yeah of course." I say walking out of the bathroom and into the kitchen muttering, "I needed some serious coffee."

________________________________________________________________________

Rick left for work at 7:30, Hayley left to go grocery shopping. It took me almost an hour to convince her that I would be fine alone.

Having the house to myself has its upsides and downsides. The upside is I can just relax and recuperate but the downside is you can only do that for so long before your mind starts to wonder where you don't want it to go…and I am not going to let that happen. So I am going on cleaning mode.

Hayley is my best friend but with all due respect she is a pig and so is Rick put those two together and we have a pigsty.

"Let's put on some tunes."

I walk over to her entertainment center where Rick's kick ass stereo system with surround sound is.

"Hmm what do we have here?" I mutter looking through their CD's.

I open one of the drawers my jaw almost dropping. Who has these many CD's? There must be over 100.

"Good god." I shift through the CD's until I find an upbeat one.

"Metro Station here I come."

"Now if she does it like this will you do her like that? Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back? Now if she moves like this, will you move her like that? Come on Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake, uh shake it."

This was also an upside to being alone.

Singing.

Not that I don't do it in front of other people…well actually that's exactly it. I love to sing I really do and I am good at it but I am absolutely terrified to sing in front of other people.

I turn off the vacuum and put it back in the closet. I sweep, vacuum, mop, do the dishes, clean the bathrooms basically the whole she-bang all in record time. I look at my watch; it has taken me an hour and a half.

"Shoot." I am going to be late for work.

I grab my keys off the counter, throw my coat on and run for the door.

"Come on!" I yell, honking the horn.

Hayley plus my past boyfriends have mentioned once or twice that I may have a tad bit of road rage but I don't see it.

"Come on pick up the pace grandpa! Running late to pick up your Viagra? Some people actually have to get somewhere!"

"Finally." I groan pulling into the parking lot.

Working at Pac Sun is the best job I have ever had. I get to use my sense of humor, interact with people, get clothes half off, plus hot guys work here and come in all the time.

Who wouldn't like this job?

I run in hoping my boss won't be in here to notice.

"Thank god!" I sigh walking in seeing no sign of her.

"You're late!" Susanne yells from the back room.

"Ugh I know I'm sorry traffic was horrible." Susanne grunts; turns out she was here after all.

"Its fine but you're on your own today. Jimmy's out sick and I have a ballet recital to go to lucky me. So hold it together okay. And don't forget to lock up." She yells walking out of the store.

I release a sigh of relief, put my name tag on and start racking clothes.

Two hours later the bell to the store chimes letting me know someone is coming in.

"Hold on just a second I'll be right out." Yelling loudly from the back room, I finish up and walk out.

"Sorry about that. So can I help you with anything?" I say dusting my hands off on my jeans.

"Yeah actually I am looking for Remy."

I glance at my name tag and laugh.

"You found her."

He smiles at me and I almost pass out. Yes I work at Pac Sun and I have seen very hot guys but he is the definition of drop dead gorgeous and he was looking for me.

"Wow you," he clears his throat and starts again. "You are- you've grown up."

My brain halts to a dead stop. Now that I think about it he's starting to look very familiar.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" I ask.

He scratches his head, and looks as if he is very flustered.

"Yeah actually I, you're gonna hate me." He says his mouth in a slight crooked smile.

I'm thrown aback from his comment.

"Well in order for me to hate you I'd have to know you." I smile trying to reassure him.

"I'm Landen. I'm friends with your brother."
Whoosh! Just like that I want to snap the mannequin across the room in half.

My smile leaves my face and is replaced with a dagger glare.

Landen. Landen Davis.

He was one of my brother's jock friends # 27 running back for the foot ball team. Landen was actually one of Ben's decent friends; never once put me in a choke hold, never made fun of me. But still he is connected to Ben and just that is enough to turn my stomach into a pit of acid.

"What do you want?" I say, coldly.

"See I told you you would hate me." He says in an 'I told you so' voice.

"No Landen I don't. I hate my brother now answer my question what do you want."

"I am so killing your brother when I get back. I can't believe he made me do this."

"Is that a promise?" I say coolly, but serious.

"You really do hate him don't you?" Landen asks sadly, as if this affects him at all.

"What do you want Landen!"

He lets out a grunt which I hate to admit sounds utterly sexy.

"Your brother asked me to get you to talk to him." Landen says.

"Well you go tell my brother he can kiss my ass." I say, leaning forward on my elbows.

"Please just hear me out. He says he's sorry and that he never meant to hurt you."

I laugh. Is my brother on crack?

"He didn't mean to hurt me? He's sorry? Please I don't think so. He just wants something. Last time it was money what is it this time a car, a place to crash?" A piece of ass? I think silently.

"Remy please." Landen begs. "He's your brother don't you think he deserves a second chance? You owe him that much."

"I don't owe him anything! And the only thing he deserves is to rot in hell." I snap.

"Ouch. Can I ask…what did he do?" He asks completely sincere.

"He turned into my father. Now please leave."

Landen nods in defeat.

"Okay but at least take my number."

He rips out a piece of paper, writes his number and slides it across to me.

"Fine." I say factitiously.

He turns his back on me and starts to walk out.

"Wait!" I yell. He turns, his wavy black hair blowing around as he does so. At this moment he looks like a model… a Greek god model.

"Aren't you gonna say something like 'at least take my number if you change your mind about calling him'?" I ask curious.

"No. I don't want you to call for your brother. I want you to call for me."

He smiles brightening the entire store and walks out.

Oh my god was that a first move? No bad idea. I mentally scold myself. You want nothing to do with your brother so you can't call his best friend and go out with him.

"Ugh!" I groan and lay my face in my hands. Why does life have to be so utterly complicated?

Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap. My fingers graze across the wooden table's surface. I sip my glass of wine savoring the sweet taste. I usually have a glass of wine when I am stumped about something and Landen would be this something. So I am just sitting here staring at his number.

"Ugh! Hayley what should I do. I mean you have no idea how absolutely hot he is and he totally made the first move. I mean that sounds like a first move right?" I ask frantically.

"Mmm," Hayley says after swallowing her wine. "Defiantly. He totally likes you girl."

"No he cant I mean I can't. I cant like him he's friends with my brother and I am not going down that road again." I groan.

"Don't you think it's maybe time to put the past behind you?"

I'm shocked that she would even mention something as stupid as that.

"Did I just lose a brain cell? Did you forgot the small crucial detail that he tried to rape me and then left me with my sick twisted father!"

"Okay okay sorry I was just asking." Hayley says repentant.

"No I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped I am just so mad, and confused and angry." I let my face fall between my knees.

I snap my head back up and say,

"That's it! I'm going to call him."

"Okay you do that. It's the right thing." Hayley says.

"What the hell! Couldn't you have said that 2 minutes ago?" I ask in a snarky tone.

"Yeah I could've but this was a lot funner." I roll my eyes at her.

"I believe the correct vernacular is more fun. Sometimes you really surprise me on how dumb you are. Plus that's just plain mean!"

I slap her arm as I say this.

"What ever Ms. Dictionary." I laugh at her definition of me.

"Here toss me the phone." I say motioning her to hand me the phone.

"No I am not going to call him. If he wants me he can ask me out." I say in an outburst.

"Yep you are absolutely right." Hayley puts in.

I laugh and chuck the couch pillow at her.

The next few days are good and bad. The good thing is I found an apartment to move into when I finally turn 18, and I can completely afford it. The bad thing is Landen hasn't tried to contact me or come into the store since.

But I am not going to cave first if he wants to go out with me he can ask me. That's how it works in the 21st century buddy.

"I love this shirt." I say to the customer as I bag her clothes.

"I have one just like it but in red." She smiles at me.

"I know it fits so good and it makes me look like I actually have boobs." We both laugh at her remark.

"Well that's always a good thing. Here you go have a great day." I say.

"Yeah you to." She says and walks out. I walk into the dressing room to re-rack all of the clothes when I hear the ding of the bell.

I walk out to see that there was no one there. I go back into the dressing room assorting the shirts, pants, etc to their rightful hanger.

"Hey."

I let out a small shriek, dropping the pile of clothes in my hands.

"You scared the hell out of me."

Landen just smiles in triumph.

I glare at him. Not smiling so much myself.

"Well you look very smug right about now Mr. I'm so hot and I know it."

He glares back at me.

"That is so not true."
"I know." I smile, walking out of the dressing room to the cashier counter. He trails behind and walks to the other side.

"Then why'd you say it?" He says leaning across the counter closer to me. I could pass out right here.

"Because it made you feel like an ass." I say leaning closer to him.

"Well played Ms. Williams very well played. So now that we're friends I feel like I have the right to ask you this."

"We're friends?"

Trying to let that fact sink in, how can he be friends with someone like me and then someone like my brother?

"Stop side tracking me," He says. "Why haven't you called me?"

"Did you want me to call you Landen?"
He grunts at me.

"I foresee that you are going to be very difficult about this aren't you."

"Good guesser." I reply back.

"Fine then I'll ask. Remy would you like to go see a movie…as friends?"

The 'as friends' hits me like a blow to my stomach but I don't let it show.

"Sure." I am proud on how my voice stays strong.

"9:30 okay?" He asks.

"Sure 9:30. Now buy something or get out."
He clasps his hands together, to break the silence I'm assuming.

"Forceful I like it."

"Get out Landen."

"Fine I'm gone." He waves as he walks out.

Oh my god I am going to a movie with Landen…Ben's friend oh my god.

Landens POV

"Fine then I'll ask. Remy would you like to go see a movie…as friends?"

It takes all the strength I have to say as friends being that I want to be so much more that that.

"Sure."

Crap now she thinks I just want to be friends

"9:30 okay?" I ask.

"Sure 9:30. Now buy something or get out."
I clamp my hands together, to break the silence.

"Forceful I like it." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"Get out Landen."

Yeah not so much.

"Fine I'm gone."

Once I am out of the store I whip out my cell phone and dial number 1 on speed dial.

"Hello?"

I quickly clear my throat.

"Yeah hey I just wanted to call and say she said yes and we'll be there at 9:30."

"Okay thank you so much man…and you're sure she has no idea?"

"Yeah Ben…I'm sure."

I snap my phone shut and rest my head against the wall. How can I do this to her…but if I don't … I don't even want to know what he'll do to her.

________________________________________________________________________

"As friends…friends!" Hayley wails for the 5th time.

"You know Hal it doesn't get any better the more times you say it." I reply snootily.

"Sorry it's just he totally wants you."

I laugh at how sure she is of this.

"Oh yeah I just draw the boys right to me."

"You do your hot stuff."

I roll my eyes.

"You know Hayley as much as I am excited I can't help but feel like something horrible is gonna happen. Do you ever have those feelings?" I ask hoping for a yes. I hear a honk from outside knowing it is Landen.

"All the time. Now get out of here and make some boys fall in love with you." She says pushing me out the door.

I walk to his door steadily trying not to rush and seem eager, and not to slow and look blasé.

I open the door and hop in.

"Well I guess shivery really is dead." I say turning to look at him.

"Crap I would've walked to your door and all that but I didn't want to give you the wrong idea."

"Oh and what idea could that possibly be?" I ask.

"Never mind. Remy are you ready for the time of your life?" He asks his face completely serious.

"I am so ready."

________________________________________________________________________15 minutes later we are waiting in a 20 some people line waiting to get tickets to
"Wanted" which we both agreed on mutually.

"Come on pick up the pace. I'd really like to see this movie before I am 95 thank you."

I shield myself behind Landen's shoulder embarrassed by his outburst and to hide my laughing.

"What? Are you embarrassed by me?" Landen asks me.

I finally stop laughing and reply,

"Slightly."

"Well I am so sorry to inconvenience you with my rampages."

"Ha don't worry I have the worst road rage you'll ever see." I almost slap my mouth not believing I just said that.

"Well at least I am not alone." Landen replies.

I am finally starting to relax with him, open up. I don't feel all weird and skittish like I did before. Tonight is gonna be a good night.

"Well well well look who it is."

My entire body goes rigid and I think Landen's does to. I just keep my back to him hoping he will disappear.

"What is it Remy? Won't even look at your own brother?" Ben asks. He grabs my shoulder and spins me around to face him.

"What the hell do you want Ben?" I spit.

"Just the love and time of my baby sister." He muses.

"Well unless Lucifer made another spawn like you I don't know who you're talking about. Because the only thing I'm gonna give you is my foot up your ass if you don't leave." I say shoving him hard into the people in line behind him.

"Listen you bitch,"

"Okay Ben that is enough. I didn't set this up so you could be a jack ass I did this so you could fix what ever the hell you did wrong!" Landen yells.

I feel like I just went two rounds with Muhammad Ali.

"You, you set this up." I whisper. I mentally punch myself right in the face. I should've known better. How could I be so stupid?

Landen turns around his eyes showing emotion I can't explain.

"Remy just hear me out-"

I slap him in the face, feeling my own hand burn as I hit him.

"Okay I deserve that." Landen mutters rubbing his cheek.

Good. I hope it hurt like hell.

I saunter off, feeling like I can barley move. I feel numb…betrayed.

"Remy!" Landen hollers after me…so I walk faster.

"Remy wait Please!" His tone stops me; reluctantly I turn around to meet his gaze.

"What! What do you want from me?" I wail.

"Just listen to me let me try to explain. I only did this because I knew that if I didn't Ben would do something worse to get to you and I didn't want that to happen. So that's why I tried setting this up. I mean what did he do that was so bad anyway?" Landen asks out of breath.

"He tried to rape me Landen and then he left just disappeared! Leaving me all alone with a drunken father who has also tried to rape me multiple times. Ben was my one certainty for protection and he failed miserably. He was trying to live up to his big man. So now you tell me Landen…would you forgive him?"

I walk off wiping tears from my face hating myself as well. Someone might ask "why Remy? Why do you hate yourself?" and I would reply… because I'm still falling for him.

Landen's POV

"Remy!" I holler after her…as she picks up her pace. No please don't hate me please.

"Remy wait Please!" She finally stops and meets my gaze with tear filled eyes that almost kill me.

"What! What do you want from me?" She wails. And the first thing oddly enough that pops in my head is 'you' I want you Remy. But I come up with a more logical answer.

"Just listen to me let me try to explain. I only did this because I knew that if I didn't Ben would do something worse to get to you and I didn't want that to happen. So that's why I tried setting this up. I mean what did he do that was so bad anyway?" I ask panting.

"He tried to rape me Landen" Involuntarily my hands clenched into fists.

"And then he left… just disappeared leaving me all alone with a drunken father who has also tried to rape me multiple times. Ben was my one certainty for protection and he failed miserably. He was trying to live up to his big man. So now you tell me Landen…would you forgive him?"

No I'd kill him.

She walks off wiping tears off her face. I wish so much that I wasn't falling for her because it hurts that much worse knowing she hates me.

"Classic." I mutter slamming my car door shut.

"What a dick!" Hayley yells again. "How could he do that? I'm gonna kill him I swear!"

"God and what's worse about all of this Hal is that I still like him a lot!"

"Ugh how much is a lot?" She asks hoping for the answer I'm not going to give her.

"Do you want the truth?" I ask my face slightly in a frown.

"Well there's my answer." She mutters almost incoherently.

"So what are you gonna do Rem?"

Well Hayley what a good question.

"I don't know Hayley. I don't know."

It was 3 weeks later and I am headed to the place I don't want to go.

Driving in a car with Hayley is like getting hit with a sludge hammer a hundred times. She is a horrible back seat driver.

"Why don't you go a little slower molasses?" Hayley says, annoying me that much more.

"Shut up Hal I am going 55 which is the speed limit. Just because I am not some street racer like you doesn't mean you can rag on my legal driving. Comprende?"

"I'm sorry I am in a bad mood. I just don't understand why you are coming back here. I mean you can stay with me and Rick as long as you want Rem you're family."

"Yeah I know its just schools starting up and I have to be here; keep things steady that's all." Hayley rolls her eyes.

"Fine but If he touches you…once I mean ONCE you call me and get out. Comprende?"

"Ha very funny." I say back.

I pull into my driveway and immediately my stomach flip flops in my chest.

Every memory of him floods back into my brain like a vast waterfall. I clear my throat and turn off the ignition.

"You okay Rem? You sure you want to do this?"

"Positive." The doubt is clearly in every move I make.

"Sure." Hayley says not buying it.

I pop the trunk and grab my bag. It takes more strength then I thought it would to make myself go the whole 15 steps to the front door.

Self confidence. I think to myself. Then the debate between my subconscious and reality starts.

S. Self confidence Remy. Everything is gonna be all right.

R. Yeah right and I'm a prima ballerina.

S. No, maybe my being gone for a while gave him a wake up call.

R. Sure and maybe the past 2 year's have been a dream and your mom never really died.

Okay battle over.

Reality won.

I do a double take of my surroundings, my dad's car is parked in the drive way…but so was another car that I didn't realize was there earlier.

It was a silver Mercedes just like the one Landen had picked me up in before.

"No." I whisper doubtfully. So I go closer to the car, looking for a St. Christopher necklace hanging on the rear view mirror. The windows are tinted, so I press my face against the window cupping my hands around my eyes. And there it hangs, shimmering in the sunlight.

"Intrigued?"

I scream jumping away from the car. I loose my footing, and fall right on my butt with a loud 'umph'.

Landen reaches forward, gesturing for me to take his hand.

"Thanks but no thanks." I say denying his offer. I use my hands to push myself off the ground.

"Please talk to me. At least say something!" He runs his hands through his hair.

"Conniving prick work for you?" I say, proud of myself for making this hard on him.

"Okay I deserved that to. But aren't you the least bit concerned on why I'm here?"

Then it hits me. Yes I am very concerned.

"No." I lie. "Not at all."

I brush past him, inhaling his scent, he smells woodsy with a tint of Axe and then his own scent.

"You're a rotten liar Remy." Landen presses on, jogging up to me.

"Fine I'll bite. Why are you here?" I ask almost frothing from the mouth.

"I was here because I had to see you."

I take a large gulp.

"I can't sleep, I can't eat. All I can think about is you."

I can hear my heart beat in my ears.

Thump thump thump.

"Please I can't stand the thought of you hating me." I clear my throat as my stomach flips.

"What do you want from me Landen? My forgiveness, my pity?"

"Well yes to the fist one, but mostly a second chance. Go out with me tonight."

I let out a groan. He is gonna win, he is winning me over.

"You are so lucky I am such a forgiving person." I finally cave.

Landen claps his hands together in joy.

"Thank you I will make this up to you I swear."

"You better."

Landen does a little happy dance to his car; I can't help but laugh at him.

________________________________________________________________________Landen leaves, leaving me happy. I forgot completely about what awaited me inside.

I open the front door and rush upstairs as quickly as I can and lock my door.

Usually 2 minutes after I get home Jake would be right in my face yelling about some kind of stupid shit from, "You are wasting my money by using too much toilet paper" to "Make me something to eat since that's all your good for."

But 5 minutes later and silence.

Landen texts me and hour later.

L. "Hey is everything okay over there?"

I smile as I read his text of concern.

I send back,

R. Surprisingly yes. No flying fists yet. =]

L. That's so not funny.

I wish I was trying to be funny.

R. Wasn't meant to be. That's a common issue here Landen.

L. Not anymore.

I don't text right back like I did before. What does he mean by…not anymore?

R. Sure. But anyway what are we doing tonight. No movies!

L. Yeah, as much fun as we had last time, I have something else in mind.

R. Oh and what's that?

I wait for a minute in anticipation.

L. It's a surprise. Just wear something hot. =P

R. Pig.

L. Don't be intimidated…I'm just a man.

Laughing out loud I send him a message back.

R. Please you couldn't intimidate me with both hand and an instruction sheet.

L. Ouch. Anyway like I said wear something hot. I want every guy in that club to be drooling over how beautiful you are.

R. Beautiful please.

L. Your absolutely right. Beautiful doesn't begin to describe it. Breathtaking, makes my heart skip two beats every time I see her, is more like it. I will pick you up at 8:30.

p.s Invite Hayley and Rick if you want to. More the merrier.

End of text messages.

I call up Hayley and tell them to meet at my house at 8:30 to hang out with me and Landen.

She throws a hissy fit about me going out with him at first…but then says I made the right choice to not hold a grudge.

Sometimes that woman.

Looking through my closet, I finally talk myself into wearing the dress Hayley bought me for my 16th birthday. She said,

"Hun look at it! It will make all the boys drool over you. I would wear it myself if I had your legs."

So I put it on. It is a white halter bubble dress that stops on my upper thigh (just below my butt). But I have to admit…I do look hot.

My long black hair rests in waves against my bare back. The dress accentuates my curves and butt. Plus the tan I developed over the summer makes the dress look even better. If this dress doesn't make me look hot…I don't know what will.

When all is said and done it is 8:25 and I am getting antsy.

Walking down the stairs quietly as possible; I head for the door hoping to escape before Jake sees me.

A knock on the door makes me jump ten feet in the air.

I fling the door open and oh my dear sweet lord. I think my heart literally stops beating completely.

He is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. He is only 21 and I am sure he is going to be 50 and still smoking hot. I forgot how tall he really was. His long dark hair was doing that adorable flip at the ends and his bangs swept to the side. He is wearing a white t-shirt that hugs at his abs and ripped blue jeans. If anyone can make something so basic look so incredibly hot it is Landen Davis.

"My god woman. Are you trying to kill me?" Landen says eyeing me up and down.

"So…it's good. You tolled me to wear something hot and this is what I picked but I could go change if-."

"Its perfect I'm trying hard not to drool."

I laugh at his remark, glad that this evening is going better than expected.

"Who the hell is at the door?" Jake's screaming voice echoes through the house. I can smell Whiskey in the air.

"Nobody Jake." I motion Landen out the door and watch him head to the car.

"Remy what are you doing?" Landen asks turning back towards the house waiting for me.

"Nothing just hold on." I say as he gets in the car.

"And what the hell do you think you're wearing?"

I turn to confront Jake.

"A dress now I am leaving. Goodnight Jake."

"The hell you are." Jake's words slur from the 7 or 8 beers I'm guessing he's had. Jake grabs my arm pulling me back into the house.

I hear a car door slam and running footsteps.

Jake's grip on my arm tightens making me wince.

"Get the hell off her." Landen shoves Jake so hard that he falls backwards.

"Hurry lets go." I say tugging at his arm trying to get him to leave. "Don't make a scene."

"Don't you walk out that door REMY!" Jake yells.

Two words come to mind…

"Watch me." And I slam the door shut.

________________________________________________________________________

"That…that stupid, despicable..."

I wait while Landen tries to find the correct word.

"ASS HAT!" I slowly turn my head toward Landen in an obvious dramatic sort of way.

"Did you just say…ass hat?" I start laughing, but then I can't stop.

"This is so not funny." Landen says trying to hide the smirk on his face but fails.

"Woo," I wipe a tear from my eye. I laughed so hard I cried. "Oh it really was." Landen looks at me and gives a warm smile.

"What was that for?" I ask curious.

"I just have never heard you laugh like that." Landen says.

But the thing was I have before...just not in almost 2 years.

"Yeah well I have a feeling that's all going to change very soon." I say looking at Landen with as much passion as I have within me.

Suddenly I feel his fingers weave through mine…and just like that we're holding hands.

With the unfortunate scene that took place at the house, I had to tell Hayley and Rick to me us at the club downtown called "The Wigwam." I had seen the place a couple times before but have never been in due to the 18 and older thing.

"Okay have I failed to mention I'm only 17? You may be 21 but you aint smart enough to get me in here Landen."
"Well I am smart enough to tell you that you need to take some proper English classes." Landen says.

"Hey school starts tomorrow so I'll jump right on that. But still how am I getting in?"

"Well it so happens that my uncle owns this club and I can get you in piece of cake."

"Hey girl," Hayley runs up and hugs me then turns. "Landen." She finishes very blasé.

"Ah nice to see you to Hayley." He says utterly sarcastic.

"Hey Rem." Rick comes up and hugs me.

"Hey Rick." I hug him back feeling like a mouse hugging a bear.

"Anyway girl how are you gonna get in to this place?" Hayley asks pointing out the obvious.

"Well it turns out the Landen's uncle owns the club so I get a free ride in."

"Very cool. So what are we waiting for lets go."

We walk into the club and I am immediately drawn to the old fashioned theme.

It isn't one of those prissy 'you have to be hot stuff to get in' types of club. It's the everybody knows everybody type of club.

Everything is wooden. Wooden tables, wooden bar stools and they even have an old fashioned jukebox.

"Do you like it?" Landen asks breaking my silence.

"Yeah I love it."

10 minutes after we get there Hayley and Rick have scarfed down 3 beers each while I am still working on my 2nd.

Beer is absolutely disgusting... but I don't want Landen thinking I am some prissy girl who only drinks martinis. So I find a way to cope. I take a gulp, not letting it touch my tongue to avoid the horrid taste. But I have to admit after every drink I love the way it burns down my throat not in a painful way more of a tingly sensation.

"Wow I didn't picture you as the type of girl who liked beer." Landen shouts over the music.

"Well there's a classic stereo type." I say taking another swig.

"I hate beer it makes me want to gag." Landen says back.
Great. I just drank an entire bottle of ranky beer for nothing.

"Good!" I say slamming my beer on the counter. "Cause that shit is disgusting."

"Remy did you drink that beer to impress me?" Landen asks.

Oops I probably shouldn't have mentioned that.

"Yep." I think I can't hold my liqueur very well because I feel tingly all over like I have to do something…anything.

"Landen I think its time for you to dance."
Landens eyes grow about two sizes bigger.

"I…I don't dance." He says.

"Well, I can always make you dance." I say hooking my fingers through his pant loops.

If I thought his eyes bugged out the first time I was sadly mistaken. Landen clears his throat.

"What do you mean…?" He asks flustered.

"How about I show you." I unhook my fingers, go over to the jukebox and press F6.

Landens POV.

Remy unhooks her fingers from my pants. Oh dear god help me have self control!

She very sexily walks over to the jukebox and presses some number. Then…she starts dancing…like I said dear god help me.

The song I picked was 'I fell in love with the D.J by Chennelle.'

It's the perfect song to drive a guy crazy it's a total legs, and butt song.

I dance my way back over to Landen and drag him to the dance floor.

"When did you learn to dance like thaaaat?" Landen stutters. I had dropped low and grinded him as I came back up.

"I fell in love with the D.J…D.J" Fills the club in the back round.

"Takes talent." I say smiling as he twirls me around. I don't think he knows exactly where to place his hands so I do it for him putting them right on my lower back.

"Better?" I ask laughingly.

"Much." He says, out of breath.

We danced a lot after that and I am having a great time. We need to cool off so we go to the bar to get a drink.

"Well look what the cat dragged in. Looks like a knock off to replace what a real woman looks like." She says sneering.

I turn around not recognizing who the girl is…but Landen does. He takes a really large gulp of his drink and turns around.

She is pretty. Blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs…a total whore. Her ass is practically hanging out of her skirt.

"Excuse me?" I ask getting into total bitch mode.

"Oh someone has a slight lisssp." She says.

Oh my god I am gonna kick this bitch from here to next Tuesday.

"No I don't. But your gonna have one when I knock those two front teeth right down your throat." I say stepping forward ready to kick her ass.

Landen puts an arm in front of me putting me to a stop.

"Caitlynd what do you want?" She gives me a solid 10 second glare before answering.

"I'm here with my boyfriend. But I just wanted to see who the sloppy seconds were."

"Bitch you are just asking for it." Hayley says it before I did.

"Well when I want your damn opinion I'll ask for it so go find that so called boyfriend of yours and back off." Landen puts his arm around me.

"Oh I don't have to," The slut bag says. "He's right here."

I feel like I'm going to retch.

"Well Landen, it's nice to see you again. The last time I saw you…what were you doing oh that's right trying to help me with me sister. But instead you turned your back on me to get into her pants. How sweet of you."

Landens whole body stiffens. I lace my fingers through his for comfort on both of our parts.

"Ah how sweet." Ben seethes.

"Ben, please go I don't want any trouble." I say nonchalantly.

"Oh no worries baby sister. Neither do I."

I grind my teeth together to keep from saying anything to provoke him.

"I just wanted to talk to Landen." He finishes.

"Well talk then get the hell out." I say firmly.

"Okay then Landen I just want to give you a little tip. Get in, get off, get out. That's all she's good for no need to stick around. She's not worth it."

Landen lifts his chin and laughs.

"Do you know what I looove about you Ben?"

Before Ben can answer Landen rips his hand from mine and punches Ben square in the face; making the most awful yet satisfying crunch I have ever heard.

"Nothing." Landen finishes coolly.

Ben outweighs Landed by a good 60 pounds but then again Landen is pissed the hell off.

"Who the hell do you think you are pretty boy?" Ben wipes the blood from his nose off with his hand.

"He's twice the man you'll ever be." I say as Landen puts his arm back around me.

"I don't think I heard you just right. Say that again you little-,"

Ben doesn't get time to finish before Rick steps in front off him making him shut up in a second flat.

Everybody knows better then to mess with Rick.

I grab my purse of the stool and start walking out with Landen.

"That's right run away you little bitch. Don't worry I'll find you. You can bet on that and dad will be with me."

As much I try to hold them back, the slightest tear rolls down my cheek.

"Thank you for standing up for me Landen it meant a lot."

"Don't even say that you have nothing to thank me for. That was something I should've done a long time ago." Landen says.

"Well anyway, I'm glad you did." I say, as Landen's hand finds mine.

"Me to."

15 minutes later he is walking me to my front door.

"Well I'm not sure what to say here so I'll just go with the classic. I had a really good time tonight despite the whole Ben thing; I had a lot of fun."

"Me to." He has a beautiful smile…which I notice even more as he leans towards me.

Oh my god he is going to kiss me. Please kiss me. I really want you to kiss me.

But instead he leans past me and opens the front door.

"Have a great night." He says as he walks away.

I wait until he drives off to swear under my breath.

"Oh my god I am such an idiot. Why would he ever want to kiss me anyway? Stupid stupid! I could've sworn he was going to kiss me."

I walk into the house still re-thinking the last minute. Thankfully my dad is passed out on the couch drooling all over himself.

Walking up the stairs quietly I get ready for bed. I have a long day tomorrow. Going out was probably a stupid idea but hey what ever.

Quickly I brush my teeth, brush my hair, get into my favorite pair of flannel pajamas and hit the sack.

I am going to need all the sleep I could get to start my senior year at South Albany.

Saving money all summer has allowed me to by my own school supplies and clothes; god knows Jake won't give me a dime.

I'm not really in the mood to get all dolled up for the same kids I have gone to school with the past 4 years…but I don't want to look like a hobo either. So I wake up early to straighten my hair, and do my make up.

"Okay…nothing to drastic."

My face has always been clear so there is no need for foundation. So I just use the basic eye liner, mascara, and some lip gloss.

I put on a pair of grey skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt that hugs at my curves, a pair of converse… I'm set.

Being a senior has its perks like designated parking spots. No more parking a mile away from school.

I walk through the schools large wooden doors and head to the cafeteria where we sat every year for 3 years. 'We' as in Hayley me and our so called group of friends. At my school there are two types of popular. The slutty popular, and the everybody knows you and likes you popular, which is where our group stands.

I just walk through the cafeteria (aka Dining Hall) when I see Hayley waving at me from our table.

I smile at her and head over just to be stopped by a large arm in front of me.

I push his arm out of my way and keep walking.

"Oh come on Remy don't be like that."

I whirl around to face Heath my Ex-boyfriend. I don't know where I went wrong with him.

Wait let me think about that… oh actually I do. I think it's the fact that he is the star Quarterback for our football team and a total player.

"And how would that be Heath?" I ask sarcastically. I haven't seen him since the beginning of the summer when I caught him making out with Monica Dresden at the bonfire. She's the definition of Slutty Popular.

"Hostile." Heath says matter of fact.

"Wow Heath that was a big word for you."

He flushes a bright red.

"Come on what ever happened to forgiveness?" Heath asks blinking his big blue eyes at me.

"It's dead along with shivery and fidelity."

"Come on baby you know I love you."

I almost gag.

"Did I just lose a brain cell? You cheated on me with the largest hoe in school. You might as well have picked up a damn hooker on the side of the road Heath. But then again I'm sure you have!"

I realize when every kid in the cafeteria heads turn in my direction, that maybe I have been a tad bit to loud.

Monica Dresden's head is low.

"Shhh! damn Remy keep your voice down."
"Heath I am done repeating myself." I say for the last time I hope.

"Come on it can't be over between us." Heath begs.

"Your right it can't Heath. Because something can't be over when it never started."

I walk away with my head high, knowing I just put him in his place.

"Oh my god girl you totally just told him out." Maggie Smith says running up to me for a hug.

I know at this point the next 15 minutes are going to be spent reminiscing and talking about what happened with Heath even though they all already know.

"So how was your summer?" I ask trying to turn the subject onto someone else. I am glad to hear the sounds of a bunch of teenage girls voices surround me.

And I am really glad I don't have to explain Landen…which would be difficult since I don't even knew where we stand myself. Since what happened last night…more like what didn't happen.

The rest of the school day is a drag. Heath doesn't bug me for the rest of the day which is a good thing but I am just about ready to strangle every freshman I come to.

I mean my god was I that annoying when I was a freshman?

Hayley and I go off campus for lunch to get away from all the talk.

We don't go anywhere fancy just the local Taco Bell.

"I don't know why he didn't kiss you." Hayley says taking another large bite of her bean burrito. "You are hot shit."

I snort iced tea.

"Please Hayley you give me way to much credit." I say back.

"No I don't. You didn't see the way he looked at you girl."

The thought of Landen makes me smile despite my best effort. I don't want to come across as a teeny bopper in love with a guy she has barley dated.

"I don't know Hal but it really looked like he was going to kiss me. But whatever."

After we finish we head back to finish the last couple hours of school.

The last of my classes are easy creative writing, and French.

Creative Writing is my favorite class of all. I have always had a passion for writing whether it's a story, poem, or article for the school news paper. It's the only good trait I have of my fathers. When he went to OSU he always did reports mostly about sports which he loved.

Our teacher is Mrs. Whitaker a very energetic 30 year old woman from Dallas Texas. She has the strongest southern accent I have ever heard…but I love her. She has taught me more things about writing then anyone ever will.

Our first task is to write something we did over the summer…very juvenile but a classic. So I write down how I went apartment searching and finally found one which I would be moving into in a very short 2 weeks.

I think I'll leave out the cheating ex-boyfriend, the abusive father, plus the new 21year old who I went on a date with and now have no clue where we stand.

At the end of class I rush to my locker grab my stuff and head outside to meet Hayley since I am taking her home.

I stand out front for 5 minutes but still don't see her. So I walk around to where my car is parked…still no Hayley.

I turn back around just to bump into Landen.

"What are you doing here?" I ask picking up my purse I dropped.

He opens his mouth to speak just as Hayley runs up.

"Oh sorry am I interrupting something?" She asks with a smirk.

"Actually I was wondering if I could see you for a second…alone." Landen says to me. The word alone sends a shiver from my head to my toes.

"Yeah." My voice raises an octave. "Of course."

I follow Landen away from Hayley to the back of the school.

"So what did you need to talk about?" I ask once we are alone and out of site.

"Who said anything about talking?" Landen whispers utterly seductive.

My breath hitches in my throat, my arms go limp dropping my books on the ground.

"I…I should get those." I manage to get out, in a gasp.

"You should let me kiss you."

And before I can fathom up a response his lips brush against mine soft and tender. The books are the last thing on my mind.

We kiss softly, nice, sweet, patient even. Then the kiss becomes fierce like something just explodes inside us. My arms twine around his neck holding him close against me, while his hands rest on my lower back. I love the way his tongue moves with mine.

"Break it up."

We rip apart, so quickly it makes me dizzy. It's a good thing I am leaning against the brick wall because I will fall over.

I recognize the teacher.

Mr. Barton taught me freshman year. Global Studies & R/L.A

"Get going ."

Barton just keeps walking as if he hasn't seen a thing.

"Yeah I should-," Landen starts.

"Of course. College...got it." I finish for him.

"Well…I'll call you?" He asks just as confused as I am. Probably from the lack of air.

"Yeah." I say back.

He sends me a smile that somehow makes me feel like everything is going to be just fine between us.

I walk to the car; my fingers pressed against my lips which still feel hot from Landen's.

"Gosh did you forget I was here waiting for you?" Hayley asks as I get into the drivers seat.

"No Landen and I were just…talking." I say still thinking about him…and his lips.

"Talking my ass." Hayley says laughingly.

"We were!" I wail knowing I have already given it away.

"Sure, so how was talking?" She asks.

"Fine, use all the innuendos you want. But talking was great." I say pulling out of the parking lot.

"Oh so I was talking to Rick and we are going to throw you a kick ass 18th birthday party. Maybe you and Landen can talk some more."

I slap Hayley in the arm and laugh.

"A birthday party would be great."

"Yes! You are gonna have a blast! You won't regret this!" Hayley bounces up and down in her seat.

Ever since that day at school where Landen and I talked we try to find every possible minute to meet up and talk some more.

During my opens, breaks, lunch whenever. Behind the school, in my car, his car whatever works for us at the time.

Today it is in the back seat of his very nice Mercedes. I asked him during one of our talking sessions on how he got it.

He said his dad owns chains of car dealer ships around the country…so they aren't exactly what you'd call poor.

"I really love talking." Landen murmurs in between kisses.

"Mmm. Very self satisfying." I say, readjusting myself on the back seat to where Landen is on top of me.

"Do you know how much trouble I am going to get in if we get caught?" I ask when we break apart so we can breathe.

"Inform me." He says now kissing my neck.

I have to do a double take before I speak so I won't stutter.

"Huge." Is the only word I can get out.

"Ooo a rebel I like it."

I pull his face back down to mine and kiss him some more.

Beep beep beep.

Landen beaks off to turn off his watch. I already start re-snapping my bra.

"Time to go." I say pushing him off.

"One more minute." Landen says kissing me, knowing he will make me late. His tongue traces the shape of my lips. I hear myself release a small moan.

All coherent thoughts disappear.

"Mmm maybe two." I mumble against his lips.

"Two's a nice round number." Landen mumbles back.

"Wait! No I have to go I am gonna be late." I say pushing him off of me again.

I look in the mirror seeing if I am decent. I quickly fix my make up and get out of the car.

Landen follows, stepping out from the back seat.

Grabbing my bag I throw it over my shoulder and turn to speak to him.

"Okay before I forget my dad's annual fishing trip is tomorrow so he's leaving tonight with his friends. And I was thinking you could come over, watch some movies, talk."

Landen smiles and pulls me against him our hips pressed close together.

"How could I resist." He says leaning in to kiss me.

"Nope save it for tonight. Say around 7?"

"7 is perfect. See you then." He gets in the drivers seat and pulls out of the school parking lot.

The rest of the day flies by in a haze. All I can think about is Landen coming over…to my house…us alone.

But then I get a text from Mindy a co-worker from Pac Sun.

Hey don't forget your taking my shift tonight okay. See you at 5:30 Thanks again =]

"Shoot."

"Something you want to add ?" Mr. Lick asks. But every one calls him Mr. Dicklick due to the fact he's such an asshole.

"Oh no sorry." I didn't realize I said it out loud.

After school Rick picks Hayley up so it gives me time to go by OSU and talk to Landen since I can't get a hold of his cell phone. Plus I have to tell him about my birthday party tomorrow.

It is Friday and I'm feeling good.

Driving to OSU is only a 15 or so minute drive from Albany. So I can make it back in plenty of time for work.

I pull up to OSU and walk to the dorm already knowing which number Landen's is.

I am just about to open the door when Landen's roommate David comes out.

With a smile he says,

"He's all yours." So I smile back and walk in shutting the door behind me.

"David I thought you were leaving." Landen says walking out of the bathroom.

I am pretty sure my jaw actually drops open like an idiot when I see what Landen is wearing. He has just gotten out of the shower, his hair is dripping wet. I follow the droplets as they trail down his chest. I can't take my mind off the tiny towel that covers barley half his body.

"Remy?" Landen asks, flushing at the site of me. I snap my head back up to his face.

"Oh I… I'm sorry I just came by to um….um."

What happens after that is a blur. Before I know it I am laying flat on the bed with Landen on top of me.

My hands mold themselves onto Landen's chest.

Pressing my cheek to his I can smell his cologne. Slowly I kiss his neck working my way up to his face. I take my arms and slowly wrap them around his neck embracing him. Then without another thought I press my lips against his with more passion then I ever have.

Landen's hands drift from my back, then to my hips, then under my shirt.

His hair, it feels silky smooth as it falls through my fingers. When he kisses me everything goes into a haze except him. I love the way kissing him makes me feel, unlike any other guy I have ever kissed. Then my brain goes back into reality mode.

"Wait stop." I say trying to push him off me. This has gone too far.

"What is it?" Landen asks.

"Um this isn't what I came for."

"No?" He says in a tone so velvet, it almost makes me question my own motives.

I can taste his sweet breath on my tongue.

I take a deep breath to resist but it only makes it worse.

"No" I say. My voice firm but wavering. I pry myself out from under his chest unwillingly. I stand up shakily, feeling my legs quaver beneath me. Why does he have to be so alluring?

"Then what did you come for?" He said slipping into a pair of jeans underneath the towel.

I turned my back to him for privacy.

"I came here to tell you that I actually have to work till 7 so not to come by until like 8:30 so I can change and clean up."

"Really?" He says so smoothly I almost reconsider…again.

"And that tomorrow is my 18th birthday party and that you should come."

He smiles, his face turning serious just seconds after.

"Okay but on one condition." He says in a monotone. He crawls back on top of me.

"Oh and what's that?" I say kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Would you stop you are making me lose my train of thought." He shakes his head.

"Sorry so what's the condition?" I ask again.

"The condition is after the party I get to take you because I have a surprise for you."

"Deal." I say surprised on how quickly I agree.

"Good. I will see you at 8:30 then."

I get off the bed and walk to the door just to be yanked back into a kiss by Landen.

The room is kind of blurring. He has no idea how appealing the idea of staying here is.

It's not fair. He doesn't play fair.

"Sorry I had to do it." He says clearly reading my expression.

"Goodbye Landen." I say shutting the door behind me.

I practically run to my car. I have to go home change for work, come back change again, clean and make something for dinner.

Driving as fast as I can (just a tad bit over the speed limit) I make it to Pac Sun just in time.

"Oh thank god you here. Okay it's been pretty slow today so you'll probably just chill. Again thank you so much for this. See you later."

Mindy says as she rushes out the door.

"Okay then." I walk my way behind the counter and pull out my ipod I had once risked my life for getting.

"You will be the death of me." I say eyeing the ipod in my hand.

"Talking to inanimate objects now? That's new."

I jerk back in the chair tipping it over.

"Damn it Landen I was wrong. You'll be the death of me." I say trying to slow my heart beat that is thumping erratically.

"I'm thinking that I will keep scaring you until you pee your pants." He says with an adorable smirk.

"Well if you keep doing what you're doing I think that day will come…and soon." I say.

"Oh I almost forgot," Landen pulls my cell out of his pocket.

"You left your cell phone." He says handing it over.

"Why do I have a feeling this isn't what you came for?" I ask skeptically.

He could've just as easily dropped it off when he comes over tonight.

"Psh what! I have no idea what you're talking about." He says plastering a smile on his perfect face.

"What did you come here for?" I pry at him.

"Fine. I just didn't want to wait hours before I saw you again so I thought I'd drop of your cell phone and,"

"And what?" I add in, placing my hands in his back pockets.

He sucks in a deep breath and says, "I guess I could always show you."

"Forward. I like that."

He runs a hand through my hair, trailing down my neck.

Ding!

I push Landen away quickly and look over at the door.

You have got to be kidding me! Do I ever get a break?

I feel a wave of heat flush my face so I turn around and head behind the counter.

Noticing the quick change of pace, Landen turns to see Heath whom he still doesn't know of walking into the store.

"What?" Landen whispers attempting to sound incognito.

"Nothing. Just be nice I don't want a scene." I say to Landen who looks really confused.

"What are you talking about? And why are we whispering." He asks.

"Oh Remy I forgot you worked here." Heath says trailing over.

"I really doubt that." I say with a sheer look of annoyance on my face.

He used to pick me up here all the time when we were going out.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks stepping close to the counter which means closer to Landen who is now looking very interested in a pair of shorts.

"Never mind Heath. So can I help you with anything?"

"Yeah about that I didn't come here to buy anything. I came here to talk to you."

"Oh so you did know I worked here."

"Well yeah but,"
"Heath, please tell me this isn't another talk about you winning me back because it's not going to happen." I say whispering.

"Remy please… I want you."

Landen's head whips around so fast I think it's going to snap right off.

"Shh Heath be quiet." I say.

Landen's face is strained, his knuckles pale white from being balled in fists.

"Why?" Heath asks, looking around the room as he says this. Heath caresses my arm. I roll my shoulder, Heaths hand falls off.

"Uh hmm."

I flush embarrassed that this is happening in front of my boyfriend.

Heath looks at me, then at Landen then at me again. Taking in Landen's 'uh hmm' and glares, and my flushed face Heath puts the story together quicker then I imagined possible.

"You're cheating on me! Is he your guy?" Heath yells making me wince.

"I am not cheating on you Heath were not to-ge-ther!" Iyell back, saying the word in 3 syllables hoping he might understand better.

"Okay that's enough I think it's about time you leave." Landen said stepping up beside me.

"You say something bro? How bout you say it again." Heath says, shoving Landen making him lose his footing.

"Stop it Heath this is my job."

"Did I stutter? Bro." Landen says shoving Heath back twice as hard.

"Put your hands on me again I dare you bro." Heath spits getting too close to Landen.

"You need to get out of my face bro or I'm gonna beat the bro out of you." Landen says in a tone that scares me.

I need to stop this now.

"Heath stop I don't want you to get hurt. And Landen I don't want you to get kicked out of college for a fight. I will call security if this doesn't stop." I say stepping in between them.

"He's in college!" Heath yells shoving me out of the way to get to Landen. My back runs hard into the glass counter. And that is all it takes.

Landen grabs the front of Heaths shirt, picks him up and rams him against the wall. I hear Heaths head snap against the plaster. Landen rams Heath against the wall again and again.

Heath gets a good punch, right in Landen's jaw.

"Stop it." I yell.

Landen recovers quickly and gets Heath in the gut making him topple over.

"That's it!" I yell again trying to get their attention. But nooo they don't listen to girls.

I pick up the phone and call mall security.

"I am going to get fired for this." I mutter.

"What's going on in here?"

Thankfully Heath and Landen pull apart at the sound of the security's voice.

"Please I don't want any trouble just escort them out." I say calmly.

"Come on boy's time to go."

They take Heath and Landen by the arm and head out the door.

"I'll call you." I yell to Landen who looks like he could still kick Heaths ass.

At 7pm I lock up, and head out of the mall, waving goodbye to the security guards who escorted my current and ex- boyfriend out.

Driving home from work doesn't take very long.

I pull up at the house at 7:20 ready to get my clean on. I vacuum, dust, sweep, mop, happy with the after look… it practically sparkles.

Glancing at my watch I have another 20 minutes until Landen gets here.

"Crap I'm just going to have to order in."

I take a quick five minute shower feeling my muscles unwind. Just the thought of my dad being gone makes me that much more relaxed. Add Landen to the equation and I am down right ecstatic.

I decide to just let my hair do its own thing falling into a ringlet of curls to save time. I do my make up, get dressed and am downstairs to answer the door for the pizza at 8:25pm.

"I am so good." I mutter placing the pizza on the counter.

Ding Dong.

I open the door trying; despite my best efforts not to smile.

I should be mad at him…but he is just so…there are no words.

Landen hands me a large red rose from behind his back.

"You look beautiful." He says leaning for a kiss.

"You don't look so good yourself." I say frowning at his black eye and split cheek.

"Yeah about that I am really sorry its just he put his hands on you-,"

"Let's not talk about that. Let's do something more… productive." I say pulling him inside.

"What do you have in mind ?" Landen asks kicking the door shut behind him.

"Many things." I whisper in his ear.

He picks me up by the waist, making me twine my legs around his hips.

Kissing Landen isn't like kissing Heath.

Heath was always rushing and forceful which was always a turn off. He had no idea what he was doing.

Kissing Landen is a variety of things, like every time we kissed I feel something jolt threw me, making him even more desirable. Kissing Landen never gets old I can do it forever and still be thinking 'what's he going to do next.'

"You know the whole battle wound thing is really turning me on." I say throwing his shirt on the floor.

"Well then in that case I'll make getting punched in the face a daily routine."

He doesn't give me time to retort.

In my mind I already sort of have a routine with Landen. We make out (a lot), and when it starts to get pretty hot and heavy (which doesn't take long) he pulls away making me feel slightly depressed as does he.

Then it will lead into the conversation about how I think I can control myself, and I won't let it go that far. Then he will say 'It's not you I'm worried about'. And by then I already know the conversation is over.

I feel the kiss coming to an end, so I pull Landen closer against me and wrap my legs around him hugging him tight.

"Nice try Remy." Landen says sitting up.

"Ugh! I had to try." I button up my shirt as Landen walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Why didn't you tell me you got pizza? Now it's all cold." Landen hollers from in the kitchen.

I wait till he turns the facet off to answer.

"I was a little occupied at the moment." I smile as I say this, remembering.

Landen pops his head around the corner and smiles.

"So, what movie do you want to watch?"
I point my thumb to the bookshelf where all the movies are.

"What are you in the mood for?" Landen asks me.

"Hmm romance, maybe even a little drama."
He'll loove that.

"My thoughts exactly." Landen says popping a movie in.

I smile inwardly. He is so sweet, willing to sit through 2 hours of mushy lovey dovey stuff just for me.

He walks over and sits on the couch beside me.

I am watching the commercials when I have this eerie feeling that he is staring at me.

I peek through my hair to see Landen staring right at me.

"What!" I finally snap.

"Nothing sorry you're just…mesmerizing."

I feel my whole body raise 10 degrees in temperature.

I wonder if he notices.

I know that he can tell that I 'm blushing when he takes his cold hand and presses it against my cheek.

"I love that about you." He says in almost a whisper.

"Well good because if you keep saying stuff like that it's going to happen a lot."

"I look forward to it." Landen says, trailing his hand down my arm, and winds his fingers through mine.

I refocus when the movie comes on.

He picks Casablanca.

About 30 minutes into the film I am no longer thinking about the movie. I am stretched out across the couch with my head in Landen's lap. The way he runs his fingers through my hair reminds me of my mother.
I swallow the lump that starts to form in my throat.

"Are you okay?" Landen's hand freezes in my hair.

"Yeah I was just thinking. I mean I didn't know you like classic movies."
"Well despite the load of crap you just fed me, I don't like classic movies but you do so Casablanca it is." He says running his fingers through my hair again. I wait for him to bring up the fact that I lied to him but he doesn't. I wait for awhile then say,

"Thank you."

"For what?" Landen says looking down on me.

"For not prying."

"Well," He starts running his fingers through my hair again. "If you want to tell me…you will." He finishes.

"If you don't like classic movies why would you watch this…I mean we could have made a compromise." I say in a wondering tone.

"Well I knew you liked it for one, and I sort of assumed we wouldn't be watching it for very long."

I think about his words, and then finally understand what he means.
"Oh," I sit up and look him in the face.

"I like that idea better."

A smile explodes across Landen's face.

"Me to." He says.

I lean in and kiss him feeling better already. I am no longer thinking about my mother which is good. Because thinking about her will lead into thinking about my dad which will turn into me thinking about my brother which will kill the mood completely.

Landen pulls away and cups my cheek in his hand.

"You sure you're okay?" He asks for the final time.

"I am now."

A sort of sad smile creeps across his face but is gone shortly after his lips meet mine.

15 minutes later it is 10:00 and Landen has to leave.

I walk him to his car then he stops.

"Try to sleep good okay. Tomorrows your big day." Landen says.

"I will." I reply.

"I just…I worry about you sometimes." Landen says kissing my hand.

"Well don't. I'll be fine I'm a big girl."

"Obviously." Landen says, referring to earlier tonight.

I blush again. I bend my head down to let my hair fall over my face.

Landen pulls my chin up, and tucks my hair behind my ear.

"Gotta love it." Landen says before kissing me goodbye.

I wave goodbye as he rounds the corner and is out of sight.

I have a very strong feeling I won't be getting to sleep anytime soon. I have a lot to worry about before my dad comes home.

Plus I have to ponder about what Hayley has planned for me as well as Landen.

I know the only way I am going to get to sleep is with a long hot shower and a sleeping pill (thanks dad.)
I lay in my bed feeling the pill work its way through my system slowly making me fall deeper into unconsciousness.

Tonight is the first night I dream of Landen Davis.

***

"Shh hummingbird, it's only me."

The sound of that name almost causes a relapse. How can he call me that? How dare he ever call me that? I grip the scissors behind my back harder until my knuckles cramp. But I know if I let go…it will be over…I will be dead.

"Don't ever call me that! The only person who ever called me that was my mother don't you ever say that to me again or I'll kill you."

I am shocked at the truth behind my own words. I know deep in the pit of my stomach that if that word comes out of his mouth again, I will kill him in a second flat.

"Really, you think you could kill me. You don't have the guts to kill me. You are weak; you have always been weak and always will be."

Somehow the words strike deeper then I thought they would. My palms start to sweat, the scissors slipping.
"Shut up." I whisper.

"What was that?" He says.

"Shut up." I mutter a little louder.

"I can't hear you say it again!" He practically roars.

"Shut up!" I wail tears of anger, and pure agony spew down my cheeks.

The blow of his hand against my face feels as if I have been stabbed with a thousand nails at once.

I hit the floor, cracking my head against the windowsill.

My head spins, I try to blink away the swarming stars.

I let out a small moan; touch the back of my head to feel blood seep through my fingers.

I brace my hand on the windowsill to help push myself up. It isn't rocket science. If you stay down you'll never get back up. It's common sense.

"Do you know why you were always so weak Remy? Because you always second guess. Then it's too late."

I realize he is right then, and I am done second guessing. I am done worrying about the side effects of my words, of my every move.

My legs sway beneath me, my arms giving out. With one eye swollen shut, and the other filled with tears; it makes it hard to see.

Hoping this isn't happening I blink trying to wake up from this dream. But it isn't a dream and I know his face when I see it. I blink once, releasing the water build up in my eye and look Landen straight in the eyes.

Shooting straight up like a bottle rocket, I release a gasp.

I glance around my room in panic, looking for any danger.

Realizing it was a dream; I throw my covers to the side and swing my feet over the edge of the bed.

My shirt and hair cling against my skin like super glue from the sweat.

"Calm down it was just a dream." I say with my face in my hands.

But deep inside my bones, I know it was more than just a dream, whether it was a subconscious warning, or a vision I don't know. Maybe it was really a dream and I am just psyching myself out. But despite everything I still can't shake the feeling.

I walk to my bedroom door and unlock it. Knowing myself all too well I know it will take a good two minutes of self persistence to make myself open the door.

You know in scary movies when the victim opens the shower curtain or looks out the window for the killer and they never see their face?

Well for me hypothetically the killers face is always on the other side of the shower curtain or window.

"Just open the damn door."
I slowly open my door and,

"Ah!" I scream.

"Damn it Gary!" I snarl at my cat.

"You scared the be-Jesus out of me. Good god!" I say fanning myself.

I walk out of my bedroom and into the bathroom for a long 30 minute shower.

After I get ready I go downstairs to see there is 3 new voicemails.

You have 3 unheard messages. The machine says, and then plays the first message.

"It's me calling to make you haven't trashed the house yet. I'm not coming home until Sunday so don't do anything stupid and-"

I delete the message before Jake can finish. He is already wasted, I can tell by how his words slur together.

The next one is from Hayley giving me the time, and place of my party.

"Next." I say deleting that message as well.

"Good morning beautiful, how'd you sleep? Good I hope. I didn't sleep so well myself; I just couldn't keep your face out of my mind. But besides that I was calling to see when your birthday party was tonight aaand to confirm my plans after your party. I have something really special for you. I hope you like it. Well I got to run, but call me back on my cell phone. I'm looking forward to hearing your voice."


Landen's good morning message makes me smile from the inside out. But also slightly nauseous. What is he planning?

I open the kitchen cupboard, pull a bagel to eat for breakfast and open the daily news paper I had retrieved from our front porch.

Nothing much is happening in little old Albany OR, so I just skip to the weather section.

I wait till I finish my breakfast to call Landen back.

"Hey!"
Landen's hello is filled with excitement.

"Hi, I was just returning your call and I wanted to say that what you said was very sweet."

Landen releases what seems like a held breath.

"Good, you deserve to be called beautiful every day."
I snort then flush a bright red glad that he can't see me.

"Don't think just because I'm not there doesn't mean I can't tell your blushing. I wish I was there to see it."

How in the hell?

"Well then come over, and I will be sure to blush excessively." I push myself up onto the counter top.
Landen lets out a sigh.

"As amazing as that sounds I cant. I have to work till 5:30 today; I had to make up for a friends shift at Costco. Then the rest of the day is entirely dedicated to you."

"What are youplanning Landen?"

I ask knowing that I'll just get turned down.

"Like I'd tell you. And people say there is no such thing as a stupid question."

"A girl has to try."

I can almost see him smile.

"So where is this extravaganza going to take place?" Landen asks.

"At Rick's parents place. They are loaded and away for the weekend so Rick insisted that we throw the bash there. The address is 1805 on Turner Rd. The party starts at 7pm."

"Oh I know where that is. A bud of mine used to live down there. So you don't have to worry about me getting lost."
I smile this time.

"I'm glad because the party would be a bust."

"Aw thank you. I have to go now but I will see you at 7."

"Bye Landen."
I say sad that our call is coming to an end.
"Bye Rem."
I hang up.

"Phew."

I feel tired already, somewhere deep down I know Hayley is going to throw one hell of a

party.

I walk over to the living room and slump down onto the couch.

"What to do what to do?"
Being the lame teenager that I am I turn on the TV and watch the O.C reruns for 4 hours. Once that crazy adventure is over I resort to exercising.

Running for me is always a good way to keep yourself occupied. Because instead of thinking about how bored you are, all you can think about in the scorching pain that is erupting in your thighs, calves, and lungs.

Glancing at my surroundings I take in many things at once, as if everything was in slow motion. The weather is nicer today, not so hot but just warm. Kids are playing jump rope outside, running around playing tag. They look so happy, like nothing in the world could faze them. I wish I had that.

"Remy, get out of the road! Have you lost your mind?" The sound of my mother's voice stole my attention.

"Mommy I had to get the shinny thing!" My tiny hand reached out and placed the necklace in my mom's hand.

My mom held it up high, and we both gazed at it watching it flicker in the light.

"Do you know what type of bird this is Remy?"

I shook my head, my black curls bouncing on my shoulders.

"No mommy what what!"
I bounced up and down with joy.

"Well it's a hummingbird and from now on," she took the necklace and put it around her neck.

"You'll always be my little hummingbird."

"Yay!" I shouted jumping into my moms arms.

"And as long as I wear this…we'll always be together."

WAM!

Ramming my head against the light post is an unfortunate way back into reality.

My hands clutch my head to keep my brain from splattering across the sidewalk.

"Ow." I moan in pain.

"Hey miss are you all right?"

A man lends out his hand, I take it feeling dizzy.

"The names Remy right?" He asks. I now recognize him. He lives 4 houses down from us.

"I think so. I can't remember now." I say sarcastically.

He laughs.

"Do you need help getting back to your house?"

"Oh no I'm fine just a little bump on the head."
"Are you sure? That was quite a doozy." He says eyeing me skeptically.

"Absolutely. Thanks for helping me though." I wave once then head back to my house.

My head shouldn't have a heart beat.

Once I am in the house I very slowly slouch my way over to the freezer grab a very large ice pack, pop two ibuprofen and lay down on the couch.

"God I am such an idiot."

I know better than to think about her, but sometimes I just can't help it and when that happens something always goes wrong.

The counselor I had been seeing secretly behind my dads back always said that in order to move on I needed to embrace my mother, to feel fulfilled inside. In order to become the person I was meant to become I needed to do what needed to be done whether it hurt or not.

Then I called her out on her psychobabble bullshit and didn't come back.

I went through a total of 4 different counselors; therapists call them what ever you want. But I always found a reason to leave. Counselor number one was the psychobabbler. Number two was… what did I call her, oh yeah narcissistic, number three had no idea what she was talking about, and number 4 well I just didn't like the way his couch felt. That's when I stopped going to counseling because I didn't need it, I could do it on my own.

I wonder how I would have turned out if I had Landen had been there when my mom died.

Just his name changes my whole train of though.

Landen, Landen, Landen.

And before I knew it I can't wait to see him, to feel his arms around me, his lips on mine. I can't wait to hear his voice, hear him say my name. I can't wait to smell him, his scent giving me a sense of serenity.

Then it hits me, I feel like a mother who just heard her child speak their first words.

I know…from the top of my head to the soles of my feet,

I am in love with Landen Davis and there is no going back now.

"God, please don't hurt me." I whisper to myself.

The phone ringing stops my train of thought.

My head still throbbing, I decide to let the machine get it.

"Remy, I'm on my way right now to get you hot and ready for your party so don't even think about running away. Stay put! See you in a few. Too delete this message press 1…"

"Hayley!" I groan.

Knowing she'd be here in a few minutes I get up and take a quick shower so I don't smell like sweat.

I dry off as quickly as I could and just through on my bathrobe over my bra and underwear since Hayley is going to make me change into a thousand different things.

"Hurry! Open up we don't have all day Remy!"

Reluctantly I walk over to the door and open it.

Hayley looks stunning. She is wearing a red halter top dress that has a low cut v showing off most of her back. Her red hair is pulled up in a messy bun that matches well with the dress.

She gasps and points to my head. For a second I am confused on what she is pointing at, and then I remember.

"Thank you Mrs. Subtle!" I say shielding my goose egg from her.

"It's fine we'll just ice it and cover the bruise with make up." She charges for the stairs then freezes.

"Wait a second. Exactly how did you get that lump on your head?"

Hayley asks doing a 360 of the house.

"Don't worry Hayley he's not here. I just ran into a pole when I was running. No big."

I say walking past her and up the stairs.

"No big! It's taking up half your face!" Hayley wails.

"Hayley calm down we will ice it and cover it up with makeup,"

"Gently." I add soon after.

"How can you just run into a pole?"

"Takes talent." I muse with a smile.

"What ever, just go sit down and let me do my magic."

Hayley gets to work quickly. She manages to rip out half my head of hair putting it into different styles, and then decides it looks best naturally.

And I quote,

"You just have such beautiful wavy hair to mess with."

I want to punch something.

Getting dressed isn't nearly as bad. Hayley has already bought me a dress for my birthday to wear.

The dress is black, which is good. Black is slimming.

"Wow Hayley this is amazing." I say holding up the dress against my body.

"I know right? Don't you just love the lace?" Hayley asks, helping me slip it on.

And I do, it is my favorite part. The entire torso of the dress is lace weaving into beautiful designs. The lace ties in cris-crosses on the back.

"Suck in." Hayley says, trying to tie the rest of the dress.

"I am since when did you think I could fit into a size 4 Hayley?" I say, sucking in more.

"Since I saw the dress and said you had to have it. There!" Hayley lets out in a gasp.

"Prefect fit."

I gaze at myself in the mirror; once it was actually tied it does look like a perfect fit.
"Landen is going to die when he sees me in this." I say looking over my shoulder to eye the back of the dress.

"No, he's going to die when he takes it off."

"Hayley!" I am shocked by her forwardness.

"What? Oh please he is so going to get some tonight."

"I am glad you think so little of me." I say glaring at her.

"Don't do that, you'll give yourself wrinkles."

"Hey what time is it?" I ask changing the subject.

"6:30. so if we leave now we can get there early so you can see the decorations!"

We arrive to the house at 7pm leaving us plenty of time to do just that.

When we walk through the doors the first thing that pops out is,

"Holy shit."

"I know right! Isn't it huge?"

I am breathless. The house is even bigger on the inside then the outside.

In the doorway is a huge glass shandiler that must be worth thousands. Even looking at it makes me nervous.

"This house must have at least 10 bedrooms." I whisper to Hayley.

"11." She corrects.

"This is insane." I say to myself.

"Here follow me I want to show you the back yard where the actually party is."

It takes a whole minute to get from the entrance to outside.

Bright white lights lits the entire back yard, weaving around trees, and the gazebo. The pool defiantly catches my attention. Not only is there a pool, there is a waterfall leading into the pool.

"I am so hitting that up." Hayley elbows me as she says this.

"Me to."
"Look they even have a hot tub."

"If I forget to tell you later, this was amazing thank you."
"Hey no problem." Hayley says pulling me into a hug.

Our hallmark moment is interrupted by Rick.

"Let's get this party starrrrted!"

"Rick, come on I tolled you to lay off the beer until the guests actually got here! You're already drunk." Hayley scolds.

"Am not." Rick says slinging an arm around her.

"Hey, is it alright if I go take a look around?" I ask.

"Go knock yourself out. Don't get lost!" Hayley yells behind me.

I head through the hallway, around the corner and up the large spiral stairs.

By the time I reach the top I am winded.

Pictures cover the walls from one end to the other, all of family and friends.

"Rich people." I shake my head at the picture of the 3 porches (I'm assuming is Rick's father) was standing in front of. He looks a lot like Rick, tall, black hair, big brown eyes. Take away Rick's goatee and you have his father.

"Hey Remy! Get your skinny but down here. Theres someone here for ya!"

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" I holler down bellow. It echoes.

"Shut up! Just get down here."

I roll my eyes and head downstairs.

Landen's POV.

"Hey Remy! Get your skinny but down here. Theres someone here for ya!"

I feel like every nerve in my body is going haywire. The anxiety I feel is endless.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!"

Just like that my stomach rolls. The sound of her voice alone makes me euphoric.

She looks like Cinderella, only better. I think of what to say, because I know her beauty will threaten to leave me speechless. Every step she takes isn't fast enough, I need her in my arms, I need her by my side.

I round the corner onto the stair case and see Landen. My breathing stops as I look at him, smiling so warmly, my eyes lock with his. I sigh at his beauty and stumble over the steps but he doesn't seem to notice. I start moving again, but I'm not really paying attention. I should be noticing Hayley's decorations or at least noticing the arriving friends but I can't tear my eyes away from his beautiful face. Nothing else matters in this moment. Nothing else exists, but me and him.

"Hi." I say as friendly as possible, to make up for the lack of words. His beauty stuns me; all my thoughts go out the nearest window.

"You look beautiful." Landen says taking my hand and kissing it.

I blush furiously.

"You look very handsome." I say back, eyeing his jeans, white dress shirt, and jacket. He looks very sharp.

"Thank you."

"But enough about me," Landen says winding his fingers in mine. "Tonight's all about you."

"I could get used to that."

"Okay come on Remy everybody's almost here and you have to be out back where the real party is." Hayley says yanking my arm, ripping my hand from Landen's.

I shoot him an apologetic look and let Hayley lead the way, wanting to keep my arm.

The party is amazing. All my friends are there, some of Rick's older friends come by to; bringing three kegs along with them…which Rick hits immediately.

The decorations are impeccable, even more so when the stars come out lighting up the sky.

"Are you having fun?"

Warm, masculine arms grab me from behind.

"Loads. Yourself?" I am glad my back is to him hiding my reddening face.

"I am enjoying myself quite incredibly. But this will be the icing on the cake."

Landen spins me around, and leads me to the dance floor.

"It's gonna be a damn good cake." I say, teasing.

"Mouth watering."

He smirks at me and without warning, places his soft eager lips against mine. He cups my cheek with one hand; his other hand placed steadily on my waist.
My hands go up on his shoulders as our kiss intensifies. Landen opens his mouth when my tongue begs for entry by running it across his lips.
He starts to make little butterfly kisses down my neck and than along my collar bone. My head leans back in pure ecstasy.
Somehow, we are by the side of the house, away from the guests.
I'm pushing up against him; and him up against the wall. His cold fingers on my waist make their way under my dress, caressing my bare skin. If feels good. I rub one of my legs in between his as our hips come in contact with each other. He moans as I start to grind my hips against his.
Landen connects his lips with mine again.
A small moan escapes my mouth quietly. I pull myself closer to him, if that was even possible at this point.

I feel Landen smile against my lips, and I know he's going to stop.

"We should probably get back to the party before anyone gets suspicious."

I nod, not able to speak just quite yet.

We quietly walk back into the party easing in so nobody notices we were gone.

"Hey Landen, let's go gab a bear."

"Okay Rick, let's go gab a bear."

Hayley and I bust up laughing as they walk off.

"So you having fun?"

"Yeah a ton. Thanks Hayley."
"Good," She says. "I wanted this to be special."
She hugs me but lets go when we hear something crash.

Hayley comes back out walking beside Landen holding a very drunk Rick.

"Hey beauiflllle." He says to Hal.
I roll my eyes to Ricks slur.

"Excuse the stutter," Landen says to me and Hayley. "We just had amazing hot sex in the bathroom, he's still in awe."

I think this is funny and laugh. But Hayley's not amused.

"Shut up Landen." Hayley says, putting one of Rick's arms around her.

"I thought it was funny." I say to Landen as Hayley and Rick walk away.

"Me to. But I guess not." Landen says, and pulls me against him.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Landen whispers in my ear.

I let out an obvious sigh.

"Yeah, most defiantly."

"Landennnn when are we going to be there!" This is the 6th time in the past 15 minutes I asked him this question.

"Okay we're here."

"Now keep you're eyes closed." He says as he steps out of the car to open my door.

"I am I am." I say and take his open hand.

"Okay you can open you're eyes now." He says. I open my eyes; my breath leaves me in a gasp.

"Happy Birthday. Do you like it? It's supposed to be romantic."

It's a big open field, covered in flowers ranging from pink to blue. The only reason I can tell this is because there's over a hundred little white candles flaming. As I focus more, I can see a table with a bottle of champagne, strawberries, and a boom box. All of this makes me want to cry, but what stops me is the queen sized mattress in the middle of the field covered in blankets and pillows.

"Oh my god Landen this is…amazing." Is all I can say.

"You like it?" He asks.

"Love it."

"Landen…do you think you're going to get lucky?" I ask, pulling him towards me.

"No…" He says his voice sincere. "Just hoping."

"Here this way." He motions me to sit on the bed as he goes to get the champagne and strawberries. He turns on the boom box; a slow tune irrupts.

He comes and lies beside me.

"I…I don't want this to be awkward for you." He says. I can feel him shaking.

"Its not." I say with a smile.

"Good." He pops the champagne.

"I have no idea why I did this," He says gesturing to the strawberries. "I just saw it on a movie and thought it sounded good."

"Pretty Woman." I say laughing.

"God yes I know it's totally stupid but its one of my favorite movies."

"No it's not stupid. I think it's cute." I say biting a strawberry and taking a sip of champagne.

I choke on my strawberry by the look Landen gives me.

"What?" I squeak.

"I'm strong you know… a survivor…I just…can't understand why I crumble around you." He whispers, gliding his thumb along my jaw line.

I can't help it. A single tear slips down my cheek. Not ever in my entire life did I think I would feel this kind of love. Not since my mom died.

"Is it okay if I love you just a little?" I ask not wanting to freak him out.

He grabs my face in his hands and says, "I love you. Period."

A dark silhouette of my father appears trying to ruin this for me. I wish this moment, Landen's words, could eclipse the shadows around me, always haunting me.

"Landen…your about to get lucky."

The night is still, like the gentle balm of a moan. When Landen's lips meet mine it's no longer silent. The roaring of my heart fills my ears; I can feel it pounding in my chest, about to implode.

"Are you sure?" Landen asks pulling away.

"Yes. Do you want me to leave?" I question, not wanting to leave much myself.

Landen's hand traces down my side, my thigh, and around my calf. He flips me on my back, now on top of me.

"Not at all." He says pressing his lips on mine.

Landen's smell envelopes me, making my body melt into him. My hands wind in his hair; silky and smooth. We break apart, needing air but even then Landen doesn't stop kissing me, he just moves down to my neck.

His hand still on my calf, presses me closer to him. But I want to be closer, held tighter. My hands glide up Landen's chest and back down, to where his shirt meets his waist. My mind's no longer working; its my body doing all the work, my body making my hands slide under Landen's shirt, my body taking it off. I toss Landen's shirt on the ground. His hand that's on my calf works its way to my stomach. He pulls away and looks at me; I somehow know what he's doing…what he's asking.

I lift my arms. He pulls off my dress with ease. I hook one of my arms around his neck, the other one rests on his hip. Landen grabs both of my hands and holds them above my head. He leans down and gently kisses my forehead. It's a declaration, of his love…for me and only me. I let go of all my thoughts; of regret and doubt and sink into him. I'm going to give him all that I have and more.

I roll over on the bed and wince as the sun shines on my face, directly into my tired eyes. I sit up quickly but regret it almost instantly. I lay back down on the bed and groan.

"Headache?"

I turn over to see Landen right beside me covered only by a thin sheet.

"Not anymore." I say and lean up to kiss his lips. What was merely to be a peck turns into me rolling on top of Landen. The sheet rides low; the sun shines on my back warming me up.

"Okay if you keep doing that," Landen says turning my head so I was no longer kissing his neck. "This will turn into an eeeencore." Landen's voice staggers as my tongue dances across his chest. He grabs my face again and holds it there.

"Fine." I surrender.

"God you make this difficult."

"Sorry." I say and roll off of him.

"We should probably get going." Landen says standing up.

I watch him as he puts on his jeans. I have to admit…he has a very nice butt…as well as other things.

He turns around and looks at me. Finally his time comes and he blushes furiously.

"What?" He asks and turns his back on me.

I wrap myself in the sheet and walk quietly up behind him.

"Just admiring your delicious body."

He lets out a shudders when I nibble on his ear.

"You are irresistible." He says turning around, facing me.

"You know how to make a girl feel good." I say to him.

"You should always feel good about yourself." Landen says, taking a loose piece of my hair and tucking it behind my ear.

"With you…I do."

He sucks in a breath and says,

"I love you," Landen's hands make their way around my waist. "I really really do."

My mouth is dry, with words I can't quite verbalize.

"I love you to Landen."

"It's really hard to say goodbye." Landen's nose grazes my jaw as he says this. We're sitting in his car outside my house.

"Then don't. Come with me, stay the night." I offer.

"I wish I could, but I know if I wake up in the morning with you next to me…I won't be able to let you go."

A small smile creeps across my face.

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"God this is hard, leaving." He whispers.

I let out a small sigh, and when I do Landen sucks in a breath…it staggers.

"Sorry, but every time you look at me, I feel like I need twice as much air. Do you feel

the same way?" He asks.

"Every minute of every day." I say and kiss his hand.

"Good night." I decide to make it easy for him.

Landen leans in and gives me a nice long kiss.

"That made it even harder." He says looking forward.

I laugh.

"Night, Landen." I step out of the car and walk towards the front door.

Shocked when the front door is unlocked, I open it hesitantly.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

Jakes voice sends an immediate wave of anger, and fear through me.

My lips are swollen; my hairs askew, my dress is dirty. I know what I look like.

"What are you doing home?" I ask. He isn't supposed to be home yet.

"What am I doing here? This is MY house!"

He screams spitting beer across the room.

"Where WERE you?!" He asks again.

"Out Jake." I say keeping it short; I'm not about to tell him anything about last night. It was special, earth moving in fact. And I'm not going to let him ruin it.

"'Out' WHERE! You can't come into this house at all hours of the night looking like you've had-,"
"Sex?"

The room can't hold the tension.

"Well don't worry over the matter Jake; it was actually consensual."

The look the crosses Jake's face terrifies me.

He chucks his beer bottle at the wall, shattering it. A piece of glass ricochets off the wall and slices my cheek.

So fast that it's a blur, he comes at me with full force knocking me back against the hard wall.

"No," I say hitting his chest with my fists.

Jake grabs my hair and throws me to the floor. Landing hard on my stomach, I try to regain the breath I loose from the blow. I start to push myself off the ground, but Jake kicks me so hard in the rib's I hear them crack.

"Uh!"

"You think you can just get away with whatever you want huh?"

He kicks me again, in the same spot.

Another crack.

"Uh!"

"Well you CAN'T!" He kicks me in the chin making my head snap back so hard I almost black out.

After 20 seconds the room starts to come back into focus, and along came with that was my purse.

My cell phone.

I need help and I need it now.

Jake walks off to the kitchen to get another beer, like he always does.

This is my chance.

Every movement I make sends a shot of pain that almost kills me, into my ribs.

Breathing hurts.

I rip my cell phone out of my purse and call Hayley.

"Hurry! Pick up!" I whisper.

"Hello?" Hayley asks.

"What the hell is that?" Jake's voice fills the room. "Who's on the damn phone?"

Jake yanks me up off the ground from my hair.

"Hayley!" I scream.

Jake punches me in the gut - I scream out in pain.

"Remy, what's going on! I'm calling the police!"

I can hear her muffled voice from the phone.

"No don't!" I yell, taking a blow to the face.

"Shut up!" Jake takes his size 12 foot and crushes my phone with one stomp.

"Sleep tight Remy."
He takes my face and rams it against the glass table.

If death could come, I wish it would come right now. Immediate pain sears into my eyes as I open them. I don't even want to know how I look right now. I go to sit up but then I choke. Blinding pain explodes behind my eyes, in my ribs, and every where else.

"Dear god what did he do to me?"

Slowly, very slowly, I try to sit up again and am successful but start to cry out in pain.

Looking around I realize I'm in the living room still. It smells like stale beer and blood. My blood unfortunately. I press my hands to the floor to help myself up but gasp in pain. I flip my hand over and pluck a piece of glass out.

"That sonofabitch!" The glass came from the dining room table he slammed my face against last night.

Hating the very idea of walking to the kitchen, I force myself to do so anyway. I have to call somebody.

"Uh." I groan as I lean against the wall, out of breath.

I resist the urge to life up my dress and examine the damage. With one hand braced against the wall I limp my way to the kitchen. When I reach the phone this first person I think to call is Landen he's the only person I want to see. But I call Hayley instead.

"Remy oh my god what the hell happened I thought you were dead and I couldn't get a hold of you and you said not to call the cops I didn't know what to do. I'm such a horrible friend I didn't even come to help you."
She's crying now.

"Hayley don't! You did exactly what I asked you to do. You didn't call the cops and I'm grateful, eternally. I am a stupid selfish horrible person to ever ask you to do something like that and you should never forgive me. I can't even imagine the amount of pain you were in and I'm sorry."

"My god Remy how could you ask me to do that when I heard you screaming in pain and you made me sit here and just listen until he hung up!"

I cringed from pain internal and external.

"Your right Hal and I would never forgive me if I were you."

"I have to forgive you, you bitch, I love you. And you're lucky I convinced Rick not to come over there and shock and awe your door."

"Thank you Hal."
"How bad?" She just asks.
"It's not too bad." It's technically not lying because I don't know.

"I'm coming over." She says.

"No don't, I don't want you to see me like this. Or the mess. Let me clean up and take inventory over my wounds and if they're bad enough I'll make up a story and go to the hospital. And then you can come see me."

"Remy,"
I cut her off.

"No don't. I'll call you. Bye Hal." I hang up then and walk to the laundry room for some clothes since there's no way in hell I can make it upstairs in one piece.

Suddenly it hits me. My dad can still be in the house. I grab a dirty knife out of the sink and continue to walk cautiously to the laundry room.

I grab a pair of sweats a tank top, and an OSU sweatshirt. Painfully I slide off my dress and choke on my tears. That bastard I'll kill him, I'll kill him. The entire right side of my body is covered in bruises. My ribs are defiantly broken I know this because I can barley breath. More bruises surface across my stomach all the way to my collar bone. As I slip on my bloodless clothes I'm glad he passed out before he finished the job. After I'm dressed I walk over to the sink and wash the crusted blood off my face. The water stings as it hits my open wounds. Finally I toughen up and look in the mirror. My whole face is one big ugly bruise. It's full of cuts from broken shards of glass. My left eyes swollen shut, and my nose is most likely broken. Plus the new wound on my hand.

"Oh yeah I have to come up with one hell of a story."

I walk over to my purse to grab my car keys but they're gone. He took my damn keys!

"Ah!" I wail but almost cry from the pain it brings. I don't want to call Hayley for a ride no need to worry her more. And I don't want to call Landen either he'll flip shit. I pick up the phone and dial the only other number I can think of.

"Hey Heath…I need your help."

"What the hell happened to you?" Heath asks helping me into the care.

"I fell done the stairs right into a vase of flowers. You know on the table by the stair case?"

"Yeah hell where was your dad when all this went down?" Heath asks eyes on me.

"At the bar…drunk probably." No need to protect him right now.

After 10 minutes of silence finally Heath asks me what I've been waiting for him to ask.

"I have to ask you this Rem. Why'd you call me? Why not Hayley or better yet your new hubby?"

Even rolling my eyes hurt.

"Hayley wasn't picking up her phone…and Landen is at work and he can't afford to come save a damsel in distress. So you were the only person who I could think of to call. Sorry." I add on.

"No don't be, it's fine." He says pulling into the hospital parking lot.

"Okay thanks for the ride Heath." I say and kiss his cheek.

"I can come in with you." He says but I decline.

"No its okay. I…I wouldn't want them to think you might have had any sort of-"
"Point taken." Heath says and shuts the door behind me.

"Thanks again Heath."

He waves goodbye and drives off.

I walk through the hospital doors and a cold shiver crawls through my body.

As I walk heads turn annoying me. What the hell? Have the never seen an injured person in a hospital before.

I reach the nurses booth and she lets out a small gasp.

"Um I'm not sure what to say here. I need some help I guess. I fell down some stairs and I'm pretty sure my ribs are broken. And I'll need some stitches."

"Okay just fill out this chart and take a seat. I'll have someone come see you shortly."
I say a quick thanks and take a seat. Shit! How am I supposed to call Hayley?

The man next to me's hand is wrapped up in what looks like a dish towel. What used to be white is now red.

"Um excuse me do you have a cell phone I could borrow. I-I need to let my sister know I'm in the hospital."
"Oh of course. Look's like you took quite the tumble."
"Yeah." I say and smile as he hands me his phone.

"Hey Hayley," I say after the tone. "Obviously you're at work and can't get away but I wanted to tell you it was pretty bad so I had to come to the hospital after all. So don't worry about it don't come and see me I'll be fine and whatever you do don't call Landen okay? Love you bye."
I hand the man back his phone and lean back. I close my eyes and some how-eventually- drift to sleep.

"Remy…Remy Williams?"

The sound of my name startles me into awareness.

"Hmm? Oh yeah sorry that's me." Grunting I stand up and follow the doctor to a bed behind a curtain.

"So Miss Williams it says here you took a nose dive down a flight of stairs?"

The doctor seems nice enough, and actually is a little cute.

"Yeah, felt great." I say sarcastically.

"Seems like it." He says with a bright smile.

"So how exactly did this happen? Tell me if this hurts."

His hands glide over my ribs and I wince gratifying him with an answer.

"Yeah that hurts…A LOT. And I just missed one of the steps and wham took a header down the stairs and into a vase down below. I feel so stupid, like I stepped into a movie."

"Ha-ha well at least in a movie you cant actually feel the pain."

"Yeah," I say. "Not feeling the pain would be nice."

"Well from what it feels like here you defiantly have some broken ribs and some serious bruising. Your nose on the other hand will be fine just a little beat up. But I still want to get you into a CT to see if their might be a concussion. After the nurse sutures you up of course."
"Okay." I say with a smile that soon fades away when the nurse walks in with a needle.

After the CT it turns out I have a slight concussion but nothing to bad. My doctor is going to start wrapping me up when there is a loud ruckus coming from outside of the curtain.

"Remy! REMY WILLIAMS! I could spell it for you if you'd like."
"Oh god." I mutter and cringe.

My curtain fly's open and behold is Landen.

"Oh my god." Landen practically gasps.

"Who are you?" My doctor asks.

"Landen Davis. I'm her boyfriend."

"Well I was just about to finish wrapping her up. She took quite the fall today."

"A fall?" Landen asks brushing away the total bull shit.

"Yeah you know how clumsy I am. I told Hayley not to call you." I say angry.

"Well she never did listen to you now did she?" Landen says condescending.

"There all done. I'll let you two see yourselves out when you ready. Take it easy will ya? And avoid stairs for awhile." When he walks away Landen whirls on me.

"What the hell are you doing Remy? Why are you lying for him? He could've killed you."
The look Landen gives me makes me shrink into myself.

"Because it's not that big of a deal." I say.

"Not that, not that big of a deal are you insane?" His tone makes me pissed.

"No I'm not. What I am is in pain and all I want is for you to hold me." I lean back and fight the tears.

"I wish I could but you're so broken." Instead Landen kisses me gently on the lips.

"I'll kill him I swear I will that stupid-," Landen starts saying words that would turn a sailor's ears blue.

"Take me home Landen." He knows what I mean by home. Wherever he is.

"I love you. Words can't describe how petrified I was when Hayley called me."

"I'm sorry Landen. I never wanted you to be a part of this." I say into his shoulder.

"I am gonna get you out of there." He tells me.

"Well let's start by getting me out of the hospital first okay?" Landen nods and braces me against his side to help me out of the hospital.

"Landen its okay. I can go home. It's been a week." I say as Landen keeps driving right past my house.

"No, you're not going back there as long as I can help it."
"I have to. I have to clean up god knows Jake still hasn't cleaned up the mess. And I have to finish packing. You know that apartment I was telling you about…well I finally have enough money."
"Well, I am going with you to help clean and pack. Then I am helping you move. Even thinking about leaving you there…unprotected." His hands are white from griping the wheel so tight.

"Okay." I say. When we reach my front door I turn around to confront Landen.

"Don't freak out." I open the door and Landen sways.
His eyes graze over the floor, the broken table. Beer fills the air.

"Lets just get this over with." He says and looks for the broom.

3 hours later the house was clean and my room was all packed up.

"So you gave the apartments your deposit yesterday right?" I nod at his question.

"Okay so tonight Hayley's going to pick up your stuff, your going to stay with her tonight, and then move in tomorrow morning."
"Yes Landen. It's all been worked out."

"Okay good." I smile, looking at my empty room.

"I can't believe I am actually going to be gone." Landen surprises me with a fierce kiss.

"Tonight I am going to take you out to celebrate. We are going to have an amazing dinner, drink some wine, kick out my roommate, and I am going to hold you all night."

I feel a pang in my belly.

"Sounds great."

Landen leaves when Hayley arrives. Rick helps us put everything in his truck.

"Let's get you the hell out of here." Rick says as I shut the passenger door.

"Please." I say as he peels out of the driveway.

"Woo!" Hayley, Rick, and Landen's cheering warms my insides.

"Hell yeah!" I say and they poor the champagne.

"So, what are you gonna do now that your out of there?" Rick asks.

I think long and hard.

"Just…breathe." I say.

"You deserve a nice long breath." Landen says kissing my cheek. I pull away when I hear my cell phone ring.

"Just a sec," I tell Landen. "Hello?"

"Hello, this is Marny from Lake Shore Apartments. I am calling because the check you gave me for the deposit bounced."
"What! No that's not possible."
No, no, no this can't be happening.

Landen looks at me with confusion.

"I'm very sorry but if I don't get that deposit by the end of the day, I have to put it back up for grabs."

"Of course. Don't worry there must have been a mistake I will come by with a new check today."

What's going on?

"Have a nice day."

"Yeah, you to." I hang up the phone and try to breathe.

"What is going on?" Hayley asks looking at me to Landen then back at me.

"My…my check for the apartment bounced." I whisper in shock.

"No! Wait what?" Rick yells.

I grab my purse off the table.

"Remy," Landen grabs my wrist. "What are you doing?"

"I love you," I kiss him quick on the lips. "I'll see you soon."

I hear him yell my name once before I'm out the door and to the bank.

"What do you MEAN my bank account has been frozen?" I yell, but then calm myself down. The security guards are very big and they don't look very nice.

"Ma'am is there a problem with this?"

"Of course you id-," I freeze.

Jake! He found out. That's the only way. And he froze my bank accounts. I'm screwed. Angry tears spew down my cheeks. I quickly dispose of them.

"No, no problem at all."

I take a sharp b-line and walk out the doors.

Going 60 mph the whole way home I make it back in 5 minutes. Thank god there were no cops but they wouldn't of even been able to stop me.

I halt the car to a stop, half on half off the curb. I am in no need for perfection.

"Jake!" I scream. He will not get away with this. This was my way out of the hell hole.

"Something wrong honey?"

The smirk on his face raises bile in my throat.

"What the hell did you do? That was my money! I earned it!"

He doesn't flinch at all.

"No it's my money. As long as you're living in my house that is my money."

"You think this is going to stop me from getting out!"

The angry tears come back. I could snap his neck.

"Well your wrong Jake I am gone! Have you been in my room, because if you haven't everything is far far away from the hell hole!"

He stares me down, refusing to look at the stairs leading to my room. But I can tell by the tightening around his eyes, the vein popping from his neck that he didn't know.

There is nothing stopping me now.

I back peddle as fast as I can out the front door and into my car before he can catch me.

Landen bombards me as soon as I enter his dorm.

"What the HELL were you thinking Remy? You go over there shock n' awe his door and WHAT! Expect him to have a warm welcome for you. He could have killed you, and then I would have killed him. I can't believe you did that!"

I just sit and wait until his rampage is over.

"Are you done?" I ask snootily.

"Not even close. I am just beginning to unleash the wrath of hell on your ass." Landen is fuming.

"Wow…it's kinda hot." I say trying to make him lighten up.

"Fuck that. This isn't funny, this isn't a game."
Knowing he's right makes me even angrier.

"I never said it was. I am just trying to calm you the hell down. It isn't even a big deal. I am my own person Landen I don't need your permission to do what I want."
"That's bull shit. That has nothing to do with what you did. You are just turning this on me because you're mad that I'm right! You know what you did was stupid and you just don't want to admit it. I mean look! Look what he did to you." Landen yells.

I quickly glance at my body still bruised and sore.

"Yep," I say in a tone he knows is mockery. "You're right. You are just so fucking right. Tell me Landen, how does it feel to be God?"

Landen rolls his eyes making anger ripple through my body.

"You know what Remy," he throws up his hands in exasperation, "Fine. Do that. Get defensive; try to make me more angry. But no matter HOW angry you make me, I am not going to just let you put yourself in danger. That's all I have to say. I'm done arguing with you. So deal with it."

I snap.
"Well I'm not. You can't just sit here and yell at me for 10 minutes and not expect anything to come back at you. Don't be a coward Landen."

He whips around and I know I just pushed myself into something I never should have.

"Coward! You shouldn't confuse cowardice with intelligence Remy. Unlike you…I know when to walk away."

"Well then," I say and grab the door knob. "Watch me walk away right now." I open his door.

"Remy don't. Don't leave angry." His eyes are sympathetic. Screw that! I don't want him feeling sorry for me!

"Well I'm sure as hell not gonna leave happy." I say, surprised flames don't come out my mouth.

"Where are you going to go?" Landen asks.

"Where ever you aren't!" I yell and slam the door behind me.

Uh! Who is he to say what I can and cannot do? I don't tell him what to and when to do it and what to do! My ringtone fills the car. I look at the screen. It's Landen. There's no way in hell I'm talking to him right now. God what am I going to do? I can't go home, don't have an apartment and I don't want to crash at Hayley's. But when push comes to shove I will end up going there anyway.

Still driving I close up on a McDonalds. My stomach growls. I pull into the parking lot, take the keys out of the ignition and walk in. I order a whopper, a large fry and a diet coke. Sitting alone in my booth, I can't help but think of Landen, help but cry. Why should I even care what he thinks? All he did was yell at me.

"Remy?"

I can't mistake that husky voice as Heath's. Quickly I wipe away my tears and look up at him.

"Oh hey Heath. Wanna sit?"

He nods his head. "Yeah Thanks."
"So, I know we aren't exactly close anymore but…I can't help but ask what's wrong Rem? And if oh nothing comes out of your mouth I might have to slap you."
I can't help it; I let out a small laugh.

"It's fine. No big deal. Just today was a little overwhelming."
"Was it him? Do I have to kick some ass?"
I laugh again.

"No you do not. And don't worry about it okay I am just a baby." I say and wipe way more tears.

"No you are not and no matter the circumstances…I still care about you. So talk to me."

Heaths words make me feel good and slightly guilty.

"It's just…my dad isn't the nicest guy," Heath nods as if he already knew this fact. "And I had paid the deposit and final months rent on an apartment. I wanted to get the hell out of there. Well today I get a call from the landlord of the place saying my check bounced. So I drive to the bank and guess what my bank account is frozen. My dad, of course. So I flip shit drive to my dads house and wail on his ass…which isn't exactly the smartest of choices…he can get a little scary when he's drunk," Heath's eyes are sympathetic.

"So I go over to Landen's place to talk and he gets all but hurt about it. We get into it and I leave angry. So there you have it my little soap for the day."
"Wow." Heath says. "You should call him."
My mouth drops open. "Are you serious?" I ask.

"Totally. You love him Rem so you should fix this before it escalates."

"Heath how do you know," I stop talking when he picks up his coat and stands up.

"You never cried when we fought." He leaves with just saying that.

I sit here finishing my burger and fries when someone flys into my booth.

"Landen! What are you doing here?"

"When you didn't answer any of my calls I got anxious so I've been driving all over town for you. And then I saw your car. Remy I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you I was just so scared. I've never felt this way about anyone before and it sucks not knowing if you are alright and I just overreacted."

"Landen don't apologize it was my fault. You had every right to get angry with me. I should be the one apologizing for being such a bitch."

"Don't ever say that." Landen says grabbing my hand and kisses it.

"Want to get out of here?" I ask.

"Yeah," Landen said and we walk out of McDonalds. When we get to the car Landen says, "I need to ask you something."

"Okay shoot."
"Well I was wondering, since your whole apartment thing didn't work out. What if we just moved in together? I don't have to stay in the dorms. We can get a small apartment nothing fancy just until we can afford something nicer?" Landen says in one breath.

"Really? You would want to do that?" I ask.

"Well…yeah. What do you say?"

I pause, making him nervous.

"I think we should go give the apartment complex another check that won't bounce." Landen smiles, I laugh, and then there is a lot of kissing.

Jakes POV.

That little bitch! Who does she think she is playing me like that! Does she really think it would be that easy? Getting away from me? A whole emerges in the wall where my foot makes contact. She'll pay. Where can she go now? To Hayley's? Yeah I know where she lives. I'll find her…and I'll hurt her. No more playing around.

Landen's POV.

I never knew such determined woman could turn me on.

"Baby," A bead of sweat has now broken out on both our foreheads. "It's not going to fit."

"Yes it will Landen. I'll make it fit. This damn couch is going to fit!"

A laugh bursts between my lips. We've been stuck between this doorway for 20 minutes trying to make a red couch Remy just had to have go through.

"Okay how bout this," I re-grip the couch. "How about we flip it over then you push I'll pull."
Remy groans.

"Landen we've already tried that it's not going to work."

Remy sinks to the floor and puts her face in her hands. Oh god- no please don't be crying, God if you love me please don't let her be crying. I can't handle it when she cries. She looks up at me now, her eyes filled with tears. Thanks God.

I hop over the stuck couch and sink down next to her.

"Its like Gods telling me this is a bad idea. Nothings been working. First I break the lamp your mom gave us. God and it was so pretty. Then I slam your finger in the door. I still feel horrible about that."

I look down at my bandaged finger.

"And now the stupid couch won't go in." She finishes.

"Rem, this isn't a bad idea. You love me don't you?" I ask her, she nods her head then says,

"Yes… of course I do."

"And I love you more than words can begin to describe. So… this couch is gonna fit, my finger is going to heal, and you," I say pulling her to her feet "Are gonna to stop crying because everything is going to be just fine."

I pull her lips to mine trying to comfort her even more. "Please don't cry." I whisper in her ear. I feel her shiver against me and smile. She wipes her eyes then grabs the couch.

"Okay one more time." She says.

I grab my end and start to pull. Remy lets out a cry of happiness as it goes through the door.

"Where do you want it?" I ask backing up.

"Over against the wall across from the TV; next to the window. God and look Landen, it goes perfect with those curtains and rug Hayley bought us. And your idea about that vase of flowers you bought me on the end table…is perfect. The feel of this room is just amazing."

When we sit the couch down Remy reaches her arms around my neck, pulling me close.

"This is going to work." She says looking around. Confidence finally in her eyes.

"Yes," I say "…this is going to work."

"I think…" She says, I pick her up, her legs wrap tightly around me. "That we should take a break."

"You know," I lay her down on the couch. "I was hoping you'd say that. Otherwise…I would have had to over power you." I start taking off her shoes.

"Well…even that doesn't sound to bad." She says and unlatches my belt.

"Well then…for another day." I say and take her lips.

As my eyes open I don't want to get up. I know that if Landen realizes that I'm awake he'll make us get back to work. So I am just going to lay here and pretend I'm still asleep.

"You know Remy, you really suck at acting."

I peep open one eye and look up at him. He's so beautiful that my breath wavers.
"I'm asleep damnit shh."
Landen laughs and kisses the top of my head. My forefinger traces the 6 squares on his stomach.

"You have no idea how good it feels when you do that." Landen whispers, eyes closed.

Landen and I are squished on our little red couch so I prop myself up on one arm and roll over so I'm half on, half off Landen.

"Mommy I love it when you do that." I say to her as her fingers run through my hair.

"Well I guess it just runs in the family then. I loved it when my mom did it to me to."
"Will you do it even when I'm a big girl?" I ask with a big toothed smile.

"I'll do it forever and ever." She leans down and kisses my forehead.

"What are you thinking about?" Landen asks me.

"My mom. And you know for the first time I can think about her and not feel…guilty. I can think about her and just be happy." I look at Landen and let him know through my eyes that he is the reason for this.

Landen lifts up my chin and kisses me until I can feel it down in my toes.

"Remy, I owe you more than I could ever give you. I will never understand how I came to be as lucky as I am… to have you love me. But I am so grateful that you do. And I am never going to let that go. I am going to love you every single day of forever."

A smile blooms across my face.

"Landen you make me feel smart, you make me feel beautiful, you make me feel… loved. All I have ever wanted is lying right next to me and he loves me. All I could ever ask for is right here and I have it…and he has mine." My hand's lying on his heart.

"I'm never gonna let you go." Landen kisses my hand.

"You don't have to worry about that because I'm not going anywhere."

________________________________________________________________________

Christmas is coming up in a week and school is just dragging on. Landen and I have had barley any alone time. We have both been busy for 2 weeks now with work, and school. But when winter break comes we are going to finish unpacking the last of our stuff and I cannot wait until we can both just relax and have a fun break.

"So how's living with Landen like? Is he a total slob, or like way clingy?" Hayley asks as we're heading to my car after school.
"He's neither of those and it's been great. Greater than I imagined."

"He's perfect for you Rem."
"Yeah," I say sliding into my car, "I know."

When I get into our apartment I greet our new puppy Taber who is very excited to see me.

"Hey missy did daddy leave us a note?"

I was so excited the day Landen brought her home for me. She is the cutest thing ever. I have always loved Golden Doodles. I put my keys on the hook and my coat on the one beside it. I walk over to the kitchen and find a note with a single red rose next to it.

Good afternoon beautiful,

So my friend told me the dumbest pick-up line ever today and I thought you had to hear this.

. So it here's how it goes:
"Let me see your hand" _ the boy tells the girl,
~holds her hand ~

"Okay this is the girl and this is the boy then this is a river, how does one get to the other side?"
"I don't know, how?" says the girl.
"I don't know either I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand"

See now I just don't get that, I would have just asked to hold your hand. Crap now I want to hold your hand. Well I have to get out the door before I'm late for my first class.

I love you and I'll see you soon.

I smile at the note and go under the sink to find a vase for my rose. Sitting at the kitchen table I pull out all my homework and go to town. An hour & a half later I am finally done with my homework and decide to go grocery shopping with the paycheck I just got. I'm going to surprise him and make him a kick ass dinner and after that…well we'll see what happens. Just thinking about being with him… bare skin on bare skin, makes my stomach roll, but in a good way.

I decide to make roast and twice baked potatoes which I know is his favorite with salad and a nice bottle of champagne that we have in our fridge.

"Landen is gonna love this." The shopping cart is already jam packed with food for our dinner tonight. You know what…I am gonna splurge damnit. I grab a big carton of chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream. The total rings up to about 100 $. But I don't care, I am happy-really happy- for the first time in a LONG time and nothing is gonna ruin that.

"Oh…my…god it smells like heaven in here."

I get shivers when I hear Landen's voice.

"Are you…cooking for me?" Landen asks, he throws his keys on the table.

"I am." I say. Landen is very sexily leaning against the doorway of the kitchen.

"You're like my own Betty Crocker. But way more sexy."

I laugh. "Thanks. Its all done if you want to eat."

"I am starving," we both pull out chairs, "oh my…are those twice baked potatoes?"

I nod my head and laugh.

"You are truly a god from heaven. Thank you."
I am rewarded with a nice warm kiss. If I get that before he even takes a bite…after he eats will be fun.

"I have never eaten so much in my entire life. Baby…that was delicious."

"I'm glad you liked it." I plant a kiss on his cheek.

"I loved it."

"Good." I smile big.

"If you don't mind…I think I might go take a shower." He says and walks towards me.
"I'll see you out here later then." I grab his butt, pull him against me, and give him a kiss that will make him come back running.

"You so did that on purpose." Landen shakes his finger at me and smirks. "It almost worked."

He walks off and I start to do the dishes. I always hate this part. Cooking is great…but I HATE doing dishes. I remember that about my mom, she was the same way. Always loved to cook…dishes not so much.

Landen comes up behind me, and fits himself against my back. Resting his head against my hair right above my ear, he wraps his arms around me; then puts his hands into the sink. He runs his hands down my slippery arms and twines his fingers through mine. Landen smells sooo good... so very good. I can smell my dove body wash on him. I turn around and wrap my soapy hands around his neck.

"Much better." He says.

He leans in and kisses me on the lips, then softly behind my ear, sending a current through me. Landen shifts and I feel the weight of his hips pressing against me. I didn't think it was possible to want him more than I have wanted him before. But now after being without him like this for 2 weeks I'm craving him. I'm tired of fighting it. We go over to our bedroom and lay down on the bed. With him on top of me I feel the heat of his body on mine. I lift my hips and grind them into him. There is a spark of pleasure in his eyes. "Remy," Landen says. I don't stop. His breathing gets a bit heavier and faster.

Landen's hands travel to the small of my back; he pulls me up – my back to an arch- pressing me closer to him.

It's getting pretty heated when our stupid ass phone rings.

"Ignore it." Landen says between kisses. He takes off his shirt.

"I can't its right next to my ear," I laugh when he nibbles on my neck, "What if it's important?"

He gives me a look as if I'm torturing him… I guess I am. And it's enjoyable.

But I feel bad so I let the machine get it.

"Hey sis. It's me. I'm moving back in. Surprise! I bet you're just glowing at the news. Seriously Remy why did you think I was in town all those times? I was scouting for a place to live. Your probably wondering…how did he get this number, well I got it from…someone"
I look at Landen and he shakes his head letting me know it wasn't him even though I knew it wasn't.

"Then dad being the heartfelt man that he is told me I could crash there for a few weeks' even months if necessary. Oh I also heard through the grape vine that you've moved in with your new boyfriend in a little downtown dwelling. I'm sad to say that I hadn't heard until that point that you guys were that…serious. I'm sure you two are just swell. But I'll have to bring dad over soon to check him out himself. I'm not sure exactly where you are yet. But trust me, when I find you, you'll know. Toodles!"

Beep.

To delete this message, press 1…

Landen is so stiff he could pass as stone.

"What…the fuck." Is all that comes out of my mouth. I feel this heat in my stomach so intensely I want to punch something. I look at Landen knowing he'll calm me down but all he does is scares me.

"Why! Why the hell can't they just leave you the hell alone! He is a sick twisted freak and I can't believe I didn't fucking see it! I swear if I ever see him again I'll kill him. I am going to rip his god damn balls of and shove them so far up his ass they come out of his fucking mouth!"

He is fuming. I place my hand on his but he quickly swipes it away.

"Don't. I…I just need a second."

I can see him shaking.
"Landen please calm down. I don't want you to do something…well…rash."
"It keeps replaying in my head over and over and each time, more and more anger builds up to the point where I want to snap."
I'm confused after he says this.

"What's replaying Landen? What are you talking about?"

"He…he touched you. He hurt you; put his HANDS ON YOU! And he lied to me for years saying there was no reason for why you were ignoring him, why you hated him. He was my best friend and he was LYING TO ME! I was best friends with a FUCKING PERVE who did the worst possible thing to the woman I love!"

Tears are streaming down my face.
"Landen I am so sorry."

"Don't. Don't you dare blame yourself Remy? Don't you EVER." His last word is a winded plea.

My head is throbbing, my eyes sting, I can barley breath, and my stomachs in knots. I put my head between my knees just trying to breath.

"But I am Landen. I never wanted you to be a part of their demented game. That's exactly what it is. A god damn game and its not going to end until someone wins…and someone loses. And they want me to be that person. They'll make sure of it. I promise you that."

I start to calm down when Landen pulls me into his arms.

"I will NEVER let them hurt you again. I promise you that. They aren't gonna win this game Remy. We will."
I actually believe him.

Bens POV:

She stole everything from me. My dad, my mom, my best friend. She humiliated me and rejected me. So yeah I'm gonna hurt her, by taking away the one thing that would hurt her most.

"Blen! Get your fuckingass in hererrr!"

"Dad I'm coming."

"Are we gonna do dis or not mmm."

My heart races in excitement.

"Yeah dad…we're gonna do this."
_________________________________________________________________

"OH my goodness I have never seen a movie that scary in my entire life."
Landen obviously knows this from the way I'm clinging to him for dear life. Never, NEVER again will I see the movie. I almost pissed my damn pants.

"Oh come on it wasn't that scary." Landen says, laughing soon follows.

"Yes it was Landen. And that little stunt you pulled on me…well your gonna pay for it."

So it was about 30 minutes into the movie "Bloody valentine 3D" and Landen had gone to go to the bathroom.

So I'm sitting alone in the theater- scared half to death- when some ones hand grabs my ankle from under the seat. I scream, making everyone else scream in the theater. Landen just thought this was so hilarious.

"Well, I hope your form of punishment isn't what I think it is." Landen says pinning me against his car.

"Well…I thought about it…but then I decided why would I want to punish myself?"

A very seductive look crosses Landen's face and it makes me shudder.

"Thank god."

Landen scoops me up- kisses me- and puts me on the hood of the car.

"Put me down I'm gonna dent it." I say pushing Landen away.

"No you won't, don't be dramatic." Landen pulls me closer so I slide to the end of the car.

"Stoooop," He doesn't take me seriously due to the laugh behind it, "People are watching."
People from the theater are gawking at us; a mother actually covers her son's eyes.

"They are just jealous." Landen leans in and plants a rough kiss on my lips that makes me melt.

"Woo-hoo. Well look at that."

Landen pulls away from me and looks at our audience.

"Hi-ya Joe…," Landen acknowledges the first man, "Dick." To the other.

"The names Mich." Dick says.

"Oh sorry my mistake." Landen says, his glare deadly.

"Remy get in the car." He whispers to me.

"You get in the car too. I'm not leaving you out here by yourself. Don't be stupid."
"Please…don't stop on our account. Landen I must say you did good…real good. She looks better in person then she does in the pictures. Now…that I've seen her face to face…my fantasies are gonna be so much better."

Landen starts to lunge but I grab his shit. He grinds his teeth.

"Landen get in the car. We're going home. It was nice to meet you Joe…you to Dick."
I say sliding off the cars hood.

"It's MICH!"

"Now wait just a minute. We," Joe points to himself and Mich, "Got some unfinished business with Landen here."
Landen's fists clench.

"That's just gonna have to wait until another time. So now you two can just go back to whatever trailer trash home you came from. And when you get there tell my brother to go fuck himself." I resist the urge to spit in their disgusting faces.
"Well I'll give him the message…but what are you gonna give me in return? I'm a very lonely man." Joe runs his hand down my arm.

Almost instantaneously Landen lunges at Joe plowing his face into the gravel road. Dust flys in the air making me hack.

Mich pulls Landen to his feet and punches him so hard in the face he spins.

"Stop it!" I scream trying to get their attention on me instead of him.

But they just keep kicking him over and over. Blood spills from Landen's nose and mouth.

Knowing they won't listen to me, I lunge on Mich's back and start punching him in the head, neck, his back ANYTHING to get him to stop beating Landen.

"Get off me you bitch." Mich yells.

But I just keep hitting, kicking, scratching. So Mich runs backwards ramming me into our car.
I'm breathless.

Landen's filled with rage and knocks Joe to the ground and kicks him in the face. Joes groaning in pain when Landen grabs Mich's head and slams it against the car knocking him out cold.

"Get in the car!"

I do as he says and jump in the driver's seat. Landen's barley got his last leg in the car when I peel out.

Once we're clearly out of their range I take inventory of his wounds. He looks like hell.

"Landen we got to get you to the hospital. You need stitches and BAD."

"No, I'll be fine. We just need to get out of here."
I hold back my urge to call him a moron due to his bleeding wounds.

"Okay…I see your logic I really do but…you are BLEEDING. This is a synonym for there's a PROBLEM!"

"Remy, don't overreact. I don't need stitches it's not as bad as it feels. I promise."
"Pull over." I say my tone calm.

"Excuse me?" Landen asks getting mad at this point.

"PULL THE DAMN CAR OVER!" I yell startling him.

"We're not doing this." I start up again. "This fucking I say do this no I say do this game. You are bleeding, and you are being a stubborn ass! If I was you, you would be hauling my ass into the hospital if you'd have to tie me to the hood of this car. Now either drive to the hospital or pull over. I'm not kidding Landen."

Landen's in awe. He takes a left and heads to the hospital.

"Happy?" Landen asks sarcasm ringing in his voice.

"Ecstatic." I say with the same tone.

Silence fills the car for the rest of the ride.

The hour and a half in the hospital isn't nearly as bad as the car ride over. Landen and I both cool off, get out nerves in check and leave calm.

"How's your cheek doin?" I ask as he cleans his stitches at home.

"Better already." He turns to face me with a smile. Landen's lips meet mine, a sweet taste. Then another, both a feathery touch.

I take in Landen's warmth and grace and find the strength to find what I need to say. "I'm so afraid Landen….that you'll leave me."

"I love you," Landen says simply, "Where would I go?"

"Wherever it is…don't go far." I whisper against his neck.

He takes my face in his hands easing me back until our eyes meet.

"All I want at the end of the day is for you to be with me. I want to go to sleep with you and wake up next to you. I want to come home everyday to hear you belting out your favorite song choice of the week. Ever since I met you I wanted to feel your legs around me. Damn remy…I want to marry you."

When I hear those five words my heart does a long, slow roll. I'm speechless.

So he speaks for me. "And I know that's scary and way too much to take in… so for now…I'll just love you with all my heart and more."

Landen wipes away my tears, grabs my right hand in his, and places my left on his waist.

"Dance with me." He whispers and starts to sway. He starts to sing a song that I've never heard of but it's beautiful.

"In the darkness I will fight to take us towards the light because what good are your eyes if you won't be alright? And in rough tides we will dive and I will keep us alive armed with only our screams we held tight to our dreams."

My hands brush his face, through his hair as we float to the bedroom.

"As days run thin don't worry you'll be fine in the end as time goes by remember to be strong, just hold on cause this is your song so hold tight and sing along and please come home and make me whole again."

In the dark Landen lowers me to the bed.

"Landen?" I ask, a whisper in the dark.
"Shh…just for now."

His lips are soft, so giving. We mold together on the bed, like music. Our legs tangle as we face each other on the bed but it feels so right. I can see the gleam on Landen's eyes in the dark as they work they're way over me like his hands. Each touch leaves my skin hot and tingly.

Landen's POV.

Each kiss is lingering. I can see the curve of Remys cheek, the shape of her lips, and suddenly I need again. Her heart beats rapidly against mine, gaining speed with mine. I shift kneeling over Remy to unbutton her shirt, then I bend over to press my lips on her heart to feel it fly.

Her hands glide to where my pants grip tight, but I quickly pin them to her sides, wanting to keep control. But then she takes charge and I lose all sense of "control". She takes off my shirt, her fingers feel like feathers brushing all over me. I hear a quiet zip and feel my pants loosen. Wanting to savor her more, swiftly in one motion, I hook one arm around her waist, flip her underneath me, and slide off her pants.

"Jesus Landen!" Remy laughs but it starts to waver as my hands glide along the inside of her thighs.

Her skin feels like silk against my finger tips. Remy pulls my face down to hers, the kiss in hot, smothering. I can still taste the wine from dinner on her tongue. I am totally gone, she now has all control. And at this point…she can have it.