I was vaguely aware of my whole body jolting. I was shaking inconceivably. But I couldn't see.
What happened?
One moment I was in the clearing, everyone behind me. Then the next second I was reduced to this blackness. I knew it wasn't a dream. I couldn't dream now that I was no longer mortal. But that left me with no explanation as to what I was enduring.
I heard their voices then.
"The morphine hasn't fully spread yet. Give her space." A smooth voice shimmered.
Carlisle.
But why morphine? I shouldn't be in pain. I was unbreakable. I didn't need a reliever anymore.
And then it hit me. The fire.
That excruciating pain that spread through my veins with no such mercy. I couldn't scream, my voice didn't work. What was happening?
I'd already been changed. Why was there venom inside me?
It burnt through me with permeated force. Just like it had a couple months ago.
I was being changed again. And I had no clue why.
"She's in so much pain, I can't bare this." Edward's voice coursed through my ear drums now. He was close. I relaxed but the pain stayed raw.
"She won't feel it soon, just give it time, son." Carlisle said soothingly to Edward. I could almost hear the deep moan he tried to suppress.
I knew where I was now.
Back in Carlisle's office turned hospital room. The gurney in the middle of the floor where I lay, and the medical equipment surrounding me. Exactly like last time.
But why?
Time passed, I'm not sure how much but I felt it. Light was streaking through my vision almost. I could hear urgent voices.
"She's not responding to the treatment!" Carlisle was yelling, panicked.
What was happening?
There was a disgusting taste in my mouth. Thin as water but rich with a strong and displeasing flavor. The treatment, I assumed.
"Give her more! Make her drink it!" that was Edward now. On edge. Was I dying? I didn't want to leave him. I started to panic myself, my body flopping atop the stretcher like a fish on sand.
Edward, please. Help me. Please Edward.
I love you.
My mind chanted words of perception. No one answered. I couldn't talk or see but I could feel the deep ripping at the core of my body.
"Carlisle!" I heard Alice's shimmery voice now "The immortal juice! We need it!" she said quickly. I could feel someone supporting my head. The hands on the back of my neck were so hot. It wasn't a vampire. It was…
"Some bloodsucker juice won't do anything!"
Jacob.
"It's the only thing that might save her. Rosalie, go and get it!" Carlisle's demanding, doctor voice chimed towards the door. I heard swift footsteps leave the room.
What was immortal juice? My head swam. Nothing made sense. This was not a memory I remembered.
"Bella, love. Stay with me, it's almost over." Edward said to me calmly. I wanted to answer. But I couldn't. He calmed me down though.
"How can you be so sure?" Jacob demanded. Always the stubborn one.
"Because." Edward's voice seethed with annoyance, I would've laughed if the pain hadn't held me confined. They always fought.
"It's the only thing we have left." Alice finished. Somber.
This was all wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen to me.
Then my eyes fluttered open.
I was just where I knew I'd be. Edwards hand laced through mine, looking down at my face worriedly.
Jacob supporting my neck, glaring at Edward. His hands were scorching on my mortal skin.
Carlisle, holding a vile full of thin, pinkish liquid. The immortal juice.
And Alice and Rosalie, standing in the doorframe with puzzled expressions.
Their faces grew even more confused as they noted my apparent state. Eyes opened wide.
The fire still coursed through me; even I knew I shouldn't have wakened yet. And then the vile was suddenly pressed to my lips. The cold liquid swirling in my mouth.
It was paper thin. Lesser if possible. It tasted of medicine and something so terrible I felt my face twist up in distain. The immortal juice made my skin glow. Working its way with me.
Then I choked, clutching my chest. The vile of glass broke in my hand and blood trickled down my fingers and onto the blue silk dress that Alice had apparently dressed me in. I looked up into Edwards's eyes with fear, then back down to my bleeding fingers that were now clean. No trace of blood in sight. I gasped.
Then everything went back.
I felt more movement. But the fire was gone completely.
I opened my eyes; I was suddenly in our cottage. The walls were a soft pink and in the corner a little fireplace held a burning fire. Warm and cozy. Renesmee's room.
She was in my arms. Her perfect chocolate brown eyes gazing up into my own. She was dressed in her long pink and purple pajamas. Tightly on her little body. I bent down to kiss her head. Her long dark curls almost exactly like mine, just a shade lighter.
Maybe now I was back in the present. I would stay here, I hoped.
Renesmee touched her little hand to my cheek. Showing me a picture of myself along with confusion. She wanted to know where I'd gone.
I smiled at her and laughed.
"I wish I knew." I said sweetly.
She shyly nuzzled her little head into the crook of my neck. Her smooth curls brushing up against my bare collar bone. I closed my eyes and held her tight. Close to me.
Something was happening. Altering time. And I didn't know how to get out of it.
I pulled Renesmee away from me to look at her angelic face. The shell pink lips and long dark lashes. She was asleep now. Her breathing steady and subtle. I lay her down gently in her wrought-iron crib.
The second I pulled the bars up to let her sleep, the blackness swallowed me again.
No, please not again.
But it happened.
I found myself in the forest. The one just outside my house. I was mortal again.
I looked around and suddenly felt the most deep, tearing feeling inside me. The hole. I gripped my chest and tried to stop it from consuming me.
That only meant one thing. I was back to where Edward left me.
"No!" my voice shrieked with realization. I fell back against a tree. This was not happening. Please not now. I begged my mind to take me somewhere else. Anywhere else. I would endure the fire a thousand times to be rid of this awful feeling.
I closed my eyes tight and hugged myself, keeping it all together. But this time I wasn't sure if'd have the chance to go to Italy and find him. I wasn't sure if Jacob was here to patch me up again and leave those significant marks, like stitches. On my open wounds. I might not ever leave here. Tears streaked down my face faster and faster before I even realized I could cry now.
I hadn't cried in forever, since before I'd been immortal. The feeling surprised me. I touched my face, feeling the warm tears, and wrenched at myself. I was reduced to being nothing all over again.
The starless night, as Edward had described it. My meteor had shot across the sky and was now gone. And I was blinded by it's beyond brilliant light.
My eyes would not adjust.
My fists were clenched, still tightly locked around myself.
He was gone. I repeated over and over again. Everything was gone.
My life had been taken away from me, the rug pulled out from under my feet just as soon as I swore it never would.
I couldn't remember things anymore. How did I get here? And the weird taste in my mouth, the paper thin liquid. What was that?
I was overcome with the distinct feeling of confusion. I wasn't supposed to be here.
I untangled my arms from my torso and was suddenly surrounded by the black again. The hole was gone; I felt my heart slow and my breathing relax. My pulse was back?
I sensed my body being twirled repeatedly through this black portal. I saw glimpses of things while I spun.
First was Edwards's face, which came up a lot. Then there were scenes from the Volturri. I shivered as I saw my least favorite one.
Jane, standing over Edwards's body as she shocked him. More worse then the affiliating fire of being changed.
I winced.
Then there was a vision of Renesmee in the forest with Jacob. Still in his werewolf form. Her happy smile as I felt her run into my arms.
Then Edward, his cold hands on my face. How it relaxed me deeply. And the glimpses of my first night in our new house. The torn fabric under us. The silence of the outside world.
I saw the deep underwater of the ocean as I dived into it from the cliff. My reckless act down at La Push beach, almost two years ago.
I felt myself spin faster.
And then I was abruptly back in the clearing.
I was shocked. If my heart weren't frozen forever, it would've beaten. If it were necessary for me to breathe, I would've been panting. And if it were possible for me to feel physical pain I would have been on the ground by now. But instead I was kneeling in front of Aro. His smile twisted into a smug grin.
I gasped. Everyone around me had obviously seen what happened. The Olympic coven (my family) stayed behind me. Except for Edward, who hovered protectively around me.
I knew that Aro could read every thought your mind ever held with one simple touch. Which I let him do by offering my hand out, just moments ago it seemed.
But I never knew he could deposit thoughts and memories in your mind. Ones you didn't want to see. Memories you've never had.