Robin of Locksley stood in the grand hall of his house. Everything looked the same as it had done the last time he had stood there. The same drapes at the window, the same coat of arms on the wall. Even the grand stag that his father had hunted to its death the Christmas of his thirteenth birthday, hung majestically over the fire place.
And yet all was different. It was not his house. Three months he had long anticipated his home coming. Music, dancing, joy at the return of the hero son not seen for 5 years. Perhaps the welcoming arms of a plump village girl to enjoy in a drunken embrace. If not all that, at least the smiles and warmth of his servants at his house.
But no. He stood, straight and tall and not a little agitated at the sight of Thornton, his long time house keeper racing up the stairs to call his Master and inform him that Robin, Lord of Locksley, Earl of Huntingdon had returned from the Holy Land.
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She stood straight, not daring to breathe. Her hand clasped on the door to her bed chamber. She dare not breathe for fear of being found. Had she heard correctly? Robin here, here in his house. This could not be true! She rested her head against the strong oak of the door and did not suppress the single tear that fell from her alert and wide eyes. 'Oh my God. What have I done'
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'Well, well, well My Lord' Sir Guy of Gisbourne bowed at the top of the stairs in a mocking fashion before striding confidently down the steps. 'Welcome home'
'This is my house Gisbourne, what are you doing here?'
'Looking after the interests of Nottingham's favourite son…. Oh don't thank me Robin, it was no trouble.'
'Then it will be no trouble to leave,' Robin said and turned on his heels to leave the room before he allowed his anger to be evident on his face.
'You have been gone a long time Locksley, things have changed.'
'That may be so, but when I left this was my house and it is still my house now that I have returned. Now GO before I do something I might regret.' Robin had edged closer to Gisbourne as he spoke until he could almost grab the intruder round the neck and march him out of his house himself.
Gisbourne gulped and yet did not alter the mocking look upon his face. 'Thornton, please tell my wife to pack a few things and inform her that we will be staying at the castle for a while.'
Robin noticed the look Thornton gave him as he bowed and ran up the stairs. A brief look as if to say 'sorry' without uttering a word.
Robin turned to look at the door. He noticed Much talking to Jessica, the young servant girl that had worked for him. Much caught his eye ' Master' he said and turned toward his brave warrior friend. Unfortunaltely he did not have time to tell him the news that was to come.
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'Locksley please allow me to introduce my wife, the Lady Gisbourne. Although I do recall that you have met before.' Robin turned and looked toward the top of the grand staircase.
She thought she might faint, fall down the stairs and break her neck. Never to face the trauma of what lay before her. Her hand shook on the banister and she struggled to breathe as she slowly made her way down the stairs.
'Marian' Robin whispered inaudibley. In one moment all of his dreams and aspirations had tumbled around him. All the nights he had lay awake dreaming of this moment, not one had ended in her being married to someone else, let alone to Gisbourne.
'Please Marian I believe you know our intrepid hero. Don't linger on the stairs, come and say hello.' he took her hand and forced her down the last few steps so that she might fall had he not caught her and crudely kissed her neck as if she were a piece of meat at one of his grotesque banquets. Marain did not flinch, her gaze did not leave the steely eyes of the man before her. Older, fitter and yet still the boy she had adored, her one true love.
She held out her small delicate hand, Robin caught it and noticed how much it trembled. He kissed it without letting go of her gaze.'My lady' he said without emotion.
'My Lord' she said and quickly withdrew her hand lest it should betray her to either of the men before her.
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Robin stalked out of the house and into the brilliant sunlight. He shielded his eyes from the sun and wiped the tears forming in them away. 'Master' Much was at once alongside his friend and war companion.' I'm sorry'
'Why, what have you done?' Robin looked at his friend and half a smile formed on his lips. He briefly held onto the younger man's arm and squeezed, as if to say it was ok but please do not say another word. They were interrupted by the sound of a carriage and looked, as Gisbourne and his wife left Locksley manor. Lady Gisbourne 's head was bowed and hidden behind a large hooded cloak she wore around her shoulders. There was not interaction between husband and wife. Robin watched as the couple left along with their entourage. All was left silent.
'Right' Robin said clapping his hands and turning to re-enter the house. 'Shall we do this properly now, eh Much' He strode in, opened his arms and shouted 'I'm home!' At which point Thornton, and all the old servants of Locksley ran out and greeted their master with warmth and joy.
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How she hated the castle, particularly on this day. The cold emptiness of her chamber and the crude and overbearing Sheriff but now she had demons and guilt to keep her company as well. She locked her door and lay on her bed, giving way to the tears that she had been holding in for the past few hours. Her body shook uncontrollably with each sob, she brought her knees up to her chest and cradled herself, wishing her mother was still alive. What must he think of her, did he still think of her at all? If he had done, then all that would have been destroyed in one afternoon. And yet she savoured how he looked. The tall figure was bigger than it had been. He was a man, a man who had been through a terrible ordeal. His eyes were still brilliant and she swore he could still see into her soul. His skin had been hardened, she assumed by the scars of battle, and yet his touch had been soft in its brief moment. She closed her eyes and secured the image of him bending to kiss her hand while looking into her eyes. She hoped upon hope that he had seen into her soul and the secrets that it held there.
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Much was drunk. He was dancing in a group of Morris dancers and jangling bells above his head. Robin had not seen him happier. His belly was full, he had drunk more than his body weight in beer and he had more than 2 young females hanging off his every word. Robin sat on the bottom stair of the steps he had seen Marian falter down a few hours before. He held a goblet in his hand and was turning it around in his fingers, staring into the dark liquid. Would he find redemption in the bottom of this glass? Thornton, his old and trusted house servant stood before him. ' Master, if you please, may I?' he said gesturing next to him.
'Of course please sit'
'I have seen you grow from a boy to the man before me Robin, and I am intensely proud that you have returned, as your father would be if he were still alive. However Robin, I see what tears you apart and I have to say that you must trust your heart. All is not what you saw here today. Allow her to have her say, my lord, if she offers it.
'Thank you Thornton, but she is dead to me now. I must build new dreams now that old ones are shattered. She is married, nothing can change that.' and with that he stood up and surveyed the room. He caught the eye of a pretty girl form the village. He did not know her name and did not feel like asking. He strode over to her and taking her hand led her to the stables. Thornton watched and sighed, perhaps he had not grown up so much after all.
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Marian dressed in black trousers and black man's shirt crept through the darkness. She held a black cape in her hand and wore long riding boots, her hair in a bun. For all intents and purposes she was a youth out searching for love on a warm summer's night. She crept passed her husband as he lay draped over a table, she leant over and sniffed the air around him. Pure mead, he would be out cold for hours. Quickly she ran across the court yard of the castle and mounted a large black horse. She rode off, not knowing what she would find, not knowing if she would have the guts to find it, but at that moment she knew that she must try.
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Robin sat up, wiping the straw from his bare shoulders. He sat with his head in his hands. 'Can I do anything more for you Sir' The girl said.
'No, thank you, you have been more than accommodating' he smiled weakly at her . He gestured for her to leave him and this she did, collecting her dress and her under clothes as she did. 'Thank you, you have helped me this night' he said by small way of appreciation for possibly taking a young girls virtue. It did not appear that she was wounded by his dismissal. She would have something to share with her friends when the sun came up.
Picking up his shirt he stood and strode into the courtyard. The party had long since died. Much was lying in a pool of his own vomit, fast asleep, his arm around a fully clothed older woman. Thornton was busy trying to tidy up the debris before he retired.
'Thornton leave it,' Robin said, his strong torso taking the older man by surprise. 'There is always tomorrow'
'Very well Sir. May I just say that this place has been full of much sorrow up to your return today Sir, and although you may feel that this has not changed, for many it has lifted many hearts.' with that he bowed and left the hall.
Robin filled a goblet of mead and flopped into a chair, where he stayed, staring into the fire. He took a young girls hand, brushing her dark curls from her forehead. The girl stared at him with the look of one that is totally in love. 'Marry me Marian, marry me and spend the rest of your life with me. We will make love in the moonlight and grow old together in Locksley. I will never leave you, and you will need no other.' 'Yes oh yes my love, kiss me and never let go….
The dream was shattered by the sound of hooves on the courtyard outside. Instinctively Robin was out of his chair, back to the wall by the door, he peered out into the darkness. He saw nothing but a young man alighting a beautiful black horse. He was too small to be Gisbourne, and yet he wished he had not left his sword in the stable where he had ravished the young girl. He sensed danger.
The youth tiptoed across the courtyard and straight through the doorway behind which Robin was hiding. At once he grabbed the youth around the neck and dragged him into the hall. 'What do you want?' he shouted, threatening him with all his venom. The youth drew up his arms and clasping his hands together brought them backwards, ramming them into Robin's bare stomach. He let the youth go as he fell to the floor. Quickly he was up on his feet, his fists bare, ready to fight.
'Robin stop. It is me' the youth said, but it was not a man. She let her dark locks tumble around her shoulders and offered a hand to stop him from striking her once more.
'Marian, what are you doing here?'
They stood looking at each other for quite some time. She at his bare torso, his skin tattooed with the sign of King Richard, his body taught, lean and more mature than she had last seen him. He at her beautiful face, glowing in the moonlight, slightly flushed with the exertion of their tussle. Her eyes pure blue. He followed her skin down to her neck where the shirt she was wearing had slightly come undone, revealing a small amount of her cleavage. He swallowed and raised his eyes to meet hers. He then remembered the anger and hurt that coursed through his veins a few short hours ago. He turned from her and strode away. 'Robin please,' she ran after him, grabbing his arm. 'I have come to explain'
'Well, you know where everything is, you have lived here long enough. Tell me Marian, did you enjoy your husband in what should have been our marriage bed. ' He spoke these words so close to her that she could feel and smell the alcohol on his breath as he spat his venom. She lowered her head, wanting to keep control of the situation. She knew that this would be her one and only chance to tell him what had happened. She needed to make sure that she kept a cool head and faced down his anger.
She walked over to the fire place. She turned a chair that had been up turned in the party over and placed it opposite his in front of the fire. There she sat, waiting for him to come over to her. He stood facedown for some moments. Weighing up the situation, after a while he sighed amd looked over at her. She appeared strong, leaning forward her elbows on her knees. She was running her fingers through her hair in the way that only he knew that she did when she was agitated or nervous.
'drink?' he asked curtly. She nodded and he poured her a mead from the jug on the table. Handing it to her he sat in the chair opposite her, hands in front of his face, clasped as if in prayer.
'I had dreamed many times of seeing you again.' She started in the way that she had rehearsed in the ride over to his house. 'but never had it prepared me for how devastating it would actually be….'
'Perhaps you should not have married my rival then' he said emotionless
Unperturbed, she continued. ' Robin there are many things that you do not know, many things that have happened that you are unaware of…
'I wish someone would sotp talking in riddles and tell me of these things that you are all so afraid to speak of'
' I cannot talk of how these have affected everyone but only of my own experience. Robin I have come not asking you of anything other than to listen, not to react but just listen. I will then go and leave you to react but please, grant me an audience.' He did not move, merely his hands gestured that she continue.
'Robin, when you left I was devastated, could not sleep, could not eat. Many worried about my health and my mental safety. All i could do was sit at my window watching for your return, where you would climb the ledge and plant a kiss on my parted lips. After a while matilda called to enquire about my health and she persuaded me to go with her on her rounds through the villages. Soon I became a nurse, caring for the sick and vulnerable, allowing a purpose back into my life. I pushed you slightly into the background, although i dreamed of you every night.
I did not see it coming, perhaps I should have, but a few months after you had gone, and a few weeks after my health had returned, Gisbourne came asking me to engage in a courtship with him. He had not asked my father, which was a blessing at this time. I thanked him for his attention but told him that my heart belonged to another and while he was alive and in the holy land I would remain chaste and wait for his return. He accepted this and left.
Life continued for a few short weeks when suddenly we were called to the castle. A messenger had returned from the holy land on a mission directly from the king. In his wisdom the king had sent this messenger with the names of all those who had fallen in the holy land. He had done this in order that the bereaved could grieve and move on. Robin your name was the first on the list.,,.
I felt my life ebb out of my body when Robin, lord of Locksley, earl of Huntingdon has been cruelly slain by saladin himself at the battle of acre. You died whispering the name of your sweetheart, marian. I returned to the house and wept for days. Nothing had meaning in my life any more. The one reason for getting out of bed had gone… I was devastated all over again.
It was at this point that Gisbourne returned. Not to me, but to my father. He asked if he could persue a courtship once more, my father fearing that he now had a daughter approaching 20 with no prospect of marriage gladly accepted. I was married within 6 weeks.
I had no interest in the marriage, I cannot remember my wedding day, I cannot remember what I was wearing. Robin I believed you to be dead.'
She stopped, looking at him, looking for a reaction, anything..
He simply stared her. His fingers against his lips, he could not believe what he had heard. It took a moment to take it all in. My god what had he done to her. She inhaled sharply. She was going out on a limb to tell him the truth of what had happened. If this could not convince him that she did not marry for love then nothing could. She was surprised when he stood up and went toward the fire. He leaned one arm against the mantle.
'Marian, if you are married then , then there are certain duties you should be expected to perform.'
Despite what he had done that night, for her not to be his pure Marian would devastate him. Such is the misguided world they lived in.
She continued, bravely. ' Yes Robin, I am a married woman, certain things are expected. So on my wedding night I knew what would be expected, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I dreamed of that night we lay in the meadow before your proposal. Before we were chaperoned as betrothed. I dreamed of the night we lay side by side half naked, after swimming in the lake. I dreamed of the way you held me and stroked my cold damp skin. I dreamed of the eyes that bore into me as you kissed me and told me that you would never let me go. And I dreamed of what might have happened had I not been fool enough to stop you before your desire reached a point of no return. '
She stopped, sensing a softening from her audience. He too had dreamed of that moment.
' This sustained me for a while. But he was never as soft, or as loving, or as gentle as I had imagined making love to you would have been… and I could not keep up the pretence for very long. After a while I merely allowed him to use my body. He soon tired of this and I asked him for my own room, and we came to an understanding that our marriage was one of convenience. I am a trophy wife Robin, a dammed good one at that. I host the most magnificent parties and say all the right things. He visits prostitutes in Nottingham and this humiliation is so much better than the having his hands on me again would be.'
Robin turned and looked at his Marian. He properly looked at her for the first time since his return. She was more beautiful now than ever. Her dark curls tumbled around her small frame. The alabaster skin that complimented the black attire so starkly. The blue eyes that had haunted every dream he had had in the last 5 years. And finally he saw her - she loved him still. She had not fallen in love with another. She had been tricked into a loveless marriage, having to bear the burden of sex with a man she did not love and the public humiliation of a husband picking prostitutes in a tavern. Gisbourne would surely pay for what her had done to his Marian.
He turned and bent down in front of her as she remained sitting. For the first time that evening he was lower than she, had her gamble won out?
'Marian, I am so sorry for your burden. I had no idea that this would happen to you. I was consumed with a selfish notion that you would wait for me for as long as it took. I had no idea that you would not be allowed to wait for me. How could I have done this to you?'
Both blinked back tears as they stared at each other. He held her hands and stroked her skin softly. If he had asked she would have melted into him there and then. But then reality dragged her back into the real world she occupied.
'You believe me Robin, don't you?'
'How could I have ever doubted my own true marian'.
She smiled and went to stand. Robin gently pushed her back into her seat.' Where are you going?'
'I must go back -'
'You belong here, with me Marian, this is your home'
'Robin, I did not come here to rekindle lost passion, although god knows that would not be difficult. I came to tell you that I do not love another, only you. I must return to the castle, to my husband. I am a married woman. I took my vows before god. Nothing can be undone now.'
'But… you do not love him?'
'No, but I fear that god would not see it that way. I made a promise…'
'A promise based on lies is no promise at all…' he took her arm and yanked her to her feet. They were inches away from one another. Their breath intermingled as they spoke. His bare skin could feel the coolness of her satin shirt. It made his body tingle. 'You cannot deny what you feel Marian, you should be with me….'
She pushed him away. 'God if there were a way believe me I would take it Robin. I am trapped, we are trapped. There is nothing left. You are lord of Locksley, I am lady gisbourne, never the twain should meet. ' He let go of her arm in defeat. He had one last hope.
'Marian, when I was in the holy land I had only one dream of my return, that I should kiss those rose bud lips once more. Please Marain, allow me to fulfil my dreams. ' He leaned in for that kiss but his needy lips were met by her fingers hushing him back.
'Robin,,' she faltered 'Robin, I fear that if I do kiss you in the way that I want to. To give way to the passion I have felt in me from the day you left. To run my fingers through your hair once more as your body presses against me, I fear that I would never ever stop. We must never allow ourselves that moment of weakness.'
And with that she was gone. She turned on her heels and was out of the door. Brighter than she felt on her arrival, she galloped over the forest and out of sight. Robin leaned against the door and watched her go. Her scent lay heavy in the air. She loved him still. Things were looking up..