Prologue

I want to be the best.

I want to be the best.

I want to see my fans smile.

The thoughts of an idol continuously are thinking these things. Thinking of how to improve, to be better, to stand out. But people like the members of AKB48 and the characters of vocaloid live for their fans, the people who support them. And that's all I want. Someone to take care of me.

I want someone to come to my concerts because I'm there, because I'm someone special to them. I want millions to love me, and I know that's wrong, but I want people to see me as I am and I won't stop trying.

I don't care if I'm the most hated person in the entertainment industry. I don't care if I create a monopoly, or take all the fans for myself. I want to shine like Rin or Mayuyu! I want to be someone that little girls can look up to and say... "Wow, isn't she cute? I want to be someone like her when I grow up."

I just want to be able to laugh with everyone. I want to be happy like Yuko Oshima. If I could just be able to live in bloopers, I would. I would be able to laugh all the time and I could be able to laugh like that all the time, be funny like that all the time, maybe I can actually help other's who aren't happy laugh just as hard. I just want to spread this warmth.

I know I don't deserve the attention and I know I'm too quiet to actually get people to notice me long enough to see the real me. But I will try. If I get one fan then I will sing for that one fan. Every fan I get I will happily receive. I don't care if I have one or one million, I want my fans to smile, to see me as someone who is worth noticing, who is worth looking at, who is worth supporting. I don't want to be invisible anymore. I just want to sing.

I love the acting and singing. I love people cheering my name, trying to support me, and me supporting them back. Even if my world caves in around me and I'm left standing by myself, I would still sing for the fans. I want to sing to my hearts content and dance like no one is watching. I don't want to be judged or told it is wrong. I want to be perfect, but I also want to make mistakes, and the only place I actually feel that is possible is on the stage.

I'm smart. I analyze every little thing. I don't know how not to. But when I dance, I feel like ever step is perfect, every step is in balance with the universe and I can feel the power it gives me, what my fans give me. I want to give it back ten folds, I want to stop being smart for an hour and show everyone the real me, I want to be someone like Lemon-chan, who loves what she loves and does what she does. All I want is to feel that also.

I just want the world around me to be safe, secure. I want to sing and touch peoples heart. I want them to feel what I feel. I want to know what a community really is, what the real meaning of family, friends is. I want them to feel how much sweat and blood I put into this, how many tears I cried for those unknown fans. I want the world to understand me that much more. I don't care if I start to cry or sweat or fall in a concert, as long as they feel what's in my heart like how I am able to feel when I listen to Gumi, or Paruru. I don't ever want to take my eyes off the ones I love, but I want to expand my love and make every sad child feel it, every lonely stranger, every mother who's too tired to go on. I want to show them that whatever I can do, they can too. I want them to feel... hopeful.

I want their dreams to come true. I want to be able to pick them up and give them wings. I want them to be able to fly towards the clouds. I just love all of them so much. I want to try harder and harder to show the world the dreams of the girls in this group. I will try harder and harder to make not only my feelings reach the fans, but also every joy and tear that they have shed for their fans. I want everyone to believe the songs they sing, about loving the fans and trying to cheer them up. All i want is to be able to walk away one day by giving every member a smile and a hi-five. I want to leave the group in tears like Acchan did, and I want to be able to touch millions like Miku, but above all that, I don't want anyone to feel like their invisible. I want to show everyone the special traits the carry, even if they don't believe in themselves. For everyone supporting me, I'll definitely support you back, over and over again, you just have to ask.