The Akatsuki's Adventure...In Mexico?
This was just a little something I wrote about a year and a half ago because I was bored and was watching Mind of Mencia.
I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki.
A/N: Konan only appears at the end. Sorry. I didn't know about her until three months after. Plus, she wouldn't want to go with the Akatsuki boys to Mexico anything...well...you'll see what I mean when you read this. Enjoy!
Inside room 208 last night was one crazy party. Itachi got up, still groggy with a hangover. Yeah, he drank waaaay to much tequila last night. Kisame was still trying to sleep, but Deidara came in and woke everyone up.
"So, did everyone have fun last night, hm?"
"I can't quite remember what I did last night," said Kisame waking up. "All I remember was this really hot Mexican chick."
"You mean the fat girl with the moustache?"
"Huh?" Kisame looked over to the opposite side of the bed, and sure enough, the girl from last night was sleeping soundly. Damn beer goggles!
"Oh god! I don't even want to know what I did with her last night. Wait, is that even a her?"
Deidara and Itachi just stood there wide eyed when Kisame pulled the covers down to reveal a fat old Mexican woman with a moustache. Itachi and Deidara began chuckling at a now red-faced Kisame.
"Well you guys should have told me when I had enough!" he shouted.
"Uh...we did. But you wouldn't listen," said Itachi. Kisame sighed.
"I can't believe I slept with an ugly woman last night!" A groggy and hung over Sasori came into the room.
"Will you three shut the hell up? You're too damn loud!" he said glaring at his three fellow criminals.
"Kisame drank too much and he woke up next to that girl!" said Deidara laughing. Just then two women stood behind Sasori.
"Are you coming back to bed?" one of them asked in a thick accent.
"Yeah, I'll be right there," he said leaving the room to go to another bedroom. Itachi held his hand to his head. His headache was really starting to bother him.
"Get me some aspirin," he ordered at Deidara.
"Okay Itachi-chan!" said Deidara cheerfully. Honestly, no one knew how a guy who saw a donkey show last night could be so cheerful the next day...
Itachi, Kisame and Deidara went into the living room to find Kakuzu sleeping under a sombrero with a bottle of Corona in his hand. Hidan had just woken up, and there were huge bags under his eyes.
"Deidara..."
"Yes Hidan?"
"Next time a Mexican man selling roses asks if you want to see a donkey show, please promise me that you'll say no!"
"Yeah, that show was pretty messed up, yeah."
"Glad I didn't go," said Itachi.
"Yeah, you were chasing the ladies with Kisame and Sasori," said Hidan.
"Speaking of which, why didn't you bring that pretty girl back with you, hm?" asked Deidara.
"I wasn't interested in her," said Itachi sitting down. Zetsu and Tobi came out of the bathroom, and Tobi's head was covered in water.
"What happened to him?" asked Hidan.
"Tobi fell asleep drunk in the toilet," said Zetsu shaking his head at Tobi.
"Tobi is (hiccup) a good boy..."
"Not with all of that gambling you did last night," said Zetsu.
"So, how much did you guys win?" asked Kisame.
"Kakuzu is the one who took all our money!" said Zetsu pointing (well not really, he has no arms) to Kakuzu.
When they all looked closer, Kakuzu was hugging a bag of money underneath the sombrero with his other hand that wasn't holding the Corona bottle.
"You're all my bitches!" he said randomly waking up. Then he came back to reality.
"Oh, hi. Don't touch my money and everything's cool."
"Right..." said Itachi. "So where's leader at?"
"Uh...well," said Deidara. "Me and Hidan took Pein out for Mexican food..."
"It was horrible!" said Hidan. "They had to condemn the restroom."
"Why?" asked Kisame.
"Because perfect Mexican food is so spicy that you'll get the runs, yeah," said Deidara.
"He crapped himself, didn't he?" said Kakuzu sitting up.
"Tobi is a good boy!"
"I think that's Tobi's way of saying yes," said Zetsu getting a glass of water.
Sasori came back out of the room with two beautiful women still clinging to his arms.
"Whoa, Sasori-danna how did you get such pretty girls like them?" said Kisame.
"Well for one thing, don't down so many shots of tequila," said Sasori.
"Whatever." The girls left the room giggling and shut the door behind him. Zetsu spat out the water.
"What the hell? What kind of water is this?" he looked at his glass. It was brown, and nt the good kind of brown.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to drink the water here?" said Itachi.
"Oh, I'm not going to die...am I?"
"I think that water was actually a pipe from the sewer," said Kakuzu. Zetsu looked at the brown water with disgust and threw it down the sink.
"I'll just get a bottle of water from the fridge."
"So, we gambled, drank, slept with women, and ate like kings," said Sasori. "Anyone else want to add anything they did last night?"
At that moment, Pein came out of his bedroom, and the room all of a sudden didn't smell so nice anymore...maybe next time Pein won't eat so many burritos and chimichangas and refried beans...
"So that's why you weren't allowed to go with us to Mexico," said Pein.
"Riiight," said Konan. "I'll keep that in mind."
Well I hoped you liked it, as OOC and messed up as it was. Reviews are appreciated...I guess...