What The Couch Hears
Post 5x18 - Castle and Beckett share more secrets, and a few non-secrets, too.
Note: I originally posted this on a Wild Rover gifset on tumblr. Thank you to everyone who read and reblogged it from there!
She nearly ends up on her ass twice.
This end of the couch isn't exactly made for two people to roll together the way they attempt to. It's only their combined quick reflexes that save her from tumbling onto the floor. It's funny, though; the laughter that spills from their lips makes the next kiss sweeter anyway.
Finally, they manage to get themselves situated; his back firmly pressed into the cushions, one arm locked around her waist to keep her in place. To be safe, she's tossed the throw pillows onto the carpet between the couch and the coffee table. They'll break her fall if something goes awry.
She strokes his ear gently, cataloging the way his eyes flutter shut at the caress. Clearly, he relishes the contact, turning into her fingers with a hum. His relief is almost overwhelming. He'd really been worried, hadn't he? She kisses his forehead, soothing him even further.
"My turn," she murmurs when he opens his eyes.
"Your turn?" He looks confused.
"Yeah. You shared, now I'll share."
"Kate, you don't have to."
She silences him with her lips. "Yes, Castle, I know. I want to." She squeezes his hand lightly, promising, "I want to."
He nods, eyes telling her silently to start her story whenever she's ready. She's only told one other person in her life, and as far as she knows Maddie's never told a soul. In the long run it really doesn't matter, not anymore. But just like his story, it's something that's often on her mind.
"When I was thirteen, my um, my mom and dad were working a lot on this big case. I'm not even sure what it was I wanted anymore, or why I was so upset at them, but I thought I could get their attention by doing something."
"What'd you do? Did you dye your hair green? Pierce your nose? Oh! Get a mohawk?"
"I hid my mom's papers, thinking if she couldn't find them, she'd stick around a little longer and I could have her there for whatever it was I wanted. Mom accused my dad of thinking they were garbage, and Dad accused her of not keeping her things organized."
She licks her lips. "They fought. It was an awful fight, Castle. One of the worst I ever heard them have. I was sure they were going to split up because of it, they were both so angry. I didn't say anything about any of it since they were so angry. I didn't tell her I did it, I even trashed them a little bit to make it look like they had been thrown in the garbage and dug out again."
Castle smiles sadly, resting his forehead against hers. "But they were okay after that. Weren't they?"
"Yeah they were. They made up pretty quickly, I think. But my mom spent a lot of time at the office, trying to recreate the things I'd ruined, make some of them look presentable to file. So my plan pretty much backfired on me completely. Of course after that, I started high school and stopped wanting to have anything to do with my parents in general because that wasn't cool."
"I'm so glad Alexis at least waited until now to stop wanting to hang out with me."
"She still wants to, Castle, believe me. She's letting you off easy compared to what I put my parents through."
Still, she knows it's tough for him to adjust, to see the relationship he has with his daughter change. He's been both parents, a playmate, and a companion for too long for it not to be.
Cupping his neck, she tugs him back into an easy kiss. "So, still think good things about me? Even knowing I can be vindictive and destructive?"
"Of course, Kate," he murmurs, flexing his hand against her shirt. "Always."
"Uh huh." She nips at his lip, swirling her tongue to ease the sting. "Your turn. Something else I don't know about you."
Her thumb slides over the soft hairs on his forearm. "Anything. Funny, embarrassing, sweet. Just something I don't know about you."
She's unable to stop herself from lifting her head and kissing his neck when he swallows. She's a sucker for watching his throat work the same way she's a sucker for watching his mind work.
"I'm actually glad Mother lives here. Not because I like living with my mother, per say, and she has no sense of boundaries, and it sounds pretty lame to tell a woman 'I have to make sure my mother's not home before-' okay, okay, no bringing women back here," he squawks a little as her fingers dig into his side.
"Ahem," she clears her throat playfully.
"Present, beautiful company excluded, of course."
Charmer.
"Go on," she purrs, glad to see the haunted little boy look has faded from his eyes.
"Anyway, I'm just, I'm glad she's here most of the time so I can check on her and make sure she's okay. The last ex-husband was… not a nice person."
"Did you ever find him?"
He shakes his head. "The PI I hired lost him in Rome. I'd say maybe he's a spy, but been there, done that, already have one Spy Daddy. Two would just be improbable."
"Maybe your Spy Daddy took care of him?" she suggests, turning her face into his shoulder. He's such a good man and he's so much harder on himself than he needs to be.
"I hadn't thought about that, maybe you're right."
Her lips press against his dress shirt.
"I love you."
Maybe it's something he doesn't know about her, maybe it isn't, but it feels like the right time to tell him. She loves him. A childhood mistake won't change that.
Their mouths collide; his hand holds her head to him (where she'd go otherwise, she has no idea) as he works to drive her insane. They're both breathing raggedly when he pulls away, licking his lips quickly.
"I love you, too."
"Mmm, not a secret," she teases lightly, pressing her thumb to his bottom lip.
"Neither was yours," he argues. Good, that's a good thing.
And so their night continues. Actual secrets are shared, along with many, many more kisses. By the time they slink to bed, arms around one another, she hopes it's more than clear that they see each other exactly the way they need to.