The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage

by Nekogigi

Yukino is your above average medical ninja working under the employment of the Akatsuki as their new medical specialist, however, life in a notorious criminal organisation isn't what people believe it to be. Join Yuki as she attempts to stay at least half sane among all the crazyness that is the Akatsuki in this random and cractastic story. Rated M just in case

1. Chapter 1

The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage.

Chapter 1

Authors Note: This fic is set somewhere during the two and a half year time skip, I think, but I can't promise you anything, and is complete crack at its finest ( or worst?). None of what you're about to read should be taken seriously. With all that out of the way I guess we should get on with the story, shall we.

Itachi: The authoress neither owns me (though she would probably love to) nor the Naruto series. If she did, I would not be dead and my foolish little brother wouldn't be gay. Honestly, are we really related? If mother was alive she would not approve.

Nekogigi: Tachi, your brother isn't gay, he just kissed a guy and ran away from home to live with a paedophile, now get your ass moving damn you, I wanna get some steamed octopus before Kisame eats it all.

P.S: there will be lots of trolling in this story.

Another P.S: many idiots and possibly even a goat were seriously injured during the making of this garbage I dare call modern literature.

Journal Entry :01. Oct 10

Dear Diary,

I, almost doctor Yukino Misaka, of fairly sound mental health, have come to the conclusion that all the crap I've been through thus far is completely and utterly Itachi Uchiha's fault.

'Why?' you may ask, well you see it all started when I destroyed half of our Fire Country base after the stone faced bastard made a snide remark about my inadequate medical skills, or maybe it started before that,I can't really remember. Tsukiyoumi me for wasting 90% of my chakra on attempting to heal your sorry ass upon your request because I am a magical deity who refuses to perform miracles. Were you not paying attention to your elders when they told you that the damaged sustained due to the mangekyou was irreversible? Psch scumbag who will not be receiving his weekly dose from my medical marijuana dispensary. I'll be eating muffins on my own this Saturday.

Anyway, my newly appointed therapist, Sir Leader Pein of the omnipotent trippy eyes, has requested I keep a journal so I may pour out my heart and soul in hopes of quelling my anger. Fuck you Pein, you can't stop me, you can only hope to contain me!

Kakuzu wants compensation for damages because he can't afford to pay for them himself with all that damn money he's hoarding in his mattress. Hidan and I will be 'liberating' some of the cash later to buy booze, douse Tobi in whiskey and set the annoying mother fucker on fire. Sounds like a good way to spend a Thursday night, don't you agree?

Trees are plotting against you, the Kishin has been revived.