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No Such Thing as Destiny by Kristi
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Reading back through some of my old fan-fics last week, I realized that a lot of them end in a bittersweet way, or sometimes even in downright tragedy. Rei seems to always be broken or conquered by fate and destiny – not once did she ever get her happy ending.
This mini-story, an alternate ending to Destiny, grew out of that realization. For once, I wanted Rei to get what she wanted – the man she loved, a chance at happiness, a life beyond her Senshi duties. This story is meant to be read immediately after Chapter 7 of Destiny, as it picks up from the end of that section and replaces the original Chapter 8.
So what do you think? Drop me a comment or email me at
Sailor Mars and affiliated characters (c) Naoko Takeuchi
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Two weeks later, Her Majesty Neo-Queen Serenity's private plane followed Hino Rei's to America. Her limousine cruised to a stop behind Rei's haphazardly-parked Porsche, and Serenity stepped out from its velvety depths, pausing briefly as she glanced up at the forlorn mansion. Soft yellow light shone from two sets of adjacent windows, the only hint of life in the house; behind those windows, Serenity knew, Mars would be standing vigil over her dying husband, keeping him company as she had been unable to for far too long.
The front door was locked, but Pluto had obtained its key a few days before. Fumbling a bit with the ornate lock, Serenity stepped into the darkened foyer, letting the doors close with a soft click behind her. As Rei had before her, she too felt the chill of death as she wound her way up the grand staircase, shivering slightly as she proceeded to the bedroom…
And then she was there, slipping down the darkened hallway to the only open door in that corridor. Light spilled into the hall from the doorway, and Serenity stood outside the room for a long time, taking in the scene before her:
Kyle Kennedy lay limply in bed, his gaunt face deathly white and twisted with agony. Beside him, Rei sat with her back to the door, one hand supporting her husband's head. "Just a little," she coaxed gently, holding out a spoon half-filled with clear broth from a small bowl on the bedside table. "Please, Kyle? Just a little… Just one bite. I know it hurts, baby, but you have to keep your strength up. You promised, remember?"
As a hint of desperate tears crept into Rei's voice, Kyle slowly opened his eyes, forcing a labored smile to his lips. He nodded weakly, and his locked lips parted just a bit, allowing Rei to slip the broth between them. His throat muscles, obviously weakened, struggled to swallow the bit of liquid; finally, with a low moan, he forced it all down, his body going limp against Rei's supporting arm after the effort.
"Shh…" Setting the spoon aside, Rei took Kyle's hands in her own as she eased him back down onto his pillows. "Poor baby," she murmured, squeezing his hands as his bony fingers clutched at her own. "I know it hurts, Kyle. I know. Shh… My baby…"
She sat beside Kyle, holding his hands in her own, until his tortured breaths became a bit less labored. His eyes drooped, then closed altogether; Rei wiped his sweat-soaked brow with a washcloth and smoothed back his damp hair, then gently drew her hand from his, unclenching his fingers and laying them against the white sheets. For a few minutes, she sat beside Kyle and watched his restless sleep. Then, as if suddenly aware of Serenity's presence, she stood deliberately and turned toward the doorway, her eyes cold.
"Your Majesty." Rei's words were measured, but she could not control the edge of irritation that crept into her voice as she spoke. "What a pleasant surprise." Her tone indicated that it was anything but. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
"Rei-chan…" Serenity glanced down at the man behind Rei. "I didn't know he was so ill," she said softly, ignoring Rei's barbed question. "Is he alright?"
"He—" Rei's composure faltered for a moment as she followed Serenity's glance toward her husband, and her face went a few shades paler. "Why does it matter?" She asked acidly, regaining her façade. "There are millions across the world in his condition, after all. Why does Your Majesty care so much about the fate of one?"
"Rei…" Again, Serenity made no reply to Rei's challenge. "He's hurting," she said softly. "You're hurting with him. Why didn't you let us know before, Rei-chan? We could have helped you…"
"Help?" Rei laughed bitterly, her voice sharp. "I don't need your help, Serenity."
"Rei—"
"I'm not a fool, Serenity." Rei cut off Serena before she could begin, her words icy. "I heard you and Pluto talking that day, Serenity. I know why Kyle is in this condition. You've helped put him in this bed, Serena. Don't come here and bullshit me and tell me that you want to help him now, after everything you've put him through. You've got no right to—"
"Rei…"
Kyle moaned suddenly, then, his strangled whisper cutting through Rei's angry monologue. "Rei… Rei…" His voice was laced with panic as he cried out again. "Help…"
"Kyle!" Serenity forgotten, Rei rushed to her husband's side, reaching instinctively for his hand and squeezing it tightly. "Shh… I'm here, baby. I'm here. It's okay… it's okay…"
"Rei…" Despite Rei's reassurances, Kyle was clearly agitated, shifting weakly in his bed as he moaned. "No…" He was wheezing for breath, his already-pale face going whiter than Serenity had imagined possible as he flailed beneath his sheets. "Rei… Rei… REI!"
And then, without warning, Kyle's wasted body began contorting with agonized spasms, his tense muscles trembling with each convulsion. "Rei…" He was beyond speech now, his panicked eyes struggling desperately to focus on Rei's face as he writhed in the narrow hospital bed. Rei… it hurts so much, Rei. Help me… Please, god, help me…
"Shhh…" Rei was trying to hold Kyle down without hurting him further, but he clung desperately to her hands and would not let go of her fingers. "Kyle, baby," she pleaded, trying to soothe her husband. "Baby… Don't be scared, baby. I know it hurts. I got you…"
Serenity came up quietly beside Rei, then, staring down at Kyle's tortured body with a mixture of horror and pity. "Here," she offered quietly, picking up a washcloth off the nightstand. She leaned down and gently wiped Kyle's face with the cloth, noting the conflicting gratitude and anger in Rei's expression as she did so. "Can I do anything to help?"
"You…" For a moment, Rei looked like she wanted to slap Serenity, but then her concern for her husband got the better of her. "Get that basin from the table," she said quietly. "Quickly! He's going to need it—"
She was just in time. As Serenity held out the small, kidney-shaped bowl, Rei snatched it out of her hand and whisked it beneath Kyle's lips. A moment later, he was doubled over the basin, retching up the broth Rei had fed him less than an hour before. There was more blood than broth in the basin, though, and Serenity was horrified as she watched Kyle's shoulders shake with each agonized mouthful. It seemed like an eternity before the dark blood gave way to thin, pink-streaked bile and then dry heaves; Kyle collapsed back onto his pillows, his eyes glazed with pain and obviously near exhaustion.
"Shh…" Rei dabbed carefully at the bloodied corners of Kyle's lips with the washcloth, then laid her face against his shoulder, gently cupping his hollow cheek with one hand as she reached for his fingers with the other. "My poor baby," she murmured softly, planting a light kiss on Kyle's cheekbone. "My poor baby. It's okay, sweetie, I'm here… I'm here. Rei's here. Try to sleep, baby. It's okay… Sh…"
As Kyle lapsed into unconsciousness, Rei turned her face toward Serenity, who still stood beside Kyle's nightstand. "You asked how he was," she said very softly. "Now you know. I've faced down youmas and all kinds of galactic monsters, but until I sat with him through the first night, I've never truly seen hell."
"I know…" Sensing the weariness in Rei's voice, Serenity drew up a chair beside the girl and let her gaze wander to Kyle's still body. "For what it's worth, Rei, I never wanted this to happen. I just wanted…"
"The best for everyone," Rei nodded. "I know, Serenity. I know." She sighed softly, tracing her husband's jawline with her fingers. "I know it, and I can't hate you when I think about it rationally. It's just… when I see him like this, throwing his lungs out onto my lap and begging me to save him, I just can't stand it, Serenity. I can't stand it. I hate you and Crystal Tokyo for ever existing, and I hate myself for falling in love with him and sealing his fate with my wedding vows. It just kills me…"
"I know…" Serenity shook her head sadly. "It's awful; I never imagined…"
"Do you know how much he weighs, Serena?" Serenity started at the familiar title, but Rei continued on, oblivious to her shift from impersonal coolness to the old, friendly name. "He's six-foot-two, and he weighs 94 pounds. That's less than me, Serena. Less than you. And he's six-two. He's got tumors the size of golf balls in his stomach and lungs, Serena. He's so drugged up he can barely see straight, but even the morphine can't save him when the really bad attacks come. All I can do is hold his hand as just writhing there in agony and too weak to even scream... It's so awful to see him like this, Serena… you don't understand! I just want to squeeze him so hard and cry, but I know I can't; I have to be strong for him. I have to be strong… but it's so hard…"
"Shh…" As Rei's words dissolved into tears, Serenity drew the girl into her lap, letting Rei's tears fall on her shoulder. "I know, Rei. We've put you through too much in these last few months—both of you. I know you don't like crying to other people, Rei, but it's okay… Even the best of us need a place to cry sometimes…"
"Serena…" Now that she had finally started speaking, Rei's words came tumbling out in a tangled flood. "I'm so fucking scared, Serena. So fucking scared. I love him, Serena. I love him. It kills me everyday to watch him like this, knowing that things can only get worse. It's selfish, I know, to want him to stay and suffer, but I really can't stand thinking that he'll be gone soon… I just wish I could hold him forever and kiss all his pain away, hold him forever like you can hold Endymion…"
"Shh…."
"And he still loves me, Serena, that's the worst part of it—I don't deserve anything but hate from him, but he still loves me so much, and I feel so awful every time he looks at me with those big soft puppy eyes. You don't understand… He tries so hard for me, and it just breaks my heart. No matter how bad he's hurting, he always tries to smile for me and tells me not to worry… Me! He still worries about me when I'm the one who got him into this whole mess. He says I'm the only reason he has to keep fighting when the pain's so bad he just wants to give up… He can barely breathe on his own now, but he won't let the doctors put him on a respirator because the tubes wouldn't let him talk to me anymore. And he'll eat for me as best as he can, even though every bite hurts his stomach so badly, because he knows I want him to keep his strength up. I know he's trying to make me smile, but all I want to do when I see him struggling like that is to cry, just shake him and ask him why he's hurting himself like that for me and cry…"
"Rei…" Serenity sighed softly, hugging Rei righter. "It's not your fault, Rei-chan," she said softly. "Don't tell yourself you don't deserve his love, Rei. You do. You do… He's lucky to have found you."
"That's not true!" Rei cried softly. "I've been nothing but hell for him, Serena. First I got him into this whole mess. Then I left him. You don't know what he went through after I left him, Serena. He swallowed two bottles of pills… Almost killed himself. The nurses told me all he did for two weeks was cry and beg for me to come back or plead with them to let him die. And then when I never came, he just closed up and gave up on himself… He'd pull out his morphine drip because he thought that he deserved to suffer, and he wouldn't eat because he wanted to die faster… Now, of course, all he wants is to have as much time as possible with me, but all those things he did to himself have been hard on him, and they've made him so much sicker… It's my fault, Serena. My fault. He never would have gotten sick if he'd never known me. And he never would have suffered so much, either…"
"Sh…" Serena lifted Rei's chin from her shoulder, letting her gaze travel up the girl's tear-stained face until their eyes looked into each other's. "It's not your fault, Rei," she said quietly. "You didn't know. We did. Blame us if you have to blame anyone, Rei-chan. Just don't hate yourself like this—please? He wouldn't want you to hurt so much, Rei, and neither do I…"
"But…" Rei sighed softly, and she laid her face back against Serena's shoulder. "I love him so much," she said softly, her voice dreamy. "I know you see this awful dying man when you look at him, Serena, but when I look at him, I still see the handsome, happy man I married… The man who never stopped laughing, who used to hold me in his arms and twirl me. He's still Kyle to me, Serena, even though everything else has changed. I love him so much… so much…"
"I know…" As if suddenly struck by memory or inspiration, Serena started up in her chair, shaking a startled Rei off her shoulder. "Rei-chan. Do you know the story of Selene and Endymion?"
"Um…?"
Ignoring Rei's surprise, Serenity barreled on: "Well, it's the story about the first moon goddess and a shepherd boy. She was crossing the sky one night when she saw him, and she fell in love with him. She placed him in an eternal sleep to keep him immortal and forever young, and every night, Selene's spirit still rests beside Endymion's…"
"Um… so?" Rei couldn't help asking, utterly confused by Serenity's abrupt non-sequitor. "Was there… a point to that story?"
"Yes!" Serenity was so excited now that she could barely contain her enthusiasm, and it took all her willpower to stay demurely seated. "When the gods and goddesses yielded this realm to kings and queens," she explained, "Selene left the power to grant eternal youth to the house of Serenity. My ancestors had to work out a few kinks, like that nasty sleeping-sickness business, but…"
"Oh, god." The implications of Serenity's words finally hit Rei; her mouth dropped open as she stared at the blonde woman, too scared to believe but too excited not to. "You—you can't be—you mean—"
"Yes." Serenity stood, and her voice and stature took on a new regality as she moved toward Kyle Kennedy's still figure. "I felt your pain, Mars, pain that the House of Serenity brought upon you. I came here today to atone for my sins, to grant your husband new life to repay his sacrifices and save the House of Mars from a bitter, eternal lonliness." She smiled at Rei, the smile not of a 26-year-old woman, but of a far more ancient queen. "Please accept my apologies, Mars. Can you forgive?"
Rei didn't answer; her gaze was fixed on her husband's face, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. "Can you really save him?" she asked shakily. "You—you promise?"
"I swear on the honor of the House of Serenity," came the reply.
"Then… please… do it. Do it!" For the second time that day, Hino Rei broke down sobbing. "Please, Serena… don't wait any longer. Don't make him suffer any longer. Help him…"
"Shh…" Serenity stepped to Kyle's side and drew aside his sheets, lifting the bottom of the loose white t-shirt covering his swollen stomach. Placing her hand just beneath his sternum, she gently tracing the sign of the moon against his bare skin with her fingertips. "Eternal… Moon… Healing!"
There was a blinding flash of light, and Rei staggered back as her retinas protested the explosion of information. As her vision slowly cleared, she saw that Serenity still stood beside her husband, though her face seemed a bit paler—
—but beneath her hand, Rei saw Kyle Kennedy's strong, tanned abs for the first time in five months.
For a long moment, Rei stared at the transformation, then fainted dead away.
When she woke, Kyle's strong arms were around her, his lips against her brow. "Rei…" For the first time in five months, his voice was free of pain as he spoke to her, his steady breaths soft against her face. "It's okay, Reiko. I'm here now. We made it…"
"Kyle…" Slowly, unable to believe her surroundings, Rei looked up—and found herself staring into the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. "We made it," she repeated softly, her voice dreamy with disbelief. "We made it, Kyle… We made it."
And then she was clinging to Kyle with all her might, squeezing him as if she feared him slipping away. "My baby," she whispered, as he returned her embrace. "I love you so much…"
A small smile on her lips, the Neo-Queen Serenity quietly slipped out of the bedroom, leaving the couple behind her.
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