Title: Their Number One Fan
Category: Glee
Ship: Puck/Rachel, Brittany/Santana mentions
Genre: Humor/Romance/Friendship
Rated: PG-13 because it's Santana and she likes to curse.
Word Count: 2230
Summary: Her girl is their biggest fan and, for her, she's going to make Puckleberry happen. Santana's POV.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters.
PuckRachel Drabble meme: Finn: "Did anybody else get an e-mail from Santana that if they get in the middle of Puckleberry she'll cut them?" –Sarcastic_Fina
... … …
It's simple really. She gets something out of it—it's the reason why she does it, it's the reason why she does anything. Anyone who says she's going soft is cracked and seconds away from getting bitch-slapped from the toughest bitch in Lima. She's Santana Lopez. She doesn't do soft, so recognize who the hell you're talking about. It's very simple, Brittany is the biggest fan of all things 'Puckleberry'. She's been on the ride, she took the photo and bought the t-shirt. For her girl, 'Puckleberry' is made of win. So for Britt's sake, she makes it happen.
Okay…so maybe she's a little soft when it comes to Brittany; but, fuck off, she's her girlfriend. She loves her and now that she's got her back, she's going to make sure she's happy. Even if that means helping her best friend get with the crazy midget. Which he totally wants! Puckerman has major wood for the resident Diva. It's funny and even a little sad the way he pants after her. And, okay, so maybe Rachel isn't so bad for Puck, or even in general. But, at any rate, she's better than the cold bitches he's been with in the past, like Quinn or Lauren or even her. She's always considered Puck kinda hers even if she isn't into his little Puck anymore. She thinks he deserves better and she realizes that Berry is one of the few women Puck has been with who hasn't made her want to claw her eyes out and has actually treated him right. It's a little known fact but, for all his skirt- cougar-chasing, Puck just wants to find a girl who loves him and, for sure, he'll worship the ground she walks on. The sap!
"Puck wants in your panties, Berry." She states as she sits next to the girl. "So, what are we going to do about it?"
Another thing that makes matchmaking Berry and Puck worth it, besides all the trim she's going to get out of Brittany, is the look on Rachel Berry's face.
"Excuse me?" Rachel stutters and she has to laugh because, for a girl in great control of her voice, she's squeaking like she's a Disney mouse right now.
"I said Puck, you know that guy you cream for every time he croons, wants to lay it on you like white on rice and I know you aren't oppose to the idea i.e. creamed panties, so what are we going to do about it?"
She watches as Rachel looks around them wildly and, for a moment, she realizes the girl believes that this is a practical joke being played on her, but she also realizes by the looks being sent their way that she's speaking kind of loudly.
"Lower your voice!" Rachel hisses, her face deep red, the colors of cherry. Hee. Cherry Berry.
"Sorry." She says and actually lowers her voice. She's trying to do something nice, not exactly her wheelhouse and it wouldn't help if she pisses the girl off before they even get started.
Rachel shakes her head at her, her face still flushed. "Now what craziness are you going on about, Santana?"
She rolls her eyes, she can already hear the denial in Rachel's voice. Why people can't just simplify their lives and go along with her, is beyond her. "Puck, Berry, Puck… you want him, he wants you and we're going to make it happen, keep the fuck up."
There it is… the denial, another shake of Rachel's head and she hears the words: they're just friends, that's all, she cares about him, but he doesn't want her like that….blah, blah, fucking blah.
"Yeah, yeah." She interrupts. "Enough with the angst-ridden monologue, I get the gist. You think he doesn't want you? Newsflash, Berry, you have a hot dancer's body with killer legs and no gag-reflex… that is the definition of Puck's wet dream. He wants you."
"Maybe I don't want him to want me for just that!" Rachel blurts out heatedly, looking down as she realizes what she has just said and to whom.
She smirks to hide the fact that she had a moment of sympathy for the girl. Shit. Maybe she is going soft, but she understands the girl's need to be wanted for something other than her body. It's the reason why she loves Brittany as much as she does. "Is that the problem, Berry? Jesus, I thought it was something harder like maybe you were still into the giant dorkus with his puffy nipples."
"I'm over Finn." Rachel replies and she has to grin that Rachel knows who she means and doesn't correct the nickname.
"And want to be under Puck." She finishes for Rachel, her smile in place.
"Santana." Rachel says with reproach.
She huffs. "Look, Berry, if that's the only problem then it's not a problem. I know Puck, I've seen the way he looks at you and how he acts around you and yeah he wants to do all kinds of nasty things with you that is clear as day but the boy also wants to hold your hand, serenade you, learn sonnets and read them to you. You know sappy ball-less things, he'd kill for a couples calendar from you."
"If he wanted those things, he would say something, Noah isn't shy." Rachel answers but she doesn't sound as doubtful as before and even sounds hopeful. Gotcha, Berry.
"Yeah." She draws out, sarcasm dripping from her words. "Because the last few times you guys have interacted on a romantic level, it hasn't been about you making Finn jealous. Shit, Berry, you can't blame the guy from being gun-shy at this point. No guy wants to be used by the girl they want to get another man."
Rachel looks at her with wide confused eyes and she can see the remorse there. "I…."
"If you want him, you're going to have to make the move and make sure he knows it's him you want."
"How do I do that?" Rachel asks and she knows she really has her now. She's not even denying her feelings anymore. Puckleberry is going to get down; Brittany is going to be so happy.
Santana smirks as she places her arm over Rachel's shoulder, pulling her closer. "You let me handle it."
… … …
As plans go, it's basic— proximity, proximity, proximity. Puck is in the music room, Berry is in the music room. Puck is hanging in the nurse's office during the fifth period, Berry has a headache that sends her to the nurse's office…you guessed it, fifth period. There's a party at a cheerio's house that Puck is going to, she and Brittany take Rachel and make sure no one messes with her. She makes sure they sit by Puck in Glee and she makes sure Rachel sits between them and then pushes her chair, forcing Rachel to sit closer to Puck. She makes sure Rachel is in Puck's line of sight at all times not that he seems to mind as he smiles at the girl, talks with her, teases her flirtatiously.
It's ridiculous how obvious they are about wanting each other, how everybody else but her girlfriend and now her haven't notice is something she'll never understand. Now that she has started this, it's clear as day Puckleberry is as meant to be as Brittana. Her pretty blonde gives her a sneaky smile. Brittany totally knows what she's up to and the heated look she gets tells her she's right about all the benefits she's going to get from playing Yentl to these two Jews.
"Alright, Rach, it's time for you to just stamp him down." She says to Rachel at the girl's locker one morning. "Just go over there and lay one on him."
"San," Rachel says, exasperated. "I can't do that, what if he doesn't respond? I'll be humiliated."
She rolls her eyes at her friend's dramatics. Yeah, Berry is her friend now; it surprises the shit out of her, too, okay. "Yeah, that is like never going to happen, but if for some reason we've entered bizarre-land and it does, I'll kick his ass for you and find you some hottie you can fuck on Puckerman's bed. Okay?"
She smiles as Rachel throws her head back and laughs. The midget isn't so bad and if it wasn't for the fact that she's madly in love with Brittany and it's obviously the same for Rachel and Puck, she'd make a play for the brunette.
"Why does it have to be now? In public?" Rachel whispers to her as they watch Puck by his own locker a few feet away from them.
"One," she holds up her fingers counting off. "It has to be now before you punk-out and, two, it has to be public because it shows that you want this out in the open and not some quiet rebound from Finn. So, go."
Rachel stalls. "But what if…"
"If nothing, you lay it on him, my boy will take care of the rest." She gives Rachel a shove in Puck's direction.
She watches as Rachel walks over to him and places a hand on his shoulder. Brittany is reaching her as Puck turns to Rachel.
"Watch, Baby," she greets Brittany. "Puckleberry is about to make its comeback."
Brittany gives a little clap as they both look on. Puck smiles down at Rachel, greeting her playfully with a press of his shoulder against hers. Even from where she stands, she can see that Rachel is nervous. The look Rachel sends her way confirms as much. She sends Rachel a look of her own. 'Do it!'
"Is she going to…" Brittany starts to ask but ends up squealing as at that moment Rachel places her hands on Puck's shoulders using them as leverage and plasters her lips against his. Like she knew he would, Puck welcomes it and takes control. Circling her waist, he pulls her off the ground, deepening the kiss. She raises an eyebrow as Puck presses Rachel against his locker and Rachel raises a leg over the back of Puck's leg. Damn, talk about heavy PDA.
"Huh, I guess they were harder up for each other than I thought." She comments, watching them go to town in the middle of the crowded hallway, ignoring the whistles and cat calls.
"Puckleberry!" Brittany cheers as she hugs her. "Thank you, San."
She smiles at Brittany, linking pinkies. "Anything for you, Baby, now I just have to take care of one loose end…"
… … …
She's sitting next to Britt, rolling her eyes at the couple in the corner who have decided that memorizing the inside of each other's mouth is a good way to pass the time. They've ignored each gleek who has come in and given them a bewildered look at the change in the relationship.
"Aren't they cute, San?" Brittany sighs happily.
"More like, aren't they in heat? Britt, look at them go." She jokes.
"They're kind of hot, aren't they?" Brittany continues.
"Yeah." She concedes, because they are.
Brittany looks at her with a serious look on her face. "And they are here to stay, right? This isn't going to be like last time where we get a week of Puckleberry and then poof! Disappear, right?"
She pats Brittany's hand. "Already taken care of."
Finn walks in, as she finishes assuring Brittany, with a confused look on his face and she has to smirk. It's game time.
"Umm…. Did anybody else get an e-mail from Santana that if they get in the middle of Puckleberry, she'll cut them?" He addresses the group, doing a double take as he spots the way Rachel has her legs resting on Puck's thigh, his hands on her waist, hers tugging his hawk, their lips fused together. "What the hell?"
"Uh-uh." She gets up and quickly puts herself between the giant and the couple who is only now realizing they have an audience.
"Nice of you guys to join us." She says over her shoulder before she addresses a furious Finn. "Now, puffy nipples, that e-mail wasn't a suggestion it was a notice. I will cut any bitch that gets between these two and if that bitch happens to be you… even better."
"Why…why do you even care?" Finn stutters, lost.
She shrugs. "I got something out of it, my girl is happy and I put a lot of work into getting them together so I'm not about let you fuck up my genius, so console yourself with a cheerio, with Quinn or fuck with your hand, but you leave them alone or so help me…" She lets the threat hang there; sometimes it's better to be vague. Finn is still scowling at her and at the couple but seems to value his bits because he lets it go and sits his ass down.
She smiles to herself, soft her ass; she's still the toughest bitch around.
"Santana got us together, Baby?" She hears Puck ask Rachel behind her.
"Yes."
"Why?" He questions.
"Because," Rachel starts and she can hear the teasing in her friend's voice before she even finishes, it makes her cringe. "She's our number one fan."
She swirls around to find Rachel and Puck smirking at her and she hears Brittany laughing under her breath.
Well, fuck her, she totally is!