Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me
WARNING! There's cutting evolved.
Hinted RoChu
The blood was gushing out in throes but I made no move to stop it. I watched as it stringed down along my arm, dripping off the edge of the elbow and splattering large, round circles on floor. It was mildly addicting to see.
The blood was slowing down now, but I can't have that. There was something thrilling and satisfactory about seeing your own blood leave your body. Maybe it was the pain. Maybe it was accepting that every person needed their own kind of hurt. Whatever it was, I didn't want it to stop. I ran another sharp edge against my wrist. I didn't want to stop seeing the blood.
Cut after cut the blade sliced sharply against my skin, but never too deep. There was no need for death or to alert anyone of my habit. It wasn't a big deal.
It was when I started to feel faint did I press a cloth against the blood, the red quickly absorbing the white cloth. I was too used to this to get rid of it, too addicted to cutting.
Once the blood stopped flowing, I bandaged it up and pulled a long t-shirt over my shoulders. No one needed to know. There would be many questions, none of which I can answer. I only know this: I can't survive without it.
Perhaps it started when the first dice hit my skin, donned by Japan that left unbearable scars. Then one by one, each of them had left me alone on my own. Alone with my pain and anguish, the only memory was the scar on my back. It brought me joy every time the blade would cut my skin. Reminded me of the happiness I used to have before Japan had upped and left, before the others had left and of the sadness that came straight after. Through this I can come to understand my emotions and drown in them until it is time to stand back up and put on my mask again; the mask of China.
I straightened up and exited the bedroom, ready to start on my daily errands and chores when something caught my eye. I turned and stared.
"Russia, aru? Where's Shinatty-chan? "
There was a pause before he took off the cat head. Although he was a lot taller and bigger than I, he still couldn't act his age.
"How did you know it was me?"
"…Your pipe, aru."
"…Oh."
I shook my head, ridding myself of the smile that was starting to pull on the corner of my lips. He was so childish, but yet it was quite endearing. It was like he was searching for someone to look after him.
"Aiyah, you must be hungry! I'll make something for you, aru."
Maybe the others are gone, but I still have someone who cares for me, even if it's in albeit scary and creepy way.