She was alone again... like it has been since she has gotten to this island. Though they were all nice to her, Claire couldn't help but feel so alone. Though everyone to help, it was out of pity. Pity for the 'Pregnant Lady' because here she was, eight months pregnant and all alone. The only person who really seemed to care was Charlie.
She knew who he was. Who couldn't know Charlie Pace was? Everyone knew who he was. The Bass and Vocals of DriveSHAFT. Hell, Thomas loved them and took her to one of their concerts last year in Melbourne. She could remember seeing him and the others on stage. He seemed so... haunted and he still does. They stayed after the show, the song 'Ask me again' stuck in her head. Claire could remember Thomas' smile. He was so excited to finally meet DriveSHAFT. After all, he owned all their albums, knew all their songs and here he was at one of their shows.
Claire was sitting behind. She was tired and had too much to drink but that didn't matter to Thomas nor did it matter to her because she loved Thomas and it meant everything to see him happy. After he got the autograph, he was talking about what a wonderful group they were, and some other things Claire didn't even catch. He ordered another round of drinks and they sat their talking, the ringing in her ears subsiding.
She watched Charlie. Something about him seemed so... lost. Though he appeared to be happy... and probably high, it didn't reach his eyes and she wondered why. He had everything but of course that wasn't enough, Claire knew that but why was he so haunted.He looked her way. Right at her actually and she smiled at him slightly and he smiled back. Then some girl threw herself all over him and that was the end of that. After they finished their drinks, Thomas was ready to go home, the whole car ride they talked about the concert and listened their first album, Going to Ground. Even after everything, Claire remembered that night. She could remember the lyrics, she could remember the look of happiness on Thomas' face and she could remember her excitement. Her first concert and Tom made sure it was special and she would always love him for that.
"Penny for your thought?" Looking up, Claire smiled as she saw Charlie. Ironic isn't it? He isn't anything like she thought he would be. An egoistic jerk who only cared for himself. No Charlie was anything but. He made her feel... understood. Forty-eight... no Forty-seven people on this island and the rock star was the only one who actually tried to get to know her and Claire was thankful for that.
"Perhaps a ticket out of here instead?" She asked him, a teasing smile and she patted the spot beside her. Claire was so tired of lying down but she knew if she wanted this baby to be alright, she had to relax.
"Don't we all want that? How's the baby?" He asked nodded towards her stomach and Claire smiled. Who would have thought he would have been so caring?
"He's doing pretty good. Sleeping right now. He was moving an hour ago." She smiled at Charlie and caressed her large stomach. It had to be her favourite thing in the world right now. Feeling the baby kick. It was amazing.
"Ah! That's the little champ. How's mummy?"
"Mummy's good. Tired of laying down but you know how it is." Her large blue eyes twinkled as she spoke to him. Claire hasn't felt this way. Not even with Thomas but there was something about Charlie that drew her to him. She didn't know what it was but everything about him seemed so perfect even his flaws. The way his ears sticked out, the odd, yet funny expressions he made just so she would laugh, his scars, his crooked teeth, the writing on his hand, the way he appeared so haunted, and most of all, the way he cared about her and because of that, it all added up to something wonderful. Charlie. The real Charlie.
"Poor Mummy. Listen Claire, a few of us are heading to grab more water and I am heading with them. Shannon, Walt and Hurley are staying behind so you won't be alone. Get some rest alright love?" He placed a kiss upon her forehead and with one last smile; he headed off with the others leaving her alone.
After about an hour alone with her thoughts, when the little boy... Walt appeared and handed her some water. "You looked thirsty." He said and smiled at her. Just his smile made her smile. Things like this always made her smile.
"Mind if I sit down?" He asked, his brows wrinkled as he looked around. He was a cute little boy. Poor kid stuck here when in reality, he should be playing with his friends and having fun.
"Of course not. Sit down." Pushing herself up, Claire took a sip of the wonderful water and savoured the taste in her mouth. Each sip as though it was her last.
"Are you scared?" Walt asked her and Claire looked at the child as though she has never seen him before. Something about him seemed older, much wiser than his what? Nine, Ten years of age. He looked as though he has suffered and like them all he probably has.
"Of course I'm scared." That was all she could say. Claire didn't want to put all her fears and her worries on a child.
"I am too..." And with his dog ran to him with a ball. Claire reached out to pet the beautiful dog and Walt smiled at her and grabbed the ball from his dog. Getting up, he threw the ball and smiled at Claire. "I'm Walt by the way."
"Claire. Listen, go play with your dog. Have fun Walt." He smiled at her as though he was asking her if it was alright and Claire nodded.
"Thanks Claire!" He exclaimed thanking her for what? Claire had no idea. And with that, she was stuck alone again. Closing her eyes, Claire began to remember the day she found out she was pregnant. It was mid January and she has been sick non stop. Thomas was laughing at her. Of course teasing. She must have eaten his mum's pudding the night before. Of course she laughed and agreed but that wasn't it. She hasn't been feeling well... for a while. Two weeks to be exact and worse of all, she hasn't had her period since... oh December so she headed to her doctors office where her worse fears were confirmed. She was pregnant.
Claire didn't know what to do. Her parents would oppose it, naturally, Twenty was too young to be parent and Thomas would say the same thing. Though he was a fantastic person, Thomas wanted everything planned and they had to turn out that way or else and a baby was not on his list of plans.
For the next two weeks, Claire kept her pregnancy to herself. Trying to think of what to do without her parents or Tom telling her what to do. She could get an abortion and she planned on doing that. She headed to the clinic but the moment she got in front of those white doors and saw the protestors, she backed down. It could have been the hateful words they were saying or the mere thought of killing the child that was inside her. Whatever it was, she knew she couldn't do it.
Heading back home, Claire decided to tell Thomas she was pregnant when he got home from work and like she expect, he didn't take it well. He told her she had to get rid of it and when she denied his request, he got upset. She loved Tom with all her heart but this was killing her inside. Her baby. He didn't understand what it was like, the sickness, the bloating so for the next nine weeks, she secretly prayed that she would lose the baby. Though she did nothing to act upon it, Claire hoped she would miscarry so badly just so she could make things better though that wasn't what she wanted.
Finally adopting came up and all and all, she was pushed towards it. Thomas began to set up appointments with potential parents for the baby and she actually chose. Jill and Pete. An older couple. They have been trying to have a baby for over six years and they found out Jill had uterus cancer and she would never be able to carry a baby full term so their dreams of being parents were squashed and Claire did like them.
They took her to her doctor appointments; they bought her things for the baby which was in her luggage somewhere. They treated her to dinner and most of all, they thanked her for giving them the baby the dreamed of but the moment Claire felt her baby kick, she knew she couldn't give it up. No matter how hard she tried to remain unattached to the baby, every ultra sound, every kick she felt herself love her child even more but she couldn't break it to them. She couldn't tell Jill and Pete she wanted to keep the baby; she couldn't tell her parents or Tom so she kept it to herself and the baby. Trying to keep up the smile, keep up the act which was slowing coming apart.
Her baby was the reason why she was here. Claire finally got the courage to tell Tom that she wanted to keep the baby and of course he told her she couldn't. Told her how selfish she was and how it would disappoint Jill and Tom but that didn't matter. Claire made up her mind and the only person who could raise her baby was herself, even if it was alone.
She begged him to reconsider. He wanted to marry her, hell they were engaged but that didn't matter. The baby was unplanned, a mistake, a flaw and Claire knew she had to leave. Packing her things and the baby's things, she grabbed their secret stash off money, the one he hidden for their honeymoon and headed to her regular doctor's appointment. It went well, the baby was healthy and she had to ask him a favour. Would he give her permission to fly. Of course he protested. It was a stupid idea, women as far along as she was could go in labour but she begged but soon he agreed only if she would keep in contact with him and call the minute she landed.
With that, Claire headed towards the airport and got a ticket for the first flight available, She was heading to LA. Now, seven days later, here she was stuck on a deserted island with forty-seven people, probably going to be eaten by whatever was out there.
Opening her eyes, Claire began to cry. Cry for herself, for Joanne who just died, she cried for her baby and for the life it may never have. She didn't know how long she sat there crying when she spotted Charlie heading towards her, a large grin on his face. Wiping her tears, Claire forced a smile to make it seem as though everything was alright when it really wasn't.
"Got you some more water love and we managed to get some..." Charlie faltered as he spotted her tearstained cheeks. "What's wrong? He asked her, sitting down and patting her hand.
"Nothing..." She muttered quietly, not in the mood to share her sob story. He didn't need her shit. She was just some pregnant girl stuck on a bloody island... nothing more, nothing less.
"Claire..." The tone he used made her sigh. She knew he wouldn't let her drop it and he would pester her until she told him.
"I'm a horrible person Charlie..." She said it. Finally she got that off her chest. Though it wasn't her whole story, Claire got that off her chest.
"Believe me Claire, I've met many horrible people and you aren't one of them. You have to be one of the most caring, most wonderful person on this island.." Claire blushed and she looked into Charlie's beautiful blue eyes. He had his own monsters and he was making sure she was alright.
"I am Charlie... I didn't want the baby. I thought of having an abortion... I prayed to lose him... hell, I almost put him up for adoption... but the whole time I wanted him... and I tried to do the best I could and look what happened Charlie. We are stuck on an Island in the middle of nowhere. How the hell am I going to do this?" The tears were back and this time it didn't matter. She knew they wouldn't stop no matter how hard she tried.
"This is my payback Charlie. God is cursing me because I didn't want my own child." He pulled her into his arms and Claire has never felt as safe as she did that exact moment. As Charlie whispered sweet words of encouragement into her ears, She leaned on to him and closed her eyes. Why couldn't life be this perfect?
"This isn't payback Claire. You aren't a bad person. You were worried. I mean you want the baby now and that's all that matters. Maybe its Fate." Charlie held up his hand and showed her his taped hands. The words F A T E were there this time. What he meant, she had no idea but it made her feel better. Everything about him made her feel better but that wasn't the point. Though Charlie has been going though a tough time himself, he was there for her and she hoped she could re-pay him soon.